EPOV

My eyes were crusted over with sleep, so it was hell to get them open.

"Edward, we're going to be late!" A female voice screeched from another room.

Maybe I don't want to open my eyes…

"Edward, I swear to God if you are not out of that bed and in the shower in two minutes, I will superglue your dick to you thigh." My best friends girlfriend and personal torture master, Alice Brandon yelled at me.

I cringed and groaned at her words, instinctively cupping my dick under the covers.

"No need to threaten the big guy." I mumbled, struggling to get up.

"There is great need. We have an hour to make it to that cruise, and you still have to get ready. There's hardly anything packed!" Alice exclaimed, throwing my clothes into suitcases.

"Alice, I already packed everything I need." I grumbled, pointing to the single suitcase beside my bedroom door.

"One suitcase! One! Edward Cullen, how do you plan on surviving an entire week cruise in the middle of the ocean with one suitcase?" She ranted, never pausing in her crazed packing.

"This isn't going to be Gilligan's Island, Alice. I need a weeks worth of jeans and t-shirts, tooth paste and tooth brush, deodorant, and a couple pairs of shoes. That's it." I said, walking through my room to my bathroom.

"Oh my God! I'm not even… just let me pack." She called out dramatically.

I shrugged to myself and turned on my shower, stepping inside and basking in the steaming water beating down, waking me up fully.

Nothing like a nice, hot shower.

Today was the day that Alice was dragging me and Jasper to some Bahamas cruise to celebrate Jasper's newest book. It had reached the New York Times Best Seller list in a matter of days, making it his greatest success yet.

Jasper was being his usual modest self about it, but Alice decided it was time to celebrate, so she scheduled the three of us for the cruise, wanting to get away from it all so Jasper could relax and have fun.

I had no idea why I'd been invited along, other than the fact that Jasper and I had been friends since middle school and was pretty much his only friend.

At least a friend that didn't want him for the success and spotlight he brought.

But Jasper said that he wanted me to come along and I thought that a seven day cruise around the Bahamas wasn't going to be too bad.

I got out of the shower, wrapping a towel securely around my waist just in case Alice was still in my room.

Didn't want to scar the poor girl for life.

Now don't get me wrong here, I might be a little shy around women, but I know look pretty good. I don't mean that in a vain, douche bag, look-at-my-guns kind of way. It's just… I go to the gym a few times a week and well, I own a mirror.

But Alice was like my annoying little sister. That type that you wanted to smother with a pillow one minute and get on your knees to thank her for something amazing she's done the next minute. So I knew seeing me wet and naked would be a mood killer for the both of us.

"Here, get dressed." She shoved a handful of clothes at me. I did what she said, dutifully putting on the clothes back in the bathroom, brushing my teeth, too. Deciding to go for my contacts instead of those annoying glasses, I struggled for a minute putting them in.

Sometimes I wondered if the contacts were worth it. I hated putting shit in my eyes like that.

When I was done with everything, I went out to the living room, leaving her alone to do whatever.

Jasper was just sitting on my couch, flipping through channels on my flat screen.

"A little warning on the tornado would have been nice." I said, collapsing next to him.

"Sorry. She dragged me out of bed, too. Didn't have much time to use the phone. Next time I'll try smoke signals." He said, not even looking toward me.

I snorted. This was our relationship. Puns and quips half the time, the other half deep, meaningful conversations.

Mostly puns, though.

"There, all packed!" Alice said, lugging out three more suitcases in addition to my original one.

"Alice, I don't need al-"

"Just let it go man." Jasper interrupted.

I sighed, but got up to help her with the bags just the same. I was raised a gentleman, damn it. I wasn't about to let Alice carry bags that weighed as much as she does.

"Let's go! I'm ready for some tanning and strawberry daiquiri's!" Alice said, excited and hopping up and down on the balls of her feet.

I smiled at her enthusiasm and followed her out the door.

AN

Edward! Yay! So… what do you think of him? Yes, I threw in a dash of NerdWard. I couldn't help it, I have a slight obsession with NerdWards.