Liquid Diamonds

There's a sea secret in me…

Itachi sat on the river bank, a pack of mints in hand, and watched Kisame swim back and forth. In the dimming light, his broad, pale blue back glistened. His movements were as graceful and streamlined as any fish; it was almost calming watching him swimming. The Samehada bobbed alongside him like some beastly hybrid of sea urchin and sea slug.

Swimming was Kisame's preferred form of exercise. An underwater thing, he called himself; legend had it that his clan, the Hoshigaki, were the descendants of a kappa, or a giant fish – depending on who you listened to – who had mated with a human woman. Certainly, while it was traditional for members of the Seven Swordsmen to sharpen their teeth to points, none of them had pale blue skin or gills, nor did they have the ability to breathe underwater. This ability, as Itachi had learned, came in handy when a target was sighted on or near water. The current target, the Sanbi, had last been sighted within this river, and Kisame was looking for it.

It was one of their biggest missions yet, and Itachi was prepared to wait as long as he needed.

Recently, Kisame had asked Itachi if he had a girlfriend. Itachi had shaken his head – he had had one, but he had killed her in the Uchiha massacre, along with the rest of them – and Kisame had laughed, saying, "I thought as much. So you're like me, then."

More vulgar-minded shinobi than Itachi might have joked that Kisame was in love with his sword, or perhaps even fucking it. Given the crude humour of some of the shinobi Itachi had encountered in Kirigakure in the past, it would only take one glimpse at the sword's gaping maw, normally hidden under bandages, to spawn some rather disgusting jokes about what Kisame got up to with his weapon. For the Samehada, Itachi had discovered early on, was not only a dangerous sword, a powerful weapon that consumed chakra; it was sentient. Or rather, she was sentient. Kisame always referred to it as 'she'. "The only voman in my life," he'd say, gently stroking the rough spiky surface of the sword. "I don't need anyone else." Indeed, sometimes Itachi wondered if Kisame really did mean that literally. He always slept with one hand gripping the sword's hilt, its bandaged body pressed closely to his own. Sometimes he would talk to it in low tones or even stroke it like a pet, like a lover.

Itachi sometimes wondered, but kept his thoughts to himself.

Kisame finished his laps and swam up to the bank, Samehada in hand.

"Mint?" Itachi asked, holding out the pack. Kisame shook his head. He heaved himself up on the bank, patted himself dry, and flung on his coat. Beside him, Samehada made a low rumbling noise that, to Itachi's mind, sounded like the purring of a satisfied cat.

"I think ve have it," Kisame said. "Samehada vas getting excited. It's been a vhile since I last fed her." He cast a glance at the sword. "The chakra of this beast should keep her satisfied."

Itachi said nothing.

Samehada squeaked and grunted. Kisame's hand tensed on the hilt.

"Vat is it?"

Itachi looked down at the water and noticed that it was beginning to ripple, and the ripples were growing larger. He held out his hand to see if it was raining, but felt no raindrops.

Samehada began to squeak again, and bared its teeth. So did Kisame. Neither he nor Itachi needed to exchange words; the plan was set in stone. Kisame took a running dive into the water as Itachi activated his Sharingan, and man and sword fused together. Itachi had seen them do this before, and although he was not easily shocked, there was nevertheless something unnerving about seeing Kisame emerging from the water as a sharklike creature with fins and scales covering his body.

Then a wall of water arose from the river, then another, and a giant shell emerged. The hideous creature was covered in spikes and scales the colour of wet sand, its only discernible facial features a pair of red eyes. It was these that Itachi planned to aim for, if he could get close to the beast. He leapt onto the surface of the water, eyes following the movement of the walls of water. Kisame would be homing in on his target.

Then a second figure appeared, and as the river boiled and hurled up wave after wave, Kisame lunged at the Sanbi, grabbing it by the head. With a roar, the beast tossed Kisame away as if he were nothing more than a minnow, but Kisame, Itachi knew, would not give up until he had his prey. Itachi ran towards the wall of water and fired a ball of flame from his mouth, in the hope that it would boil the water even further; Kisame's hardened scales would protect him. It was a chance he had to take.

Kisame was grappling with the beast, both arms around its neck. The water roared in Itachi's ears. The Sanbi was trying its hardest to curl up into a giant spiked ball, and after throwing Kisame off again, it began to roll itself up for protection.

Kisame grabbed hold of a tail and held on for dear life, his face twisted in irritation and agony. Itachi shot another fireball at the Sanbi, hoping to Izanagi-sama he wasn't going to turn Kisame into fried shark, but the fireball hissed and died. You idiot, he thought, you're in water. Of course it won't work.

The seething river vomited blue sharks. Kisame must have summoned them. They flung themselves at the Sanbi's body, battering every inch they could hit, and still Kisame was clinging to its scales, and one of the beast's red eyes opened.

It was one of the last mistakes the beast would ever make.

"Tsukuyomi."

The beast froze, and Kisame reverted to his human form, dissipating the sharks into vapour, and the Samehada licked its – her – lips and began to drink up the Sanbi's chakra. Itachi felt the water moving under him, it wasn't easy trying to keep his balance and mind rape a three-tailed monster at the same time, and the beast was trying to counter him and release its hallucinogenic mist as a last resort, but no-one was going to out-genjutsu Itachi Uchiha, not even an eldritch abomination. Itachi gritted his teeth and forced himself to watch the sword as its body undulated with the chakra it was consuming.

Then the beast was still.

Itachi winced at the throbbing pain in his eye socket and walked back to the bank. A few minutes later, Kisame emerged from the water, bloodstained, exhausted, and dragging a subdued Sanbi behind him.

"I think I may have underestimated it a little," said Kisame. "Thank you. Your help vas much appreciated." He looked at Itachi with concern. "Vat have you done to yourself? Your eye is bleeding again."

"It'll calm down," muttered Itachi. "Just a minor setback. How many beasts have we got left?"

Kisame did a quick calculation. "Should be three." He gently laid the Samehada down on the grass and walked back towards the river, with one last glance at Itachi. "I'm going for a svim. My back is killing me. Rest yourself."

Itachi was too tired to argue, and lay back on the grass.