Chapter 31 – George Weasley Cheats Death

Submitted: Monday 26 September 2011

Harry was asked time and again what was going on in George's head. He had no more idea than the rest of the world. George had spent several evenings on the Quidditch Pitch doing Merlin knows what.

He spent even more time marketing his next great venture. Already advertisements were in The Quibbler, Witch Weekly and Quidditch Weekly in England. George also placed advertisements in publications such as Your Voodoo News in the States and Amsterdam's Het Orakel on the Continent. He piggybacked his ads on announcements that he was opening joke shops in New Orleans, Salem, Paris, Amsterdam, Hamburg, and St. Petersberg.

It was the proposition of cheating death that amazed readers and writers alike. Eventually these same publications he advertised in began asking for interviews. George, ever the showman, always obliged. One such story ran in the Salem News.

March 1st, 1999

...George Weasley, owner of the world famous joke shop Weasley's Wizard Wheezes in London, is a well known prankster. We have not yet determined his angle but we are sure that when the World watches April 1st they will find that things are not what they seem. Mr. Weasley has made no pretence at seriousness. When asked what would happen, he claimed with a laugh, "I intend to be struck with the killing curse, leave my body and then to return with a bang." When asked how this could be done he laughed and cheeked, "When you believe in magic anything is possible."

The event will be held at Hogwarts School for Wizards and Witches in Scotland and tickets are in heavy demand. Mr. Weasley rented the Quidditch Pitch for the day and his demonstration shall be preceded by three world famous singing acts. The Zombies, Witch's Brew and the Weird Sisters all plan to play full hour sets beginning at 5 o'clock. George then plans to end the evening with a demonstration that he claims will shock the Wizard World.

ZZZZZZZZZZ

George had come to Harry a month before and announced, "I need two million Galleons, Harry." When Harry asked "what for?" George looked him in the eye and answered, "I can't tell you."

Harry chucked.

George frowned, "I'm serious. I have an idea and it will make us millions. And honestly, Harry, it will be the most fun you've ever had. I need two million to get me started."

"But you can't tell me what for?" Harry asked. George shook his head.

"Why not?"

Ever coy, "Because if I told you 'what for' then you wouldn't lend me the money." Harry tried not to laugh this time but it only caused him to laugh even harder. George didn't flinch, "I am about to do something that no-one has ever done. It will be talked about for years. I am going to create the greatest illusion ever."

Harry wanted to make sure he understood, "You are borrowing the money?"

George nodded.

"And you won't tell me how or when you will pay me back?"

George shook his head, "If it doesn't work out I may not be able to pay you a knut."

"And you just want me to trust your judgement?"

George nodded.

Harry thought to himself for a moment. This was the same George that had built his joke shops from a mere 10,000 Galleon investment and to become a cultural icon in Wizard England. Grown men walked into his shops and were as mesmerised as their children. Harry had no clue what George had planned but if George was up to his usual standard then this would be worth seeing.

Harry had to say the amount out loud again, "Two-millionGalleons?"

George could see that Harry was coming around and the young Weasley's eyes flickered with excitement. "George, do it. I'll ask Gringotts to increase your line to two million. You should have access to it by tomorrow."

George suspected Harry would say yes but he'd never taken his mate for granted. Now that Harry had agreed George's confidence evaporated. Until this moment it had all been a pipe-dream rolling around in his head begging to be done. "Really?" he stammered.

"Of course, George. You are the most creative bloke I know. If you say you can do something spectacular with two million Galleons then it'd be a crime not to let you try. Now go out and do something amazing."

George's first investment was advertising. Then the advertisements created the interest from the writers. Now promoters were calling him asking how they could get acts involved. Every seat was sold out by mid-month.

George's second investment was expansion of the seating for the event. He used the same firm that had expanded the seating for the Quidditch World Cup four years before. The Quidditch pitch was expanded to sixty thousand. With tickets selling for twenty to forty Galleons he had covered his costs for the entire event. What he didn't tell Harry was that half of his cost was for the opening of the shops themselves. If all went as planned, the event would pay for all of the shops' opening costs and all of the costs for advertising, rent of the venue and payment for staff and the bands.

The day of the event Harry watched the pitch from the Astronomy Tower. Only morning classes were in session for the day and he had just finished his lunch. No-one was allowed within one hundred metres of the pitch until the gates opened at four o'clock and the school had already become a circus.

"Harry, we really shouldn't be up here," whined Hermione as she reached the top step. The Astronomy Tower is still off limits.

Harry ignored her, instead he pointed to the Quidditch stadium and concessions that George had set up around it, "Beautiful, isn't it?"

Hermione forgot her complaint at first sight of the grounds below, "Amazing. George did a fantastic job. It's sold out?"

Harry nodded, "And he's offered jobs in the concessions for those with no home to return for Holiday. Hogwarts is offering free room and board but he wants them to have some walking around money. How are we doing with our list?"

Harry and Hermione had cobbled together a list of all of the students and Professors at Hogwarts. They eliminated suspects one by one and crossed them off the list. They referred to this so-called suspect as 'Pat' when around others. Ron and Neville had helped early to keep the project manageable but now it was only Harry and Hermione. The fewer asking questions, the smaller the chance of accidentally tipping off the intuder.

So far they had eliminated all of the students but Pansy Parkinson, Astoria Greengrass, Draco Malfoy and Millicent Bullstrode of Slytherin. Also Susan Bones of Gryffindor, a Revenclaw named Penny Thompson and Justin Jones, the Fifth Year Hufflepuff. They were still trying to eliminate Professors Babbling, Snodgrass and Duncan. Harry grudgingly added Hecate as well and he still was unable to remove her from the list.

"You can take Justin and Penny off the list," Hermione announced excitedly, "they have been sneaking off into one of the classrooms for late night snogfests. They were snogging the night Ron was Imperioused."

Harry was curious, "How do you know?"

"Ron and I caught them snogging last night during rounds. They were so worried about their mums finding out that when I offered to let them off the hook if they answered questions they jumped at it. I asked them where they were the day the intruder attacked Ron and they said they were in the same classroom. We were able to confirm with one of the paintings that they had been sneaking through his corridor for months."

"Good. That leaves us with nine. We need to find someone from Slytherin willing to help. The four of them have to be sneaking off somewhere if they are always missing." Harry considered, "Has it ever bothered you that Wisteria Snodgrass and Astoria Greengrass have such similar names?"

Hermione thought to herself, "Harry that is the most random observation...what does that have to do with any of this?"

They were interrupted by the 'clack, clack, clack' of boots on the steps behind them. Harry turned to find the Headmistress tapping a foot, "I'd be wasting my breath if I reminded you two that this section of the Castle is off limits, wouldn't I?" Harry's shrug would have been returned with a thump to the head had he been any other student. Minerva had grown so fond of the young wizard that his reply merely inspired a chuckle, "Don't be shocked when you find the rest of the world actually requires you to follow the rules."

Hermione excused herself and rushed down the steps. Professor McGonagall joined Harry, "Beautiful day for April," the Professor observed. "Thought I'd come up and take in the view. Lo and behold, I find you here."

"Hermione and I needed a quiet place to speak." Harry changed the subject by gesturing to the Quidditch field., "I'm surprised you allowed this."

"I don't agree with it at all." the Headmaster admitted. "It's a foolish display any way you look at it."

"Then why did you let him do it?"

"I'm certain you are his partner in this," she winked, "so I'm sure you know how much he offered." Harry shrugged and shook his head which caused quite a stir with the Professor, "He didn't tell you? He's rented the Pitch and the surrounding grounds for nearly two hundred thousand Galleons. He insisted it had to be done here. I'd have let him do it for half that but he said we could consider the premium a donation."

"Hopefully you'll put it to good use."

"The repairs due the siege on the school nearly closed out our emergency fund. The Ministry couldn't help – they have problems of their own. We've spent a good amount housing and feeding the students that are destitute as well. A good number of students have lost everything, including their family. There will be at least three dozen that will stay the Summer and Winter holidays. This event will go a long way toward reseeding our emergency fund and providing for those students the next few years."

"How much would complete the journey?" Harry asked. McGonagall didn't quite get the question, "Complete the journey?" he asked again. "How much would pay for the students that are expected to live in the Castle and for their schooling? How much to refill the emergency fund?"

"Harry, I don't have that number in front of me. That is something the Board handles. I am an educator and I administer the day to day. I tell them what I need and they tell me whether it is practical," she explained.

"Please find out. Tom Riddle became what he became partly because he never had the opportunity to learn to love. He felt abandoned year after year when he was forced to return to the orphanage for his Holiday. There is no reason these children should be forced into the same fate. We can talk more once the term ends."

The Professor was conflicted. Harry had already done so much but part of her position was securing donations and she could scarce afford to turn away a willing donor at this time of need, "Are you certain? What am I saying? Of course you are certain. I won't argue Harry."

"I'm going to miss Hogwarts," Harry mused. "It was a refuge for me." "There's no reason why others shouldn't feel the same way."

A few hours later he sat in the stands. Ginny was on one side. Hermione and Ron were on the other. All Hogwarts students received free admission but the trade-off was that they sat furthest from the action. A few days before, when she learned how far back their seats would be, Hermione charmed four sets of Muggle binoculars.

Hermione handed Harry his pair while Ron was using his to look at the crowd, "These are brilliant, Love. I can see the colours of a witch's eyes from across the pitch."

Hermione smacked Ron on the arm, "Witches? Why not wizards?" She knew better than to wait for a response. She had an update for Harry, "I got an idea who can help us find Pat." Harry arched his eyebrows inquisitively. Hermione beamed, "Slughorn. He is Head of House for Slytherin and he can help with the professors as well."

"Do you think that's wise? What if he lets it slip?" asked Harry sceptically.

"Let's what slip? Are you still convinced that Pat is a student?" asked Ginny. Hermione and Harry looked at Ginny curiously. She offered a wry grin, "As if I don't know what you two are going on about all the time. You'd think after all this time you'd feel comfortable speaking freely around me...or asking me to help." She noticed the guilt cloud Harry's face and squeezed his hand, "Oh, Love, I don't take it personally. I'm only saying that sometimes I'd like to be included. It's not like you are hunting Horcruxes."

A blast was heard from the stage below and the show began with a round of fireworks and a drum solo. As the drummer banged away at this hardware, the rest of the Zombies charged the stage and tore through a song as metal driven as any in the magic world. Harry wasn't a fan but it was bearable. The audience cheered madly as the guitarist blasted through his chords and screamed out verse after verse. The only truly difficult moment for Harry was during the last song when the guitarist screeched out a note so loud that Harry had to cover his ears.

Soon after that, Witch's Brew made their way to the stage and Harry began to cheer for his mates. Hazel and her band were not as loud or frenetic as the Zombies but their unique sound was a favourite with the crowd. Hazel played through a riff midway through their set that had everyone mesmerised and at the end of her solo the crowd erupted in a roar that had Harry proud for the young witch. "You regret not taking Hazel up on that offer for Valentine's?" Ginny screamed over the crowd. Harry didn't respond but pulled her firmly to him and kissed her soundly. Harry could hear Ron shout, "Arrgh! Harry!" Ginny felt woozy as Harry's lips left hers. He asked the weak-kneed witch, "What do you think?"

For just over a decade the Weird Sisters had been the gold standard when it came to music in the magic world. By now the stadium was full to the gills with audience young and old. Three loud bongs informed the crowd that the Weird Sisters were opening with the hit that had made them famous. Their music was so original and unique that there was no real way to describe it. A throng of different sounds filled the air and for just more than an hour the band hypnotised the audience. Then they ended it all with everyone's favourite, Angler's Glory.

By now, the sun had fully set and the crowd was ready for the main event. The Weird Sisters had already left the stage and eyes wandered everywhere looking for a clue as to what was to follow. They weren't disappointed. George stepped up and pulled out his wand. He pointed high up into the stands and with each flick a light shined brightly onto the pitch. Once the lights flooded the field, he addressed the crowd from the stage.

He whispered, "Sonorous" and then, "Good evening everyone! Are you enjoying yourselves?" The crowd roared back its approval. "Lovely," So far everything was going as planned.

A week before, the six new Weasley Wheezes had been opened worldwide with huge Grand Openings. George had sold tickets to the event and provided free port-keys from the Wheezes to Hogwarts the afternoon of the event. This, of course, provided a second infusion of customers. George made the ultimate bet – he used all of the proceeds from the tickets sales to pay for extra inventory in every shop.

But to George it wasn't a bet. George was amongst the most knowledgeable in all of Wizard England when it came to business. He knew he would sell out because he knew. In fact, before he went on stage he was informed that all of the shops had indeed been packed that day and many of the products sold out – especially the pranks that he had provided specifically for April Fool's Day. Weasley's Wizard Wheezes had a very good week and if his estimates were correct, a hefty profit of nearly 10 Million Galleons was made between the receipts at the gate, concessions and the profits from each of the shops for the past two weeks. Best of all, today's traffic in the shops came on a weekday during the school year.

So when he stepped on stage it was with a huge smile. The crowd could feel the spark of magic all around the pitch and when he spoke the applause that had initially erupted came to an abrupt halt. "Well then, let's get started with the finale." He became serious, "As some of you now know, I am a prankster by heart. Unlike Muggles, all of us are wizards, or magicians as they might call us. Before I start I want to make one thing clear."

"What I am about to perform is as much illusion as it is magic. I assure you that if you try what I do tonight, you will surely die. All the same, the illusion is so simple yet so genius that I assure you that you will leave tonight feeling that every Galleon spent was worth it. All I ask is that you please do not try this at home – especially the children and thrill seekers. I promise you that there is a very simple explanation for what I am about to do and it is something that I am absolutely sure none of you..." he paused, "...NONE of you can accomplish. The circumstances are quite unique."

Silence filled the arena, "Well then, now that I have brought everyone down...What say we get on with this?" The crowd cheered.

"We first must choose a volunteer. Since there can be only one volunteer we must make sure that he or she is someone that you, the audience, feels is reliable. The qualifications are thus: You must not directly know me! You must be of age! You must be willing to cast a killing curse...and accept the consequences if all goes wrong and I do not return to my body!" He now held up three fingers.

"I have secured a document from the Minister for Magic that will indemnify you if for some reason something should go horribly wrong. In fact, Minister Shacklebolt is the only wizard other than me who has knowledge how I plan to pull this off...it was the only way he'd agree. I am also required to mention that the Minister objects to treating death and the killing curse in such a light manner. I assure you all that I do not take death lightly. I am actually a tiny bit scared that something will go wrong but I have faith in myself and those that have helped me carry this out."

So, let's get started! What I would like first is for each section to choose a volunteer. Your section number is on your ticket. You have ten minutes to discuss amongst yourselves. I don't care how your section decides but someone must be here on stage from your section in 12 minutes or your section will not be eligible!" This was George's biggest concern. The illusion itself would be simple. Choosing a volunteer everyone would believe in would be difficult. He hoped not to get bogged down.

While the sections chose he paid close attention to the section dedicated to different publications and the Wizard Wide Network. Lee, of course, had gotten the assignment at WWN due to George being his best mate. It was expected that this would be one of the top rated single wizard radio shows in decades! Lee had already become a household name in England but the publicity from this would take him worldwide. It had been decided that all of the Wizarding networks would piggyback off of Lee's show. What George did not want was a lot of boring filler so during the twelve minutes the Weird Sisters were brought back on stage to play a new song for the first time that was due for release within the week.

Twelve minutes later, less than a quarter of the sections had decided but George called out "Time!" Entire sections groaned which caused him to smile, "I'm happy to know the rest of you are not sure whom you'd fancy to have kill me. As it is we have thirteen aspiring murderers here on stage. Now we are going to ask each why they'd like to cast the curse and if they feel they can go through with it. After we finish, you the crowd will decide by applause who will get the opportunity!"

And that is what George did. He asked each volunteer why they'd like to try the killing curse on George and whether they could carry it out. Some answers were humorous and some were disturbing. Harry imagined that the Aurors in attendance took notes when a few of the prospects answered.

Harry thought the best answer came from a young wizard who announced, "I want to do it because I know this is going to be brilliant. I want to be near you so I can see genius up close." He ended up being one of the finalists. He lost to a writer who answered, "I want to do it because I want to know first hand that this is legitimate. Then I can write to my readers about how it felt." The writer's name was Scott Sands and he was with The Salem News. Harry had never heard so much applause in his life during the final vote – it was louder than the applause at the World Quidditch Cup he'd attended with the Weasleys.

Once the Volunteer was chosen George brought out his wand and with a flourish a whirlwind came out from the sky and took away the stage. As the cyclone evaporated, George stood on the well manicured grass of the pitch no more than twenty feet from the man who would soon strike him dead. The sun had fallen below the horizon a good half hour before and it quickly began to cool off. George was in Muggle clothing – a pair of trousers and a casual jumper but he was still shivering. Harry could tell through his binoculars that George was nervous. He wondered if George was having second thoughts whether whatever he had up his sleeve would work.

Then before Harry knew it, George set everything in motion, "Are you ready, Mr. Sands?" He got a nod. On the count of three I want you to do it. And don't halfway do it. Sixty thousand spectators expect you to give it your best." George counted off with his hand, "One! Two! Three!"

"Avada Kedavra!" shouted the reporter as he pointed his wand at George. From his wand blazed a green flash that hit George square in the chest. He fell back a few feet and his body flopped to the ground. At first everyone stood in silence. They waited for something to happen but nothing did. Wizards and witches began to speak nervously amongst themselves in the silence. Mr. Sands looked all around him worried – he had not thought he'd actually kill George. Harry heard a wail that he was sure came from Molly.

It was soon apparent that George had not designated someone to look after his body if something went wrong. Madam Pomfrey came running onto the pitch with a few Professors but before they could get to the centre, a brilliant silvery silhouette of a ghost shot out of George's body and flew around the pitch. Madam Pomfrey was so surprised she stopped in her tracks and backtracked until she tripped and fell on her bum.

The spirit made a round of the pitch and flew faster than Harry had ever flown on his broom. "Ohhh myyy!" announced the spirit, "This is much more liberating than plodding around in that great hunk of flesh we call a body! I could spend eternity like this!" He flew through sections of witches and wizards and they could see clearly that the ghost speaking to them was certainly a happier, peppier George. He performed flips and somersaults before them. Everyone watched as he made his way around the crowd...just over everyone's head...and showed the lust for excitement that attracted everyone to him.

"I must admit that now I am here!" he pointed to himself, "I don't know if I want to go back into there! Who wants to be tied to the ground when you can do all of this?" At that he took a spinning dive for the ground but broke back skyward just in time to miss splattering into the grass. Harry was shocked there was any air left in the stadium as the crowd sucked in a collective breath.

"Can anyone give me one good reason why I should return to that body with all of its limitations?" asked the spirit with a laugh.

Strangely, there was silence. No-one could think of a good reason. That is, until his mum shouted at the top of her lungs, "GEORGE WEASLEY! GET BACK IN THAT BODY THIS INSTANT OR SWEAR I WILL..."

"Oy! Mum! I'm going...I'm going!" cried out the ghost. He made one last circle of the crowd grumbling just loud enough for the audience to hear, "Blimey, a bloke can't even perform one..."

"GEORGE WEASLEY!"

"Yes Mum..." Nervous laughter escaped from the crowd.

George finished his victory lap and hovered ten metres over his body, "I know this is going to sound childish but I need all of your help. On the count three I would appreciate if you would take your wand, raise it in the air and shout, 'Sicut Erat!'" At least a third of the crowd waved their wands high in the air. It was time.

"One! Two! THREE!"

Those waving their wands shouted "SICUT ERAT!" and from their wands shot a red flash high into the sky. Each flashed like red lighting. At the same time, George dove towards his carcass and this time instead of pulling back up he shot directly into the lifeless body. The crowd had been distracted by the flashes but when they heard the gasp for air from George below he again became the centre of attention. He sat up. His eyes bulged and he held his throat as if he couldn't breathe. He was blue and shivering. Finally he coughed out a gasp and breathed in. He called for help but his voice was laboured, "Please, Madam Pomfrey...Mr. Sands, come help me up." If not for the Sonorous Charm no-one would have heard him.

Mr. Sands and Madam Pomfrey came running but Madam Pomfrey refused to let him stand until she checked him over. Content he wouldn't collapse, she and the writer helped him to his feet. Mr. Sands also had not removed his Sonorous Charm so the audience heard when he exclaimed, "Merlin's Beard! You're freezing!"

George just nodded. Again with laboured breath he announced, "Thank you all for coming. I hope that you enjoyed yourselves. I am going to spend some time in the Infirmary if you don't mind. Witch's Brew will play a short encore and then this lovely evening shall come to a close. Thank you so much for attending. Did you enjoy yourselves?"

The applause indicated a resounding, "YES!"

"Then I bid you all a good night," and he limped off the pitch with the help of Madam Pomfrey and Scott Sands of the Salem News. But before he stepped out the gate he turned and flourished his wand and the cyclone returned with the stage and placed it as it was.

Ginny was the first to ask, "How did he do it?"

The entire stadium was full of people who asked the very same question. Harry had a clue of how it might have been done but he wasn't sure. He only had some of the pieces. But then again, he knew more than the others. Harry knew what inspired George to return to his work and why he wanted to buy Honeydukes. What he did not know was the mechanics of how George had made it all work.

They didn't bother to sit through the encore. Instead they made their way to the stadium entrance so they could meet up with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley before heading back to Gryffindor Tower. It didn't take long before Arthur and Molly could be seen and Ron waved his hand to get their attention. The annoyed father and red eyed mum did not look at all entertained by the performance of their son. Ron asked if they were headed home.

"No, first we are going to check on him in the infirmary. If he's all right then I'm going to kill him," claimed Molly. The sniggers did not withstand Mrs. Weasley's glare. "Do you know how worried I was? Such a foolish, thoughtless, selfish act." The group did not dare disagree with her. That said, Harry had thought the entire thing brilliant. Ginny and Ron had enough confidence in their brother to know he wouldn't take unnecessary risks. Still no-one knew how he'd done it.

Molly and Arthur rounded them up and the six of them headed over to the infirmary together. Madam Pomfrey agreed to let Molly in but the rest had to wait outside. Moments later shouts were heard and Madam Pomfrey came running out, "She's mad I tell you! I asked her to calm down and she sent a stinging curse after me. Told me to clear out!"

Ten minutes later a red faced witch stormed out. "I hope your children turn out just like you! Twins at that!" she back before she slammed the door.

Arthur cringed when she addressed him, "You know what your son says? He says he can't tell me how he did it. Can't even offer me peace of mind so I can sleep knowing he won't be dead in the morning. He says that we are to meet him here tomorrow – all of us – and he will tell us then. Can you imagine the cheek of that boy? Your son is lucky I didn't leave him with a few select stinging curses on the way out," she said as she glared sidelong at Madam Pomfrey.

Harry could see a full head of steam coming and he didn't want to be there when it burst out, "Well, we should be getting back to the Tower," he mumbled, "It'll be Curfew soon and Hermione and Ron need to make sure the younger ones get back safely." Hermione and Ron couldn't agree fast enough. Ginny hugged her mum as fast as she could and said her goodbyes. The others followed. They had done so just in time because when they were safely outside of talking distance they heard the steam blast out. "THAT BOY OF YOURS..."

"Happy I'm not him," mused Ginny. The other three nodded agreement.

"How did he do it?" asked Ron.

"I don't know" Ginny answered. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow night."

"Agreed," mused Harry.

Ginny eyed Hermione suspiciously, "You know, don't you?"

Hermione shuffled her feet, "I don't know for sure but I think I have an idea. Actually, a few ideas. They didn't come to me until we spoke to your mum."

"Tell us then!" begged Ginny.

"No, I'll let George have his fun. Besides, if I'm correct then George should tell you," Hermione answered.

A/N: So, how did George do it? I know. Do you? If you haven't reviewed a chapter yet then please review this one.