Dan and I are sitting on the floor at his flat, him watching as I play Skyrim. There's an apple juice box balanced precariously on top of my boobs, and I use my mouth to try and keep it from falling.
"That is a disaster waiting to happen," he says, staring at my chest.
"Shut up!" I exclaim, my voice slightly muffled by the straw in my mouth. "And stop staring at my boobs." He blushes a little bit and turns his attention back to the screen.
"Nonononononono! Don't go in there! That's where the dragon went!" It's too late and I shrug, continuing on my way into the cave. Everything seems fine until the dragon appears out of nowhere, startling me. I scream and jump up, spilling my juice all over my shirt.
"HOLY FUCK! Where did that come from?" Dan can't answer as he's too busy laughing, either at my reaction or my juice covered shirt. "It's not funny!" I stick my lower lip out at him and he stops laughing. Instead, he stands up and holds out a hand to pull me up with, leading me into his room.
"Come on; let's get you a new shirt." I follow him and he throws me a random t-shirt, one with cats on it. After making him leave, I switch my shirt.
"This smells like boy!" I tell him, joining him in the hallway. He starts to laugh again. "It's not funny!"
"No, of course not, sorry. But you do look adorable in my clothes! Why don't we get you a lollipop?"
"Kay!" He takes a watermelon flavored lollipop from the bowl by the door and unwraps it, sticking it in my mouth.
"Dan! Those are for the children!" Phil yells from the kitchen.
"Sarah is a children!" I nod enthusiastically. "Oh, shit! We have to put our costumes on!"
Dan and I change into our costumes he's going as Slenderman and I'm going as Lara Croft. He takes forever on his hair, whereas I just braid mine.
"Come on! Your hair is fine!" I tell him, exasperated. That boy spends way too much time on his hair.
"No it's not! Do you see this curl?" He yells, pointing to a tiny bit of hair that wasn't straight before attacking it with the flat iron.
"You take longer to do your hair than it takes me to pick out my clothes."
"You take that back!"
"Never!" He lunges for me, brandishing the flat iron like a sword, but I run out of the bathroom. He tries to chase me but ends up pulling the cord out of the wall.
"See, look! It's a sign! Now come on, I want candy!" He reluctantly follows me outside into the cool October air, and we go door to door getting candy from slightly startled looking adults.
At one house, a bratty little boy in a Thor costume takes the last bag of Maltesers, and Dan flips his shit.
"Give me those!" He yells, ripping the bag from the kid's hands.
"Dan!" I exclaim, looking from him to the boy in shock.
"I hope you enjoy them, creepy old weirdo!" The boy yells, and kicks Dan in the shin before running off to his mom.
"You can't just take candy from little boys! Holy shit, run, run, run, run!" I pull Dan with me and sprint down the road.
"Why are we running?" He asks. I point behind us where the boy's tough looking mother was chasing us brandishing her son's plastic Thor hammer. "Shit shit shit! Why did I do that?"
"I don't know! Why did you do that?"
"I guess I get a bit passionate about my Maltesers!" I shove him into a bush and dive in after him while the mom is looking away. We breathe heavily and Dan rips open the stolen Malteasers, shoving a few in his mouth. I give him a look. "What?" I just shake my head and dig into his candy, taking a bag of gummy bears out and opening them with my teeth. "Hey those are mine, bitch!"
"If you can steal from children, I can steal from you!" He pouts and I make a show of eating my candy.
"Do you think she's gone?" I poke my head out from the bush and see that she's nowhere in sight.
"She's gone." Dan crawls out of the bush and pulls me up.
"Maybe we should just go home."
"Fine. But can we watch the Exorcist?" He laughs and ruffles my hair.
"Of course!" When we get to within thirty feet of Dan and Phil's flat, we see the boy and his mother at their door, getting candy from Phil.
"OH MY GOD WHAT IS PHIL DOING THAT CHILD IS THE DEVIL!" Dan whisper-yells to me. I giggle.
"All he did was kick you! And you did steal his Maltesers…" I remind him as we make our way through the backyards of the neighbors.
"I thought we were over this!" We enter their flat through the back door and get changed out of our costumes. I put Dan's cat shirt back on and a pair of sweatpants I had taken to keeping here and meet him back in the living room, where he had set up the movie. With a content sigh, I collapse next to him on the couch, pulling a peanut butter cup out of my candy bag and leaning on him. He reaches around me and steals a pack of Maltesers.
"Rude!" I scold, hitting him on the shoulder.
"You don't even like Maltesers!" He defends himself, opening the bag.
"But it's the morality of the situation! Theft is wrong. I should call 911."
"That's not even the emergency line here!"
"If you get all my Maltesers I get all your peanut butter cups!" He looks at me as if pretending to ponder this deal, then holds out his hand.
"Fine." I take it and we shake on it before starting up the movie.
Somewhere in the middle, I end up with my head in his lap as he plays with my hair absentmindedly. I drift off into a deep sleep as screams from the TV fill the room.