Smokey Joe

It terrifies me, this quiet siege...

A songless robin...

One of the first things Kurenai had done on discovering that she was pregnant was to ask the mothers of her two male students what childbirth was like. She had barraged Tsume Inuzuka and Chihiro Aburame with questions. Would it hurt? How long would labour take? What were the midwives like at Konoha Hospital? How would she feel afterwards? How would she know when the baby was coming? Should she breastfeed or bottle feed? (Tsume was very insistent about that. "D you even have to ask? You've got to breastfeed, love, no question about it, it's what the gods gave us tits for. Hell, dogs do it.") The one person she didn't ask was Hiashi; not just because he was a man, but because it was a painful subject for him, and she still hadn't quite forgiven him for how he'd treated Hinata.

Hinata Hyuuga. That girl had been her rock. The three of them had been great, and they were all growing up and she was proud of them, but it had been Hinata who'd been over whenever she'd had free time, first on the pretext of training and then, when Kurenai was too big to spar, on no pretext at all. She'd been full of questions about the baby, offering to dig up any old toys or clothes that she and Hanabi might have left, or perhaps scrounge a few from other Hyuugas whose kids were growing up, or any spare weapons for the baby to practice with when it was old enough. She'd talked to Ino and Sakura, both of whom had studied under the Hokage, though only Sakura knew about delivering babies. Shikamaru had been round too, but Kurenai knew it was mainly because of Asuma and whatever he'd said to Shikamaru that day. Hinata, however, was coming specifically because of Kurenai. Kurenai did not need to ask why.

Hinata was there when Kurenai went into labour. Kurenai had been sent home from the hospital recently after she'd thought the baby was coming. This time, however, Kurenai was taking no chances. With Hinata keeping a watchful eye on her, she packed a few things, and the two of them went to Konoha Hospital, Hinata steadying Kurenai whenever her ankles went. She was booked in, assigned a muscular blonde Inuzuka midwife who introduced herself as Hachiko - "don't worry about my dog, he knows he's not to follow me around when I'm working" - and found herself in a one-person ward, bare except for a bed, a bedside table for personal items, a couple of chairs. "Call if you need me," Hachiko said, and left her to her own devices. For want of anything else to do, she stripped off and changed into her nightdress. She lay down on her bed and tried to sleep, but the contractions woke her up.

Outside, the sky was the colour of slate, and the rain battered remorselessly against the window. Kurenai wondered what to do next.

I thought I'd better double check to make sure Sensei had everything, so I made a dash back to her house and let myself in with the spare key she'd given me. I hesitated, and then began to rummage through her drawers, her personal stuff. I told myself, get over yourself, Hinata, Sensei needs you. What was it you were supposed to bring pregnant women? What would she need? Think, Hinata, think. Spare knickers. A yukata. I couldn't find any nighties, she must have packed one. Next, the bathroom. She'd brought her toothbrush with her, I figured, since there wasn't one there. I grabbed some facial wipes – she'd normally use these to take her make-up off, maybe? She might need them. I stuffed everything into my bag and dashed out into the rain. To Hell with the weather. She needs me.

Kurenai sat on the edge of her bed, wincing at the throbbing pain in her back. When the pain got too much, she heaved herself up and walked around in circles.

There was a knock at the door, and Hachiko entered, with a bedraggled teenage girl in tow, carrying a satchel. The girl's blue-black hair was clinging to her face in strands, and her lilac parka was soaked through.

"Someone here to see you," Hachiko said with a grin. "She said you might have forgotten some things."

"I hope you don't mind, Sensei," said Hinata, "but I went back to your place in case you might need any extra things." She opened her satchel, and began to empty it out into the drawer of the cabinet next to Kurenai's bed. She hung the towel on a hook on the wall.

"Hinata, you're a lifesaver," said Kurenai, and then doubled over in pain. Hachiko sniffed the air, and Hinata activated her Byakugan.

I could see it. The second chakra network...and it was moving downwards.

Kurenai exhaled loudly and doubled over.

"You'd better go now," said Hachiko to Hinata, but Kurenai held up her hand and said, "No. Let her stay."

Hachiko raised an eyebrow.

"I want her here," Kurenai repeated. "Please. I want her here."

"Are you sure, Sensei?" Hinata asked. "I can go if -" But Kurenai doubled over in pain again, and Hachiko rushed off, calling, "Be right back, just got to get you kitted out," and returned barely a moment later with a hospital gown and gloves for Hinata.

I slipped the gown over my jacket and put the gloves on as the midwife asked me to, but I was puzzled. "What are the gloves for?" I asked. "Hygiene?"

"Don't your lot do the thing with the pressure points?" asked the midwife, and I wondered what in the world she was talking about. And then it hit me. Sensei was in pain. Perhaps, if I massaged her pressure points with my Byakugan activated, it might ease her pain a little.

Didn't women normally give birth on their backs with their legs open? But Tsume had said that she'd squatted on all fours, and Chihiro had said that that was what the medics preferred, less trouble for them that way, but some women gave birth kneeling or on their side or even standing up, oh gods the contractions were getting worse now, it was coming, this was it, this was the real thing...she was a kunoichi, a jounin, she should be used to pain, but it hurt so much...it was coming...and he wasn't here...he was dead, he was ashes...he wasn't here...

"Asuma!" Kurenai screamed. "Asuma! Asuma!"

Sensei was standing there, screaming his name, over and over, while the midwife knelt on the floor and encouraged her to push, and I stood behind her, massaging the pressure points in her back, reaching around to her belly.

"Don't give up, Sensei," I shouted over her screams. "Don't give up! It's my ninja way, and it should be yours too! You can do it!"

These silken rubber gloves, on her back, her abdomen, her stomach. How did Hinata know what to do? Kurenai squatted, and began to bear down in spite of the pain.

"You're dilating!" bellowed Hachiko. "I can see it!"

Kurenai heard a woman screaming.

She realised those screams were hers.

But oh gods, it hurt so much. It was worse than period pain and every training injury she'd ever received put together. This thing was tearing her apart. It was going to rip her in two, she was going to crack open like an egg, like a fissure in the ground when the Fifth punched it, she could have sworn she felt something tear down there...

"GetitoutgetitoutgetitoutgetitOUT!"

"Don't give up, Sensei!"

Hachiko's hands were between her legs. Hinata laid her own body against Kurenai's back, her arms around her sensei's shoulders, murmuring gentle words of encouragement.

I say whatever thing pops into my head. Poor Sensei. It'll be OK, Sensei. Hang in there. Hang in there. You're strong. I always looked up to you. You're a strong woman. Gods, it all sounds so awkward. I was trying not to cry myself. Partly because I couldn't bear to see Sensei in pain, partly because I was so frightened she might end up like Mother – not that I would have said this, the last thing she needed was that to worry about - and partly because I remembered her at Asuma's funeral, and she hadn't been showing much then, but all three of us knew she was pregnant. Shino, Kiba and I had all stood behind her as she'd placed the flowers on his grave.

And there it was, sliding out of her, with Hachiko's careful hands guiding it. First the head, then the shoulders, right down to the feet, and it was out. It was over.

Everything was a blur. Two pairs of hands were guiding her to the bed, and this little slimy wet thing was being wiped down by Hachiko, and then it was in her arms and Hachiko was saying, "Here you go, love. Here's your little boy."

My little boy. My son. Mine.

"You did it, Sensei," cried Hinata, "you did it," and both women burst into tears.

"Hinata," said Kurenai, "thank you. Thank you so much."

"I want to be his mentor," said Hinata through her tears. "I'm going to help you bring him up, Sensei. I'm going to help you train him."

"Hinata," said Kurenai, squeezing her former student's hand, "I would be more than happy for you to be a mentor for my son. If everything you've done today is anything to go by, he'll be in good hands."

Hand in hand, the two women sat in silence. Eventually, Hinata got up.

I'd better go and let the boys know. Shino and Kiba are going to be so happy when I tell them. I'll be back later, Sensei. Rest up. You've earned it.

How the roles had been reversed. Here was Hinata, stroking her hair and kissing her and telling her to get some rest. If only Hiashi could see her now, Kurenai thought.

After Hinata left, Kurenai lay back and stared listlessly at the window. The rain battered against the glass. There would be visitors later, her old students, maybe a few Sarutobi clan members, but for now, she was alone, her parents and brother long dead, and her son without a father.

The baby began to wail.

He should have been here, she thought, and the tears came again, trickling down Kurenai's face and onto her son's downy head.