Santana emptied half a bag of chips beside the sandwich she had just made and placed it on the island, biting her lip as she prepared everything. She wasn't an idiot, Charlie had every right to be annoyed with her and even though her wife had some pretty—cruel things to her, she would deal with that later. Right now, she just wanted some things back to normal. She wanted her wife back. She arranges the chips slightly making sure that they weren't touching the sandwich. She crinkles her nose at the monstrosity in front of her. Pastrami, salami, and tons of bacon with various cheeses. As far as she was concerned it was a heart attack waiting to happen, but this was an emergency and her marriage was on the line.

She bites her lip and glances at the perfectly set meal and then at the time. Charlie had said noon, and it was already ten minutes' past. Her wife hated being late to things. Maybe she wasn't coming. Or maybe she was at a divorce lawyer's right now—Santana tilts her head at the sound of the garage door opening and she quickly moves to see Charlie kicking off her shoes into the mud room before carrying her duffel bag and a few plastic bags. She swallows when their eyes meet for a moment. "Uh—hey."

"Hey."

"I made you lunch," Santana says lamely leading Charlie over to the sandwich and pointing at it.

Charlie follows her wife and places her duffel bag and the bags beside her, she studies the sandwich for a moment before taking a seat. "You're trying to butter me up."

"Guilty," Santana shrugs grabbing a glass and pouring Charlie some water. "I just—we need to talk."

"We do," Charlie agrees popping a chip in her mouth. "You know that fancy yogurt that you buy? The one that disappears?"

Santana narrowed her eyes at this, she already knew where this was going. "Yes?"

"You know how I say that it's totally Bela? I lied. It's me. I eat your yogurt."

"And you blame it on Bela?"

"The whole point of having kids Santana is to blame them for stuff, and to get free child labor, and so that they will take care of you in your old age. That's why we had kids, I'm only doing my parental duties." Charlie says defensively.

Santana rolled her eyes and studied her wife who was picking at the chips, "And I'm guessing you don't actually go to the gym that we spend a fortune on?" When Charlie flashes her a smile she sighs, "Of course not, that was a silly question."

"It's not like you've noticed," Charlie points out and shrugs, she hesitates for a moment. "It's not that difficult—you know telling you the truth."

"You're only telling me the truth now because I have a bigger truth to tell and you want to squeeze in everything because you know I can't be upset with you," Santana accuses and Charlie only smiles. Of course, that was the case. "Look, let me just begin by saying I should have told you. This isn't the same as you not going to the gym, or you know blaming our kids for stuff that you do. If I were in your shoes—I would probably be questioning everything I knew. Whether everything was built on a lie—whether you loved me."

"Do you? Love me that is?"

There was a note of desperation in Charlie's voice, she would believe anything and everything she said. "Of course, I do, how could you even—?"

"Because you couldn't trust me to tell me. Yeah sure, maybe not before our marriage, but I mean after Bela was born would have been a decent time to spring it on me. While I had a baby in my hands and tears running down my face looking at the life that we created. You could have told me you murdered someone and I'd bankrupt us keeping us out of jail or at the very least move our family to a non-extradition country."

Santana raised a brow, "If I told you that I did porn while you were holding Bela, you would have dropped her. Also, your first thought wouldn't have been that's nice—look at the cute little baby, it would have been are you saying that you cheated on me?" Santana held up her hands, "I quit doing porn soon after I met you."

"When you say soon?"

"It was after our first date." Santana admits truthfully.

Charlie crinkles her nose in disbelief, their first date had been awkward and it hadn't ended well. "Our first date was a disaster. We got food poisoning, I didn't think you'd call me ever again."

"I didn't think I was going to call you either, but I did, people have first dates all the time and most of them end badly. So, I tried again and it was well worth it. I mean I can't pinpoint when I fell in love with you Charlie but I did. And I was scared to lose it, I mean it was everything. I was scared to lose you, I was scared that it would have gotten out thus ruining any career I would have had. I mean I wasn't like a super popular actress by any means—"

"You made a lot of videos."

Santana bit her lip, she had to wonder how many Charlie had watched, but it was a question for another time. "Yeah because that's how I got paid. I mean I was promised thousands of dollars for a scene, but it only ended up being three hundred bucks per scene. Plus, I had to go through all the STD testing and I was barely making ends meet, which is why I started going to events, well an event. The one I met you was my first one, and even if I hadn't met you it was definitely going to be my last. I never looked back, the only thing I regret is doing the porn to begin with, to a degree. We may never have met if I hadn't."

Charlie picked up another chip and placed in her mouth chewing it carefully. "Okay. I don't see what that has to do with our sex life. I mean you're brutally honest about everything, if I couldn't satisfy you then why weren't you just honest with me. Even if you hadn't told me about the porn, the sex part we could have fixed."

Santana sighed, "Because I realized that porn ruined my expectations in sex. You're not a porn star, expecting us to have sex like we're doing a porn shoot is—it's not what I want. The thing is you're good at sex, at least the mechanics of it. But there's more to sex than just the mechanics, and if I was anyone else, I'd be more than satisfied."

Charlie made a face at this. "But you're not satisfied. So, the question is what do you want to do about it, what can I do about it? Do you want me to be rougher? I don't know should I call you names or something?"

Santana flicked her eyes over Charlie, the thought of Charlie taking charge during sex made her swallow hard. Something that she had wanted before, but could never ask. She had always been terrified that Charlie would somehow find out about her porn career. "Can you be rougher? I mean actually rough Charlie?"

"I don't think I can slap my dick across your face," Charlie responds dryly. "But I mean—I can spank your ass or whatever. I mean I would have if I didn't think you would murder me for doing it."

"And what if I wanted to spank your ass?" Santana challenges, raising a brow. "What if I wanted to be rough with you. What if I wanted to be in charge as well?"

Charlie glanced around the house that had been tastefully decorated by Santana, "You're already in charge Santana. If you wanted to put me in handcuffs and have your way with me then I'd be game for that. I mean I don't understand, if you wanted kinky sex then why did you always look so angry at me when I suggested kinky things?"

"You suggested anal, once," Santana rolled her eyes.

"You have a lovely ass and I just wanted to show it my appreciation. But you looked like you wanted to murder me. Hence why I dropped all the kinky stuff to begin with."

Santana shook her head. "I don't actually like anal, I did it because it was an extra hundred when I was getting paid. It's work that I don't like doing just to have sex, I mean if you want to do it I mean we can."

Charlie picked up her sandwich and took a bite out of it. "I don't want to do things that you're not comfortable with Santana. That's why I never asked you to do it again."

"But you're fine with doing anything? Even if I wanted to bend you over this counter take a strap on and go to town on you?" Santana watched as Charlie began to cough and gently pushes the glass of water toward her wife. "Yeah it's not—"

"Would it get you off we did that?" Charlie asks before taking a gulp of her water.

"No, because it's not something you're interested in and that's the rub I guess, we have different sexual needs. Do I want you to be a bit rougher when we have sex, yeah but—part of the reason I fell in love with you is because you're gentle and sweet and caring in bed. I'm not interested in doing anything you don't want to do Charlie."

Charlie sighed, they were at an impasse, and she leans down to grab the bags that she had bought and places them on the counter pushing it towards Santana. "I don't know what I like and what I don't like. So maybe we could do that part of the relationship we clearly missed because you didn't feel like you could come to me. Which I guess, it's as much my fault as it is yours."

Santana eyed the bag curiously and glanced at Charlie, "You took it better than I thought you would. Though I'm sure you have plenty of other little tidbits of information that you've kept tucked away that you'll keep on leaking till I get annoyed with you."

"I'm rarely in this position Santana, you end up being right far more often than I would like to admit. So yes, I'm going to enjoy this for the twenty-four hours that you feel guilty." Charlie nudges the bag. "I should go out and buy a sports car."

Santana narrowed her eyes at her wife, "And I no longer feel guilty any more. You're not going to use this as an attempt to spend your money on frivolous things just because you can." When Charlie grins and sits up so she can lean across the table to give her a kiss she pulls back. "You may enjoy those sandwiches Charlie but it does nothing for your breath."

"And she's back," Charlie snorts and reaches for Santana's purse so she can grab a stick of gum. "You're not going to take a look, are you?"

Santana resists the urge to swat Charlie's hand and instead grabs the bag, hoping that it's not jewelry, she loved her wife but she had needed to break her out of getting her pointlessly expensive stuff that she would never wear to anything other than some charity event. She opens the bag and immediately looks up at Charlie. "So, this is why you were late."

"It took me longer to get the nerve to talk to someone about what I wanted, and what the best one was," Charlie admits flushing slightly.

Santana looked at the three bags on the ground, "Did you get nervous and decide to buy the whole store?"

Charlie smiles at Santana. "No, the lady at the counter was just super enthusiastic, you know and suggested a bunch of things to me and I realized that a pair of fuzzy handcuffs wasn't going to cut it anymore. I mean—but we can try some stuff out and if we don't like it then we can just forget about it."

"You do remember that we have kids, right?" Santana reminds Charlie, as she licks her lips and swallows. It had been years since she had seen some of these items.

"Yeah, but I figure that instead of going somewhere we spend our honeymoon week here, you know getting reacquainted—sexually."

Santana looked up at Charlie who wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and she can't help but laugh. When the laughter dies down she immediately frowns slightly and studies the sex toy in the bag in front of her. It was a step, one that she wasn't sure that they should be taking together. It was a dangerous road that they were on. Would Charlie still respect her when she saw it first hand? Or would she simply fetishize her. This was uncharted territory. "Are we okay?"

Charlie hesitates for a moment and looks at Santana for a moment. "I love you, I know that much. I'm not going to pretend that things are perfect right now and we probably shouldn't be having sex. It's not the porn that bothers me, I mean I know we really do need to talk about it. Noah's seen you naked, and we need to know how to deal with it when it eventually comes out. Because now that it's out and now that Noah knows, it'll be a thing. I will admit that I'm more upset that you couldn't tell me. I need to know that there isn't anything else that you're hiding from me. I mean if there's a body—"

"I haven't killed anyone," Santana interrupted, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm just saying, I'll show you the skeletons in my closet if you trust me with yours," Charlie smiled.

"There's nothing else Charlie, I would tell you if there was."

Charlie nods and takes another bite of a chip, "Are you sure there's no body? I mean the stories that Rachel tells—" when Santana scowls at her she swallows loudly and smiles. "Right, no body. Got it."