Scene 3: The Shed
(Lights up in the equipment shed. There are boxes of golf balls and golf bags filled with clubs. Benny is writing in his journal. The shed door opens and the wind blows. Julia enters and closes the door.)
JULIA: Oh hey.
BENNY: Hey
JULIA: I didn't know there was anyone in here.
BENNY: Just me.
JULIA: I wanted to warm up.
BENNY: Me too.
JULIA: That your journal?
BENNY: Yeah?
JULIA: What are you writing?
BENNY: Just stuff.
JULIA: It's cold.
BENNY: Yeah.
JULIA: I wish everyday was a snowday.
(Light changes. Benny reads from his journal.)
BENNY: Julia's hair smells like cupcakes. Her mother owns a bakery, so she must hang around and watch her bake stuff, and I bet her hair absorbs the aromas. One day she smelled like cinnamon bun. I sit behind her in class every chance I can, because I love the way she smells. Julia is the best smelling person I've ever met.
(Lights go back to shed)
JULIA: Your name's Lenny, right?
BENNY: Benny.
JULIA: Right. Benny. I'm Julia.
BENNY: I know, I sometimes sit behind you in class.
JULIA: Oh. You do? Do you get allergies?
BENNY: No. Why?
JULIA: Because I hear you sniffling all the time.
(The shed door swings open. Sound of blizzard. Clifford, Dan, Ken, and Tina-Louise enter and close the door.)
TINA-LOUISE: Hey it looks like a party in here.
DAN: Hope we're not interupting anything.
CLIFFORD: (Chuckles)Heh-heh. Interupting.
TINA-LOUISE: I'm freezing.
KEN: Hi, Julia.
JULIA: Hi, Ken.
KEN: We're going to the pretzel knot later. Wanna come?
JULIA: Maybe.
DAN: Ken's trying to be smooth with the ladies.
CLIFFORD: King of the smoothies.
KEN: Shut up.
TINA-LOUISE: I just got my license. I can drive us.
JULIA: Okay.
DAN: Whassup, Lenny?
BENNY: Benny. My name is Benny.
JULIA: How's the sledding?
CLIFFORD: Awesome! I love sledding!
JULIA: How's your mom, Dan?
DAN: Okay.
TINA-LOUISE: Dan doesn't like to talk about his mom.
(The door opens again. more blizzard sounds Bucky and Franky enter.)
KEN: Hey close the door!
TINA-LOUISE: You're letting a draft in!
BUCKY/FRANKY: Sorry.
CLIFFORD: It's the twins.
EVERYONE: Hello twins.
BUCKY/FRANKY: Hello.
FRANKY: Wow, it's crowded in here.
TINA-LOUISE: If you're twins, how come you don't look alike?
BUCKY: We're fraternal.
EVERYONE: Ahh.
CLIFFORD: What's fraternal mean?
DAN: Why do you dress alike?
BUCKY: Our mother's crazy.
FRANKY: She has obsessive-compulsive disorder.
BUCKY: She makes us dress like this.
FRANKY: She also cleans her ears sixty-eight times a day.
BUCK/FRANKY: We don't like to talk about it.
CLIFFORD: Fraternal twins. That means attached right?
(Again the door opens. sounds of the blizzard. Edythe, Arno, and Vincent squeese in. Vincent has is chameleon.)
VINCENT: Excuse us. Pardon us.
FRANKY: Ow.
ARNO: Sorry.
TINA-LOUISE: Quit pushing me.
EDYTHE:(Fast talking) Oh-My-god-it's-so-crowded-in-here-isn't-it-crowded? I-think-it's-so-crowded.
BUCKY: Gross! Vincent brought his fro in here!
VINCENT: It's not a frog, it's a chameleon.
KEN: Anybody mind if I smoke?
BENNY: I have asthma.
DAN: You're a juvenile delinquent, Ken.
CLIFFORD: Big words are awesome!
(There's a knock at the door)
ARNO: Nobody in here but us chickens! Bock-bock!
(Again door opens, blizzard sounds)
EDYTHE:Oh-gosh-there's-no-room-and-people-keep-squeezing-in! I'm-totally-getting-claustrophobic.
(The all groan and squeese as Doofus, Jenna, and Helen squish their way in.)
DOOFUS: Hello, my royal subjects.
EVERYONE: Hello, King Doofus.
DOOFUS: At ease.
JENNA: It's cold out there.
HELEN: I just beamed Trey Patterson with a snow ball.
ARNO: Why'd you do that?
HELEN: Because he's a freak.
KEN: I think you're a freak.
HELEN: Well I think you're a freak, freak!
KEN: You're the one with the glass eye, freak!
HELEN: Leave my glass eye alone!
TINA-LOUISE: I think you're both freaks.
BUCKY: Gross! That lizard is starring at me!
VINCENT: His name is Jorge.
BENNY: I can't breath.
TINA-LOUISE: Does anyone think Trey Patterson is recluse?
CLIFFORD: What's a recluse?
VINCENT: Emily Dickinson was a recluse.
EDYTHE: Recluse-means-poet?
DOOFUS: Perhaps Trey is a descendant of Emily Dickinson.
FRANKY:Someone's stepping on my foot!
VINCENT: Did you know that almost all of Emily Dickinson's poems could be sung to the tune of yellow rose of texas?
BUCKY:(sunh to yellow rose of texas) Because I could not stop for death-he kindly stopped for me-
EVERYONE:(joining in) The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality.
DAN: Hey that's cool.
CLIFFORD: Poetry is awesome.
(They all stand in silence. Someone sniffs.)
HELEN: Awwwww, No.
EDYTHE: Oh-gosh-someone-let-one-go!
TINA-LOUISE: Ewwwwwwwww.
(Assorted sounds of disgust.)
DAN: Was that you Lenny?
BENNY: My name is Benny.
DOOFUS: Sorry, folks. Breakfast burritos.
JENNA: I'm outta here.
(the door flies open. sound of blizzard as they all exit quickly and the lights fade.)