The planet wasn't that different than all the others he'd visited during his time with SG-13. He guessed it wasn't all that different to all those he'd visited before that with the then SG-1. However, this one had a vital difference. The people were strongly telepathic. The two that met them near the Gate had taken only a moment to know they were peaceful explorers seeking allies and help in their fight against the Goa'uld. The natives were happy enough to welcome them into their city and discuss ways they might be of assistance. It was a nice change.
SG-13 rapidly concluded their part in the deliberations and were preparing to turn the rest over to the diplomatic corps, but before they could leave one of the natives approached Teal'c. "We are troubled with the hole in your mind," it told Teal'c. "This, we feel, is a difficult thing to live with. We believe we could reach beyond it and find for you the answers you seek." It was an offer he would not refuse and one General Hammond was only too happy to allow him to accept as well. The answers he had sought for almost a year were finally exposed.
He shut his eyes against the onslaught of memories and emotions washing into his mind and lay trembling in their wake for a few moments. Then slowly his mind began to see the pattern and weave of his life. His childhood, his prim'ta, the death of his father, his training with Bray-tac, his service to Apophis, his wife's love, and the feel of his son in his arms. And through them all the niggling doubts and growing suspicions which had undermined his faith until one day his disbelief had caused him to turn his back on all he loved and follow a stranger through the chaapa'ai. O'Neill. He'd lived not one lifetime but two in the past he now remembered as though it had never been wiped from his mind.
He gathered himself together and rose to his feet. He inclined his head to the native in recognition of all it had restored to him. Words would have been redundant. Then he returned through the Gate to bring the general news he had long awaited.
It raised as many questions as it answered. SG-1 had been alive and uninjured when the memory device had been used against Teal'c. Though their lives had been threatened, Teal'c had been spared. Could they therefore assume the others had as well? If they were, had they, too, been sent through the Gate to unknown destinations or were they still being held on the planet? Now that a means to counteract their memory wiping was available weren't they duty bound to try to reach the team and bring them home?
Hammond made a strong case before those over him to get the go-ahead for which he'd been waiting an eternity. He'd already given the nod to all the base thinkers to be developing means to open a buried StarGate. The proposals had been passing his desk ever since Jacob had told them the Gate was down. The first attempt was a failure, the second even more so, but the third was the proverbial charm. Whoever had buried the Gate had left nothing to chance, but they eventually were able to break through and open the wormhole. Jacob arrived to join the rescue team before the work crew had managed to dig out the Gate and raise it back in place. For once the message had been delivered in time.
(Note to Readers: I'm aware last we knew it was fall. Apparently, fall, winter, and spring just sail by on Kylanar, while summer hangs on forever!)
She was sitting on the wooden porch snapping beans into a bowl when they first saw her. Her hair had grown long enough she'd pulled it back into a soft bun though stray wisps framed her face. It wasn't the only change they were able to note, but, even so, they recognized her at once.
She watched them as Traiyana led them up the dusty street to the house. She didn't need to ask who they were. It was clear from their clothing and weapons. They were from the other side of the Circle, from wherever they themselves had once come from. She shook her head against the hopes and fears that rose up in her. Since the battle, she'd dreamed infrequently of the enemy coming back-surging out of the brown soil they'd shoveled in over the Circle, but, more often, coming from the skies. She'd told herself it was only the stuff of nightmares, but perhaps it had been her unconscious mind warning her that burying it wasn't enough. Because, here they were, and if they could come than surely the enemy could as well.
In time, that danger would have to be dealt with, but Traiyana had obviously determined that these strangers were not a threat to Kylanar. But to O'Neill, Jackson, and herself? They held the answers she'd longed for, ached for, and given up hope for when she'd been forced to bury the Circle. She'd struggled for so long to not allow the shadow of their unknown past to darken their present, and she desperately wanted whatever answers these newcomers brought. She did. But. O'Neill had never fully persuaded her that there was nothing to fear in the life they'd lived and forgotten. That there weren't things lurking in the murky waters of their past that would be painfully, shamefully, and, maybe even impossibly hard to face.
Yet still, she'd thought it would be better to know them than not. Until now, when she wondered if it wouldn't be better just to let them lie. Torn between her hope and her fear, she watched their approach silently. Excitement warred with caution, and, in the cross-fire, she was left oddly numb and bone-weary. When they drew to a stop at the bottom of the steps, she said, "You've come for us then?"
"Yes. Were you expecting us?" Colonel Dixon asked curiously. The others milled around unsure of what they should be doing as she studied them without any sign of eagerness or recognition.
"Expecting you? No. We buried the Circle. We thought that was the end of it," she answered. It was unclear from her expression or her words if she wished it had been left that way or if she was pleased they'd persevered in finding them.
"By all rights it should have been," Jacob said. "But, George and the others back home weren't prepared to lose you." With an effort, he refrained himself from gathering her into his arms and assuring himself she was really here alive and well. It would be the wrong thing to do, because it was apparent they were, as far as she was concerned, strangers. There was nothing welcoming in her stiff, wary posture and closed face. He had to content himself with just seeing her and hearing her voice and knowing that they really had found her after all this time.
The colonel said, "We figured out how to-"
"It doesn't matter," she cut him off, "not right now." The last thing she wanted was to face what they had to say on her own. "Wait for the others to come," she said, "then you can just explain it once." To those who'd traveled the galaxy to find her, her apparent lack of curiosity was more disturbing than all the other changes they'd noted in her. This woman, calm in her resignation, was not the one they'd come expecting to find.
She looked from one to another of them as though they weren't living up to her expectations either. She turned to Traiyana and asked, "You've sent for them, haven't you?" At the affirmative nod, she gave the group one more uneasy look and sighed. "Come on up then. There's room to sit." She stood and what had only been hinted at before was unmistaken. She was several months pregnant. "I'll just put this away. Please sit down," she said gathering her bowl and snapped beans and going into the house. The group from Earth cautiously trooped up the steps and planted themselves on the porch benches and steps. She came to the door and asked, "Do you-are you thirsty? Hungry? I can get something."
"No. No," the colonel answered for them all. "We're fine."
"Ok," she said. She wanted to stay in the safety of the house, and she wanted to be in their midst, learning all she could from them. In the end, her need for knowledge won out, and she came out to join them on the porch though she still couldn't seem to push past her own caution and anxiety to begin to find her answers.
The group stirred restlessly as Major Carter found a place to sit with them but was no more able to break through her barriers than she was. She'd hardly sat down before a young woman carrying a baby and dragging a toddler behind her hurried up.
"It's true then?" she gasped. "They've come for you? You'll be going then?"
"They've come all right," the major answered, "I imagine we will be going. You too, if that's what you want?"
"What I want?" the woman echoed hollowly.
"He won't force you to go if you don't want to," she answered.
"But, he won't stay?"
Carter shrugged noncommittally. "You'll have to ask him that yourself," she said. The young woman stood in her uncertainty, gasping for air and answers to her fears. Her obvious fear and dismay reached through Carter's numbness and spurred her finally to decisiveness. She stood and reached over the railing, "Here leave them here...they'll be fine. Take the time to decide what you want. If you decide you'll come with us-pack up the things you'll miss the most. Pack lightly though, it's a long walk to the Circle." She handed the baby over to Traiyana and then took the little boy. The young woman looked helplessly at Traiyana, who nodded her head, and at the strangers staring curiously at her and then rushed off as suddenly as she had came.
Major Carter turned to Colonel Dixon. "Will it be a problem to bring her and the children?"
"I'm sorry," he answered. "Who is she?"
"Jackson's wife," she said.
"Oh. No. I'm sure that won't be a problem. Will-are there others who will be coming as well?" he asked.
She shook her head but didn't elaborate.
"Shouldn't you be packing too?" he asked her.
"I'm guessing there's really nothing we'll need...where we're going? So there are only the few things we'll bother to take-the things we came with I suppose, and a few things people have made for the baby. They'll be easy enough to grab when it's time."
Jacob frowned. They'd been missing for well over a year. He'd have liked to believe she'd made a home and life for herself during that time, but it hardly sounded like she had. They all sat in uneasy silence for another few minutes and then the men arrived.
Physically they'd changed as well. The twin suns of the system had bleached Daniel's hair until it was almost blond and given them both a dark tan. The colonel had lost a few pounds, and Daniel had apparently found them. He'd also, at some point, broken his nose. It had healed slightly crooked.
But, personality-wise, they hadn't changed at all. The colonel came up the stairs and stood in the center of the porch looking them over with narrowed eyes. He glowered suspiciously at them, his face closed and hard.
Daniel more than made up for his lack of welcome. "We never thought anyone would come...we're glad to see you! I'm Jackson-at least that's who we think I am. But, I suppose you know that?" he asked, going from one to another of them with an outstretched hand.
"Yes, actually we do," Jacob Carter told him with a grin. Daniel's obvious happiness at meeting them was a relief after Sam's indifference and Jack's bristling suspicion.
Daniel cocked his head curiously at him. "So it is Jackson then? Good. Good. Much simpler that way, don't you think? Carter? O'Neill?" he asked motioning towards the others and nodding with satisfaction to know they'd gotten that right as well. He didn't seem to notice the others' silence. "So who is everyone?" he asked.
"I am Teal'c," the Jaffa said with a nod of his head.
"Oh," Daniel said. "You came here with us then?"
"I did."
"But, you-they wiped you too, right?"
"They did. However, I have regained my memories."
"Really? That's great! You can do that for us too?"
"Indeed. That is why we have come. This is Colonel Dixon, Major Andrel, Captain Fratred...and Jacob Carter."
"Carter?" O'Neill said, speaking for the first time.
"Yes," Jacob said, "Sam's father."
"Sam?"
"Major Carter," he answered with a nod towards his daughter.
O'Neill snorted and said under his breath, "We've heard that one before." He stalked through the crowded porch and into the house. For a brief moment Carter sat frozen looking at the man who'd claimed to be her father. Then she followed O'Neill into the house.
Daniel shrugged apologetically. "They...uh...have some trust issues. The people here...they lied to us. Gave us lives that weren't ours. Told us we'd lost our memories in an accident. It left us a bit...suspicious, I guess you could say."
"Of course," Jacob said.
"If you could, you know, restore our memories-that would go a long way toward alleviating those suspicions."
Colonel Dixon spoke up, "That's a bit of a problem. We don't have the ability to do it ourselves. We'll need to bring you home first. Make sure you're ok, then visit a planet where the natives have the ability to help you."
"I see," Daniel said disappointed.
"Jackson," Traiyana spoke up, "Talyn was here..."
For the first time, Daniel noticed the baby napping in her lap and the little boy climbing about under their feet. "Oh," he said.
"Carter sent her home to decide what she will do if you decide to go-"
"Do?" he said faintly.
"Yes, do. Carter seems to think you would be willing to take her and the children if you go."
"Oh...of course," he said questioningly, and then again with more certainty, "Of course. I suppose she'll come. Won't she?" he seemed to flounder. "I couldn't just leave them if she wants to go?"
O'Neill banged through the door. "So that's the plan?" he asked. "We're going to do this? Just waltz off through that Circle with these folks?
"Well," Jackson said, "it's what we've wanted, isn't it? To know who we were, where we came from."
"We'd like you to come back with us, Sir," Colonel Dixon answered. "I was just telling Daniel-"
"Daniel? I thought you said his name was Jackson?" O'Neill interrupted.
"It is, Daniel Jackson...Dr. Daniel Jackson."
O'Neill only half listened to his answer. He'd turned back and looked through the screen at Carter. She hadn't said anything in answer to his question. She didn't have to. He gave a resigned sigh. "Yeah," he said, "guess we're going." The group would have liked a bit more enthusiastic response, but they'd settle for what they could get.
O'Neill turned to them. "Can't expect the kids and Carter to make the trip in half a day. We'll leave in the morning. I'm sure the folks here will be happy to put you up at the town hall for the night and provide you a meal," he told the group dismissively, nodded at Traiyana, and stalked back to the door.
"Of course," Traiyana said, "and we'll have a dance...for your last night with us."
O'Neill paused in the open doorway then shrugged, "Whatever," he said and brushed past Carter to get into the house.
"That would be great," Daniel said. "A chance to say good by." He grinned at Traiyana and the Earthers and nodded his head in satisfaction. The Earth group looked at one another with reservations. But the idea proved to be a good one. The villagers turned out in mass with enough food to feed a town of twice their size, laughter, music, and genuine admiration and affection for SG-1. The newcomers couldn't help but be pulled into the celebration. And even O'Neill wore a smile and a civil attitude. Up to a point.
He lost the smile when the speeches started. It didn't take the Earthers long to realize their erstwhile teammates had been instrumental in holding off a Goa'uld incursion. They were the heroes of the year apparently, and none of them were comfortable in the role. They winced at the toasts and speeches made in their honor. When pushed for a speech in return, the colonel graciously declined saying, "I'd rather dance with my wife," and took Carter off to the dance floor confirming what the group had already guessed. The musicians obligingly took up the music, and the villagers laughed as though they'd known all along there would be no speech.
Talyn sat against the wall watching O'Neill laughingly dancing about with her giggling son. Beside her, her mother gently held the baby and forced down tears. The laughing, happy voices and music filling the building did not reach them. She'd went home as Carter had told her and packed up a few of her favorite things. The bundles were stacked now by her front door, waiting for tomorrow. Tomorrow when she'd walk away from the life and people she knew and loved and follow Jackson through the Circle to a new life she couldn't imagine.
There hadn't been time to talk with him about the changes ahead of them. He was so excited meeting the strangers, she'd hardly seen him since they'd arrived. He'd been home a minute to rummage through his own few belongings before deciding there was nothing there worth packing, but then he'd rushed off again to speak more with the newcomers. She'd waited for him to come back to collect them for the dance, and eventually he had. But his thoughts had not been on her or the children but on the excitement of the trip tomorrow and all it would mean. To him. Not to her.
He'd be going home, discovering who and what he was, and returning to the people who loved him. While she'd be leaving all she knew. She'd be taking her children away from the world she knew, the life she understood, and her family who loved them. And there'd be no turning back. The Circle was to be buried again as soon as they passed through it. She'd be trapped on his world just as he'd been trapped on hers. The later the night grew, the closer the time came, the more she knew she couldn't do it.
She still loved him but not enough for this...not knowing that his feelings toward her and her children were not those of a husband and father but those of a concerned friend. He'd tried. She knew he had. But, her months of deceit had been impossible to wipe out. It had been too personal, too intimate a betrayal for that. His willingness to try had been enough for her here surrounded with her family's support and the village. But, she knew now, it wouldn't be enough on the other side of the Circle.
She belonged here and her children, too. She couldn't see them raised on a strange world, learning things she'd never even imagined, and growing into people she could never understand. And Jackson. Would he be the man she knew when his memories were returned? She looked at the group that had come for them. Not simple townsmen but soldiers all. No, he'd be a different man there. One who wouldn't need the burden of a wife he didn't love and the responsibility of children that he still didn't see as his own.
She stood, patted her mom on her shoulder, and went to find Jackson. The dance was a chance for the villagers to say good by, and she had good bys to say.