A/N: Dear FFN, I love you...so stop making my stories all weird in the doc manager...thank you so very much in advanced.

I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome... Thanks for the support thus far guys, and I hope you all like this chapter...It's an important one...I know it's darker than the other ones, but I promise this is the "worst" of the darkness.

White Fence
Chapter Seven

The moment of truth was fast approaching in more ways than the adults at the table would willingly admit. While it was true Shizuru and Natsuki would have to be honest and hope for the best, the uneasy feeling had migrated over the entire room. It was easy to talk about it, but to put that plan into action was quite a bit different. They all wanted to deal with the situation differently, and as Shizuru had come to find out, the meeting in the kitchen was nearly that of the chopping block, Nao and Mai were facing down this woman for the first time, and Shizuru felt the cold air of truth send shivers down the back of her neck.

She'd only briefly met Nao on Monday night, but she was already well on her way to being drunk when she'd walked through the door of Natsuki's home, booze and games in hand. In passing, Nao was a party girl, with a total disregard to any common decency. Now though, an entirely new side of the woman seemed almost feral, and her mere stance screamed ownership of the situation. Even when Natsuki would send barbs in her direction, she would throw a snide remark back, refusing to acknowledge that she could be wrong. The vulgarly of the situation aside, Shizuru knew the meaning behind those lime colored eyes.

There was a method to this madness, though in truth, Shizuru was not yet sure what exactly that was.

"Nao, stop being a pain." It was Mai's calm voice that broke though the vicious statements, and she was met with fury, an angry glare not only from Nao, but from Natsuki as well. "I get what you're saying...really, I do. Still, we have to remember, Kane isn't the real problem here." Though, he was Natsuki's primary concern at the time, everyone knew it would be Aki that would put up the fight. "Aki could take this as an attack on everything she's ever known."

"Feeling threatened by the situation aside, it'll give her a moral high ground she hadn't had to deal with yet." Natsuki told Mai as she crossed her arms. "Aki's beginning to lose sight of everything she's ever cared about. She takes too much value in what other people say." That would be the major problem here as well. Natsuki turned to Shizuru with an apologetic eye. "When you tell her that you're her birth mother, a lot of pieces are going to click into place. As much as she loves me, your absences had played a role in defining who Aki has become. She's going to get angry, and I think with the confirmation that she really was left behind by someone, she'll have to battle through a lot of her inner demons."

"The question then becomes, could you handle being the target?" Mai could see the uncertainty there, laced within crimson eyes, the resemblance was indeed startling.

"I doubt she'd be the target." Nao grouched, not at all pleased with the situation, but knew it had to be done. "Natsuki, you're the one she's going to be pissed at. Not telling her the real truth has finally come to bite you in the ass." The table grew silent at that, and even Nao knew that Natsuki wasn't going to be the only one. "She'll be pissed at me too, for the same reasons."

"That's her weakness, not yours." Akira finally said from the comer of the room. "Aki's a very angry person, and no matter how you channel that anger, it's going to lash out eventually. People can say what they want about her attitude, but Aki is truly a product of everyone in this room. We've defined her very existence and given her the tools we use to cope." Akira wasn't around much when Natsuki, Nao, and Mai were all teens, she was still quite young herself back then, along with Takumi. "Still, you've got to remember, everything that works for us won't always work for her. She's dared to ask the questions Kane never cared about, because she's an inquiring mind, and she wants answers for even the smallest thing."

"Why is that so important to her?" Shizuru had always wondered that, why her daughter seemed to care so much about a past she'd never truly known.

Nao and Natsuki both looked at each other, but it was Natsuki who spoke. "Aki knows about what happened to Nao and I...within that, you need to understand, just as you hold bitterness towards your past, Shizuru, I also harbor a hatred for mine. Nao is the same, although where I hated a situation, she actually hated her parents." Natsuki had tried to keep the malicious memories from swaying her judgment, but in her younger years, that had worked to no avail.

"I'm sure that she thinks she wasn't good enough." Nao finally said, cutting to the delicate core of the issue. "You were an unknown shadow in her past, and even if Natsuki had given birth to her, there would still be a shadow left behind, a void where another parent should be. Kane takes the face value and rarely questions it...if it isn't broken he doesn't attempt to fix it...but Aki has always been a person who wants to know the finer details of everything." That was the grim fact. "Bottom line is that you weren't there...and when Aki asks you why, you'll have to tell her everything...included the facts around the way she'd been conceived. It's not going to be easy to hear, but it'll be even harder to accept it. It'll hit her hard."

"Either way, there isn't much we can do." Mai could see the tension in Nao's clenched fists. "We'll just have to trust that everything will work out."

"If it doesn't?" Nao voiced the one question they all wanted to ask, but they found that the answer wasn't so easy to say. It wasn't something they could deduce, simply from theories alone.

"Kane will be fine." Tate said then, standing behind his wife. "Aki will come around. There isn't anything else they can do."

"They can run away from the problem." Nao turned to him, her voice soft, but dripping with a very carefully protected poison. "If you thought it would bother Kane at all, would you be so complacent you sexiest jackass?"

"Last I looked, you weren't so concerned about him either." Tate told Nao, facing her down. "When did I become the enemy here?"

"The moment you forgot who you're dealing with." Nao snarled.

"That's enough." Mai finally stood between the two combatants, Nao looked at if she were about to throw punches. "Leave her alone, Tate. She's taking this personally."

"You're damn right I am." Nao told Mai before turning back to the rest of the table "I have every right to be pissed off. That's why I know Aki isn't going to take this well. Why I'm on my guard." She sneered, looking at Tate's cool expression. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Takumi was a soft, often quiet young man, who followed in his sister's shadow. He wasn't often so floored by family meetings, seeing as he often found himself removed from the bigger picture. Still, it was because he kept a calm outlook, that he felt floored by the things he'd been hearing. "While it's true Tate favors Kate over Aki...it isn't that he's unconcerned." No, it was far from it. "It's that she's unable to be predictable, so we can't worry." He looked at Akira and then at Nao. "Just because Aki can't relate with us, doesn't mean Tate's sexiest...it just means she relates to you better."

He worked his hands into fists as his shoulders slumped. "I know you understand her...that's why I know you're angry...but being so negative will only encourage Aki to be upset. She'll react like you, Nao." In thinking about it, he couldn't have said his feelings about the matter better, and he agreed with Tate. "We can make this work out some way, can't we?"

"It'll have to somehow." Natsuki stood from her chair then, unwilling sit still any longer. "I didn't raise quitters...even if they don't back down, at least I know they'll stand and face us down."

...

Family meetings were a rarity, unless there was a problem. It wasn't everyday that Mai and Tate would be on one side of the room, whilst Takumi and Akira would be seated on the other. Natsuki sighed as she and Nao leaned on the far wall, Shizuru seated in the front on a kitchen stool. This could be bad, they all agreed on that, but it was with inexplicable irony, that it seemed eerily right. The outside world was colored in cheer. Natsuki wished the dark, foreboding cloud that seemed to loom over her own head would just fade away, but it wasn't going to happen.

If it was her own demise, she wouldn't be surprised, but has her hands rested on Shizuru's shoulders, she could feel the tension rising in the room. The silence was deafening, but awkwardly, there wasn't anything they could say.

No one really knew how the twins were going to react, but Natsuki knew that it wasn't going to be so easy. Simply a confession would be impossible. When she closed her eyes, she had a vision of what she wanted things to be like, but, she feared she would come up short. The weekend was normally a time when the twins disappeared into their own worlds of friends, games, and the mysteries any teenager might have. However, when they both woke up, late unto the afternoon, they already knew from the sights and sounds of a busy kitchen, something was amiss.

For one rare morning everyone gathered in a feast, and time spent in mindlessness seemed fleeting.

After a big meal, with plenty of laughter involved, Kane and Aki were told to go get dressed and then, meet everyone back downstairs. That was when the mental game began. They were always quick to dress, but always long to linger. It was no surprise that they would hold themselves upstairs for any measure of time, the siblings speaking amongst themselves. Today, that wasn't any different, but, it did offer the first troublesome part of Kane's day. "If you don't go down, someone will come up." This was a routine set in it's ways. "Either way, you'll hear what they have to say."

"I don't care what they have to say, they can say it without our neighbor around." In truth however, it was an unspoken agreement. They already knew the blond would have a few things to say. Somehow, without even noticing it, Shizuru had become a real part of their every day lives, the problem was, Aki couldn't pinpoint when that had happened. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it isn't a big deal." She would have rather stayed locked up in her room. The gray and black tints were soothing to her, especially amidst all of the posters of her favorite bands. "I'm probably just in trouble again, you know how that goes."

"It isn't as easy as that." The admittance was soft, and though he stood in a room filled with flair that he himself took not a lick of interest in, he couldn't help but take notice of the spray paint on the ceiling. "I don't think you're in trouble." The smiling face so well known, and yet, so far away. "I don't even think it has to do with us at all." A symbol of a time when the entire room hand been brighter, the hue something of a remnant of their lives back then. "Even if it does, I doubt avoiding things would do any good." He had a similar one in his room, the same color yellow. He wanted to go back to a time when Aki's room wasn't so cluttered...though he had been told many times, he was the one with no taste in decoration.

"What am I avoiding, really?" No, she wasn't the one hiding from whatever it was that was going on. "It's that woman that has something to hide, otherwise she wouldn't be downstairs." She wasn't going to yield, as if suddenly, she should bow down to another person, based on whims alone. "This isn't a normal meeting, Kane. You should know that." No, she wasn't going to make things go smoothly. "It isn't fair, now they want to come clean about it...that's just total bull crap."

"I don't follow." Kane said dryly. "Are you saying mom and Shizuru have been together for a long time or something?" He blinked then, scowling as he thought back. "Mom never talked about her before, so how did you know they were in the sack together?"

"Mom's a lesbian?" Aki bolted upright, now she was duly confused. "When the hell did that happen, and why didn't she tell me?"

"Oh god..." Kane muttered, feeling like this was going to be a problem before he could control it. "It's not like mom was trying to hide it, if that's what your thinking." He looked down at his feet shyly before he sighed out in embarrassment. "I walked in on them by accident, so I didn't know either...until that happened." He bit his lip, feeling bad for Aki, but at the same time, also feeling guilty about himself. "I think that's what they want to talk to us about...I don't think it had anything to do with us...and everything to do with them."

"I'm still not going down there." Aki grumbled then, putting her face into her pillow, trying desperately to hold herself together. "If you and mom want to keep secrets from me that's fine...but then do expect me to play these games with you." She forced herself to get out of bed, and she went over to the window. "If anyone wants to talk, I'll be in my normal place, but they have to come with me, I won't go to them."

Kane sighed again as he watched his sister exit through the window. She would stay on the roof, true to her word, be he could tell she was upset, and didn't dare to follow her.

He wasn't the only one feeling unlucky. Everyone else had been waiting downstairs. They could hear the muted footsteps above them, and then, one of the doors upstairs closed. Preparing for the worst, Natsuki felt Nao's elbow in her side, a look of mild yet tired annoyance on her face. "If this goes bad, I'm taking Aki with me for awhile." It was a murmur that made Shizuru sigh, wondering if this was really worth it.

"It won't go badly, unless you encourage it." Akira quietly told Nao sharply. "Stop inviting bad omens."

"Omen or not, it has nothing to do with me." She wasn't at all interested in the daggers she saw flying in her general direct, the gazes of a few on her form.

"Either way, Nao's right." Natsuki finally cut in, knowing Nao was preparing out of a defensive nature. "Don't be so sure that everything will work to perfection. That way, no one will truly get hurt."

"It doesn't work that way either Na-" Mai cut herself off from her speech as the sound of Kane's footsteps came down the stairs. Each step was slow and filled with the meaning behind his stance, he didn't dare look at the ground, but rather at the sight before him.

With a frown marring his features, he took a breath and closed his eyes. He'd been hoping Aki would reconsider, but it wasn't his choice, and not one he could force her to make. "Aki refuses to come down. We know how this works, you all give us this feeling like everything will be okay, but then, you drop a bomb on us." It was fool proof, usually, but this morning the changes, though subtle, were there in a predetermined truth. "Aki doesn't want to do things that way this time." His locks of fawn were long enough that he swiped his bangs away from his eyes, and proceed to sit in his usual spot on the middle sofa.

"On the roof." Nao muttered, her comment one of solid fact. "I'll go get her."

"No." Shizuru stood then, though she tried not to shake outwardly, inside, she was trembling with each and every breath. "I would like to go on my own." She looked at Natsuki, who nodded hesitantly, as if she hadn't really wanted to do so. At this point, Shizuru could tell this wasn't normal. "Kane, please accompany me, it would be best if I didn't repeat myself."

Kane nodded, and together they went back up the stairs. Each step Shizuru took was one step to her greatest demise. Her heart kept telling her to turn around. She nearly wanted to believe it, but she knew she would never forgive herself if she did. "Second door." Kane said quietly, his words guiding Shizuru to Aki's room. She knocked, but when no answer came, Kane grew impatient. Gently he pushed the door open, and pointed outside. "She's actually outside, if you want to talk to her, you'll have to climb out of the window."

"That's terribly unsafe." Shizuru replied. "Tell her that I'd like to address her, and it would be better if she came back inside." Shizuru doubted she could actually climb out onto the roof, even if the slant was mild at best. The mere idea made her feel dizzy. "I'd really rather not go out there."

"That would be a good way to make her run away." Kane said then, knowing better than to even try. "If you want to talk to her, it's better if you do it on her terms..." Kane trailed off, the helpless look in Shizuru's eyes enough to make him feel badly, wanting to apologize for his sister's actions. He walked over to the window, and looked out, seeing that his sister wasn't that far away. "She'd be able to hear you from the window, but I doubt she'd listen." He climbed out easily, and then held out his hand. "No one has ever fallen from the roof, you wouldn't be the first...I won't let that happen."

"Don't help her..." Aki called out, as she stood out, shoving her brother out of the way. "I'm not taking the rap if she turns out to be a klutz." She nearly growled, as her glare met the woman in front of her. "Mom would be pissed if I let you fall, so you stay there, and we'll stand here." The truth was, the roof was her hiding place, she didn't want someone else there. "Well, what is it?" Not someone she couldn't trust.

It was far easier being told the truth she'd received from Natsuki...but now, having to retell the same thing made Shizuru question so many things. She didn't have the time to ponder about the answers. Instead, she stood there licking her lips, suddenly feeling parched. "I wish there was an easy way to explain, but as much as I try to come up with the right words, I find that I'm lacking." These teens in front of her were watching her as if she were an enigma, and she realized, that as far as they were concerned that was the nearest thing to the truth. "I'm your mother." Shizuru sighed up, trying to not let her eyes wander away from them in shame. "Your real one."

"Horse shit." Aki's words were dry, and lacking any solid emotion. "There's no way in hell you could be."

"Aki, it's alrig-"

"No!..it's not." She yelled at her brother who had put his hand on her shoulder. "It's not alright, so don't pretend that it is." Fury burned in crimson eyes like a raging inferno, but the instant Aki turned to face her brother, that same fire burned out into nothingness. "It's not fine...it's not."

Kane's eyes hardened when he looked at Shizuru, and then, back down at his sister who had buried her face in his embrace, trying to block out the world. "She isn't lying." His words were soft as he mumbled them into his sister's ear. "I can tell that she isn't." Still, even when he looked at Shizuru, he found it difficult to believe himself. "Mom wouldn't have let her say it, if it was a lie." He knew that much for sure, still, under his scrutiny, he wondered just how much he didn't truly understand. "My family name is Kuga, not Fujino." He told Shizuru harshly, on the defensive because his sister was upset. "Her's is the same."

Never in his life had he ever felt so livid. Something in his cool gaze told Shizuru it was a frozen calm.

"My Mother's name is Natsuki Kuga. She's the only women we've ever known to hold that title, and that is how it will remain." In a world filled with things he never cared to know, his past, as questionable as it was, remained one of the highest on the list. He knew Aki felt the need to question it, but never had he imagined they would hear an answer such as this. "We may hold a bloodline, but nothing more than that." He couldn't accept anything else, not with his sister's tears staining his shirt.

There were so many things she wanted to say, but nothing spilled from her lips. She couldn't push any farther than this, she didn't have the right, and her worst fears were already confirmed. "I understand." It was all she could say to him, as she forced herself not to become weak, feeling herself begin to fail in that task horribly.

"You don't have a clue." Kane said softly then, watching as Shizuru left the room. He wanted to chase the woman down and have a few real words with her, but before he could do that, he had to deal with Aki. "Go to Aunt Nao's apartment." He'd told her protectively. "You'll be safe there...I'll send her when I get the chance." He didn't wait for Aki's response, prying her from his grip as he climbed back through the window. He could hear Shizuru's sobs in the hall, just outside the door, as if she hadn't the power to yet go down and face the group that awaited them.

With a clenched fist, he turned and watched Aki climb into the tree, knowing she would be safe. He hated getting stuck in this position, but as he opened his door his assumptions were confirmed, and he grabbed the woman's wrist, and dragged her back inside. "You'll need more backbone, if you want to be my mother." He sighed out, wondering how a woman could be so weak at heart. Her eyes were so far gone, a deeps pool that he feared even he would drown in. "Stop it..." His voice was barely a breath in the air, as he tried and failed. The tears wouldn't ebb...they merely flowed freely down his hand and onto the floor.

"How can I?" He couldn't understand her words through her sobs. "I knew you would hate me."

It was such a strong word, but Kane couldn't deny that he felt unclear. His world was upside down, and Aki's had just been obliterated entirely. He knew that it wouldn't matter, but that didn't stop him from feeling as if he had lost control of the situation. "Hate is only something I feel, once all hope has been lost." No, he didn't hate her. "Personally, I just don't feel anything." He felt numb, down to his very core. "Aki comes first...she will always come first, over everyone else, she's the most important to me."

He couldn't stay here, he couldn't be idle at a time like this, and though he wanted to lash out, he found that he couldn't change what just happened. No amount of shouting would make the pain in his chest go away. The only thing he knew, was that this woman wouldn't find solace within him, and he wouldn't find comfort in her unimaginable sadness. He couldn't do this by himself, and he doubted that today would ever find a true resolve.

…
(Natsuki POV)

I expected that this would happen...I should have gone up there, I should have been the one to tell them, but even if I know that, I also know it wouldn't have changed the inevitable. Aki would have still taken it as an attack, and Kane would have been the brother he expects himself to be. Still, I could see in his eyes, when he came to get help, that he wasn't at all happy with me either. He didn't leave with Nao like I thought he might, but at the same token, I know with the way he's locked in his room, he doesn't want to talk to me this time.

I know that because when I tried to open his door, I was face to face with part of his bookshelf. I can tell he's eating, because he goes to Nao's to do that...and sometimes, he'll go out of his window, and scale the tree to get down stairs. He still resides here, but he refuses to say any more than a few brief words. Always respectful, but still, I can see it in his eyes...he's hurting too, but I know he told Shizuru the truth. He honestly doesn't care about her. He couldn't care less what relation he has to her, that isn't his concern.

Aki's reaction rubbed off on him, but even more than that, his own future comes into question. Who Shizuru was to him doesn't matter. That's how he feels. Now, what he's worried about the most, is what Shizuru will become, and he wonders if Aki can accept that. It's merely Kane's way. Shizuru wanted to run away, to give up and let Aki win. I won't let her. I refuse to let Aki win a battle based on stubbornness alone, I refuse to let her anger ruin the lives of those around her. I won't let her wrath dictate her truest feelings.

Aki's angry now, but she's had the answer she's always suspected thrown at her...I couldn't expect she'd take it well...but I can expect that she'll learn to overcome it...because as much as Aki's angry, this is what she's always wanted. Still, it's been a week now, and until Aki can confront this anger of hers, and her deep down fear of being unwanted, our stalemate will keep going on.

…

"He still hasn't come out of his room?" Mai asked as she looked up at the ceiling.

Natsuki looked up too, but only briefly before she sighed. "Oh no, he comes out...he just doesn't say much when he does." Natsuki looked down at the tea Shizuru had prepared before she went out to spend time in the garden. "Honestly, I'm starting to think this isn't going to end any time soon."

"Hmm." Mai nodded, but she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. "Do you think Tate could be of some help?"

"I've thought about that." Natsuki was busy with work, and with trying her best to get Aki on more civilized terms, a feat that wasn't easy. "Kane really trusts Tate, and he admires him a lot." Was that enough? Natsuki wasn't so sure. "I just don't think Kane's up for talking much. He's always one to take things slow." She wanted to assume this was just one of those times, even if it was hopeful thinking at best. "I'm going to give him a while longer to mull things over in his own head. Pushing him into talking never works."

Mai blanched at that. "It's just so frustrating, and honestly, I can't stand Nao's idea of parenting." The shared look between them was enough to share the torture Nao could induce to the surrounding apartments. "If it isn't loud music, it's always weird silences, as if they're out walking the streets. I know they're doing something they shouldn't be, Nao's apartment is completely trashed."

"When isn't it trashed?" Natsuki muttered whilst shaking her head. "Really though, Aki needs time to herself too, and this wasn't exactly far from what we thought would happen." The other problem was, Mai was a natural mothering hen, she would flit around, hovering over shoulders without really meaning to do it. Natsuki was sure the duo, who normally avoided that at all cost, would find other places to spend their time. "Nao can handle it...I know that much." It wasn't a matter of capability. It was a matter of how Nao would handle it, that worried Natsuki inwardly. "I just hope Aki doesn't come home with any weird piercings or tattoos in places she can't hide."

"As if you would allow a tattoo she could hide." Ma was hopeful at least, that Natsuki would answer the negative.

Natsuki merely lifted her tea to her lips, a sarcastic smile plastered across her face. "Could be worse, with Nao in charge."

"Don't remind me." Mai really wished she could do something to help. It would be pointless...her confectionery expertise, while quite tasty, couldn't mend wounds. "Anyway, keep me updated, would you. Tate would come over in a heartbeat, if he thought it would help." Only time and forgiveness could do something like that.

Natsuki walked Mai to the door, but they both paused when they saw Kane climbing down from the tree again, something he did when he was in search of food, or to get to the bathroom. He refused to move the bookcase away from his bedroom door. They both waited, expecting him to stumble through with his sleepy eyes and rumpled clothes, as if the meaning of life had once again evaded him. Instead, much to the surprise of the onlookers, he didn't go near the house, but instead walked across the lawn. "He looks like hell." Natsuki sighed then, watching from the window. "I can tell he hasn't been sleeping well."

"Or eating properly either." Mai agreed, the boy walked without pretense, dragging his weary body along in a haphazard fashion. "A boy his age can't survive on instant packets alone." He finally plopped down in the grass, staring oddly enough, at the sunflowers he'd planted not all that long ago. "What do you suppose has gotten into him." Mai asked as she noticed Shizuru had been watching him too. Her current work outside forgotten, a stunned expression drifting clearly over her features.

"I wish I knew." Lost for words, and an explanation, Natsuki could merely watch on as Kane poked at one of the flowers, but it wasn't as if he seemed interested in them, more like he had nothing better to do. "Come on, I'll show you out the back."

"Never mind that." Mai said shaking her head. "I'll stay around for another cup."

...

Outside, the humming that had dawn Kane down from his room stopped the moment he sat down. He was unimpressed with the flowers before him as he waited idly for the soft sound of harmony to come back. He knew at a glance in Shizuru's direction, she wouldn't hum that little tune for him. "You don't have to cry." He'd murmured then, though, it was devoid of his usual softness. It was blank, just like his eyes as he fell backwards to look at the sky. It seemed so cheerful, he wondered why it seemed to taunt him.

Shizuru tried to hold back her tears, but the mere sight of him, as if he'd fallen from the person he once was, made it impossible.

"I told you, don't cry." Even with a hardened edge to his voice, and sitting up to address her, he found that he couldn't be angry at her. "Pathetic..." His accusation was made gentle by his hand as he took it in hers. "Any mother of mine, shouldn't be allowed to cry." In his eyes, she could only see weakness, one failure, and this woman fell apart. He couldn't understand that, not after she'd been gone for so long. He'd been hopeful, that with Aki's anger as motive, he could keep Shizuru at bay, he knew however, that just wasn't the case. "It's a weakness." And as much as he hated it, he could only pity her.

"The circumstances are beyond my control." Her words came to him brokenly. "It was all I could do then, too." As if she could agree with him, but couldn't become a stronger, better person. "I don't expect that you understand, or that you accept my words at truth." Yet, she hadn't even had that chance, her voice had gone unheard.

"I should hate you." He muttered, knowing that his sister did hate Shizuru, with likely every fiber of her being. "Loathe the fact that you exist entirely." He could not block out the words that echoed in his mind, not so long ago, before his eyes had been opened to the real heart of the matter. "I wish that I could." Memories told him, he didn't have that luxury.

A pleading note had rang out in front of him, not so long ago. "Alright, I get it..." When he'd had nothing to redeem him from his failure. "It's different when it's me...but Kane, really, there are situations that are going on with Shizuru and I. Things that she isn't ready to talk about. Just like you are afraid people will hate you, Shizuru is downright petrified that you'll deem her unworthy of being apart of our family. You and your sister mean the world to me, and she doesn't just have to win my heart, she has to earn your acceptance too. She's frightened of that...I can't ask you to blindly accept her. It would be unfair. But I can ask you to be kind to her...that you will accept what I do with my life, even if that means she ends up in my bed." Natsuki, the woman he respected above all else, the person he knew as his mom, even in his earliest years, had found something within this excuse for a human being.

He owed at least that much in return.

He wondered if he should think of Shizuru as a lesser creature, but honestly, it wouldn't matter. It wasn't honorable when he pulled Shizuru into an embrace. He wondered idly, if he had a speck of true kindness for this woman. Right now, he couldn't be sure he could offer her such a thing. It wasn't that he was being selfless, but rather much the opposite. "You left us, that's reason enough to hate you." He was not going to follow the whims of others. "My mom wants you here, that's reason enough to accept you." He would never grow into that type of man, but when left with a choice, he found he didn't have enough conviction one way or the other. "I don't have my reasons like Aki and my Mom do...I can't follow their wishes, I can't do either of those things. I won't take sides." Yet he would also not deny the need to protect the one link into his past, an insight he never wanted. Still, now that he had it, he would guard it from prying eyes. "What you'll become remains to be seen, that's for you earn...I won't give it to you freely." He wondered if he could give this woman any family title at all...he was unsure.

He would not let her go as she cried out poison, one so deadly, he could nearly feel it burning into him. For a moment, he considered asking what had gone on back then...for reasons why he was alive. It felt sickening to even think about, he wouldn't ask, and he wished she would never say. The grass was green, the sky a bright blue, and the sun, shining...this day was a happy torment. Proof of a world around him, a tranquility not so far out of reach...and he wished they could just plant flowers, and forget anything that had happened.

He knew, that at least today, that wish would go on, unfulfilled.

…

Nao couldn't help but smile when she walked through the door to her apartment, seeing Aki completely passed out on the floor, a pillow propping up her hand held gaming system. It was late at night, but every light was on, brightly announcing someone was actually home for a change. Nao put the warm dish on the stove, some dinner Mai had made would be awaiting Aki to wake up to eat it. The kitchen table was trashed with beer bottles from the night before, but now, papers also littered the table, Aki school work a haphazard mess.

Nao thought about that...The red lines, the corrections, and the notes that only seemed to be half helpful, and half ranting. The teacher's red ink more like a blood stain than a helpful encouragement to try harder.

Nao sighed as she put on some water to boil, trying to find her coffee filters in the rubble she called a home. She never really brought home guests, so, she hardly cleaned. Now though, she'd taken to actually putting some dishes into the washer, and had put the recyclables into their proper bins. The carry out boxes that were stacked by the door seemed like a tower, but Nao wouldn't worry about that until trash day. She sighed as she went to go hit the shower, knowing the squealing kettle would wake Aki up when it was ready.

Out of all the rooms in Nao's house, her bathroom was the only one she really took the time to maintain. It was an old one, outdated in nearly every possible way, but was functional, and that's all she cared about. Even when she started the hot water and stepped under the spray, pulling the thin plastic shower liner across the tub, she thought it suited her, that her apartment was as easy as it was. If anything, it gave her time to tinker around on her days off, something she wasn't always found of, but that she enjoyed sparingly.

Nao was one for long hot showers, and she'd been unsure just how much time had eluded her, but she didn't really care either. She'd only just considered leaving the heated spray when Aki came through the door sleepily to use the bathroom. "Hey kiddo." Nao took amusement in the messy long strands of hair that framed Aki's face, the multiple colors mixing into a disheveled and dark rainbow. "Didn't think you'd pass out so early. Mai made you some dinner, it's in the kitchen." She turned off the water, and sighed when she realized her things were on the other side of the toilet.

"I'm not really hungry." Aki replied sleepily as she handed Nao the long, ungodly green towel. "I'm never hungry when I first wake up...though I'm not even sure why I did." Though she was thankful for the coffee to wake up with, she couldn't help but feel like she should just go back to sleep. "I'm never going to figure out that stupid homework."

"It may be stupid now, but you've got to decide if it will be stupid later." Nao thought it wasn't really important as she ruffled Aki's hair on the way out, so that she could grab herself some of the much desired warmth that only a coffee jolt could give, smirking as the smell soothed her entirely. "Do you want cream, or just sugar?" First she clutched her robe that was hanging on the hook right out side of the bathroom, throwing it over her form.

"Both, if you have it." Aki called back, though in truth, her mind was less on the coffee, and more on her failing grades. "What do you think I should do about it?"

"Drop out, honestly." Nao replied as she made two mugs of coffee the same. A little cream, and a lot of sugar. "There's more for you to do in this world than get bogged down by things like that." Nao handed Aki one of the identical mugs, before looking over the homework at the table. "You won't need half of this crap outside of school." In fact, that's was what drove Nao crazy. "You'd think they'd teach you survival skills, like how to write out tax forms, and keep a balanced check book." Nao grumbled then. "These equations are really pretty, but in my line of work, common sense works just fine. Measure twice, cut once...easy stuff." Though, in truth it came easy because she had years of practice at it.

"All I know, is I don't want to be doing some minimum wage job my entire life. I want something better." Aki was sometimes afraid she wouldn't be able to keep a job at all, if she couldn't even do her school work correctly. "You and mom were that way for a long time, right?" She knew that answer already.

"Everyone starts off someplace, and usually it's the new people that get the crappiest things to get done." Nao rolled her eyes, remembering several times when that had applied to her. "You have time, ya know. Screw off school, deal with more important things."

"Yeah, like what?" Aki slowly closed her science book, pausing at that. Nao had a soft, but apprehensive look on her face as she took a careful sip of the coffee.

"Well, there's a lot of important things." For an entire week, Aki had happily stayed away from home, but Nao knew that couldn't keep happening forever. "Your mom for one...Kane for another." Nao wondered idly just why she was always stuck with dealing with the harder of the twins, thinking it was some form of divine retribution. "Family is something you make, Aki...it isn't just blood ties. If it were, no one would ever get married. Hell, we'd probably all kill each other after some horrible mutation."

"And people say Mom gets morbid." Aki muttered then as she sighed. "She learned it from you..."

"I am the master at that ya know." Nao let a low chuckle fall from her lips, but she wished to see Aki smile too. "You know, back when you were little, your mom and I were in a bad place in our lives." How many nights had she really spent like this over the years? It seemed nearly endless. Nao knew for a fact she'd invested a lot of time, and energy, into Aki's upbringing. "We were actually worse off than either of us would ever admit." And yet, nights like this were fleeting. Nao knew one day, she would miss them. "Aki...I've tried to stand in a place close enough that you could rely on me, but that, if I ever wanted, I could walk away, and leave you behind." That was the thing that was the most twisted about this.

"But, you didn't...did you?" Aki knew that answer. Nao had always been there. "I know what you're trying to say...but, you're not an aunt to me."

"I know, I'm not." No, without the fiery redhead noticing it, she had somehow taken the place of a second parent. "I don't know why I stayed around." Nao had begun to think about that answer the most. When the truth had fallen into Natsuki's lap, it was devastating. "I just did..but that was the draw, Aki." When Shizuru had first come around, Nao felt threatened, but, she also knew it wasn't her place to stand it. She never wanted it in the first place. "I could have stood in that place with your mom, I had that choice when I held you in my arms the first time...I was scared, and you weren't even mine."

In truth, Nao couldn't imagine the agonizing fear of being a teenage parent. She had tried to think about the kind of person it would have taken to muddle through such a confusing path. "I think it's time for you to get a morality check." Nao felt sick back when she used to think of the truth. "I wouldn't have kept any babies, if I'd ever gotten pregnant...I would have been in a clinic so fast, Aki."

"You would have kept your kids, if you'd had any." Aki said then. "And you would have raised them, because you raised us." She wanted to be hopeful, and keep close an image of the one person she idolized the most. Nao was the strong one, the back sheep that wasn't hated...the loved for who she was, even when she was scolded. Nao was the cool one, the bad ass, the one with all the answers, always. "You stayed with us...so I know that if you would have had your own...they would have been with you forever."

Nao shook her head. "I wouldn't have been strong enough..." She hated admitting that, but it was a truth she had come to terms with several times in her life, every time she begrudged a shadowed figure whom she'd never even seen. "You think about that, before you put me on some high stage. I'm not any better than Shizuru, you just think I am...but in truth, she gave birth to you...I wouldn't have even made it that far." Stumbling through life, Nao could barely manage back then. "If it wasn't for Natsuki, you and Kane wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have been looking after orphans, I could hardly look after myself. I would have dropped you on the nearest doorstep."

"I know what your saying." Aki sighed out, she didn't want to believe it. "I'm sorry if I can't be a better person...but, can you blame me for hating her?"

"No...I can't." Though Nao often wondered if that was the worst part of it. "It's easy to be angry when she's still here, and you can throw your anger at her..." She pulled a joint and a lighter and put it on the table. "My mom was always very ill when I was young, and I hated her for every single misgiving. She passed away shortly after my eighteenth birthday. I never got the chance to tell her how much I really hated her." Though, upon reflection, Nao could only sigh. "Or that I loved her...and that I was sorry for giving her the hell I put her through." With that, she got up and went to bed, although she knew, it going to be another one of those sleepless nights.

Yeah, I know...it ended on a dark note...next chapter will make up for it... once I edit the darned thing...