Chapter Fifteen.
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Julia Sawyer perched on the edge of the slightly uncomfortably armchair in Hermione's living room faced by three very different but obviously very concerned men and one near catatonic woman. The note she had received from Blaise that morning had been worrying enough to warrant cancelling all of her appointments for the day, something which she was loathe to do. Right now, though, Hermione was her biggest concern.
The girl in question had become considerably important to Julia, who had come to respect and admire her greatly. She was touched by the the care and love that shone from the eyes of the three men in the room and she knew that, with them, Hermione would be watched closely and kept safe. She really couldn't be doing with having to provide another emergency consult for a failed suicide attempt on Hermione's part. Or worse.
"Thank you for coming so quickly, I honestly don't know what happened but Hermione... Well, you can see for yourself how she's doing." Blaise said once he had sat her down and fetched a glass of water for her.
Hermione was laid across the sofa with her head in the lap of the wizard with black hair, glasses and the infamous lightning bolt scar, obviously Harry Potter. Her feet were resting in the lap of the third man, one that Julia hadn't recognised on her arrival and had quietly introduced himself as Theo Nott. She had noticed that the love that shone in his eyes for Hermione was stronger than either of the other men, but decided to keep that observation to herself.
"Is Draco planning to be here? Or shall I begin?" She asked, eager to come up with some sort of plan for Hermione.
She saw Harry and Blaise look at each other briefly, their eyes flashing with irritation and made a mental note to approach that subject a little later on.
"Draco has decided to distance himself from Hermione. In favour of his new girlfriend." Blaise muttered, clearly not in agreement with his friends choice. Julia nodded, but didn't comment.
"Alright. As you all know, Hermione has been diagnosed with depression for some time now. The improvement we saw during her stay at St Mungo's and immediately afterwards was promising, though obviously something has caused her to slip back," She said gently, gesturing to Hermione, whose eyes were closed. "Do any of you know what could have caused this?"
"She got a job, but I'm not sure if she still has it. She never went to a shift, not to my knowledge anyway." Blaise offered and she made a note of it before turning to Harry, who sighed.
"Draco's new girlfriend, Astoria, is pale, blonde and tall... Much like Eloise was." Harry muttered.
"That could be a possible trigger." Julia said, noting it and nodding.
"Why has her mood declined, though? I thought the potion was supposed to prevent this kind of thing from happening?" Theo asked, irritated but not unkindly.
"The wizarding world is woefully uneducated on the topic of mental health disorders and conditions, Theo. It's hard to explain chemical imbalances and hormonal causes to someone who thinks that flicking their wand should be able to fix almost anything. I chose to gain a degree at a muggle university, but there are very few who have an understanding of these kind of illnesses." She said, and Harry nodded.
I was diagnosed with PTSD by a muggle psychiatrist after the war, but none of the Mungo's healers had even heard of it. It was shocking, to me at least, how ignorant the wizarding world is of mental health issues." He muttered.
"Depression is not something that has an easy fix. It is something that Hermione may struggle with for the rest of her life. Have any of you had any experience with Dementors?" She asked and recoiled when all three nodded. "Alright, well that feeling that you get when they're near? That all consuming, overwhelming sadness and the certainty that you will never feel happiness again?" Again, all three nodded, Harry most certainly, "That is what depression is known to feel like. The problem with potions and muggle medications, is that not all people react the same to them. I know that many muggles with depression have to try many different types of medication before they find one that works well for them."
"Are there other potions that we can try?" Blaise asked, glancing at Hermione who had yet to acknowledge that she was being talked about as though she wasn't there.
"There are, but I would like to further increase the dosage of her current one before resorting to changing it completely. The issue is, that some potions, when taken closely together, can react badly with one another and it's recommended that you completely stop one for a period before starting a new one. Obviously, I don't think that would be advisable in this case." Julia said and Blaise nodded in understanding.
"Is there anything we can do to help her otherwise?" Harry asked, stroking his friends hair.
"I would recommend, I think, that one of you remain here at all times, if possible. If not then I would feel better taking her back into the unit for observation." She told them.
The three men glanced at each other, having a silent conversation purely with their facial expressions. They were very obviously in sync when it came to the girl that they all cared for.
"We can do that. What about Draco?" Theo asked and Julia sighed.
"I know that Hermione will not be happy with what I am about to suggest, but I need to do what is in her best interests in regards to her current situation," She said and the three men looked intently at her, "I don't think that Hermione should see Draco at the moment."
"At all?" Blaise frowned.
"Not right now, no. We have discussed her feelings for him in depth and, while I firmly believe that her feelings now go no further than being platonic in nature," She heard Theo breathe a sigh of relief at this and smiled gently at him, "I still believe that she subconsciously associates Draco with feelings of abandonment. Does that make sense?" The three boys nodded.
"What about other... Relationships?" Theo asked shyly and she smiled broadly at him.
"Theo, I can see how much you care for Hermione and as long as you can promise me, as her therapist and somebody who has grown to care very much for her, that you will not hurt her intentionally or do anything to hinder her recovery, I see no reason why any relationship with you would do any harm. In fact, it might help her to improve." She said and Theo smiled gratefully.
"I've cleared an hour in my schedule every day to come and see how Hermione is doing and also to be available to the three of you if I'm needed. I know that caring for someone who is suffering depression can be quite draining, so if you do struggle, make sure that you talk to me, understood?"
The three boys agreed and, happy that she had done all she could for today, she instructed Blaise to up Hermione's dosage of potion to two drops twice a day before disappearing through the floo.
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Blaise watched as Theo picked Hermione up and held her in his arms as though he were frightened she might break before he carried her through to her bedroom. It had been an elightening morning and he had learned a lot from Julia. He was truly appreciative of all that the woman was doing for Hermione, and for all of them. He went into the kitchen to prepare three cups of tea. When he returned to the living room, Harry and Theo were sitting in silence, their faces concentrated in thought.
"Essentially," Harry started suddenly, "We are the Hermione suicide prevention team"
"Catchy name, Potter." Blaise snorted. "How are we going to do this?"
"I'll stay here all the time." Theo said immediately, "I don't want to leave her."
"You really do love her, don't you?" Harry asked, turning to Blaise when Theo nodded. "I have to work during the week, but I can be here after five if I'm needed."
"I'm sure we'll be fine during the week, but you'll be here next weekend, yes?" Harry nodded, "I live here, so I don't really get a choice." Blaise chuckled.
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Depression, Hermione had come to realise, sucks. She was sleeping for upwards of 18 hours a day and couldn't bring herself to eat or participate in real life. It's wasn't even like she didn't want to, it was almost as though she felt that she couldn't. Getting out of bed for long enough to use the toilet left her feeling physically drained and she just wanted to sleep.
She was well aware of all that was going on around her and had heard everything that Julia had said earlier, yet she didn't want to be a part of it. She wanted to disappear. Above anything else, she found herself feeling numb. Nothing hurt, nothing worried her and nothing excited her. She hated it, and if she could feel such emotion, it would terrify her.
The worst part of it was knowing that what she was doing was self destructive and still not doing anything about it. Yes, the sunshine might help improve her mood, but leaving the apartment felt like standing at the bottom of Mt Everest and looking up. Eating something would give her energy, but she didn't have the energy in the first place to bother. The patter circled around her until she felt like she was going dizzy with it.
She closed her eyes and pulled the blanket up over her head. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day