Headdeskfloorearthcore: NOT happy with the beginning of this, but my writer's block is keeping me from improving it further (i.e. staring at it and screaming) so here ya go!

Chapter 12

Howard Moon couldn't believe his luck! He had scored a job at the Zooniverse on the edge of Wimbledon. It was run by a stout man named Tommy Nooka, whom Howard immediately felt drawn to for his arcane wisdom and knowledge of the world. He was apparently a well-known explorer, and had traversed the world, bringing back artifacts for museums and animals for his zoo. One such item was an Egyptian statue of a head he had brought back about a year before Howard arrived. Nooka was more than happy to spin the tale of its discovery to Howard, who felt giddy and humbled to be in the presence of such a man of action. Nooka proudly displayed the statue on the wall of his office, for all to see. In his free time Howard liked to stare at it, imagining his own life under the teachings of Tommy. He too could one day be a true man of action, a great explorer.

The zoo itself was a magnificent menagerie of exotic creatures from the far corners of the earth. Howard found himself bowled over by the sheer beauty of the place! It was a modest-sized zoo, but it more than made up for it in class and pride. Howard got on relatively well with the other employees. He formed a sort of friendship with one man named Joey Moose, who had just started a few weeks before Howard.

Howard also found he needn't worry about a place to live. Nooka arranged for Howard to stay in the Keeper's Lodge, a small building in a corner of the zoo. It was a bit spooky at night, with nothing for company but the sounds of the animals, but it was better than scrounging the area for an apartment. His living on zoo ground caused a bit of an argument between Tommy and Dixon Bainbridge. Howard wasn't sure why his presence in the zoo at closing hours would bother Bainbridge so much, but from then on the man seemed to regard Howard with distaste. This dislike was shared with another guy named Robert Fossil, or Bob, as he preferred. He played the role of Bainbridge's lackey to the nines, trailing after the man, neglecting his own duties in the aquarium. Howard himself, after caring for the frogs and newts for a few weeks, was assigned over to hoofed mammals as his area to manage, and it was right next to the Reptile House.

Howard was tending to the antelope one evening, hauling a wheelbarrow of dung outside the enclosures, when he spotted her; Mrs. Gideon. He didn't know her name at the time, but he did know that he was absolutely smitten on the spot. She was exiting the Reptile House, and Howard floated after her without being aware of it. She headed for the main building, seemingly on her way to the Chief Manager office. Opening the door and stepping inside, Howard stood in the doorway, mouth hanging, in awe of her. He was so captured that he failed to notice that the door was on a spring mechanism, and it quickly swung back to meet him on the nose.

After that day Howard found out everything he could about her from the other keepers. She was a divorcee, and was older than Howard by a few years. She carried herself with such sophistication and poise that the poor young man couldn't help but go wobbly-kneed at the sight of her. He contented himself with spending his days looking after the deer and antelope, keeping a distant watch over Gideon any time she emerged from the depths of the Reptile House.

All in all, Howard felt that he couldn't be happier. He'd grown rather fond of the little antelope in their exhibits, and was even able to spend time with the other animals on his off hours. One such animal that grew a liking to him was a little fox kit that had been bought for the zoo by Dixon through shady means, Howard was sure. The poor little thing was terrified, alone in it's cage. Howard spent much of his free time feeding and nurturing the little guy, aptly named Cooper.

Howard developed a friendship with the various employees, and they would occasionally spend afternoons hanging around the centre of the zoo, chatting until closing hours. One strange man, Graham, insisted on seeing his zoo pass before letting him through the front gates after closing hours when Howard went out for groceries. He seemed to never be able to remember who Howard was, and often zapped Howard with his electrical baton until he gave in and showed his pass. Why they employed someone as incompetent as Graham for guard duty was beyond Howard.

Howard was still very much a loner, even as his school days grew distant and the years passed by him. He poured his heart into the zoo, even going out of his own field in the hoofed mammals to help out others in their areas. He found himself picking up the slack left by some of the less enthusiastic members of the Zooniverse, namely Fossil. He also enjoyed long afternoons either listening to Tommy's tales of adventure, or watching Gideon from the kitchen window of the Lodge, feeling quite like a creeper but not able to control himself.

Occasionally, when he lay awake at night, curled up on the small sofa in the Lodge, Howard's thoughts would stray from the deers' new diet to Bainbridge's latest quips at his expense, and eventually his mind would land on a certain child, who's long-lost pink coat continued to haunt the edges of Howard's dreams. In the passing years Howard had sent one letter to Vince's address. He never did receive a reply, which didn't surprise him. Oh, Howard's stomach knotted up just remembering that day. The day he finally told Vince that he was to be leaving. Because he was a blooming coward, Howard had told Vince the day before he was set to leave. In hindsight, this was a bad move.

Howard admitted that he was stunned at the boy's reaction. He'd truly underestimated how attached to him the child had become. Well, there was no sense in dredging up bad memories. That was all in the past, now three years ago. He had sent the letter about a month after his leave, and three years of no return letter was reply enough to Howard that the kid never wanted to speak to him again. It hurt Howard, deep deep down in the depths of his being where he refused to tread, it hurt to be brushed off and ignored by Vince.

And so Howard would lie awake into the late hours of the night, thinking about Vince. Poring over fond memories, and imagining what the boy might be up to. He had to be eleven years old now. Howard found himself unable to imagine what the child must look like at eleven, or even beyond. Surely even he had grown, petit little thing that he was. Howard just couldn't imagine those frail little bones stretching and growing out. No matter how many years passed by him, Howard would always remember Vince Noir as the eight-year-old little kid in that big pink coat.

Over the passing years Howard tried all he could to shove the memory of the child into a lock-box in his mind. He spent every waking minute on his job, investing all he had into the zoo and its animals. He spent every hour he could with his hero Tommy, who had taken him under his wing as a pupil of sorts, promising to take Howard with him on his next adventure in the coming year, deep into the heart of Spain.

Tommy's disappearance not two months later all but shattered Howard's heart. He was now left alone in this zoo, which quickly turned from a sanctuary into something foreign and ugly under the care of Bainbridge, who, as second-in-command, took up the role of owner over night. He named Fossil as the new Chief Manager; no surprise there. Fossil even took to wearing Bainbridge's old Manager's uniform, even though the clothes were much too small for the larger man. Together the two of them made damn sure that nothing of Nooka's dreams for the zoo remained. The menagerie wonderland was no more, replaced with a shoddy, run-down zoo, and Howard found himself dreading the days when he was made to act on the whims of Fossil, who loved nothing more than to send Howard out on mundane and useless tasks.

Howard considered up and leaving the zoo many times, but knew in his heart that he could never desert the place. To do so would be to abandon the memory of Tommy, and the animals who Howard still cared very much for. He did take up odd jobs here and there outside the zoo, though. He had to, Bainbridge had cut everyone's salary nearly in half, and most of the keepers quit that very day. They were soon replaced by people Howard had less hope for. They barely did their jobs, huddling together in the centre of the zoo, doing god-knows-what. One such shady employee was a short man everyone called Naboo. He set up a small kiosk right next to the Lodge, claiming to be a shaman. Of course, this was obviously a ruse. Anyone with eyes could see that what he was selling out his window certainly wasn't potions or spells. He even had the audacity to bring his slimy friends over during business hours, and smoke could be seen wafting through the cracks in the kiosk door, making Howard shake his head in disgust.

Howard very nearly cried when Bainbridge began selling many of the animals of the zoo. First the small asian elephant, then a few of the deer; next to go were the lemurs, and more followed. Howard didn't even want to keep count anymore. Howard got into a bit of a fist brawl with Fossil, when the man had tried to take Cooper. Howard hadn't won; he'd been laid out flat by the ex-soldier. But Fossil left Cooper well enough alone after that, so it was kind of a victory. Of course, this caused Fossil to begin spreading absurd rumors about the nature of Howard's bond with the little fox.

Bainbridge did buy a few animals for the zoo, although their quality was somewhat lacking. One such animal was Tony the prawn, an animal Howard was made to look after. Tony was more than a little creepy when one was alone in the aquarium with him. He would just stare up at Howard, making no move, even when offered food.

Another addition to the Zooniverse was Bollo, an ancient silver-backed gorilla, who Fossil let slip had been bought off of a local circus. The poor wretch was nearly deaf, and spent most his time sitting in his exhibit, listlessly playing with leaves. Howard tried to be friendly with him once, going into the cage and attempting to form a bond like the one he had with Cooper. This plan failed. Bollo hated men. Hated them all. He only ever let the female employees into his exhibit to feed him. The one time Howard went in there alone the ape had gone at him, fists raised high and shrieking terribly. Howard practically fazed through the cage door. After that he developed a slight disdain for the old ape. He didn't hate him, but damn was he never going near him again.

Only three other keepers aside from Howard stayed on. Graham was one, unfortunately. The other two were Moose and Gideon, who, like Howard, stayed out of love for the animals. Gideon would die before abandoning her precious snakes, and Moose felt likewise for his little marsupials. Howard was just glad that he wasn't the only one left in the Zooniverse who remembered the golden days when Tommy ran it. He and Joey even attempted one night to break into Fossil's office and drag up something to use as blackmail, but sadly came up emtpy-handed, aside from some embarrassing photos in a locked drawer.

Four more years passed in a daze for Howard. He stood, sporting a bit of a hangover, on the curb of town, trying desperately to sell some Batman capes he had found dumped out the back of a toy shop. He needed to sell these things, or else he might not have enough money to eat in the coming week. Bainbridge had cut their pay again! Most of the employees were now keeping outside jobs, which caused their performance in the zoo to plummet even further.

"Two pounds! Two pounds yer Batman cape!" Was the monotonous shouting Howard did at the passersbys. So far he had managed to sell one to the mother of a kid who'd kicked and screamed at her all the way down the block until she turned around with a defeated look and bought one off him. He really shouldn't have let Joey talk him into going to the pub again last night; he was sure to get a migraine if another car blared its horn like that. He closed his eyes to the bright daylight and continued his shouting, which felt more and more like a dirge as the hours ticked by.

"Two pounds! Batman capes! Two pounds, t-"

"Howard?"

Howard's voice went hoarse as his eyes flung open. That accent. No one had said his name in that accent since, well...

Standing a few metres from Howard, having nearly walked right past him, stood a fifteen year old Vince Noir. Howard knew that it had to be Vince. There was no mistaking that face, those eyes, and that voice. Howard's mouth hung open in shock as he beheld the child-no, the teen before him, clad in skinny purple jeans and sporting a pink shirt with a yellow skull on it. Paused beside him stood a taller teenager, looking uncertainly between Howard and Vince. Howard paid him absolutely no mind as he and Vince took simultaneous steps toward eachother, coming face to face. The kid had indeed grown; the image of the everlasting eight-year-old shattered in Howard's mind, replaced with this skinny kid who hardly reached Howard's shoulders. His hair was shaggy, coming over his ears and dyed black, with bizarre streaks of red spread through it. His nose was also bent oddly, different than Howard remembered it.

Silence rang out loudly for several lifetimes before Vince's face broke out into a supernova smile and he launched at Howard, wrapping bony arms around Howard's middle, trapping the man's arms stiff at his sides. He impulsively muttered out a "don't touch me", which went completely ignored by the kid, who laughed and clung to him tighter, face buried in Howard's chest. The embrace lasted only a few seconds, but Howard found it was hard to catch his breath, even as the boy let go and turned to his friend, beckoning him over animatedly.

"Leroy, this is my best mate! This here is Howard Moon. Me and him used to be inseparable. Ah, the glory days, yeah?"

Howard nodded slightly, and that was all the kid needed to break into another wide grin and begin talking rapidly. Howard couldn't make out half of what he was saying, his ears were rushing too loudly. He needed to sit down. Walking over to the curb, Howard sat down with a sigh, but whatever peace he'd hoped to gain was lost when he was joined by Vince, who sat much too close for Howard's liking. He'd forgotten over the years just how clingy the child was.

Vince continued talking, seemingly relaying his and Howards' 'good times' to Leroy, who appeared amused. Howard was just trying to ride out the shock of seeing the one person he never expected to again. This didn't make any sense. Vince couldn't be this ecstatic to see him. He hated him; he'd said so the day before Howard had left Mitcham, said so several times.

Vince never contacted him, not once. The memory of the letter, never returned, sent prickles of anger through Howard. How dare this kid not bother to reply to Howard's heartfelt letter, which he had slaved over for weeks, filling four full pages with apologies, comforting words, and invitations to visit. How dare he refuse contact with Howard for seven bleeding years! Knowing full well where Howard lived. And yet the kid had never written back, never called, never visited. Seven years. Howard had changed so much. He was nobody's keeper; certainly not fifteen year old boys dressed like girls who hugged him in the street despite them practically being strangers.

Howard couldn't take this; he couldn't take a minute more of this boy's prattling voice. It grated on his already burnt out nerves. The kid was practically plastered to his side, so Howard stood up abruptly, feeling very fed up.

"Don't touch me." He said clearly, looking down at Vince, who'd nearly toppled over. Vince looked up at him in bewilderment for a second, then laughed as he stood up.

"He's such a kidder, he's always sayin' that." He said, looking over at Leroy who smirked and nodded.

"I'm not joking. Don't ever touch me, are we clear?"

With that Howard swept off down the street, capes forgotten, and made his way toward the Zooniverse, where he knew Vince wouldn't be permitted to enter as the zoo was closed for Sunday. As he predicted, he heard the insistent clack of cowboy boots on pavement as Vince trailed after him, calling his name repeatedly. Leroy too began to tag along, although when Howard glanced at him as he turned a corner, he didn't seem very happy about chasing down a man he just met. Vince wasn't about to be put off, and Howard could hear the intense whisperings between the two as they followed Howard for several blocks. They were arguing, it appeared. Howard couldn't care less.

All the memories he'd left to gather dust had sprung forth out of that locked up box Howard had put them in. Seeing Vince had been the key that set them free to wreak havoc upon Howard's mind. Only now instead of longing sadness or comfort, the memories just served as fuel to Howard's need to put distance between himself and this kid.

This boy was insane, he remembered. Had given Howard heart failure many a time with his little stunts. Howard was certainly not going back to that. No way. He'd be dead before he was thirty! The kid had survived, just as Howard knew he would, for seven years without his help. He'd be fine for seven more, thank you very much.

They finally came upon the gate and Graham, who sat forward in his little chair with brows raised at the three of them. Forgoing their usual argument over his identity, Howard flashed his keeper's pass and slid quickly through the gates, leaving Vince and his friend on the outside world. He could still hear Vince yelling for him and Graham shouting back that the zoo was closed as he slammed the door to the Keeper's Lodge and locked it for good measure. Huffing, Howard sat on the couch and turned on the television, turning the volume up as loud as it would go to drown out the unwanted noise. Now if only he could as easily drown out these unwanted thoughts.

Several days went by and Howard didn't see the boy again. Even during business hours when visitors came few and far between, no sign of Vince. Howard wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. Perhaps the kid had gotten the message, that Howard Moon didn't want to see him ever again. Or maybe he just couldn't be bothered to pay the admission price.

Whatever the cause, Howard went about his routine, shoving each and every memory of the brat, along with this newest addition, back into the box and wrapping chains around it. He had been assigned a new position in the zoo. He was now to man the aviary, which was a surprisingly easy task. Usually Fossil gave him the most difficult positions, like primates. Hmm, must've been a slip of the hand. He just hoped Fossil didn't notice and change him back to the aquarium. Tony really spooked him.

Howard shrugged out of his Keeper jacket and prepared to make himself some tea. While the water boiled he went over to his old gramophone and started up a record, filling the small house with the fine tunes of Coltrane. Just as he made to settle onto the couch, cup in hand, he was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Upon opening it he was greeted with the sight of Joey Moose. Moose had been dragging him out to the local pubs every Saturday night for a few years now. It was either a vague attempt at forming a friendship, or Moose just didn't have anyone else to ever go with. Howard normally put up a protest before grudgingly giving in, but this night he felt he really needed something stronger than tea, and was out the door before Joey'd even uttered the usual invitation. The nearest pub was no more than a ten minute walk from the Zooniverse. Neither Moose nor Howard owned a car (Howard had sold his over a year ago), and they had long since grown accustomed to walking everywhere.

Stepping into the smoke-filled air of this rather shoddy brothel, Howard followed Moose over to the corner of the bar. Moose ordered their first drinks, and as was custom, almost immediately spotted someone he knew across the room and rushed over to them, shouting amiably. Howard was used to being left mostly to his own devices, and ordered more drinks as he watched the clock hand move across its face.

Through the haze of laughter and off-key singing, Howard thought he heard catches of a very familiar voice. Turning quickly to look around him, he spotted the goddamn boy, standing awkwardly on the other side of the pub. He seemed to be having a rough time, surrounded by burly men on all sides. They certainly didn't seem happy about Vince being in their pub, done up in eyeliner and rhinestones. Howard turned back to his drinks, but kept one ear keyed on the conversation that was rapidly escalating in volume.

"...don't cater to your types, got it? So you'd best just leave now, botty boy, 'fore somethin' unfortunate happens to that pretty face."

"Piss off, tosser."

No mistaking it, that was the kid's potty-mouth, alright. And it was sure to earn him a beating. Howard whipped around, coming off his stool and stumbling through the crowd; he had to get the kid out of there before he got himself killed!

Everything happened so fast after that. The men made for Vince at the same time. He ducked expertly, causing two of them to crash heads. Another grabbed Vince by the shoulder, but was put on the floor by Vince's fist to his jaw. That had Howard stopping in his haste through the surrounding crowd. When had the kid learned to hit like that! The man looked like he was getting up no time soon, as did the idiots who'd been involved in the accidental headbutt. The fourth thug wisely backed down, drawing away.

Vince's luck seemed to have run dry, however, as both his arms were trapped behind him by one of the remaining men. Howard continued in his struggle through the massing bodies as the sixth man gave a swift punch to Vince's stomach. The kid may have learned a thing or two about fighting, but so had Howard. He launched into the circle created by the surrounding spectators, and delivered quite a nice upper-cut to the bloke currently punching Vince repeatedly about his midsection. The guy crashed backward into the crowd, causing a tangle of bodies and limbs. Vince, coughing slightly, kicked backward with the heel of his boot, and apparently caught the guy trapping his arms right on target, because the asshole immediately let go of Vince and pitched forward, clutching the crotch of his trousers.

Before Howard could think of what to do next, his hand was grabbed by Vince and he was yanked through the gathered pub patrons who were now shouting all manner of curses at them. He could vaguely hear Joey in the din, calling his name. Flying through the front door, Howard was ushered further down the street until he was forced to turn a sharp corner into a narrow alleyway. Finally able to stop, Howard gulped in a lungfull of fresh night air, looking over at Vince, who was bent over, arms around his stomach, panting heavier than Howard.

That dead paternal urge in Howard was resurrected slightly as he moved to stand beside the kid, placing one hand on his shoulder and another on his arms, signaling him to drop them. Vince stood straight, still breathing harshly, as Howard lifted his shirt a bit to see if he'd been caught by a ring or something. Those fucking bar thugs were always wearing rings on their fingers. Howard had seen one fight where a man got hit by a fist with three rings. He never thought simple jewelry could cut somebody up like that.

Luckily no such marks littered Vince's stomach, just red blotches that were soon to be blossoming bruises. Howard breathed deeply in relief, then stepped sharply away from the boy, flinging his arms into the air.

"What do you think you were doing in there!? That's a pub! You're, what, fifteen? And anyway, what are you doing going about dressed like that!? You look like a freakin' girl!"

Vince shifted a bit where he stood, mouth tight and looking very much like the mirage of a time long ago. It made Howard feel a bit dizzy, so he focused hard on the boy's words.

"Well, you went in there, and...I was...Kinda, maybe followin' you."

"Stalking, more like! Just how did you know I'd be going out tonight, anyway!"

Howard was getting a sense of horror in his stomach, which grew as Vince talked, looking guiltily at the dirty ground as his voice came out slightly strained.

"Ah, well, you see, I've been..." Vince heaved a heavy sigh and looked Howard in the face, seeming to decide to stop acting shame-faced and be direct. "Yes, alright, I been followin' you. For like five days now I've been coming to where you work and creepin' about watching you. I was...I didn't think you were up to speakin' to me just yet."

Vince went back to studying his boots and Howard studied Vince, eyes narrowed in utter confusion.

"I thought you hated me. I thought you never wanted to see me again. That day, you went absolutely stark raving mad! You...you never even wrote back. Why, why, why, on earth would you bloody stalk me if you hated me!?"

Vince's head shot up at the initial 'hated', and through Howard's speech his eyebrows drew further down. With a rueful shake of his head, Vince gave a mirthless laugh.

"I don't hate you, Howard, you nonce! I never did. I was a little kid, for christ's sake! I didn't know what I was sayin', what I was doing, I-"

"You smashed my bloody guitar."

"Yeah...yeah, I did. Sorry about that. I felt right awful, soon as I'd done it. Remember? I up and ran, then and there. I just...I was little! I...You were the first friend I'd ever had. First real friend. First friend I ever wanted. I never thought you'd leave. I was such a spaz, I'd made imaginary plans of us growing old, together in good ol' South London. Stupid, innit?"

"Doesn't mean you can...just go traipsing into pubs..."

Howard couldn't finish his sentence, mouth clamping shut instinctively as he felt bile rising in his throat. He stood there with his eyes closed, hand pressed over his forehead. He definitely didn't want to vomit in a slimy alleyway like a drunk. He heard Vince shuffle slowly closer to him. If he wasn't afraid of opening his mouth at the moment, Howard would have uttered another "don't touch me" as Vince stood literally toe to toe with him. The kid had changed as well, that was for sure. He was still very much the same little boy Howard remembered, but there was something off about him now. Something different. Some foreign way in which he carried himself, and the way he was behaving around Howard. It was different. The same, but not. It had Howard more than a little on edge as he kept his eyes closed and fought off waves of nausea.

Feeling heat coming off of Vince's body and mingling with his own, Howard heard the sound of fabric shifting as Vince leaned forward, head almost resting on his chest. He felt the breath of the boy's words ghost over the front of his shirt.

"Je suis désolé."

With a start Howard staggered away from Vince to clutch onto a brick wall and proceeded to puke his guts out.

(I hate begging, but please comment any feelings/hatred/ramblings. Seriously the comment box is right below this! It really does help motivate me, and I'm at a bit of a loss in this story right now...I already have the ending in my head, but I'm quite unsure of how to get there. And a BIG HUG to those who review regularly. You're a big help!)