Chapter eight
Daniel stepped into the kitchen, hoping to catch Hannah alone for a few minutes. He had been thinking about what Guthrie had said earlier and it was gnawing at him. He could remember when he was a little boy, how good it felt to be able to talk to his mother when he had a problem. That was a luxury Guthrie had never had until Hannah joined the family.
There was just something soothing about talking to Hannah that Daniel realized felt a lot like talking to his own mother all those years ago. He had been relieved to see Guthrie form a close bond with his brother's wife, almost from the very beginning.
He figured that it had been something Guthrie needed that none of his brothers could supply. Daniel had even voiced this to Crane once or twice, but he had never said anything to Hannah or the rest of the family. Crane understood and had said he felt the same way. Daniel had never felt a need to discuss it with anybody else until now.
"Hey Hannah." Daniel said, nervously walking into the kitchen. He was unsure of what he was going to say, but he needed to discuss Guthrie with her, sooner rather than later.
"Hey Daniel." Hannah replied with a smile. She blushed when the boy walked over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
This had become a normal thing for him to do, Hannah realized. It was rare that any of the other McFadden boys showed her such personal affection, with the exception of Adam. But it was a normal thing for Daniel to do.
Hannah had surmised early on that he and Crane were more gentle; more soulful, than the others. For this reason Daniel had managed to become very dear to her. While Crane always seemed to instinctively know when something was bothering her, Daniel did too and he usually went out of his way to reassure her that things would be alright when she was worried. Adam had given her lots of reasons to worry as he often put himself and his brothers into dangerous situations, without stopping to recognize how it frightened her. She could always count on Daniel or Crane to try to ease her fears with a kind word or, more so in Daniel's case, a supportive hug or peck on the cheek.
She had recognized a similar trait in Guthrie, though she admittedly figured it was more likely his age rather than his character. He was a lot more like Adam and Brian than was good for him. The boy brought her a lot of joy, but at the same time scared her to death.
Guthrie was more like her son than a brother. She felt that she was more invested in his life, whether it was giving him advice, helping him with homework or patching up his physical... and emotional wounds.
"You got a minute to talk about Guthrie?" He asked politely, quickly washing his hands and picking up a pairing knife to join her in peeling the potatoes that were currently warranting her attention.
"He's alright, isn't he?" She said, suddenly seeming alarmed.
"Yeah, he's fine. He's in the barn with Crane and Ford." Daniel explained.
"Whew. Don't scare me like that Daniel." She said. "So, where did you find him?" she continued to ask.
"He and Eddie were down at the swimming hole with some other friends." Daniel explained.
"Okay. So what's on your mind?" She asked, looking worriedly at her brother in law.
"Well. He's pretty upset with all of us. He's feeling pretty put out. I guess, we're pushing him around too much for his liking." Daniel explained.
"How many times have I tried to tell y'all that?" Hannah asked with a laugh.
"I know, I know... and I get it, but... he's just a kid. All we want is for him to have a real childhood. We don't want him to have to worry about whether the bills are gonna get paid, you know?" Daniel said.
Hannah nodded her head in understanding. "I realize that, but Guthrie doesn't. He feels like he's not included. Like, he's not one of the guys." She explained.
"But Hannah, it's always been us against the world. Adam and Brian did the best they could for us, but when Mom and Dad died they were just kids too when you think about it. They made mistakes, I guess. They really didn't hide our problems from us because they didn't know any better. They were doing all they could to keep us together and keep the ranch afloat."
"Okay. That makes sense, but as far as Guthrie is concerned, I'm not sure I follow you." Hannah said.
"Well, there were a lot of nights when I was Guthrie's age, or maybe even younger... that I put my head to the pillow, worrying about things like whether or not we were gonna lose our ranch next month... or next week. And if we did lose it, where were we going to go? How would we live? What would we eat? We had some hard times then, compared to now. It was a big burden to shoulder for a bunch of kids. I think we all bear some scars from it."
"Adam's never really shared any of that with me." Hannah said thoughtfully.
"Knowing Adam, he's probably never had enough time to think it through. He's in charge of all of this and it's a big responsibility. I'm betting he's never slowed down long enough to consider the consequences of how we were brought up." Daniel explained.
"Oh he thinks about it, trust me. But he may not realize how it's affected each of you. But Daniel, I know he has always tried to do the very best by all of you." Hannah explained.
"Oh, I know that and that's not my point." He replied nervously.
Okay, so what is your point? I'm not sure I'm following you." Hannah said, clearly concerned.
"Well, you see, It's just seems to me... to all of us I guess-that we should shield Guthrie from that kind of burden."
"Oh, I see. That makes sense." Hannah said.
"We've all worked hard to get the ranch to where it is now, but as far as Guthrie goes, we've tried not to let him in on all of our troubles. I guess without even discussing it we all made up our minds that we were gonna give him a chance to really be a kid." Daniel exhaled. He studied his sister in law, hoping that she really understood him.
"So you guys just want him to enjoy his childhood." She said, smiling softly. Then added, "but all he's getting out of it is that he isn't needed." Hannah replied.
"Right. All this time, we've been trying to do right by him and he's been taking it to mean that we don't need him. That he doesn't matter." Daniel said, his head dropping to stare at the floor.
"So, why are sharing this with me? Why don't you share it with Guthrie." Hannah asked, reaching out and pulling Daniel's chin up so that his eyes met hers.
"Well, I tried to earlier. I just couldn't find the words at the time. But, I'm thinking you could do a better job of it... sort of fix what we screwed up? I can remember when I was little, our Momma used to fix everything. If we broke something, she could fix it. If we broke ourselves... she could fix us. You know?" Daniel said, with a nervous laugh Hannah recognized all too well.
"So you're asking for a mother's touch?" Hannah smiled.
"Well, you're so good with him... he seems to respond to you. I think he's needed you for a long time. So, I was hoping you could help him understand where we're coming from. Give him a fresh perspective, I guess." Daniel explained with a shy half grin.
"I'll think on it. Maybe I can talk to Guthrie... and Adam, too." She added.
"Hannah? Make sure that if you talk to Adam, he knows that we appreciate everything he's done for us. I mean, it's not his fault. We all know that he and Brian did the best they could." Daniel said nervously.
"Of course I will, Daniel." Hannah replied. It was her turn to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry." She added. "Everything will work out fine." She said. "You really are a good brother, you know that?"
"Nah, I'm just the middle brother. I'm sitting on the fence of the generation gap and can see on both sides." He explained, laughing as he walked out of the kitchen.
As Hannah watched him leave, she realized that somehow, Daniel had been born into the family in the right order. It had to be divine intervention she thought quietly, that had intentionally placed him squarely in the middle of this brood.
She found herself praying that the same divine intervention had somehow led her to this family. She hadn't chosen to be a mother to any of these boys, or to be the only woman in this house, so she was hoping now that the Man upstairs knew what he was doing when he had put her here.