[Patrick]
I guess you could say I overreacted with the Red John thing. How could I not, with Angela and Charlotte in danger? I would be too afraid to go to work and leave them all alone. I wanted the CBI to stop him, stop the innocent killing. That was obviously too much to ask, since they had no clue from 7 years back. Being sort of a celebrity, they had been asking me to join their forces, with my psychic powers, yada yada. Of course I refused. I hated violence.
Unknown to anybody else, though, I had been figuring things out on my own. I realized Red John's killing patterns were never stable, or there were things the victims did that weren't released to the public. I was proud to say I was a person of strong moral rights. I detested people with unreasonable actions that involved hurting. Not to mention killing. I wanted to help, but I was afraid I would put my family into danger. I wasn't "The Boy Wonder" from 20 years ago anymore. Angela was carnival royal no more. We were vulnerable in this world, and I wasn't willing to take too big a risk.
After that night I left work reluctantly, only leaving because we needed the steady income. Angela had already quit her work to take care of Charlotte. We did not enclose any of the Red John information to her, fearing to taint her little mind, but we guessed she figured out as much, that a murderer was on the loose. She was a little angel, really.
A few days later, my colleagues called me to a feast. I didn't see any reasons to decline so I went. We finished countless bottles of champagne and French wine. It wasn't usually I got drunk, and I kind of forgot how easily that could happen. All I knew was that with Charlotte added into our lives things got a lot more complicated, we had to act a lot more mature, we weren't a free couple anymore. We had priorities, we had responsibilities. Sometimes they build up to a huge mount and overwhelm me, and it's suffocating. That was the last thing I had in mind, that and the need to release the stress and responsibility, before the fuzzy warmth and numbness took over.