(Return to) The Discworld Tarot
Major Arcana 21: The Universe
21: The Universe
how could I have missed one entire Major Arcana card? But I did and this is it. Also known as Aeon, The Universe, or The World, this is the culmination of the Tarot journey. The Fool has passed through every station and visited every destination and learned new wisdom at each stop. Now the Perfected Fool is master of his world, at the top of the Wheel, and the cycle is closed.
And then begins again, like those computer games where you slog and fight to ascend a level or get to the end, only to get THE WINNER IS YOU flashing up on screen for three seconds before it all begins again.
And while you are thinking "Is that it? Is that all I get?" the scene shifts and the picture fades and you are once again The Fool, on that cliff top with the dog barking at your heels.
This card is about completion, the end of one cycle and the beginning of another, of earning the experience points, ascending to the next curve of the spiral and looking down at where you were and wondering how a younger you could have been so dumb/ stupid/ behaved like that. This card is Recursion. The serpent Ourobourus, encircling the world with its tail in its mouth. (Some versions of this card have the World-Serpent as a motif)
Of course, another way for the Fool to complete the cycle and begin again, carrying over a degree of enhanced wisdom and a necessary karmic bundle, is...
The family huddled around the bedside leaned in, expectantly. The old man in the bed had been the de facto Headman, Sage, Leader and Venerable Elder of the sprawling and rather unique township for as long as anyone could recall. He'd even been born here, a long time ago. Many of the people in the village of Nepas Ultra had arrived here, in the usual course of events, slightly traumatised but grateful for a new lease on life. And now the Sage was dying, his time was up.
The white-haired old man smiled weakly up at his descendants, who ranged right down to toddlers and babes in arms. It had been a good life, but it was now time to depart. There was one thing left to do. He noticed, vaguely, the space that had opened up in the throng surrounding what in a few seconds would be his deathbed. Was that a shimmering in the air just there/ not a lot of time left, then. He gestured, weakly. The extended family drew closer.
He had to say this. He had to say it now. A hundred and seven years old, and a lifetime of hard work alternating with philosophical reflection, out here on Nepas Ultra, had crystallised into a single moment of Illumination, of diamond-sharp realisation, now that he stood on the brink of another Edge and was about to fall over...
"I have the Secret." he whispered, hardly audibly. "Before I go, I must relate it. I have the Secret of Life, The Universe, and Every..."
There was a shimmering and whooshing in the air that only the old man could see.
"You bastard." he said, sitting up in bed as the blue thread of Life snapped, recoiled, and was gone. He didn't bother looking down at himself lying in bed: he knew what he'd see. There was no point, really.
"You complete bastard. Couldn't you have waited a few seconds? That's not much to ask, a hundred and seven years and a few last seconds. That's neither here nor there to you."
Death stood impassively as the hourglass in his bony hand popped out of existence. In his other hand, the scythe snapped itself closed.
I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY. He said. BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE PEOPLE REVEALING THE ULTIMATE SECRET ON THEIR DEATHBED. CAN'T BE DONE. SORRY.
Around the deathbed, the family looked at each other as the corpse began cooling and emitted a last dying rattle. The second-oldest man in the room, the dead man's brother, realised as he leant in close that he was now Headman and Sage by default. A hundred and one years old, he paused, trying to decipher words in the last breath.
This had better be good, he thought. He'd had little glimmerings of Illumination over the past few years. He frowned. Had that been...
"Well?" his daughter nudged him, impatiently.
The old man and new Sage paused.
"I think he said something... about Forty-two?"
Not unkindly, Death ushered the former Headman and Sage away from the throng. He reached down and scratched a purring appreciative cat behinds the ear. Cats had found their own way to Nepas Ultra on the not unreasonable grounds that where there were humans, there was a warm dry place and a free meal.
IT WOULD JUST CAUSE TOO MUCH BOTHER IF THEY KNEW. NOW COME AWAY, MY FRIEND. LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING.
They walked through a suddenly intangible wall and into thin air. The former Sage looked down and up at the improbable village of Nepas Ultra for the last time. The houses had been scavenged from shipwrecks and flotsam and other materials that had, in the normal course of events, come their way. Stairs and ladders connected the various levels. The general visual impression was of a desirably upscale shanty town, built up and down the Edge as and where Nature allowed. The Rimfall thundered and gleamed and sparkled in the near distance. He looked out to the Catchnets. Hmm, Number Three needed to be swung in and emptied. Looked like a couple of new arrivals in there... he shook himself. It wasn't his problem anymore.
"I wonder where it all goes." he mused, thoughtfully. "You'd think all the rivers and seas up there would have emptied by now."
He'd never walked on the Upper Disc, but he'd heard the stories from those who had, and read some of the books they occasionally got, dried out, and placed in the Library. He still found it hard to visualise places where people built Along rather than Up.
ARRANGEMENTS ARE MADE. Death said, neutrally.
The old man sighed. Looking back, he said a conditionally final goodbye. He had, after all, now become as they are. It was expected.
TAKE MY HAND. Death said. THIS NEXT BIT IS TRICKY. DO NOT BE AFRAID.
The old man felt no fear. Then when the white horse appeared, they started to fly.
"Is reincarnation an option?" the old man asked, as his essence faded.
IT'S UP TO YOU. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN. WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN IS WHAT YOU GET.
The old man's last memory of Life was the whole of the Disc opening out below him for the first time. His ethereal heart sang with the beauty of it.
I want to explore this place. There's always so much more to know and experience...
As he faded out completely, Death slowed Binky to a canter and looked at the next hourglass in the day's Duty. Another day, another ending...
Ponder Stibbons watched the simulation HEX was running on the Omniscope. It was complex. It was taking up a lot of expensive run-time. But it was worthwhile. HEX was simulating various possible worlds and defining how gravity would apply to each of them.
++On a sphere, such as Roundworld, gravity focuses to a notional point right in the centre of the sphere.++ Thus, the effect is relatively simple, as gravity exerts the same influence regardless of where you stand on the surface of the sphere.++This is how Roundworld works.++ Now let us explore Carrotworld.++
A new world appeared on the screen. At one ends it was a perfectly normal Disc, flat and round, but below the surface of the World it tapered off as a recognisable cylindrical shape, tapering to a point.
"Does this exist anywhere in the Universe, HEX?" Ponder asked.
++All things are possible in an infinite Multiverse, Professor Stibbons.++ HEX said. ++There are such things as Midgards, Middle-Earths which are conventional Discs, but unsupported by elephants or turtles.++
"Wouldn't a Midgard be dangerously unstable, HEX?" asked Ponder.
++No more or less than any other world, Professor.++ For a thing to be unstable it requires a medium to be unstable in.++ Space is a vacuum.++
HEX briefly described the peculiar gravitational effect a Carrotworld would exert and the variable gravitational field that would make life difficult the nearer you got to the pointy end. Then he moved to discussing the relatively straightforward mechanics of gravity on a Midgard, a standalone Disc with neither elephants nor turtles. HEX concluded life would be perfectly possible here, not just on one side of the Disc but on both sides, like two halves of a coin. It was perfectly feasible there could be civilisations in such a world that had grown up in complete ignorance of each other. Perhaps one side had perfected means of moving from Heads to Tails and could travel between both at will, whilst a less developed race on the other side had no such technomancy. The advanced civilisation might be looked up to as some sort of gods or semi-divine race, or else as visitors from other planets entirely, as aliens from elsewhere in the host Galaxy.
+And this is an Ouroborous.++ It is a Midgard world, but with a world-encircling serpent wrapped around the rim, securing itself by holding its tail in its mouth.++ It is no less incredible than elephants and turtles, and must exist somewhere.++
Ponder watched, enthralled.
++And so we arrive at the standard Discworld, with elephants and turtles.++ We know at least nine such exist in the Universe.++ We have observational evidence of the birth of eight others.++(1) This told us much about the birth, evolution and mechanics of our own Discworld.++
"Carry on, HEX." Ponder said.
++There are six discrete components of a Discworld as we know it.++If you count those Discworlds that managed to retain a fifth Elephant, they have seven.++ This is not counting satellite systems such as suns, moons, and galactic dung beetles, all of which exert a minimal but noticeable gravitational attraction which is known to affect both mundane and magical tides.++
"Galactic dung beetles are a myth, surely, HEX?"
HEX made a noise that sounded to Ponder is if it were a derisory snort.
"You should know, Professor, that myths have force.++Narrativium dictates this.++ Ancient civilisations such as Tsort and Djelibeybi devised sophisticated astronomy and they have no doubt of the existence of, i Scarabaeoidea Galacticus. /i ++Indeed, you would be well advised to believe i/b/u right now u/b/i in the existence of the god Scrab.++
"Yes, but the gravitational field of the Disc?" Ponder said, impatiently. Galactic dung beetles could wait(2): and Scrab was only a local God in far-away Tsort and Djelibeybi, on the other side of the Circle Sea.(4)
++It is complex.++It is dictated by the interaction of six cosmically large masses. ++The Disc itself, the four elephants, and Great A'Tuin, the world turtle. ++ Regard.++
Hex showed a picture of the Discworld system. Lines of force radiated around it, moving dynamically and intersecting each other from several discrete sources, moving and changing subtly with the movement of the Disc and the orbit of various satellite bodies.
++You will see the lines of gravitational force periodically intersect, reinforce, and cancel each other out. ++ Among other things, these contribute to, but do not cause, the Disc's magical standing wave that wizards and witches draw upon as the reserve of their power.++ An interesting, and indeed life-sustaining, secondary effect of this complex gravitational field may be seen in the Disc's hydrostatic circulation.++
"Hydrostatic circulation?"
++Otherwise known as the hydrologic cycle.++ This is the means by which the Disc's waters circulate and are conserved.++The variable but predictably inconstant nature of the Disc's gravity serves to suck the water flowing off the Rimfall into seas on the underside of the Disc.++ These seas are as yet uncharted, but their existence may be surmised.++ Water from these seas is then drawn back through the Disc and filtered by its passage through the rock and substrata.++Dwarfs and Trolls are aware of underground rivers and lakes and have long capitalised on these as sources of water in seriously deep mines and caverns.++ The water continually cycles back to the surface and replenishes the rivers and seas we can see.++ At places where there is a gravity nexus, such as the Great Nef Desert, no water at all reaches the surface and indeed is actively diverted away, and has done for millenia upon millenia.++ Such water from the Rimfall as is vaporised into steam is lighter and is drawn up in the form of clouds.++As every condition must have an opposite, there are areas of the Disc which have an higher than average rainfall.++ Llamedos, for instance, has the phenomena of rain volcanoes, which return water to the system in the form of dense black rainclouds.++ Indeed, Llamedos is a net producer of rain.++ You have heard of the famous Rain Mines of Llamedos?++
Excited, Ponder listened to the summation, intellectually grasping what HEX was telling him. He watched the print-out writing itself. This, he thought, would be good for a research paper in the Scientifick Pseudopolitian. And another little victory over the intellectual opposition at Braseneck... he frowned.
"Do you hear anything, HEX?"
There was a distant and growing whistling sound followed by a loud noise and an impact that made the ground shake. The distant sound of large heavy things falling to earth made Ponder wince. Hex's recording quill leapt up and down the paper.
"Whoops..." said Ponder Stibbons, and he ran to the door of the HEM. He heard a distant dopplering bellow of "StiBBBBONS!" as he looked at the damage. It had only been a small meteorite, but it was enough: the impact crater was right in the middle of the courtyard and several windows had broken.
Ponder looked up.
"Scrab, I believe." he said, fervently. "I believe you exist. Just spare me the wrath of Mustrum Ridcully, that's all!"
Dai Laughin trudged up the pathway to the Twyllglaw Rainiery, as he did every working shift. He huddled in his heavy-duty raincoat and thought longingly to his annual holiday down in Quirm, where he actually got to glimpse the sun now and again and there was an evens chance of staying dry. But rain-mining was well-paid work, and the Mine was forward thinking: it employed an Igor these days to deal with outbreaks of trench-foot and fungal infections.
Llamedos was one of very, very, few places on the disc where human expertise in mining even approached that of the Dwarfs. Indeed, men and Dwarfs worked in harmony alongside each other, pooling and sharing their skills, and other rare species on the disc such as mer-people and nixies and naiads found both sanctuary and gainful employment.(5)
He exchanged a bore'da! with Dai Llincode, the gateman, and clocked in. Another day, another dollar...
It was a fairly easy shift in Pit Number Eleven, manning the pump that diverted the flow from the deep wells. Taming the rain-volcano here at Mynnydd Glwyb had been a triumph of co-operation between Men and Dwarfs. But then, they all spoke the same language and counted each other as Llamedosian. Mining of any sort created its own brotherhood. OK, so when it came to pel-y-troed, fifteen-a-side football, the Dwarfs played in their own Little League.(7)
"Prevailing wind Rimwards by Widdershins. Release fifty million cubic feet of number five nimbus. Should be over Ankh-Morpork by tomorrow."
"Fifty million, number five." repeated Dai. He and a dwarf workmate set about moving the wheel that opened the main valve. A rumble of pent-up pressure began somewhere deep in the earth. Under its own pressure, fifty million gallons of water vapour would soon emanate from the volcano's crater. Although the sides of the mountain were festooned with signs saying "Perygl!" and "Danger!" in several different languages and orthographies, it didn't put off unwary or thrill-seeking mountaineers.
"Good man, Dai!" said the dwarf.
Dai grinned. Tisian Twllcor the dwarf was alright by him. Dai Derdeath the supervisor gave a thumbs up.
"Next job's a twenty million number six. Just waiting for this lot to clear and the wind to change. Should move a couple of points nearer to Rimwards, then we can send one to Quirm." he said.
The three of them paused, reflectively.
"Wonder where it all comes from?" mused Tisian, the dwarf. "I mean, there seems to be no shortage of it."
"Apparently it all slops off the side of the world at the Rimfall, gets gathered up and comes back again." said Dai Derdeath.
There was a pause. None of the three had ever seen the Rimfall.
"Or so that's what they say." Dai Derdeath added.
"Makes a kind of sense." Dai Laughin said, speculatively.
"What goes around, comes around." said Tisian. He sneezed.
"Sorry, that's working in the wet for you." the Dwarf apologised. He had a permanent red nose.
"They say Vetinari wants to open up the old canals and aqueducts again. The big city's growing all the time, and they need a good water supply."
"Bloody Saes, stealing our water!" Dai Laughin said, automatically.(8)
"Keeps us in a job, mun. And they pay for it. Low King Rhys has got Vetinari by the groniau on this one!"
"Can't see that. That old cachwyr cyfrwys has always got a way out of it. He'll offer Rhys some sort of counter-deal and get the water on the cheap."
"Still. Rebuilding the old Latatian canals and aqueducts will be one big undertaking. It will cost him." said Dai Laughin.
Tisian shrugged. "I went to see family in the city. There's still an old aqueduct coming in from Hubwards-by-Turnwise. Runs half the length of the city. All he's got to do is do it up and connect it to a supply."
Dai Derdeath pinched out his cigarette as the shuddering of heavy machinery subsided.
"OK, lads! Next job, twenty million Number Six strato-cumulous to Quirm. Look lively!"
And the job of rain-making continued.
(1) This indeed is the case, as seen in Terry Pratchett's The Light Fantastic.
(2) Although Ponder did consider his girlfriend, Johanna Smith-Rhodes, would be annoyed if he didn't ask HEX to summate the evidence for their existence so that she might have another exotic animal species to study.(3) This trumped the more immediate prospect that a God might be annoyed with him for denying that God's existence and rational for having come into being. Hey, trained Assassins are nearer than Gods. Gods may walk among us, unseen and unheard; Assassins definitely do.
(3) It would take a very big Zoo habitat to confine one, and Johanna was realistic enough to know there was no prospect of a field study any time soon. Although she had lingering hopes of going on the next space mission as an Assassins' Guild representative.
(4) Ponder was an intellectual. One of the Disc's leading scientific thinkers, in fact. But on any world, a given is that intellectuals are not greatly skilled at thinking out more mundane, worldly, problems. It's like Mr Nutt, enthusiastically wanting to discuss crowd psychology and the sociopatholgy of over-crowded juvenile rats with Andy Shank and his posse. Denying the existence of Gods causes bother. Well-known fact.
(5) Sentient humanoid species with gills who can breathe underwater? You run a rain-mine. Employing them in the deeper shafts is a no-brainer. Mermen for saltwater mines, nixies and naiads for the freshwater, and Temperance Sirens (6) too. For any sentient species on the Disc, with the possible exception of Elves, there is an employment niche.
(6) Temperance Sirens have learnt from Black Ribbon Vampires. They have forsworn luring men to their doom in deep treacherous waters and instead have knuckled down to earning a honest dollar. They wear a deep purple ribbon to symbolise their form of temperance and now work as a rescue service in the deep rain mines, helping miners to safety in the event of a pit collapse.
(7) Nobody called it the Little League where Dwarfs could hear it. Dwarf rugby is very like the human sort, only played in chain-mail jerseys with strictly no axes or horned helmets allowed. It appeals to the pent-up aggression in the race which Dwarfs are normally careful not to display underground.
(8) This is a long-standing grievance on the part of Welsh nationalists. Whole villages were submerged to make reservoirs to contain water to feed Liverpool, Birmingham and Manchester. The export of Welsh water to England is seen as a tax-resource-in-being to an independent Wales – England can bloody well pay for our water, or we turn the tap off. There were similar rumbles in Llamedos. But the prevailing opinion was that we've got to control and direct the flow out of those bloody volcanoes. so why not make a bob or two out of it, we've got more bloody rain than we know what to do with... if it rains over Ankh-Morpork and not here, and they even pay us for it, then result.
Word of frustration: I was trying to write in a certain textual joke in HEX-speak - where HEX is italicising, or using bold for effect, writing in the accepted write-up code for "open italics" and "close italics" before and after the speech. for some reason the formatting won't let me. Damn.