Chapter ten

"Okay Hannah, I'm listening." Adam said, sounding every bit as defeated as he felt.

"I had a chat with Daniel this afternoon after he brought Guthrie home. He seems to think that Guthrie needs some reassurance of his worth in this family." Hannah said, easing herself onto the couch to sit beside her husband. She studied him as she spoke. She could see the worry and frustration in his eyes. She wondered to herself when the last time was that he worried about anything other than his family. She figured it must have been years.

"And?." Adam asked, reaching out to take Hannah by the hand. He was willing and ready for someone to help him with these boys. Whether Hannah knew it or not, she was an answer to his prayers.

"He feels like Guthrie is suffering the consequences of being sheltered by the family." Hannah began.

"Sheltered? I'm not quite getting you, hon." Adam replied.

"Well, I think Guthrie's upbringing was a little easier than the rest of the boys. I mean, you and Brian were thrust into parenting when you were still kids yourselves... and apparently it had a strong impact on all of the boys."

"The rug got pulled out from under all of us, that's true enough. But we handled it." Adam said.

"That's right. You all handled it, collectively. But Guthrie was so young, he doesn't remember any of that. You guys just sort of... reacted to a new normal, so to speak. Adam, from Crane on down to Ford, they remember life with your parents as head of the family and how things changed when you and Brian took over the responsibility. It affected all of you. It has shaped who each of you are and the six of you share something with each other that Guthrie doesn't.

"We have losing our parents in common? You think that has something to do with Guthrie's behavior now?" Adam asked, completely at a loss.

"Not exactly. What you all have in common is protecting an innocent little brother from a cruel world. You can't honestly tell me that you wouldn't go back in time and try to prevent your parent's deaths somehow if you could." Hannah explained.

"Well, sure. That goes without sayin'. I'm pretty sure any of us would." Adam replied, still confused.

"But none of you can. But what you can do is protect Guthrie from feeling that kind of hurt; from feeling the fear and the loss of normalcy. You all had to be scared to death, so it seems logical to me that you would want a different life for him. You want to let him experience a childhood free from worrying about what life is gonna do to you next."

"Okay, so I guess we are guilty of sheltering him, but what's so wrong with that?" Adam asked.

"Nothing, Adam. Absolutely nothing. It's honorable of you all, but Guthrie doesn't understand what this is. All he can see is that you guys go out there everyday and do what it takes to keep this ranch afloat while you tell him to go off and play. It's like the six of you are in this fraternity that's staring him in the face and he wants in; but the exclusive members keep turning him away. It makes him feel unwanted. Do you see?"

"I guess it makes some sense. But I don't get why it's coming up now, Hannah." Adam said in exasperation.

Hannah reached over and ran her hand gently down the side of Adam's face.

"It's his age, honey. It's part of growing up. He feels like he's old enough to 'join the club'. I guess in his mind he figured that when he became a teenager, you guys would stop looking at him as a child and include him more." She said.

"Well, I'm not about to start treating him like an adult. Childhood is an important part of life and I'm not going to screw that up for him- and I'm not going to let him screw it up, either. Hannah, I know I made mistakes with those boys. I know they didn't have an ideal childhood and that hurts me... because I did. My childhood was pretty great." Adam explained.

"Yes, but it was cut short too. You were a happy kid one day and a grown man the next... literally, and so was Brian."

"I guess, but I still wish I could have done better by them... and I aim to do better by Guthrie. We have to make him understand that." Adam said.

"We will. Let me talk to him."Hannah said sweetly. "He's a good boy Adam. He worships the ground you walk on and he loves all of you so much."

"Yeah, well I'm sure he's not willing to listen to any of us right now. It would probably be better coming from you, but Hannah?"

"Yes?" Hannah replied.

"Do not let him be disrespectful to you. You heard him in here earlier. You don't deserve to be treated that way and I am not going to put up with that kind of attitude from him, I don't care how mad he is." Adam stated adamantly.

"I won't. I promise." Hannah replied softly. "By the way, you may want to show Daniel a little appreciation. We had a good talk today and he's really turning into a fine young man."

"I realize that, Hannah." Adam replied, looking somewhat puzzled at her comment.

"I know you do, but it never hurts for you to tell him from time to time... and maybe remind Brian of how much you appreciate him for all he has done to help you." She added.

"Yes mother." Adam answered sarcastically.

"Adam. I know it's the way you feel in your heart. But considering where we are with Guthrie now, I'm just thinking that a few positive words from you every now and then may go a long way with the guys." She explained.

"I know. And as usual you are right. And... I love you Hannah." Adam said, tenderly rubbing her arms. He silently thanked God again for bringing her to him.

"I love you too, Adam... and I love your brothers." Hannah said as she laid her head on his chest.

7bf7b

Upstairs, Guthrie bawled like a baby. It was good to have a little privacy, but he couldn't figure out how things had gotten so twisted. Somehow, his standing up to Adam had only resulted in Adam thinking he was mad because he didn't have a room of his own.

That was the farthest thing from the truth. Bunking in the living room with Brian was one thing Guthrie did like about his life. At least it gave him access to all of his family when anything exciting was going on.

He enjoyed lying in bed at night, listening to the adventures Brian shared with him. If he wasn't telling him a tall tale about his escapades of a recent night on the town, he was telling him old stories about a mom and dad that he couldn't remember. He didn't really fret over losing his parents as a baby, but still, his brothers had never let him forget where he came from.

He liked living with his brothers. It was all he had ever known. He was unsure at first about having a woman around when Hannah joined the family, but now she was just an awesome big sister to him. He loved her as much as he loved his brothers.

Guthrie was just fed up with being excluded with all the important stuff. He knew the family was struggling to keep the ranch going, but no one ever asked him for his help. It was, 'go run and play Guthrie', or 'do your schoolwork and leave the rest to us'. Nobody ever listened to him. He wanted to feel like they needed him, the way he needed them.

Why did they think he was so useless? When something went wrong with their finances, Adam turned to Crane. If something happened with the livestock, Adam turned to Brian or Evan. If something went wrong with the tractor or the harrow, or the pickup or jeep, Adam turned to Daniel. Lately, he had noticed that even Ford had become an important part of the day to day running of the ranch. Adam treated him like the older ones too. But Guthrie was overlooked entirely, unless it was to do something unimportant like the dishes or some other boring, mundane task that the others just didn't want to do.

He had once considered running away. He didn't figure they would even miss him, but he knew how terribly he would miss them. Besides, he figured running away was childish and he wanted to show them that he was grown up now.

Guthrie kept thinking back to what happened at the swimming hole earlier. For a few minutes, he felt included in something. Joey had thought he was big enough to swing off of that rope. It may have been a dumb idea, but it made Guthrie feel relevant. Then Daniel came along and scolded him like he was a kid.

He shuddered now when he thought about it. Daniel may as well have grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out of the tree. He had essentially made him look like a baby in front of their friends.

Okay, so maybe Daniel didn't need to prove himself, but Guthrie sure did. The thought of going to school Monday and facing Eddie, Billy and Alex made him feel sick. They would tell everybody and he would probably have to put up with being made fun of for the rest of the school term. At least summer vacation was just around the corner.

He would be away from everyone at school for a few months. He thought glumly though about how much more time he would be spending at home being kicked around by his big brothers.

Guthries' thoughts kept going in circles from getting picked on by his friends to being kicked around by his family. The more he mulled things over, the more angry and more defiant he became.

He knew that Adam wasn't done with him yet. Hannah had stepped in and put things off for a while, but he knew Adam was eventually going to come upstairs.

Too, he remembered that Daniel had insisted that he tell Adam about the rope. Guthrie couldn't see now why that was so important. He didn't feel the need to share anything about that with Adam.

He was becoming more and more angry with Daniel for butting into his life therefore, he was in no mood to do what he was told now. It would serve no purpose other than to make Adam come down on him even harder. Adam had been so overprotective lately that Guthrie knew hearing about the incident with the rope was going to cause him to go off on another rant.

I don't have to say anything about that. The only thing I did wrong is not come home on time. I'm being punished for that, but there's no way I'm taking punishment for something I didn't even do. The longer he thought on it, the more defiant he became and the more his resentment towards his brothers grew.