The Discworld Tarot:

The Two of Pentacles

Also known as Stones, Coins, Gems, et c. The usual meaning of "challenge", many decks choose to illustrate this with a picture of boxing hares under moonlight in a night field. Hares associate with this card. It can also be a partnership, a conflict, two people arriving at a resolution.

And I also wanted to set up a very long, shaggy, pun.

"Let's begin egain, shell we?" Johanna Smith-Rhodes said, with what for her was patient calm. Her group of student Assassins gathered round and mumbled "Yes, miss." in various pitches and tempos.

"We are in en isolation room et the Zoo. We have a group of new enimels here which ere currently being observed end processed, prior to being judged safe to exhibit. End this process of isolation end observation means, Mr Finley?"

Johanna glared at one hapless student. He shuffled, wishing he was somewhere else.

"Err… not opening the door, miss?"

"End by opening the door?"

"Allowing the animal to escape.. errr…"

"Which defeats the purpose of isolation, Mr Finley, does it not?"

"Yes, miss."

She nodded, and checked the fit of the long rubber gloves. These and the apron had been designed to meet the needs of people whose association with living animals was necessarily briefer and more injurious to their welfare, such as slaughtermen and priests, but they served here too.

"Quarentine. The purpose of isolating new enemels es they errive. They lived in unknown conditions. They hev often trevelled a long wey to get here. You do not know if they are cerrying disease. You need to be essured of their general state of health. You do not wish for them to cerry anything contagious into the Zoo environment, where it might infect other enimels. "

She paused and glared at the student again.

"Which is why we do not open the door to ellow an uncleared enamel to make its break for freedom into the Zoo, Mr Finley!"

Golems were looking for the escapee. They seemed deceptively slow, but could capture in an instant and had the stamina and patience to outrun anything. Johanna felt they'd need it with these animals.

"One thing we cen usefully do is to check the new creature for peresites." she said. "Everything in the wild tends to cerry peresites. No exceptions. We only intervene when this becomes injurious to health. Or else it becomes imprecticel. Fleas are distasteful. But the most you cen hope for is to supress end menege. They cennot be eliminated completely. I em more concerned with things like ticks end menge. Which ere debilitating, contagious, end cen be deadly. Therefore we visually essess for signs. This cen be done with the creature in its cage."

She guided the class through the observational signs of the more deadly parasites. One animal was isolated for specialised attention later.

"Most forms of mange are specific to the creature." she said. "I express caution, es some are transmissible to humans. Ticks present a hezerd too. The deer-tick is capable of infecting humans with an unsightly and injurious ailment, for instance."

She described Lyme's Disease to her class, a parasite infection that had jumped species between deer and people. This caused shudders and wincing.

"We hev here one suspected case of sarcoptic mange, which in humans is called Scabies." She said. "Not a nice illness to cetch. This creature is also prone to a nasty disease called Tularemia. Does enyone wish to know what this does to people? No? Very well. So we will take elementary precautions. All these enemels will now be bathed in a mild disinfectant solution. Harmless to them, but which will inhume fleas end peresites."

Reminding the class that these animals were very difficult to recapture if allowed to escape, she demonstrated the apparatus. The creature would be introduced to an enclosed tunnel not much wider than it was. It would be encouraged to run through the tunnel, picking up the medicated flea powder as it moved. Then it would meet the bath – more of a scaled-down sheep-dip – which it had to swim through. A handler could insert her hands through the side of the cage here and gently encourage. After this the creature, now sanitised, could run into an easily detachable transit cage and be secured.

"Within a week of being exhibited in the Zoo it is likely to start ettracting new fleas." Johanna said. "But at least I cen say this: they leave Isolation clean end healthy. Shell we proceed?"

The first quarantined animal was introduced to the system, and Johanna demonstrated to her students how lagomorphic mammals should be handled.

"We are using the mildest possible cleansing agent." she said, gently introducing the reluctant creature to a bath which she had carefully calculated to be at the correct degree of warmth. "It hes to be strong enough to kill peresites but not so strong es to cause demage. Care must be taken to prevent the creature swellowing any. End it is best to keep it out of their eyes, which is why I em taking great care to hold the head above the surface."

There was a knocking at the door. Checking the other animals were secure, Johanna indicated the outer door should be opened.

The huge bulk of a golem keeper blocked out the daylight. Johanna looked up at him. He was holding the animal that had escaped. It was sitting very, very, still in his huge hands.

"Thenk you, Mr Bubkis." Johanna acknowledged him. "If you could come over to this end of the run? Mr Finley, you are now excused from further censure end punishment duties. You are fortunate."

"Professor Stibbons Sent A Message For You." Bubkis intoned. There was a giggling from the students, which was abruptly cut off. She sighed.

"He Expresses Apology For The Little Disagreement And Hopes You Will Consent to Have Dinner With Him Tonight."

She winced. Other golems might have had the sensitivity to say this in private, away from her students. Not the guile-less Bubkis, a golem thought by other golems to be a little bit behind.

And the row had been a silly little thing, really. She could barely recall what it had been about, now. Not worth any further attention or worry in what she conceded was the best thing to have happened to her. But she was female enough to realise there was an etiquette to these matters, a form to follow, a reminder to an errant male that he wasn't going to get away with it that quickly. Forgiveness had to be earned.

She looked down at the unstruggling creature in her hands that appeared to be appreciating a warm bath.

"When he calls egain, Mr Bubkis. Tell him not tonight. As I am washing my hare."

The class, or at least its female half, laughed appreciatively. She decided to allow them this.

"Tomorrow, certainly." she conceded. "Now, class. The hebitet of the Ecerian Snowshoe Hare…"