Disclaimer: I don't own Left 4 Dead 2 or its characters. I only own my OCs.
A/N: Hey, everyone. Sorry for the lack of update yesterday, but the website wasn't working for me. Here we are, at chapter twelve. Chapter nineteen is almost complete. My want to keep writing this story has diminished a little due to the lack of reviews etc, but to everyone who's reading, I really do appreciate you taking the time to look at my story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
~ Not So Forsaken ~
- Chapter Twelve -
After being given some painkillers and after being assisted to the top of the next verge, Julia felt able to walk on her own again.
Trying to ignore Ellis' excited babbling about wanting to ride something in the amusement park they'd finally reached, the redhead stayed by Rochelle and the two were discussing more normal, everyday things while Nick stewed silently behind them, glaring holes into the back of Ellis' head. They were fortunate enough to find a safe room right in the parking lot of the amusement park, so they took the opportunity to check Julia over for any additional injury, and Rochelle helped Ellis clean a scrape he'd gotten on his elbow from the fall down the verge. Other than what he knew would be a badly bruised kneecap, he seemed to be fine. Nick was leaning back against the off-white wall of the safe room, reloading his sniper rifle which he was sorely tempted to aim at Ellis. Rochelle's glare as she moved to help Coach examine Julia was enough to stop him.
"Oh, shit! Is that the Midnight Riders?" Ellis asked aghast as he spied a poster on the safe room wall.
"Never heard of 'em." Nick commented, looking at Coach who was applying some deep heat gel to Julia's ribs as Rochelle used her jacket to shield the redhead's torso from view, "They any good?"
"Hell yes! I got all their albums. Even their new stuff that ain't no good!" Coach said with a grin, screwing the lid back on the gel bottle, "Best light show in the business!"
"I'll back ya up on that." Ellis laughed, "Hell of a show. Hey, Jules, do you like classic rock?"
"No." Julia replied, her jaw set in a firm line, "No, I don't."
Ellis' smile disappeared very quickly. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to ignore the worried looks that Rochelle and Coach were giving him while Nick smirked behind his back, lifting the bar from the safe room door and dropping it to the ground nearby. Taking that as a silent indication that they were ready to move, everyone got ready to leave, but when Julia was passing Ellis to go to the safe room door, he quickly pulled it shut to close himself and Julia inside.
"Before we go out there, can I talk to ya for a minute?" He asked, swallowing hard.
Julia fiddled absently with the rifle in her hands, her gaze fixed on that rather than Ellis. She shrugged, her jaw clenched shut in both anger and annoyance. On the other side of the door, Ellis could hear Nick complaining and asking what the hell he was doing while Coach and Rochelle tried to shut him up, but the young mechanic tried to block that out while also trying to figure out how best to apologise to Julia. He hated having to apologise because he found it so damn hard. It never felt like enough to make up for whatever he'd done and he never really knew what to say.
"I didn't mean for ya to get hurt earlier." He said quietly.
"I know that." Julia murmured, "I-It wasn't your fault."
"And I'm sorry that Nick and I started arguin' and that it upset ya..." Ellis continued, stepping closer to the twenty-one-year-old, "Please, don't stay mad at me... Ya can be as mad at Nick as ya like, but..."
"Ellis... I've had enough anger and negativity around me or directed at me to last me a lifetime." Ellis was surprised when Julia cut him off, her eyes full of exhaustion and weariness, "I don't know why you and Nick have a problem with each other, but please, fix it. And don't bring me into your stupid fights."
"I'm sorry." Ellis murmured, his hand moving to rub the back of his neck again, "I really am. And I promise it ain't gonna happen again."
"Thank you." Julia said, her eyes falling back to her gun, "Now, can we please make a move?"
Ellis said nothing. Instead, he pushed open the door, waiting for her to pass him by to join the others, feeling relieved that he'd apologised but feeling worried that he and Julia weren't okay. He thought of her as a little sister now, and it sucked to have her so mad at him. Without even waiting for anyone to say anything to her, Julia walked ahead towards the entrance of the amusement park, glancing very briefly over her shoulder.
"Rochelle?"
Rochelle moved to join Julia at the front of the group, who was trying to ignore the fact that Ellis was muttering something to Nick at the back of them which was, no doubt, in relation to what they'd just been discussing. With both women veering off to the right and into a small building, Nick, Ellis and Coach decided to head through the gates and have a look around the immediate area for anything that could be of any use.
"I like ya, Nick, and I try to be nice and civil to ya, but I dunno why ya have such a problem with me..."
"You're stupid, annoying, you have next to no survival instincts and you're gonna get someone here killed because you're a total fucking moron." Nick snarled, "That's why I have such a problem with you. You don't know when to keep your fucking mouth shut."
He looked inside one ticket booth while Coach checked out another, with Ellis keeping watch outside, now feeling even worse than he did before. The younger man rubbed the back of his neck again, clearing his throat as Nick returned with a Molotov cocktail and a first aid kit, which he decided to give to Coach, who passed them both on to Ellis.
"Look, I'm sorry I piss ya off... Okay? I don't mean to do it." Ellis said sadly, "Just... Julia's upset that we're fightin' and she's upset that we bring her into it. Maybe ya should tell her you're sorry too."
"Sorry for what? For giving the person responsible for her injuries a talking to?" Nick asked incredulously.
"Hey, Nick?" Coach began, stepping out from the booth he was checking, "The only people responsible for that girl's injuries are her boyfriend, the Tank that hit her in the mall and the Charger that caught her at the bridge. Ellis didn't shove her over that verge. She fell tryin' to help him. That ain't his fault."
Ellis ducked his head and walked away to find the girls, leaving Nick to start debating the issue with Coach, who was clearly not in the mood for the childish bullshit that was going on. Coach could see what Nick didn't want to, which was that Nick was attracted to Julia. While Coach never liked to think of dark things, he knew Nick was troubled. He could see it in the other man's eyes; the pain, the anger and the suffering that he'd gone through in his past. It was no surprise that Nick would be drawn to someone who'd suffered too, and boy, had Julia suffered. The other thing that Coach knew was obvious was that Julia was incredibly pretty. She had a lovely figure, beautiful eyes and she was petite. She looked vulnerable. Nick's reaction to the fact that she'd been abused told Coach that even he had an instinct and a want to protect her. It seemed like a natural thing for men to do and for humans to do; to protect the smallest and weakest of the group. For most men, save for a few not so good men, a vulnerable woman was someone they wanted to protect and care for. That was probably half the reason that Nick was so mad at Ellis in the first place.
"If he'd listened to you instead of being a moron, he never would've fallen and scared her like that." Nick said, looking across the way at the various kiosks and buildings ahead which brought Coach out of his thoughts.
"Nick... While it's nice to see ya worryin' about someone else other than yourself for once, you gotta put this childish stuff behind ya and work with us... 'Kay?" Coach said quietly, not even considering backing down when Nick raised himself to his full height and puffed out his chest in some sort of alpha-male way, "What happened on that verge was an accident, and thankfully there was no real damage other than some bruises. So, at least try to be civil to Ellis, and do somethin' decent for once in your life, and apologise to Jules."
Nick looked at Coach as though he'd asked him to cut his own arm off. Clearly, apologies weren't Nick's strong suit, but if he had the capacity to care for and worry for others in the way that he'd started to do with their group, he could find some way of showing Julia that he was sorry for upsetting her.
"It doesn't have to be some grand gesture or nothin'." Coach said with a sigh, "Just tell her ya didn't mean to upset her and that you're gonna make more of an effort with Ellis."
"Are you guys okay?" Rochelle's voice brought them out of their conversation.
Julia was standing between Rochelle and Ellis awkwardly, holding a pipe bomb gingerly in her hands, while Ellis was holding onto a fire axe, his crowbar abandoned elsewhere. Coach and Nick stepped away from each other, and while the younger man remained stoic, Coach let out a grin, praising the larger group for their find. He asked Rochelle and Ellis to join him in checking out the bathrooms to the left, leaving Nick and Julia alone to look at the kiosks nearby. Feeling now angry that Coach had clearly left them on their own on purpose so that he could apologise to Julia, Nick tried to swallow down the anger he felt towards the older man, and he turned to Julia who was holding the pipe bomb in her hand like it would blow up at any second.
"You, um... You want me to take that?" He asked her, taking in the rather tired look in her eyes, "You look like you don't wanna hold onto it."
"Thanks." She murmured, passing the offending object to him, which he put in the pocket of his black slacks.
After another moment of awkward silence, Nick turned to Julia, letting out a harsh breath that he didn't know he'd been holding in as they walked towards a shooting range that sat still lit at the end of the area they were crossing.
"Jules... Um... Listen..."
'Great start, assclown.' Nick thought bitterly, trying to turn on his usual charm that seemed to get the ladies into bed rather than coming across like an awkward high-schooler trying to ask his crush out.
"I heard that you're a bit pissed at me and Ellis for our little... Disagreement earlier."
"Disagreement?" Julia asked incredulously, huffing out a breath of disbelief.
"Look, I was being an ass, alright?" Nick hissed harshly, "I only got angry with him because his stupidity got both him and you hurt!"
"No, you get mad at him all the time and usually with no real reason to." Julia said, trying to swallow down her sudden onset of anxiety as she took in the last part of his sentence.
Was Nick worried about her? Was that why he got so angry with Ellis? Well, sure, Julia had heard Nick blaming Ellis for her fall but she'd assumed he'd used it as another excuse to get at Ellis about something, not that he was actually concerned that she'd been hurt. Her expression softened as this information was processed by her racing brain and Nick seemed to notice that it had.
"You were worried about me?" She asked softly, her cheeks suddenly reddening with the realisation.
Nick was obviously embarrassed too. Julia could understand it. Men like Nick didn't want to show that they were concerned for someone else. Nick had spent most of his adult life perfecting his poker face and he likely used it in his personal life too. He always seemed so cold and so disinterested that the revelation that he actually did care for someone other than himself may have been disturbing to him.
"I was worried that two injured people were gonna slow us down. If we'd been attacked by a horde or a Tank we would've been fucked." Nick replied coldly, "And Ellis has no common sense. If anyone's gonna get us killed, it's him."
"He might be a little clumsy and he might not always think before he opens his mouth, but at least he's a nice person." Julia said, a lump forming in her throat as she felt the embarrassment of his response hit her, completely ruining her hope and belief that maybe he'd been worried about someone other than himself, "He doesn't look upon anyone with disdain or like they're beneath him. Unlike you."
Nick had to wonder where her sudden bravado had come from. She'd been so meek before, and despite the fact that he could see the hint of fear in her eyes of what consequences this outburst would bring, she appeared more confident in this moment than he'd ever seen her. Julia, meanwhile, wanted her mouth to stop moving and her voice to stop working. She had no idea why she was getting into an argument with someone who made her anxious, but if she was honest, it felt good to finally be able to stand up to somebody. Her heart was hammering, she felt like bursting into tears and she was shaking like a leaf, but she felt proud of herself that she was finally brave enough to confront a man, who she knew could so easily hurt her, about the way he treated other people.
"You think you're so above us with your stupidly expensive suit and your experience with guns, and I don't know if that hickey on your neck gives you some feeling of superiority above the other men in this group, but you're nowhere near as wonderful as you seem to think you are." She spoke with tears in her eyes now, nausea settling into the pit of her stomach, "You're cold, you're arrogant, you're conceited and you're repulsive sometimes."
"I'm repulsive?" Nick's words came out in quite a level tone, more like a statement than a question, "I just told you that I was worried about you when you fell down that verge and you tell me I'm cold and repulsive?"
He would be lying to himself if he thought that her scathing words about him weren't hurtful. What she'd said had hurt him a lot. He knew he came across as an arrogant asshole sometimes, and yes, he considered himself a bit of a ladies man since he spent a lot of his time trying to get women into bed as the hickey on his neck proved, but what those statements themselves proved was how little Julia actually knew him. The cold attitude was something he'd had to build up a long time ago as a defence mechanism. The abuse he'd suffered as a child and the things he'd had to see when he was growing up had made him build up a wall that no-one had been able to break through thus far. Not even his ex-wife. But being shot down like this when he'd been able to finally admit to someone that he cared about them, even if it was just mild concern, felt pretty fucking terrible.
"You never said you were worried about me." Julia whispered, swallowing as a tear escaped her eyes, "You said you were worried about me and Ellis both slowing you down. There's a big difference."
She was right. There was a big difference. Protecting himself was what Nick had prioritised at that moment, rather than the feelings of the woman he was attracted to. That spoke volumes to him about his own personality and his own character. He was incredibly selfish. Too selfish to be deserving of someone like Julia who'd been through more than enough already. The hurtful truths she'd just unleashed on him, combined with this realisation of his own ridiculous level of selfishness made him react in the only way he knew how to in a situation where he felt both wounded and threatened. He became angry.
"You know what, princess? Go fuck yourself." He growled out, moving past her towards a building that had the word 'Refreshments' painted above the door.
Julia let out a breath as he walked away, willing away the angry tears from her eyes before leaning against the wall of the nearby shooting range, her head leaning back against it as she stared up at the sky. Part of her felt guilty that she'd attacked him like that. She'd really not been able to control what was coming out of her mouth at all, and she knew she shouldn't have stooped to his level by berating him in the way that she had especially when he'd shown concern for her.
When Rochelle, Ellis and Coach emerged from the bathrooms, it was clear to them that something was wrong. Not only was Nick missing but Julia was looking somewhat distressed again. Coach had his suspicions that Nick's attempt at an apology had not gone well, and if he was honest, the timing of this couldn't be more inconvenient. The last thing the group needed was to be divided because of silly arguments when they needed more than ever to stick together.
"Honey, are you okay?" Rochelle asked, if a little nervously, "Where's Nick?"
"In there." Julia answered quietly, nodding towards the 'Refreshment' building.
Rolling his eyes, Coach headed that way with Ellis in tow, who kept glancing over his shoulder at the girls as Rochelle put a comforting arm around Julia. Julia explained what had happened to Rochelle, who couldn't help but praise her for telling Nick a few uncomfortable home truths despite the fact that Julia felt awful for doing so.
"He's been asking for someone to tell him what an asshole he is for a while." Rochelle said quietly, "He's been picking on Ellis since we all met one another, and it's about time someone took him up on it."
"I'm sorry." Julia whispered weakly, "I know we don't need this stupid fighting going on, but I just couldn't stop... Once I started talking..."
"Y'know what, honey?" Rochelle cut her off, trying to soothe her, "It's Nick. He's a tough guy. He'll get over it sooner or later. Don't apologise for standing up for Ellis or yourself, for that matter."
Ellis could soon be seen returning from the building that Nick had just been in, and without a word, he took Julia by the arm and quietly encouraged her to walk with him. Rochelle then saw Nick emerging with Coach, who had a rather irritated look on his face. Nick, however, looked incredibly solemn, and the anger that was displayed in his expression was minimal. He looked more hurt than anything else, and that was certainly a surprise to Rochelle. She watched him as they set off moving again, noticing how his gaze kept moving to Ellis and Julia, and then away again as though the sight of them walking together was too much for him to stand. It was very unusual and very worrying.
"Are you okay?" Ellis whispered, looking down at Julia, whose brown eyes were now reddened from her upset.
"I'm okay." She said with a sigh, offering Ellis a weak smile, "Really."
"Thanks for stickin' up for me." Ellis said quietly, "I actually got an apology outta him. It wasn't nothin' spectacular but it was an apology nonetheless."
"You did?" She replied, trying not to look as stunned as she felt.
"Whatever ya said to him must've got him thinkin' about his attitude and stuff." Ellis surmised, shrugging as he readied his shotgun for any infected they might encounter, "Anyway. As long as you're okay."
"Yeah, I'm fine." Julia reassured him, "Just... I said some hurtful things to him. Makes me almost as bad as he is."
"It ain't like he hasn't been askin' for it." Ellis muttered, glancing over his shoulder at the conman who didn't really seem to be concentrating on what was around them.
Before Ellis could continue the conversation, a very sinister growling sound could be heard coming from the warehouse that the group was about to pass through. They all stopped dead in their tracks, a feeling of dread settling in the pits of their stomachs at the realisation of what was waiting for them. Ellis warily reached for the Molotov in his jeans pocket while Nick stepped forward, handing the mechanic the lighter he was carrying.
"We all know what that sound is." Coach whispered harshly, "When it comes at us, we split up and try to take it out as fast as possible."
Ellis lit the Molotov, while everyone else tried to brace themselves for what the young man was about to do. Stepping closer to the warehouse door carefully, Ellis saw a flash of pink as the Tank snorted, angrily slamming its fist into a shelving unit nearby. Ellis launched the Molotov at the Tank, hearing the roar of pain and fury as it suddenly set upon the group of five. They were already scattered and running in separate directions, not giving the Tank any clear target to aim for. Nick and Rochelle spread out to the right and Julia and Coach headed to the left, while Ellis sprinted away from the now flaming beast as it charged after him, growling and roaring in anger.
Everyone opened fire, shooting the burning creature with round after round of ammunition. The smell was horrific as was the roar of the fire and as the Tank set its sights on Ellis, the group knew they had to act before their friend was injured and potentially set alight as well. As the Tank smashed its way through a food stall right next to Ellis, the mechanic launched himself out of the way, rolling over and staggering to his feet to get out of the creature's way. After what felt like an eternity, it collapsed dead, its body still aflame.
Ellis emerged, his face pale and mouth slightly agape. It was quickly established that he wasn't hurt, but instead, shocked by his near miss with the Tank and the kiosk. The group quickly headed into the warehouse since they didn't want to attract any more trouble, their flashlights illuminating the space they now stood in. One lone silhouette stood between them and the way out, and as the infected turned towards them, its glowing eyes shining in the dark, one shot from Nick's sniper rifle took its head clean off.
"We gonna stand around all day, or are we gonna make a move?" He asked, moving through the group and purposely brushing against Julia as he went.
Coach instinctively followed him as did Rochelle, while Ellis stayed protectively by his younger friend, who really didn't appreciate Nick's attitude. The tension within the group could be cut with a knife, and for those caught in the middle of what had happened between Nick and Julia, it was hard to even try to make conversation.
"Steady..." Coach said quietly, stopping everyone from going further, "Listen?"
Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
"I know that sound..." Ellis murmured, if a little fearfully, "And I hate it."
"Is that a clown?" Julia whispered incredulously, "A zombie clown?"
"That's gonna be a problem." Nick growled, "That thing comes running at us, and its gonna attract a horde."
"How many clowns does a place like this have, Coach?" Rochelle asked warily, looking up at the older man worriedly.
"Lots." Coach muttered, "At least it used to."
The notion filled everyone with dread. Enough clowns running at them could potentially get them killed. There was only one way to avoid that, and it was to take out any clowns they came across before they were spotted, which would be easier said than done. Not only were they going to be hard to spot amongst the other infected in the early dusk, but it seemed that Ellis was phobic of them, which could cause problems.
"Fantastic." Nick growled, reloading his gun and readying it in his hands, "Kill every clown you see."
He poked his head around the doorway they'd walked up to as Ellis and Julia searched some of the shelving units in the breeze-block room they were standing in. Thankfully, they found some more ammo and, of all things, a box of batteries for the flashlights on their weapons, and as they returned to the group, they could see Nick looking through the scope of his sniper rifle, aiming it steadily.
Raising her dark eyes towards the conman's face, Julia felt her stomach somersault quite violently. He was concentrated on whatever he was aiming at, his jaw clenched while his strong arms held the rifle almost perfectly still. For the first time since she met him, Julia found herself admiring his physical form and as her heartbeat began to pick up, she was startled by the sound of the rifle firing. The squeaking of clown shoes that had been so loud above the growls and snarls of the infected outside their little safe space suddenly stopped.
"Bullseye." Nick breathed out, his deep voice gravelly and quiet as he lowered the rifle.
At that moment, he turned to look at the others, but his gaze met Julia's, and as Rochelle and Coach moved past him, Nick remained still, looking into the dark eyes of the redhead who found herself unable to breathe for the smallest of moments. After a tense moment between them where Ellis didn't quite know what to do, Nick broke the lingering stare and ducked his head, moving after Rochelle and Coach.
Ellis looked at Julia, who let out a long, shaky breath only to then quickly intake another. He went to touch her arm to get her moving again, only for her to startle beneath his hand. He couldn't help but wonder what that look between Julia and Nick had meant. Maybe neither of them had known what to say to the other after their argument, or maybe it meant something else.
"Jules, we have to go." He said softly, trying not to dwell on what had just happened, "Come on..."
Silently and solemnly, Julia headed out of the room towards the others, leaving a very confused and worried Ellis to follow.
~ To Be Continued ~
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please feel free to review!
Thanks for reading so far!