Disclaimer: I don't own Left 4 Dead 2 or its characters. I only own my OCs.

A/N: Hello, everyone! I'd like to start this chapter by thanking Shin Maxwell and fullhouses for favouriting this story. Thank you to everyone who's been reading so far, I do appreciate it. I just want to put a warning out there for some rather dark content this chapter, and also I just want to reassure you guys that I'm trying to work on this story as much as I can and update it as often as I can. I'm starting to publish more than actually getting the writing done, but I'm taking a week off work next week, so I intend to do a good amount of writing and increase the gaps between the chapters I'm actually publishing and the ones I'm working on. Chapter twenty is almost done, and I still have a while to go. Also, there will be a sequel to this story, which I've already started making plans for.

UnspokenTheWriter: Thanks for another review! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

~ Not So Forsaken ~

- Chapter Fourteen -

Deciding to spend the night in the Tunnel of Love safe room, Coach, Rochelle and Ellis now slept surprisingly peacefully, despite their awkward positions in various places around the small safe room.

Nick had astonished everyone by offering to stay awake first, listening out for anything that could be of any imminent danger to them outside the safe room. He sat near the exit, his rifle cradled in his lap and his head leant back against the wall, his gaze fixed on an odd looking stain on the wall opposite him, which stood out considerably against the lovely deep blue colour that they'd had been painted in. He heard a shuffling beside him and saw none other than Julia approaching him, her jacket pulled tightly around herself and her eyes red and puffy from her earlier tears.

"Hi..." She whispered, offering him a tired, weak smile.

"Hey." He whispered back, "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head, her copper curls bouncing as she then ducked her head to gaze at her feet. He scooted over a little and patted the carpeted space next to him, silently offering her a seat with to him. She moved closer to him carefully and eased herself down, continuing to keep her arms wrapped around herself protectively. Nick turned his head to look at her, studying her pretty face before she ducked her head once more, her short hair obscuring it from his view.

"I never thanked you for saving my ass earlier." He said, his voice so quiet she almost couldn't hear him.

"You don't have to thank me." Julia murmured, "Although, I should be thanking you too. You protected me from those Hunters."

"Don't mention it." Nick replied, swallowing hard, "Listen, Jules..."

"I'm sorry for what I said to you when we had that fight." She said in a harsh whisper, the words coming out so fast that he struggled to understand her at first, "It was wrong of me to call you those things. If I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry."

"What you said wasn't wrong." Nick answered her, causing her to look at him in surprise as he returned his gaze back to the stain on the wall opposite.

Julia didn't answer him. She could tell from the look on his face that he wanted to say something else to her. He was just trying to find the right words, and she wasn't going to make any assumptions or interrupt him. She figured that he was the kind of person who had trouble saying what he really felt unless he was angry with someone, and she knew that interrupting his thoughts could knock his confidence, which she wasn't about to do.

"Can I tell you something sort of... Personal?" Nick asked, still not looking at her.

This conversation was going to absolutely suck, and he knew it was going to reap up some horrid memories from his younger years. But, he wanted her to understand why he was the way he was, and he also wanted to reassure her that while the others might not understand what she'd gone through over the past couple of years, he did.

"Of course." Julia answered, swallowing hard as she studied his face, amazed that of all people, she was the one he trusted with anything personal, "What is it?"

"There's a reason that I come across as cold and arrogant." He began, lowering his gaze to his now dirtied dress shoes.

Julia waited patiently, which surprised him. Most people would be nagging him by this point to just spit out whatever he wanted to say, but not this sweet, gorgeous young woman who, despite him being awful to her, was showing him more consideration than another person had for a very long time. It seemed to make this confession of sorts twice as hard to make.

"You and I have one thing in common that no-one in this group knows about, and I'd appreciate it if you could keep it that way." He continued, noticing her vigorously nodding her head out of the corner of his eye, "From as early as I can remember until I was about seventeen, I spent most of my time getting the shit beaten out of me by my father. So did my mother and eventually my little sister."

He took a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck which showed how uncomfortable he was at this moment in time and how hard this was for him to talk about. But, Julia still remained quiet, allowing him the time he needed to work up the courage to keep going.

"My mom used to get it the worst. And it'd take pretty much nothing to set him off. He used to call us the most shitty things you can think of and tell us how much he hated us all, no matter what we did." Nick explained, still unable to look at the redhead, "When I was a kid, I had to listen to the son of a bitch beating and raping my mother, and there was nothing I could do about it. So, when I found out that your boyfriend had been beating you, I went crazy. I know what it's like to have some asshole ruin you so much that you literally block out anyone and anything that tries to get close to you."

Julia's gaze fell to her lap, her eyes glazed with tears. She had no idea that Nick had been exposed to such horrible things as a child. It almost killed her that he had to listen to what his poor mother was going through and that he felt so powerless to stop his father from hurting her that way.

"But, I survived it. You know how?" Nick asked her, finally able to look at her as she shook her head in response, "I was twelve when my little sister was born, and when she was about three, I saw him give her the same look that he used to give my mom before he'd drag her into another room to do what he'd do her. And I swore to myself that what my so-called-father was doing to her and us was gonna stop, no matter what that took. He started hitting my little sister when she was as young as eighteen months old, and there was no way that I was gonna let him start sexually abusing her on top of everything else."

"What happened?" Julia asked, the lump in her throat now so big that she could barely speak, her big brown eyes so full of upset that Nick knew he couldn't look at them or he could potentially lose it there and then.

"I learned how to fight, and I worked out until I got big enough to kick my dad's ass. I made myself the protector in that house, and every time my dad put his hands on my mother or my sister, I gave back as good as he was giving. Eventually, the stupid fuck got himself killed while driving home from drunk from a bar he'd been at one night." He explained quietly, letting out a rather long, heavy sigh at the memories he was experiencing, "I identified his body 'cause my mom couldn't bear it. So, in the end, I survived and so did my little sister, but my mom? She didn't. She killed herself about twelve months later. He'd completely destroyed her."

Now, Julia was totally devastated for the man sitting next to her, who she could see was struggling with his own emotions after getting something so harrowing and horrific off his chest for the first time in God only knew how long. Potentially for the first time in his life. There was no point trying to hide how upset she was on his behalf. The tears in her eyes were too heavy and too thick to hide and he was probably already well aware of how upset she was.

"Nick..." She gasped, the tears finally escaping and cascading down her cheeks, "I'm so sorry..."

Nick nodded, taking a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair, which was starting to feel greasy due to the fact he hadn't been able to wash it for days. Surprisingly, the relief he felt at being able to actually tell someone about what he'd gone through as a kid was pretty amazing. A huge weight had been lifted from him, and he felt able to relax a little even though his throat was tight now with emotion.

"I told you this so you know that while the others might not have a clue about what you've been going through, I do." He said quietly, clearing his throat, "And I wanted to show you why I am the way I am. You're the only one who's got any damn patience with me."

"For what it's worth..." She began, sniffling and wiping at her eyes, "I'm sorry for what I said to you."

"Me too." Nick muttered, closing his eyes for a moment to take a deep breath as he continued to revel in the relief of being able to open up to someone.

"Have you ever talked to anyone about that before?" Julia asked, now sounding a little more in control of her emotions.

"No."

"Not even your ex-wife?"

"God, no."

Julia couldn't help but smile at Nick's response to that question, especially when he chuckled afterwards as though the very notion was preposterous. He confused her so much but after their conversation, she had to admit that she was a little more reassured that there was a softer side to him. She found herself liking him more just for that. The flutter came back to her stomach again, and she shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the sudden racing of her heart at the notion that perhaps she was starting to feel something more for him.

"Jesus Christ, I could barely trust the woman to keep her legs closed, never mind with something like that."

"So, why did you marry her then?" Julia asked, blinking the last of her tears away while Nick simply shrugged in response to her question.

"I dunno really. Call it youthful stupidity." Nick said, clearing his throat and ducking his head, "Despite the fact that I was thirty-one at the time."

Julia laughed then, quietly because of the others who were sleeping, but she giggled nonetheless, and Nick found himself chuckling with her. It felt good to laugh rather than feeling miserable or pissed off. He looked across at her, finding himself admiring her lovely brown eyes and that pretty smile that seemed to make his heart beat that little bit faster. She was looking right back at him, and unbeknownst to him, admiring him too just as he was admiring her.

When the group had awoken after a few hours of rest, they'd prepared themselves to head further into the amusement park in search of a way back to the highway. It wasn't hard for Ellis, Coach and Rochelle to notice that Nick and Julia must've made their peace during the night. They seemed much more friendly with each other than they had been the day before, and even though they weren't suddenly wanting to buddy up together, the tension that had been almost ripping the team apart the day before was no longer there. Rochelle, in particular, couldn't help but wonder if maybe Nick had grown a pair and apologised for his part in their argument. She knew that all of his 'lone ranger' attitude was bullshit, especially now since he'd found four people prepared to look out for him and even maybe lay their lives down on the line for him. She could only hope that he'd accept that eventually rather than continue to pretend that he didn't care.

"This bring back any memories, Coach?" Nick asked, "You, a cheeseburger, romance in the air?"

"Nick, I was on the football team." Coach said with a smug smirk, "Coach did just fine. Now, everyone, pay attention through here. Stay close to me."

"Define what you mean by close..." Nick said, eyeing the older man suspiciously.

Coach rolled his eyes before lifting the bar from the safe room door and carefully pushing it open. Rochelle and Julia followed closely behind him, while Nick and Ellis stayed at the back, carefully surveying the area around them. They headed down to the ride station, which had a few zombies wandering around in the water as it glittered rather prettily under the lighting ahead.

"Isn't it pretty?" Julia whispered to Ellis, "I've never been on a Tunnel of Love ride before."

"What?!"

The universal cry of surprise from three out of the other four members of the group alerted the infected wandering around in the water, and they immediately sprinted towards the five survivors, only to be taken out by Julia's baseball bat, Ellis' fire axe, and Rochelle's machete. Once the zombies were dead, the group all turned back to Julia, who was now blushing a bright red colour which was visible even in the dim light of the ride. Ellis looked sympathetic, and he carefully patted Julia's shoulder in an attempt to soothe her.

"It's okay, Jules, I only ever did it once, and I didn't really like it." Ellis said, rubbing the back of his head, "The girl I was with kept tryin' to shove her hands down my pants, and I kept tryin' to tell her that I didn't put out on a first date, but she wasn't listenin'..."

"Are you shitting me?" Nick asked incredulously, "A girl basically offers it up to you on a plate on the whole ride and you turn that down?!"

"I was fifteen, Nick!" Ellis said defensively.

"Can we just...? Can we please just move on...?" Julia asked, her face now an even deeper shade of red, "Please?"

She stepped past the group and into the shallow water, which continued to sparkle despite the fact that blood from one of the infected they'd just killed was starting to steadily turn it red. Nick smirked at the fact that Julia had become so embarrassed about admitting she'd never been on a Tunnel of Love ride before. Oh, if the world ever became right again, he'd take her on a Tunnel of Love ride. He'd teach her to love them with very little trouble.

'Oh, fuck me... Get those thoughts out of your brain now!' Nick thought, feeling a surge of anxiety and anger course through him which was aimed somewhat at his teammates, 'These assholes... Why'd I have to get caught up with these assholes? My life was going just as I liked it until now... and her...'

He looked towards Julia, who was walking ahead of him, chatting quietly to Coach. He was finding it hard to adjust to the fact that he had feelings for her. Maybe the reason this had happened was that they were both damaged and he just felt like she'd be able to relate to him. Maybe it was the simple fact that she was beautiful and that his dick just wanted to be inside someone again... Beautiful? Was she really beautiful? He heard her let out a sweet, quiet giggle and she shot a look over her shoulder at the others, her eyes sparkling with joy and her cheeks still a little red from her earlier embarrassment. Oh, God, yes... She was beautiful.

"Shit!" Rochelle suddenly hissed out the curse as Nick came back to reality, his ears suddenly tuning into the sound of a Witch crying, and just up ahead, he could see one walking towards them, her hands over her face.

Rochelle, Ellis and Coach all rushed to the right, hiding behind some of the ride's scenery, so Nick quickly grabbed Julia's arm and dragged her off to the left, pushing her to the very back of the scenery against the dark wall, his hand over her mouth to stop her from making a sound. She stared up at him, panicky and wide-eyed, and in the dark of the area they were in, she could just make out the shape of his finger moving towards his lips to hush her, her mouth now free from his grasp.

The crying was getting closer, and with her heart still racing both from this and the fact that Nick had suddenly dragged her off into the darkness, she curled her free hand into the sleeve of his jacket, carefully moving her head to the right to peer around him, looking for the Witch. Nick was trying to control his hammering heart as he gazed at her, his eyes darkening with a sudden want for her that he'd not felt so far. They were alone, probably because he'd subconsciously wanted it to be that way, they were hidden, and they were in the dark. If he made a move and it backfired, no-one would know unless she told them, and he figured that if she rejected him, she'd be too embarrassed to tell the others what had happened.

"Julia...?" The whisper was so soft that she almost didn't hear him.

The Witch was now almost up to where the five were hiding, so Julia moved back to look at the conman, whose free hand was now resting against the small of her back. Her gaze flitted up to his slowly, her full lips parting slightly as she took in the sight of those grey-green eyes, almost half-lidded and clearly very focused on her. His hand moved to her cheek very briefly before his fingers made their way into her tangled copper locks of hair, the sensation of which caused Julia's stomach to drop, but in the most pleasant way she'd ever felt. He was getting closer to her.

'Oh, God... Is he going to...?'

She didn't get a chance to finish the thought. She felt his lips brush against hers, slowly and gently, almost as though he was in two minds as to whether he should be doing so or not. The origin of the shaky sigh that accompanied this was unknown to her, but not to him. It had come from her, and out of instinct, her hand flew to his polo shirt, squeezing it in those dainty fingers of hers. Nick's hand moved to the back of her head to hold her there, just daring to test the waters a little longer since she hadn't yet responded to him. Just as he was about to pull away from her, he felt her lips press back against his.

Her heart was hammering, her legs were trembling, and her stomach dropped again, causing her to let out the softest of sounds which went straight to the conman's groin. He wanted to throw his gun to the ground and just pull her into him, but he knew he couldn't risk making too much noise as the Witch was now finally passing them by. They broke apart after holding their kiss for a few more seconds, both breathing heavily, but quietly, and their eyes locked intently on each other.

Then, reality smacked Nick in the face so hard that he almost visibly recoiled and he backed away from Julia like she had some kind of contagious disease. How could he have let himself fall into that trap? Why the fuck did he just do that? He didn't want to look at her now because he knew she'd be upset since he'd just reacted like this, but he couldn't believe he'd let himself kiss her like that. She'd kissed him in return as well, which had part of him feeling thrilled but the rest of him was freaking out. He never let anyone get truly close to him, but in less than twelve hours he'd let her in and oh, fuck...

"Guys?"

Ellis' voice calling for them led to the two of them acting as naturally as possible. Julia was once again embarrassed, a little hurt and dejected, and ready to burst into tears, but she swallowed down the lump in her throat and smiled quite warmly, which surprised Nick to no end.

"That was close, huh?" She said with a quiet laugh, "We'd better move before she comes back our way."

She then slipped out of the way as though nothing had just happened, while Nick was still internally freaking out at the back of the group. The few infected that lingered in the ride's softly lit tunnels were taken out relatively quickly, and the journey was quiet as the group looked for a way back into the park. They soon found their way to be blocked, so they backtracked and headed into what Ellis called the 'Swan maintenance room of love', which was a space that was incredibly dark, but that led to a walkway which then took them to a well-lit room where they could scour the shelves for supplies. The pleasant atmosphere that the group had been experiencing had quickly diminished again, and no-one but Nick and Julia knew why. Nick couldn't look her in the face at all and she was starting to lose her grip on her happy exterior because she couldn't get her mind off of him and what had just happened between them.

Their kiss had been so gentle, nothing like what she expected a kiss from Nick to actually be, and she'd felt so wanted and so happy in those moments that their lips touched. She felt safe, warm, elated and a whole host of lovely emotions that had now been replaced by an aching sadness and burning humiliation. Not that Nick wanted to admit it to himself, but he'd felt pretty fucking happy too. Especially when she'd started to respond to his kiss and when her fingers had gripped his polo shirt like that. He just wished that he wasn't so emotionally constipated that he could've reacted in a better way, rather than acting as though she repulsed him.

It was scary that his feelings and his personality seemed to have changed so much over a few short days. He'd met these four people completely by chance, but they'd impacted him to a point where he didn't feel like he knew himself anymore. He was angry with them for it. His life had been just as he'd liked it before they came along... Or had it? He'd been lonely, slowly falling into alcoholism, and he recalled more than one occasion where he'd felt completely fed up of living on the road like he did, or just fed up of living in general. Now that he'd let Julia in a little, he kind of didn't want to give that up. She was like a safety net to him, someone he could go to when things got too much to handle because she knew him much better now. He'd taken a gamble with her and it had paid off. She'd not only understood and listened to his story about his childhood but when he'd kissed her, she'd kissed back. She wanted him too, he could just feel it. And he'd just fucked all that up by freaking out like that.

He braved a glance in her direction and happened to catch her crouched down as though searching a nearby shelving unit, but her head was bowed, and her lip was trembling. Now, he really felt like shit. He hadn't felt this guilty since he hung up on his little sister the last time they'd spoken to each other, and that had been about six years ago. He had no idea where she was now, or if she as alright. Jesus H. Christ, he sucked at this kind of thing. He didn't know how to even begin forming an apology that would be good enough for Julia. Apologies had always been something he'd found stupidly hard to give.

"Anything there, Jules?" Coach asked from his place near the door.

"No. Nothing." Julia answered softly, clearing her throat before getting to her feet.

She turned around to face her fellow survivors and looked almost completely composed, but Nick could see it in her eyes. She was hurting. She was probably humiliated and feeling confused too but... The hurt was enough. It amazed Nick that despite all that was going on around them, his and Julia's biggest concerns were what had just happened between them, and what effect it might have on the team as a whole if they couldn't communicate with each other properly due to their own emotions. He laughed internally at himself. His own emotions. He hadn't been in touch properly with his emotions in way too long. It was scary, but part of it wasn't so scary. He hadn't felt scared when he was kissing her. It had felt like the right thing to do at the time.

"Let's move, people." Coach said quietly, "We need to find a way outta this damn ride."

He headed out of the room first, followed by Rochelle, Ellis and then Julia. As she passed Nick, Julia felt his hand quickly wrap around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She frankly didn't want him touching her. After everything she'd opened up to the others about and after their conversation the night before, she'd believed that maybe she'd be able to put some trust in him and that maybe she wasn't so stupid for having feelings for him. Now, she felt like a stupid little girl for even thinking he might actually want a fucked up mess like her. She made a move to pull away from him, and it worked until his fingers wrapped around her hand. She felt that familiar pang in her stomach that she'd felt the first time that Kevin had held her hand and it made her almost weep. Tearing her hand from his grasp, she headed out after the others, leaving him to follow behind, his gaze lowered and his eyes narrowed in frustration.

"Are you okay, Julia?" Rochelle was asking quietly, placing that usual motherly hand on the younger woman's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired. I didn't sleep well in that safe house. It was too cramped." Julia's response was quiet but steady enough that it was believable.

"Next safehouse we get to, we'll take some more time to rest." Coach suggested, "We all need a good night's sleep."

"A bed would be great." Rochelle sighed, "And some horrible old motel bed either. A real bed. With thick covers and big pillows."

"Oh, God... Don't, Ro..."

The sound that Julia's voice made as she spoke sent sparks straight to Nick's groin. The tired groan had sounded almost sultry and Jesus Christ, it had been one of the sexiest things that Nick had heard in a long time.

"You're making me sleepy." Julia finished, openly yawning in front of the others.

"Yeah, Ro, now I wanna be all curled up in a nice warm bed too." Ellis said with a groan of complaint, "A big bed too where I got plenty of room to stretch myself out."

"One of those super king beds..." Coach chipped in, "With a massage function."

"Or maybe a water bed. Those are stupidly comfortable." Nick said, hearing Rochelle laugh ahead of him.

"Some girl I went to high school with had a waterbed. Her cat stuck its claws in it while she was sleeping and it ruined her bedroom floor. Her mom went crazy."

"I bet she did." Coach laughed as they entered a dark part of the maintenance area, "Well... I wonder if we can get out through this hole in the floor."

As the group of five congregated around said hole in the floor, the good mood they'd just been in, however false on Nick and Julia's part, was ruined by the sight of so many infected beneath them that the ride's floor and the surrounding area was practically invisible.

"Well..." Nick huffed, his tone full of irritation, "That's a problem..."

~ To Be Continued ~

A/N No.2: Okay, that was just my take on Nick's childhood. I would like to think he didn't come from a background so horrid, but I imagine he didn't exactly have the best upbringing given his attitue and career choice. I know it was dark and I'm sorry, but regardless, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Thanks for reading this so far!