Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, I've just had to do so many tests :(
From dust you came
And to dust you shall return
- Genesis 3:19
A few metres after I walked away from Mallory's body instead of hearing the droning hum of the hovercraft that should have come to collect the body, I heard the loud fanfare of the Capitol anthem. Roman. This was my chance.
I looked up towards the sky, hoping to see the hologram of those who died. The thick leaves of the trees blocked out every little bit of light from getting in. I couldn't see the hologram. My heart beat faster, and I ran in random directions trying to find a gap in the trees to see the holograms. Please don't be dead, please don't be dead.
The anthem was coming to an end and I was going to miss my chance to see who had died. Just as I came into a clearing, the anthem faded and died. The last word I saw on the hologram were District 11, but I didn't look up in time to see who it was from District 11.
For a second, in the darkest corner of my mind I wished it was my picture up there, with the words District 12 underneath. No. Don't you dare think that. And don't wish that Roman was alive. He's better off dead. We all are.
Should I keep walking, or go to sleep for the night. I closed my eyes to ponder the thought. The image of Mallory lying limp and lifeless flashed behind my eyes.
Most definitely not going to sleep, then.
The weird thing was, I didn't feel tired, but at the same time I didn't feel awake. I didn't even know if I was hungry or not. But this was familiar .. I knew what this was. After my parents had died, I didn't really know how it was normal to live. I didn't have my parents to tell me what to do, I didn't have my Avoxes to make my food or lay out my clothes or anything. Was I depressed because of Mallory? It felt like it.
Back when my parents died, I didn't really know what to do. I felt the same way now- but even more helpless. And if you had grown up in the Capitol, being helpless was a bad thing. Like when your costume surgery went wrong and instead of getting tiger print skin you got zebra print, which was way out of fashion, but you had to walk down the street looking like a zebra for three weeks until the prints faded away, knowing everyone was judging you.
But in this case, instead of being judged, I was being hunted, namely by the Careers. But they're not Careers, I reminded myself fiercely. They're just in Career Districts. That doesn't mean anything. I wasn't worried about the others like Katri and Delphi as much as I was about Raff. He was a a dark storm cloud in my already gray sky.
As I worked my way in a general forward direction, I wondered about Delphi. I used to know her at school, she was well known for being the class trendsetter. She patterned her hands with swirly lines and dots, and the next day everyone was doing it. She once complimented me on my colour-changing contact lenses, so I always thought that she was a nice person. But lately, she seemed more vicious. She thought she was in love with Raff, so she would do anything for him.
Sometimes, if boys and girls allied themselves, they would start to fall in love. This was because they thought if they were in love they wouldn't have to kill each other in the end, but they always did. It had happened with Clove and Cato in the 74th Hunger Games, and I heard it happened to Haymitch and a girl called Maysilee very briefly in another Hunger Games. It was just another part of the Capitol's revenge on the Districts for the uprising- it may be bad to kill people, but it's worse to kill someone you love.
Just as I thought about how it was worse to kill someone you love, I realised that I was walking towards the centre of the Capitol, to where I had my first date with a boy whose name I now couldn't remember. It was by a fountain that usually flowed with pink lemonade, but pink champagne when there was a party or celebration, which was actually most days.
I collapsed at the edge of the fountain, leaning my sweaty forehead against the cool mother-of-pearl. When I opened my eyes, I could see my reflection staring tiredly back at me. My reflection- there was some lemonade at the bottom of the pool. I didn't know if Mallory had any water, or at least any empty bottles, so I scooped up the lemonade with my hands. It seemed relatively clean and new, and even if it wasn't I wouldn't have cared.
With every gulp the pain in my limbs seemed to go away, the knot in my chest loosened, and I drank until there was so little left at the bottom of the fountain it couldn't be scooped up. I sat down and leaned against the cold stone of the fountain, giggling when I burped.
Oh, my goodness giddy gracious, what was happening? Shimmering rainbow lights danced in front of my eyes, and I the more they swayed, the more it seemed they were hypnotising me into falling asleep.
For some random reason I remembered the night of the ball before we went into the arena. The punch there tasted really good. Like fizzy lemon and honey. My eyelids were very heavy now.
I remembered the day after the party... What happened? I asked, my head pounding.
It's not your fault. Peeta's voice echoed.
No wonder it seemed to taste better the more and more we drank. Phox groaned.
It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Peeta kept saying that. What wasn't my fault? None of us realised the punch was alcoholic.
Oh, dear. I'm in trouble, aren't I?
I'll worry about that later... I'll just go to sleep now...
I woke up to the feeling of a bull mutt stomping on my head, and the cold blade of a knife pressed against my throat.
"You." A gruff voice snarled.
I groaned and went to cover my eyes. Why was everything too bright? When my hand twitched and started moving, somebody clamped their foot onto my wrist, so hard I cried out in pain.
My eyes flickered open, and when they adjusted to the bright light, I saw Raff's face glaring angrily down at me.
"Whaddyou want?" I muttered. I was hungover and in no mood to be concerned for my life.
"Where is she?" Raff looked murderous. "Where's Katri?"
"Do I look like I'm psychic or something?" I moaned. Why won't he leave me alone? The blade pressed further into my skin, and I could feel sticky warm droplets of blood trickling down my neck.
"I'm not screwing around here, girl. Where is she?"
"How many times do I need to say it before you understand, I don't know." I repeated forcefully.
"You have to know, though. Your boyfriend stole her, and you're allied with him." I recognised Delphi's voice.
"I'm not allied with anybody, and he's not my boyfriend." I spat.
"Please, I've seen the way he looks at you." Raff sneered.
" I don't think she knew. Raff, I can't tell whether she's telling the truth or not." Delphi whispered. "But if she is, maybe she should join us?"
"No!" Raff shouted, just as I laughed and told them, "I'd rather die before I would join you."
"That can be arranged." Delphi snarled. I didn't understand, one minute she wanted me to join, then the next she didn't? She really was just Raff's lapdog, wasn't she. But she didn't realise she was expendable, just a pawn in his game.
"You just don't get it, do you." I found myself saying quietly. "This has nothing to do with me, or Roman or Katri. Whatever we do now, we're all going to die eventually. All but one of us, and until then this is all a game. Why do you care about Katri so much when you know she's going to have to die? Why do you care about pleasing Raff so much, when you must realise he doesn't love you, and he's probably going to be the one to kill you."
Raff and Delphi were silent. "Are there any others with you? Or are you the only ones left. If there are, I hope you do realise you're all going to die horrible deaths." I didn't know why I was going off on this tangent, but my anger was building up inside of me. "And guess what? It's not fair! Not fair at all!"
Raff's grip on the knife loosened a tiny bit. "SO YOU KNOW WHAT, DJANGO?" I was starting to yell, letting out all my built up emotions. "UP YOURS! WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND MAKE US BURN TO DEATH AND WATCH US RUN FOR OUR LIVES, HUH? 'CAUSE EITHER WAY, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE BEGGING FOR MERCY! SO JUST GO AHEAD AND DO IT. BURN US TO THE GROUND, I DARE YOU!"
To my surprise, Django obliged.