I'm gasping for breath as the tears roll down my cheeks. My hair is stuck to my face from the cold sweat that I'm soaked in. I have had plenty of nightmares before, but this one seems to physically torture me as I lay there a little longer until I can't bear another second. It's still pitch black outside as I step quietly down the stairs. All the bedrooms doors are closed so I assume that everyone is still fast asleep as I look down at my watch noting it's only 3 in the morning. I had tried in vain to go back to sleep but I couldn't be in that room anymore, not after what I had seen. I slip on my boots and jacket and easily slip through the old door out into the wind chilled darkness. Inhaling the sweet night air helps to chase the images but they still seep into my thoughts as I watch a figure moving about on top of the RV parked a little ways from the house. I stalk over, whistling quickly to get the persons attention and am surprised to see Glenn peer over the edge looking down at me. His tension eases as soon as he recognizes me and motions for me to come up with a wave of his hand.
As I pull myself on top of the old Winnebago, Glenn is moving another chair beside his and grabs a blanket for me as I sit down.
"What are you doing up here?" I ask with curiosity in my voice.
"Rick always sets up night watches," he says looking out at the moonlit pastures, "we rotate every three hours, but I wanted to give him some time." He finishes with a sad note to his voice.
"Well if anyone had told me about this, I would've volunteered to help." I say a little too bitterly wondering why I'm already getting left out of the circle on my own property.
"Actually," I say, deciding to take action, I stand up and look down at him, " you need to go get some sleep, I'll take the rest of the watch."
"But-", he starts to protest, but one stern look from me and he is quickly gathering his things while briefing me on what to look out for and what to do if I need help. I nod, giving him a thanks and saying goodnight as he climbs down to head back to the house. As I watch him go through the door, I turn to sit again. Thoroughly alone, I begin to ask myself why I didn't just sit here and talk with him for a little longer, I had barely gotten the chance to say much to him, besides giving orders, since they arrived. I tuck the blanket a little tighter and settle in for a long night.
When the horizon begin to grow lighter ever so faintly, another light catches my eye. A small flickering glow from the loft seems to give the barn life in all the darkness around it. I yawn after staring at it for a moment more realizing just how tired I felt and after returning the chair and blanket to its original home, I climb down the cold ladder and begin my small journey to the barn.
I open the door silently and slip inside, seeing Raven stick her head over the stall door looking for danger. I walk over and gently rub her oil slick black face, "Shh.. You worry too much." I say reassuringly.
"I'm sure she got it from you." Jumping as I hear the familiar voice behind me, frustrated at myself for letting him sneak up on me again.
"The only thing I have to worry about now is your red neck." I say, keeping my head turned toward Raven so he doesn't see my smirk. My comment is echoed by a little grunt that may be a laugh, but I can't tell. I feel his presence come closer to me without hearing footsteps. I find it odd that for such a big guy, it's frightening how quietly he can move. I look over to see him at Chenoa's stall, making a small ticking sound with his tongue that quickly gets her attention.
"What's his name?" He asked gruffly.
"Her name, is Chenoa." I reply, emphasizing the word 'her'. "Comes from the Cherokee, it means dove." I add quietly, thinking back to when the big mare was born.
I was sitting with my grandmother, out in the tall grasses of the pasture, the first time I laid eyes on her, with her soft white coat & big brown eyes, I knew she was mine from the start.
"Beautiful." Daryl says, bringing me back to the dimly lit barn.
"She's the best horse I've ever had," I reply with a soft sigh, "raised her since she was little." I add warmly, scratching behind her ear.
Once again, I don't notice that I am moving closer to Daryl, but there I am with my guard down again. I take a step back, he notices but stays his ground, I'm sure to get on my nerves. I have talked to Daryl many times since yesterday morning, mostly bickering or throwing insults, and I know there is a tension whenever we're together. This time feels different though, maybe from the sleep deprivation or the easy atmosphere, but I feel none of the usual thickness in the air.
"You look like hell.", he observed.
-One day you can just punch him again, he deserves it.
"Well I'm sure it can't be worse than how you look." I shoot back quickly. I hadn't even thought about how I look, really. I'm sure the mixture of tossing and turning plus the anxious sweat had done a number on my long, thick hair. I quickly rake my fingers through it trying, to no avail, to tame it, as Daryl just watches me with an amused smirk.
"Shut up." I say, glaring at him.
I give Chenoa another pat on the neck but don't bother to spare another glance at Daryl as I turn and walk toward the barn door.
"I wouldn't worry about it, maybe the walkers will thank you're one of 'em." I heard him to say to my back, realizing I was still raking through the knots that had formed. I reply with a nice little slam of the door and march back to the house.