. O .
"Dammit, Cyril!"
At the sound of Pam's voice Ray looked over to the door, alarmed, as Cyril barged in, dart guns blazing. The effect was fairly weak even for his low bar, especially considering every single shot was knocked to the ground in one fluid succession of blocks from Vegeta. He followed, no, somehow managed to get ahead of Cyril's wide aim as he sprayed the room across one side and back again. Dr. Briefs didn't even look up, concentrating on whatever he'd been doing before they'd interrupted.
"Triple dukes," Ray said with a sigh.
"Well that plan sucked," Cheryl's voice sounded from beyond the lab entry. "What next?"
"Bum fighting melee!" Pam screamed, rushing the entry to take a swing at Vegeta, who was calmly relieving Cyril of his empty guns.
"What the hell is your problem?" the flame-haired man yelled back, dropping the guns to deftly grab one of her fists before blocking a punch to his side and flipping her around to trap both hands behind her back. "There are children sleeping in here!"
"Damn, you're crushing my money makers," Pam coughed. "What, did Krieger outfit you with robot arms, too?"
"SHUT UP!" Vegeta roared.
The simultaneous cries of two babies followed.
"Ow!" Pam reacted as the grip on her arms tightened further.
Ray took a step back, all but literally washing his hands of the whole mess. "Wasn't me."
. O .
Gohan was wrapping up a quick detour through the kitchen after pulling on some dry clothes when he heard a commotion coming from the direction of the lab. He ran through the empty halls and shoved the tray he'd put together into the arms of the woman by the door before entering, quickly assessing the situation. Trunks and Goten screaming bloody murder from the playpen. Vegeta holding another woman with careful restraint, both red in the face. A nervous, bespectacled man with more dart guns laying at his feet, darts all around. The man who'd carried the boys to the lab leaning casually against the now-full and humming regen tank holding his partner. Dr. Briefs in the zone at his desk.
"Gohan," Vegeta said slowly, "the boys."
"Oh, right." He zipped over to the playpen and frowned. Both of them were equally in meltdown mode. Gohan picked up Trunks first, taking him over to Dr. Briefs. The scientist didn't notice anything until Trunks let off a particularly grating wail right in his ear.
"Now someone sounds upset, oh," he said, finally breaking away from his work to survey the lab, "more company?"
Goten gave another cry and Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Can you…"
"Oh, right. Of course." Dr. Briefs took his grandson and Gohan hurried back to attend to his brother.
"Why am I holding a bunch of roasted chicken and rice?" exclaimed the woman from the hall as she wandered in.
"Sorry about that," Gohan murmured, situating Goten to free one hand so he could take his tray from her. At the confused and disbelieving looks from the adults present, he offered an explanation. "Uh… I was hungry? And Dr. Briefs hasn't eaten yet?"
Vegeta rolled his eyes as Gohan's stomach growled. Beside the prince, the stomach of the woman he was restraining also audibly turned.
"Oh, for the love of- Pam! How can you be hungry?!"
"Yeah, you already ate half the fridge!"
"It was one drumstick!"
"Two drumsticks!"
"You people are by far the worst infiltrators yet," Vegeta remarked dryly.
. O .
"Malory?!" Lana exclaimed, jumping up from the table with a wince, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Rescuing you, apparently," Said the older woman who'd burst through their door before making a beeline to the wet bar to rummage through its contents.
"With my daughter in tow? Are you insane?"
"There hasn't been any complaints about disturbances so either you hadn't started or you royally screwed the pooch-"
"Again with the AJ in your arms?"
"I was in the neighborhood and-"
"Bull-freaking-shit."
"I hitched a ride with Krieger," the woman relented, as Lana took the baby from her. "There's some convention nearby that he claims he's taking his 'wife' to."
She pulled out a bottle of Glengoolie Blue, cracked it open, and took a long pull straight from the bottle. "Please don't make me elaborate, I already had to take one shower to feel clean after hearing his graphically detailed explanation."
"Fair enough."
"So," Malory said, next uncovering a glass and some ice and pouring herself a proper drink. "How much is its going to take for you to forget this whole thing?"
Bulma stared blankly at the older woman. "Good grief. Is this what I look like?" she asked Chi Chi.
"Huh?"
"When I have to clean up after our husbands?"
"Oh, not really. You're a little friendlier."
"Hey!"
"Thank the moderately benevolent Kami," Bulma said with a sigh. She crossed her arms and pulled her best Vegeta scowl. "This is going to take a little more than a check to forget, lady."
"I'm sure we can work something out."
. O .
"Oh, you weren't around for some of the Red Ribbon attempts," the doctor said with a chuckle. "Son, why don't you go get a couple of bottles for the boys and some more food for everyone else? They still have some time for their friend."
"Huh?" Cheryl asked.
"He's talking about Archer," Ray said as Gohan nodded, set the tray of food down on an empty lab bench, and disappeared back into the house again.
"Yeah, where is Archer?" Cyril questioned.
"Over here."
Cheryl and Cyril ran to Ray's side, examining Archer in his liquid prison.
"Come on, man, point made," Pam groused. "You've got the most machismo out of everyone in the room. Would ya mind letting me go so I can gape at whatever Archer's gotten himself into with the rest of my coworkers?"
Vegeta twisted his grip and Pam moaned. "Uh, okay, got it. I'll just stay here."
"What the hell happened to him?" Cheryl exclaimed.
"He pointed a gun at my son," Vegeta said simply.
"What? Archer? No way."
"Yeah, that doesn't sound like Mr. Archer. At least not since he's gone all 'protective dad' with AJ."
"We weren't expecting to run into kids, Cyril!" Ray pointed out. "This is your fault!"
"My fault?!"
"You gathered the intel."
"Malory only gave me two hours to- You know, this is all her fault for assigning us this stupid, fruitless mission in the first place."
"But what happened to him?" Cheryl asked.
"He shot the gun."
"Wait, what?"
"Now that really doesn't sound like Archer."
Cyril, Pam, and Cheryl all looked to Ray.
"It's all true," he said, unable to contain a snigger. "And Archer got his ass handed to him. Like, really, it was the most satisfying display of violence I've witnessed in a while. Limbs snapping like twigs, blood spraying, too bad he passed out after the second hit because…"
Cheryl shuddered. "Uh…"
"Sploosh," Ray finished, agreeing with an appreciating glance to Vegeta.
"Ew," Pam said.
"Um," Cyril asked with a cough, "if Archer is as bad off as you described, should we maybe get him to a hospital or something?"
"Nah. Your intel on their tech innovations surprisingly happens to be spot on. This thing should have him fixed up in…"
"Half an hour?" The doctor guessed, taking a bottle from the newly returned teen.
"So," Pam asked from her spot still stuck in Vegeta's hold, "how's about we take that break for dinner?"
. O .