A/N – Sorry for the delay; hope you enjoy Chapter 19 (Alice's POV from the moment they arrived at the Cullens Home). Thank you for all your reviews – they really do make my day. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all! ES.

Chapter 19 – Explanation

Alice POV

I knew she was nervous. Who, in her situation, wouldn't be? But I knew Bella was different. Somehow I had always known – even before my very first vision of her, I knew…

You're a vampire….

I watched as the expressions on her face altered. She was thinking. I knew Bella; I knew every arch of her eyebrow, every bite of her lip, every sigh…

She had always known, she said.

And I believed her.

And then she mentioned her poem… and I knew then, knew that her words were about me. Mesmeric stranger, I was her mesmeric stranger… though I hoped, secretly, I would become so much more than that, so much more that a stranger to her. What were her initial words again in the poem… mesmeric stranger entices me… oh, how I hoped that was true.

And then her confession.

I had been in so many of her dreams.

How I had secretly longed to hear her say those very words. How many times had I stood, still, at the foot of her bed, watching her sleep… watching her toss and turn, incoherently whispering my name?

Finally, an admission. "In my dreams, you were in so many of them"… and I couldn't stop myself, couldn't stop myself then from telling her that they weren't always dreams… and how I reacted to her response. How could one simple blush send shivers along my spine? I had to physically stop myself then from taking her in my arms, stop myself from claiming her lips with my very own.

Oh, Bella. If only you knew what your very existence did to me.

I knew she was trying to make sense of it all.

Of me.

What I was.

What it meant.

What she understood.

I saw her eyes dart to her bandaged hand, and the dried blood, and I knew how she was going to react before she even moved it away from me… from possible harm... I knew then, that I had to make her see – had to make it clear, that I wasn't a drinker of human blood. The thought of her not understanding, of running away from me was unthinkable. But this was Bella Swan. So very different to any human I had ever met. Somehow, she seemed to understand me before I had even spoken. And when she placed her hand below my chin, I knew then that she really did understand me, and what I was.

The feel of her hand on my skin was so comforting; I had never felt that way before with a human, or even a fellow vampire.

My aching and deeply rooted need flared like flames in a fire; I was completely in love with her. Everything about Bella had enticed me in – I was a mere butterfly caught in a spider's web when ever she was near me. I had to explain the effect she had on me, the mania I had felt that very first time in biology class… I owed her that much. And then she had placed her fingers against my lips, to calm me… and her words, "everything is going to be okay Alice…"

Was it? For as long as I could remember my existence had been surrounded by a deep, intangible façade – it was my walled defence, yet Bella had cut and severed through my concealment with such ease and sincerity…

My brain was reeling with "what if's" and "how" and "should I"…

What if Bella didn't reciprocate my feelings?

How would my vampire and feral instincts cope if she did?

And should I even allow myself to think of Bella crossing the timeless portal, to become incessant and immortal like me…

I knew she had detected my sigh, and I knew she was changing the subject to make me feel better. I knew, before she even mentioned his name that Jakes name would be brought into the conversation. Jake – a wolf… not that Bella knew… not that I would tell her, even though my brain was screaming at me too….

And I knew she had questions. Of course she had questions. She had just found out that I was a vampire, that we – the Cullen's – all were.

I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as we walked towards my house. I loved the feel of her skin, her touch. I couldn't quite believe that I was here, that we were here – together…

And she knew what I was. So many times I had visualised her saying those very words… you're a vampire… she knew… and here she was, with me, about to enter my house, my world, my sanctuary…

I knew, deep down, that Carlisle and Esme would welcome her with open arms. I also knew that my act of bringing her here, to my home, would speak for itself. Seeing Rosalie stood with my parents was a little disconcerting though. I hoped, and prayed, possibly for the first time in many, many years, that Rosalie would be civil to Bella. She didn't disappoint me and I loved her for it. I knew, though, that if anyone would notice the blood on Bella's hand it would be Rose.

Blood.

Bella's blood.

A month or so ago, the very thought of Bella's blood would have sent me spiralling out of control, yet now I was able to manage… oh, it wasn't easy – her scent alone sent a longing throughout my entire body, one I had never experienced before. But her blood… my own personal drug…so very inviting.

And Carlisle knew.

Knew that, despite my endeavour to remain under control, where Bella's blood was concerned, I was still very much a novice, still learning… like Jasper.

I didn't want to leave her side, but deep down I understood why I had to. Only my brother Emmet could enter the room and crack a joke at such a meaningful time… but I suppose I should have thanked him, his humour certainly eased the tension I was feeling. And it also made Bella blush again… that blush, the one I secretly hoped was just for me…

I left her, then, in Carlisle capable hands and entered the living room. Esme was still trying to find Bella something to drink. Jasper had sat on a seat furthest away from the rest, and I gave him my secret smile. I knew how hard this was for him, and I loved him for his endurance. Edward also sat across the room, one eyebrow raised, as if waiting for me to speak. Of course, Rosalie was the first to.

"She knows, then?" was her only comment, and I merely nodded.

"And she's okay about it" Rosalie continued.

"Yes, she is" was my response. The truth was, my mind really was elsewhere – how was Bella, was her cut going to be okay, what was Carlisle saying to her…

Edward, reading my turmoil, spoke gently.

"She's fine, Alice".

And then Esme had placed a drink on the table, and lent over me, squeezing my arm.

"Bella is lovely, Alice".

I smiled.

She was. And I knew without any doubt that I admired, and loved Bella, with every ounce of my being. And when she came into the room, and sat beside me, all I wanted to do right then was stand and admit my feelings to her and my family…. My love for her… my overwhelming desire to make her mine.

I saw Edward shake his head slightly. He could read my thoughts, and I smiled at him, projecting I'm just excited, Edward – but I will tell her, when the time is right, and we are alone. Edward returned my smile and nodded in silent agreement.

Only Emmet could spoil that occasion once more. I should have know, he was the joker of the family…. Yet Bella responded to him with a smile and a dry wit that made me love her even more. I found myself inching closer to her, to protect her from his jesting… subconsciously placing my hand on her leg.

I was impressed with the way she handled Emmet's comments, how I admired her strength and fortitude… yet I knew it was so much to take in… to understand what Emmet meant when he said we had to hunt….

For a split second, I hated one brother for being so blunt, and loved another for being so helpful…. Jasper, the one I knew I could always rely on… I knew what he was doing, I could see it in the concentrated look on his face and the way Bella seemed to relax as Jaspers gift of calm caressed her senses…

And then she said she wanted to know the truth. And I accepted her need, for a moment I didn't care if my family disagreed with me… Bella wanted to know about us, our gifts… and I wanted to tell her. I hoped Carlisle would understand, his smile and slight nod indicated that he did. So I knew, then, what I needed to do. And where I needed to take Bella before I told her, told her it all.

My room.

And then I saw Edward, looking intently at me.

I projected my thoughts across the room to him.

I'm scared, Edward. Scared she'll fear me when she knows… about my visions…

And then Edward smiled, and I instinctively knew everything was going to be okay.

I'd never shown anyone my room before, not outside my family circle. Even Rosalie and Esme seldom entered, somehow they seemed to know and understand that this was my sanctuary, the place I went to when I needed time to myself, to think, to listen to music, or to simply watch the world spin on its axis from outside the full length windows that made up two walls of the room.

As I entered, one window was entirely open, and I could feel a slight breeze. The trees nearby were swaying steadily in the wind, and I could hear small animals foraging for food or shelter. And the heartbeat. Bella's heartbeat, as it thudded softly in her chest.

I walked towards my sofa, sat down, and watched Bella as her chocolate eyes gazed around my haven. Her lips pulled into a smile, and I was immediately relieved. I wanted Bella to like my room, it was part of who I was – I feared if she didn't like the room, she wouldn't like me…

When she joined me on the sofa, I could never remember a time where I felt so at ease, and euphoric. Bella, my Bella, sat with me in my room – finally…

And then she had made the comment about seeing her room… and I had smiled then, adding that I had seen it.

And I had seen it, oh so many times – while she had slept, I had watched her… the desire to curl up beside her had engulfed me so many times… to take her in my arms and hold her. And she blushed again, and I was lost in the colour of her cheeks, and the quickened beat of her heart, lost in her chocolate eyes as they blinked a few times before resting on my own, lost in her smile, how I longed to simply be lost inside her…

I told her she captivated me.

And she did captivate me - my mind, body and soul… if I had one…

"I don't know how… I'm really not that special…"

Those words had brought me back down to earth suddenly – Bella had no idea how special she was… I had to make her see; make her understand that she was special…

As our hands met, and her fingers entwined with mine, I knew it was time – time to tell her about us, time to tell her everything.

I started with Jasper, and I watched as her head cocked to one side slightly as I spoke.

"He can manipulate emotions" she had asked.

"Yes, but he only uses his gift when it is absolutely necessary Bella, Jasper would never manipulate emotions for any other reason but to calm…."

I watched her again as her head nodded slightly. "He... I think he's projected calmness towards me twice now… downstairs, earlier… when Emmet said he was going to hunt…."

I waited as she swallowed, and then continued, her fingers gripping mine a little tighter than before.

"And before… when you had your migraines, and I gave him my biology notes… I didn't really understand it then, but at the time I was feeling a little frayed, being the new girl… after I spoke to him… well, I didn't feel quite so worked up anymore…."

I smiled, "That sounds like Jasper" I replied, and squeezed her hand again.

"I must thank him" she whispered. Her words brought so much relief, and I couldn't quite believe the degree of her understanding.

Understanding… she needed to know more about Jasper, and his plight – how hard it was for him to refrain from drinking human blood… so I told her. Not everything; I knew instinctively that Jasper would tell her himself, one day.

Bella's voice broke into my thoughts.

"Do you all have this gift Alice" she asked.

I moved closer to her, if that were possible.

"Only Edward, Jasper and I have a gift Bella – and each is different".

Bella nodded, "Please, go on…." She whispered, so I continued. I told her about Edward, told her he could read minds… and her mouth literally gaped.

"He can read minds? My mind…." Her voice trailed, and her cheeks became crimson.

I smiled, "Bella – you need to know, for some reason… Edward is unable to read your thoughts. We're not sure why, he can read every thought a person has – but you… from you he get's nothing".

I watched as Bella sighed, and nodded.

I couldn't help myself, "Bella – were you having some naughty thoughts about someone in Edwards's presence?"

Bella swallowed, "Erm, I'm not sure I can remember Alice… "

And I knew her uncertainty that she had – and I hoped they were about me. I removed one hand from hers and rubbed her arm, "Forgive me, Bella – I shouldn't tease at a time like this".

Bella laughed, and placed her free hand on my arm, mimicking my actions she gently rubbed my arm, "this is rather surreal, I admit. I'm in a house full of vampires, Jasper can reassemble emotions, and Edward can read minds… though not my own… why is that? Am I doing something wrong?"

I laughed then, and without thinking, I embraced her like Esme had earlier. My lips were close to her ear, so I whispered softly "You're not doing anything wrong, my sweet. So much to take in… I can't begin to explain how I admire you…."

Bella snuggled in closer to me, and shivered a little.

"Are you cold" I asked, concerned.

Bella shook her head, "No… just… being close to you, it makes me feel… "Her voice trailed off.

Aroused? Because that is the exactly they way I felt, right now…

She moved back and took my hand in hers again, "and you, Alice… what can you do?"

It was my turn to sigh.

"You can tell me, Alice… you can tell me anything".

Her voice was soft and calm, as she unconsciously began to rub her thumb across my hand.

"I have visions".

Bella's thumb stopped, as she tilted her head to one side, and then the other.

I allowed her time to digest what I had just said. Finally she spoke.

"Do they cause the migraines?"

I shook my head, "No… though sometimes they do take a lot of my energy. You see Bella, I can't control my gift, and I never quite know when I will get a vision… they often surprise me…"

Bella suddenly stood and walked towards the open window. I glanced at the empty space where she had sat. Did she understand? Was she afraid? I stood and joined her side. Together we both looked out towards the woodland that surrounded my house. I couldn't speak; I didn't understand what had caused her quick exit away from me…

Then she turned, and nodded "I understand now…."

And then she smiled. And pure relief ran through me, out of my body and bounced around the walls of the room. She continued.

"You had one, I think, in the canteen? Was it about me? Is that how you knew, about me and Jake and our argument…?"

I nodded.

Bella took my hand again, and lent her head against my chest.

"And before… in the hospital, when I cut my hand…."

I nodded again.

"Alice Cullen" she murmured, stepping back slightly, "you really are my guardian angel".

And then she smiled again, a dazzling smile that was for me, only for me.

Without another thought, I lent in and claimed her lips with mine.