Disclaimer: I don't own Left 4 Dead 2 or its characters. I only own my OCs.
A/N: Greetings, everyone! Here we are with chapter six! I'm pleased to announce that I've made a start on this fic's sequel so hopefully you won't be waiting too long for that to be published. Thanks so much for all the support so far. It means the world to me.
Shin Maxwell: I've noticed that too! It's usually Nick coming to pick me up when I get incapacitated, although sometimes its his fault that I get incapacitated too. And I'm glad the last chapter made up for the end of chapter twenty-four. I hope you continue to enjoy the fic!
Happy reading!
~ Not So Forsaken ~
- Chapter Twenty-Six -
As Ellis, Coach and Rochelle sat down to eat their dinner, they were relieved to finally see movement coming from Nick and Julia's sleeping space.
When only Julia emerged, though, their smiles faltered. Nick hadn't been himself since they got back onto the boat with Ellis and no-one knew the reason as to why that was. As Virgil joined the four of them at the table, no-one dared to ask what was wrong with Nick. Not for a few minutes anyway. Coach finally got the guts up and asked Julia if Nick was okay while trying to ignore the glare he was receiving from Rochelle who wanted him to be quiet.
"I dunno." The youngest team member sighed heavily, "He's just... He's become so quiet. And he's really subdued. I don't know what's going on with him."
"Want me to talk to him?" Rochelle offered with a grimace, "I mean if I'm not stepping on your toes or anything..."
"Listen, if you can get him to open to you about what's going on with him, I'm totally fine with it." Julia murmured, taking her bowl of heated spaghetti-o's into her hands that Virgil had made for them, "I just wanna know what's bothering him and I wanna help him get better."
"I'll just finish eating up and then I'll take him some food." Rochelle said quietly, "See if I can get some answers for you."
"Thanks." Julia said, trying to ignore the worry in her stomach as she focused on her food instead.
She knew she couldn't afford to not eat. She needed all of her strength, as did everyone else. As she, Coach, Ellis and Virgil talked quietly amongst themselves, Rochelle eventually left the table with some heated spaghetti-o's for Nick and knocked on the wall beside the curtain that closed off his and Julia's sleeping space, asking him for permission to enter. When she got no reply, she cautiously lifted the curtain back to find Nick curled on his side, under the covers, staring at the wall.
"Nick...?" She spoke quietly, "It's Ro... I brought you something to eat."
"Thanks, Ro. But I'm not hungry." Nick replied, keeping his gaze fixed on the wall.
She stepped further into the tiny room undeterred by his attitude, bent down and set the bowl near the foot of the bed before carefully easing herself onto the other side of the space, removing her boots to then sit next to him. She propped up the pillow that she assumed was Julia's and leant back with her arms folded behind her head. She could be as stubborn as him if she wanted to and she promised Julia she'd try to get answers, so she wasn't leaving this room without a fight.
"What are you doing?" Nick asked tiredly.
"I'm staying here 'til you tell me what's going on with you." Rochelle answered him simply, "Your girlfriend's worried sick about you."
"She's not my girlfriend." Nick replied darkly, internally cursing himself at the impulsive response.
"Really? After the shit you guys have been through together, after the worry you've been through with her and after you guys had sex last night, you still don't consider her as your girlfriend?" Rochelle asked with a huff, "Jesus, Nick..."
"How'd you know...?"
"Well... The two of you disappearing into the shower was the giveaway." Rochelle said with a smile, "I heard you trying to creep past my door. And your bed was a little creaky."
Nick almost face-palmed. He knew Rochelle meant it when she said she wasn't leaving. He didn't want to talk to her about what was going on, though. How could she understand it? He was still feeling guilty about abandoning Julia by diving into the water after Ellis, and after she had stood there trying to warm him earlier and trying to get him dry, even going as far as sharing her body heat with him, he'd felt this sickening lump of emotion in his throat because no-one had done anything like that for him before, and no-one had cared about him for so long that to experience it in such an intense way was overwhelming.
"Sorry. We really were trying to be quiet." He said quietly, trying to ignore the smell of the food while trying to remember where they were in their conversation.
"I know." Rochelle replied, still grinning, "Don't worry about it..."
Her smile suddenly disappeared as she remembered the reason that she'd offered to do this. Julia. If that poor girl could hear what he was saying with regards to him not considering her as his girlfriend, she'd probably be really upset. Rochelle knew that Julia deserved the answers she wanted. All she wanted to do was help.
"...But you can't honestly say that you don't consider Jules as your girlfriend now." She said sadly, "She seems to think of you as her boyfriend. And she really is worried sick about you. So, how about you do the right thing by her and tell the truth? What's going on with you?"
Nick cursed internally once again. Damn Rochelle. She apparently knew just what to say to pluck at his stupid heartstrings, and how fucking devious of her to use Julia to do it! With a deep sigh, he sat up, revealing his messy hair, his creased polo shirt and his tired, pale face which seemed to cause her more concern than he would've liked.
"I fucked up, Ro." He said quietly, not really knowing how else to start, "I know I made the right call by going into the water after Ellis... But..."
"But what?" She asked him quietly.
"I didn't think about Jules. Not once." He answered her with a worried frown, "What if I'd ended up stranded or something had happened to me, and she'd been left on her own without me there to protect her?"
"Wait, what?" Rochelle asked, genuinely confused, "You mean to tell me that you're worrying that poor girl something stupid because you're feeling guilty about potentially giving your life for someone else? Man, I would hate to be in your head."
"Tell me about it." Nick replied, running his hands over his face, "I just can't stop thinking about what would happen to her if I wasn't here. I can't get rid of the anxiety I'm feeling about it. I've never, ever thought about a woman like this before... Well... Except for my mother and little sister, but that's a story for another time."
"Are you worried that she's angry with you?" Rochelle asked, "'Cause I can promise you that anger is the last thing she's feeling towards you right now. She's got no idea what's wrong with you and she doesn't know how to approach you about it, which is why I'm here."
Nick let out another sigh, leaning back against the wall with a look of exhaustion and resignation on his face. He did feel a little better for opening up to somebody about what was going on, and it shocked him that he'd actually found that such an easy thing to do. He didn't feel quite so alone now, and Rochelle had done her best to be understanding... For the most part.
"And as for that decision you made out there... You made the right call. All of us think you did. If you hadn't made that call, someone else would've. Maybe even Julia. And I promise you that if anything does happen to you, and I pray to God that it doesn't... But if it does, we will take care of Julia. We all will."
Nick smiled at that. It was something that deep down he knew they'd do. He just wanted to be there for her as long as he could be, and he knew it was probably normal to worry about what would happen to her. No matter what the others promised him, he'd still worry about her and he took that as a sign that maybe his feelings for her were growing deeper and more intense. Maybe it really was time to start openly referring to her as his girlfriend. Things were serious enough for that, right? He realised that he was going to have to trust Julia with this information and that he was going to have to hope that she wouldn't be angry with him for worrying her like that. The sooner he got it over with the better.
"Thanks." He said quietly in response to Rochelle's promise, looking to the bowl of food sitting next to the bed, which he took into his hands carefully, "I'm gonna have to talk to her, aren't I?"
"Yeah." Rochelle said with a smile, "But I'll help you out by keeping her busy until you've eaten, then you can have time to think about what you wanna tell her."
"'Kay." He said with a nod, playing with the food with his spoon, "Thanks, Ro."
"No problem." Rochelle whispered with a smile, getting up from the bed to go and find Julia with a sense of pride at what she'd just achieved.
After about five minutes, Nick emerged from their sleeping space with the now empty bowl in his hand, looking tired and frazzled, and Julia got out of her seat so fast that she almost fell. She took the bowl from him carefully, thanking Rochelle who offered to take it from her, and then she allowed Nick to lead her to their room to talk. The curtain was back in place in seconds, and as Julia slipped her shoes off, she moved to join Nick on the bed as he asked her to, sitting in front of him with worry in her eyes and heaviness in her heart.
"Ro says you've been worrying about me." He stated quietly, leaning back against the wall.
"A little." Julia admitted with a sigh, "I just want you to be okay."
"I'm okay." He said with a nod, "I just wanna talk to you about something. It's kinda been bothering me."
She nodded, offering him a patient, but worried smile. He tried to calm her down by reaching out to take her hands in his. He then decided to move a little closer to her, feeling his own nerves start to calm as she climbed over to him and sat between his legs, wrapping her arms around him to hug him.
"What's on your mind?" She asked him, pulling back to look at him.
"The fact that I jumped in the river after Ellis without a giving you a single thought." He admitted quietly, trying to ignore the feeling of embarrassment that was slowly washing over him, "I've had this thought going around in my head for hours about what the fuck would've happened to you if I'd been left behind or worse. I know that I did the right thing by going after Ellis, okay? I just... I felt guilty for not thinking about you."
Julia smiled sweetly at him and pressed closer to him, breaking into a laugh as she hugged him tightly. Nick felt confused. She really wasn't angry? No, of course she wasn't angry. She was anything but angry. She was overwhelmed by the fact that he cared so much for her that he was worried about what would happen to her should anything happen to him. It was beyond sweet.
"You're not mad?" He asked her quietly.
"How can I be mad?" She asked in return, pressing her lips to his cheek, "You saved someone else's life. You have nothing to feel guilty about. What you did was so amazing."
She then cupped his face and with a beaming grin, she leant forward and kissed his lips. She was so thankful that nothing worse was wrong. He'd never know how thankful she was, and while the situation had been stressful because his behaviour had been unusual, she really didn't care now that she knew that it was something so simple that was bothering him. Once their kiss was broken, Nick welcomed Julia into his lap as she tried to move into it, slipping his arms around her to hold her.
"Think we can be quiet enough?" Julia asked with a flirtatious smile when she felt his hands start to wander.
"Hate to break it to you, darlin', but Rochelle heard us in that house when we were in separate rooms." Nick laughed quietly, "I hardly think we can keep quiet in here."
Julia suddenly felt a pang of embarrassment and shame wash over her as she realised that their encounter hadn't at all been as secretive as they thought. Nick saw her face fall and redden, and she moved out of his lap slowly, her head lowered to the ground. He hated to see any hint of shame on her face because he'd already caused her to feel that once, even though that occasion had been a complete accident.
"Don't do that." He whispered gently, "C'mere, babe..."
"We don't have to do anything. We should probably rest tonight." Julia murmured, smiling at him weakly, "I'm tired and you're tired... We've been through a lot lately."
Yet again, for the third time in less than twenty minutes, Nick cursed internally. She was pulling away from him again. But he knew he had to relent. She wasn't going to want to continue after knowing that they'd been heard previously, especially not when they were so exposed. He still, regardless of her protests, pulled her closer to him and kissed her again, offering her a reassuring grin as he brushed some of her hair out of her face.
"You're right. We've been through a lot lately." He said quietly, "So, we can sleep if you want. We're gonna be lowering anchor for the night anyway."
With the idea of an early night becoming more appealing to them, the two entered the rather domesticated act of helping one another undress, since sleeping in their clothes was incredibly uncomfortable. As they helped one another out of their top layer of clothes, they shared the occasional kiss, whether it was given from one to the other against their forehead, cheek lips, or neck, and soon enough, left in nothing but their underwear, they climbed into their bed to settle down for the night.
They kissed for a while, wrapped up in one another's embrace. It was just them again, allowed to be in their own world once more, even if only for a short time. The more time they spent together alone like this, the more Julia found herself falling for Nick. With every touch and kiss, she was finding her heart becoming lost to him more and more. She could see those wonderful changes happening in him and she knew that some of them were because of her which meant the world to her. Unbeknownst to her, Nick was going through something very similar. Every time he touched her, he felt that same pang that he'd felt the first time he'd seen that gentle, beautiful smile when she'd been talking with Ellis, and he knew in his heart that maybe this really was serious, and for the first time, he genuinely wanted a real, loving relationship with someone. With her.
The thought terrified him and intoxicated him all once. While he knew he wasn't in love, he felt very deeply for her, and he thought she might just feel the same about him. As he felt her sagging into his arms, her body tired and her heart heavy, he kept her close to him as she fell asleep, part of him fearing that once they left the safety of this boat and stepped onto land once again, he may never get the opportunity to hold her like this again.
The group each found it difficult to say their goodbyes to Virgil. He'd become a friend to them, and when he announced that he was off to look for more survivors, they each felt a strange pang in their chests at the thought of not knowing if he was safe or not. They now found themselves on the home stretch. They were at the waterside in New Orleans, and overhead, they heard the sounds of military jets soaring past. That filled them with a feeling of trepidation. Was that good news or not?
"Should we be worried that...?" Julia began, only to be cut off by the sound of a muffled explosion, "Was that...? Are they bombing the bridge?!"
"It sounded like a bomb." Nick agreed, looking towards the bridge where a plume of smoke was rising from the large structure, "Oh, shit..."
The others turned to look in the same direction that the couple were. If the military were bombing the bridge it meant that their current location was no longer safe. They were cutting themselves off from the infection, and if the five survivors didn't make it to that bridge in time...
"We gotta go." Nick said, sounding slightly panicked, "We have to move, now."
Coach immediately started to jog up the steps nearby, and everyone else followed without question. Their pace was no longer a slow one. They had no time to dilly-dally now and as they made their way through a small gateway, they found themselves on a blocked street with infected scattered all over the place. Indeed, New Orleans had fallen too.
"Damn..." Ellis murmured, looking ahead at the zombies before them.
"Don't be too disheartened." Julia said quietly, "If they're bombing the bridge, the area on the other side could be the only safe place left. I don't care if we end up in the water, we're gonna make it there."
"I like your determination, young 'un." Coach praised her warmly, "Let's move. We got a long way to go to get to that bridge."
They shot at the infected as they moved, trying to be as precise as humanly possible to conserve their ammo and to minimise the noise they were making. Time was now of the essence and it really wasn't on their side. More jets passed overhead, their screams seeming to attract the attention of the zombies staggering around nearby buildings and vehicles. It was clear that the infection had taken a strong hold over the city and it left the five survivors wondering if they were actually going to get out of this or not.
"I remember the city a little differently than this... I gotta say." Nick said with a grimace as they passed by a small café.
"You've been here before?" Julia asked with a small smile.
"Yeah, a few times." Nick answered her, "Not enough to remember where I'm going, though. Most of my time here wasn't exactly spent sober or focused on my surroundings."
Julia knew what that meant. Nick was there for sex, drink and gambling. But, she couldn't think too much about that now given the danger of their current situation. They'd almost immediately found themselves with another dead end as they travelled through the streets, and when Coach actually cursed up ahead, it gave the other four survivors an unpleasant, sickly feeling in their stomachs. Their usually calm and composed friend was now in a state of worry. Maybe even panic. This was way too serious for their liking. Their lives were truly on the line now and the feeling was indescribably awful.
Starting to look around for a way to move forward, Rochelle thankfully found access over a fence by some steps heading into to back alley, which then led to a grassy courtyard that was surrounded by the backs of various buildings. It was a bit of a maze to navigate initially, but after a few seconds of searching, they found the back door to a restaurant, entering the dark kitchen area with apprehension. The growling and groaning coming from the zombies in the main area of the restaurant now seemed more menacing. Those infected people stood between the five survivors and their escape from what had become Hell on Earth, and they could only hope they had enough ammo to deal with them.
"Take 'em out." Nick growled, trying to swallow down the feeling of hopelessness that was creeping up inside of him, "Do it or we end up stuck here and left to die again."
Everyone opened fire on the zombies in the restaurant, each of them falling victim to the panic and fear that was now starting to spread between them. Their primal instincts were screaming at them to run. The sense of urgency was overpowering, their hearts all starting to race as the anxiety started to worm its way around the group. While they were killing the zombies in the restaurant, their gunfire blocked out the sounds of coughing and wheezing coming from outside, and just as Coach moved to look out of the front doors of the building, he was caught by a long, pink tongue which wrapped tightly around his middle. Before he could react, he was tugged out of the door and straight into an alarmed car.
"Someone kill this damn thing!" He yelled out above the screeching of the alarm which was now going to draw out every zombie within a quarter-mile radius.
Nick managed to get a killer shot on the Smoker that had caught Coach, but it was already too late. The blaring alarm was already starting to bring them unwanted attention. Zombies were starting to emerge from all directions, seemingly angrier and more determined to get to them, almost as though they knew that the group was on the last stretch of their journey.
"Safehouse!" Rochelle cried out suddenly, pointing towards the blockaded end of the street where infected were starting to approach from, "Down there! If we haul ass, we can make it!"
"You heard the woman!" Coach yelled, opening fire on the oncoming horde, "Go now!"
Racing for the store at the end of the street, the group of five shot at their oncoming enemies with urgency but an accuracy developed from days of almost constant use of their weapons, thankfully eliminating the threats quickly. Once they were in the safe room, they slammed the door shut, barricading it as quickly as possible. Their exit was right next to where they'd entered, and they knew that this would get them behind the barricade that was currently swamped with infected. The car alarm was still screeching in the street, but the zombies seemed to have lost interest in the humans hiding away in an old Voodoo store and were focusing their anger now on the car that was blaring. It didn't take long for the car to be torn into submission and for it to be silenced, leaving the infected to finally calm down.
"We need to keep going." Rochelle whispered, looking out of the safe room door.
Nick was suddenly behind her, also getting a good look outside. Ellis was standing with Julia, his arm around her as she worriedly chewed her fingernails, while Coach was massaging his knee. The fall from the Smoker attack had caused him to fall a little awkwardly and his old injury had chosen this time, when their need to hurry was almost dire, to flare up again.
"Let me put some gel on your knee, Coach." Julia said softly, "It'll relieve the pain and keep my brain occupied while we wait for the zombies to calm down."
"Alright, honey." Coach said softly, sitting on the ground nearby, "Try not get yourself worked up. We need ya focused."
"I know." She whispered, a lump of emotion filling her throat, "I feel like every second that passes is..."
Four pairs of eyes slowly fell upon her as she helped Coach get the leg of his pants rolled up. They knew what she was saying without her even needing to finish her remark. Every second that passed felt like a second closer to dying. If they missed this potential evacuation, they were royally screwed and they all knew it. She quickly rubbed Coach's knee with the deep heat gel which had come in handy quite a lot recently, and once she'd managed to wash her hands with a bottle of water sitting nearby, the group found themselves with a good opportunity to go.
They opened the safe room door as quietly as possible, moving so slowly that it looked almost comical, and once they had a good view of the crowd of zombies behind the fence, they tried to sneak out onto the street to continue their journey without disturbing them. They'd been in the city for around five to ten minutes at the most, and they were already making what they felt was good progress.
Rounding the corner onto the street, they could see the entrance to Bienville Park. The fact that the area was empty only lead to further dread. That meant one of two things. Tank or Witch. The fact that crying wasn't audible to them, at least not yet, led them to think that they were going to be confronted with a Tank. In the most random of moments, while this horrible thought was going through their heads, it occurred to them suddenly as they set off wandering towards the park that the weather was beautiful.
Their dread at the impending encounter with some horrible monstrosity was suddenly replaced by an overwhelming sadness. There were so many thoughts flying through the minds of each person in that group that it was almost unbearable. Coach was thinking of the summer days when he'd be out on the football field, giving advice to the youngsters who looked up to him with genuine respect and with aspirations of achieving dreams that to some would be impossible.
Rochelle was thinking, very suddenly, of being on a bike ride with Francis. Their encounter had been short, yes, but Rochelle had found herself thinking of him more and more, wanting him more and more, with her heart growing heavier every time that handsome face entered her head. She'd wished for more time with him, and she vowed that if she ever met him again, she'd spend as much time with him as she could. She knew in her heart of hearts that she wanted to do so, and she knew that despite her hating it, could easily learn to ignore that stupid leather vest he wore.
Ellis was, of course, thinking of Zoey, and imagining what adventures they could have together on a day as beautiful as this... If she'd ever have him, of course. He didn't know if she would in truth, but he wanted to believe that if he took the time to get to know her more, she would want to be with him, and while everyone had ridiculed him about his sudden attraction to her, he knew it would be more appropriate to get to know her better and court her a little to seduce her. They could be walking through a park just like the one he and his friends were about to enter, or maybe just be lounging in the bed of his truck with a beer each and a blanket to lay on while they watched the clouds pass by, or maybe they could be in a boat on a lake somewhere doing a little fishing... Okay, so Zoey might not like many of those hobbies of his, but he wanted the opportunity to take her out on dates and get to know what she liked to do and didn't like to do. He missed that beautiful face and that sweet voice of hers. He hoped and prayed he might get the chance to see her again.
Nick was thinking about how nice it'd be to be taking Julia for a drive in a convertible with the roof down, just cruising along at their own pace to maybe go for a nice lunch and then take a walk on a beach. Julia was thinking of something similar, but not quite as busy. She was simply imagining the two of them having a picnic together in a field somewhere rural, and she knew a picnic would be something she'd have to maybe badger Nick into since his tastes were for a more expensive and classy kind of meal, but she imagined how great it would be to then lay in the grass together, basking in the sunshine, maybe even making out a little and perhaps...
A hand suddenly brought her out of her thoughts as calloused, rough fingers wrapped around her left hand. She looked up to see Nick still looking dead ahead, and her gaze then lowered to where he'd now taken her hand in his. His grip was so tight that it was almost painful, but as she looked back up towards his face, she could see why. His jaw was clenched and he was blinking quite rapidly, his chest almost heaving with each breath.
Nick, unbeknownst to her, was feeling a sadness he'd never felt before. It was almost like grief, and while he'd grieved for his mother when she'd passed away, this was so different. He was grieving for the experiences they may never have together. His mind was racing. If they were rescued, who was to say that CEDA and the military weren't just going to shoot them dead? What if they were separated and he never saw Julia again? He couldn't bear the idea of it, let alone the thoughts that were filling his head, and as he'd started to feel himself slipping, he'd grabbed her hand to remind himself that she was there with him, still breathing, still moving, still determined to get to safety and it was enough to ground him again.
He felt her return the grip he had on her hand, not with as much strength because she wasn't as strong as him, but it was a tight enough hold for him to feel reassured that she was just as anxious as he was. This was one of those things that he adored about Julia. She had this wonderful way of knowing what he needed, when he needed it, and she knew how to communicate her feelings to him without even having to part her lips. Nick carefully drew Julia's hand towards his lips, locked eyes with her, and kissed the back of the dainty limb in a lingering, but loving motion.
She offered him the most gentle of smiles, but it was, of course, marred with the same sadness that he was feeling, and as they climbed the concrete steps towards the park, they both let one another go, realising that their focus now had to be whatever lay ahead rather than the torment of maybe not getting out of this alive.
~ To Be Continued ~
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Thanks for reading this so far!