Summary: The war between Jotunheim and Asgard draws to a close, but thanks to a horrible twist of Fate (or perhaps not), the nameless runt of Laufey-King is not discovered by Odin and so begins a remarkable journey of life that should not have been. Jotun!Loki AU. Set pre-/during-/after Thor/Avengers Assemble. MCU-verse only.
Warnings: ANGST! Loki-whump! Language, adult situations, violence, child abuse, dub-con, sexual assault (also of a minor), substance abuse, one abortion scene (sort of), slavery, sex trade (maybe), some mild original character/Loki M/M pairings.
Comments: This is not a slash fic. Sorry. It's Loki-centric, although I definitely show the rest of the Avengers and etc. Please review! Constructive criticism welcome.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers. Marvel owns it. I do not get paid for this piece of work. Sadly, but understandably. LOL.
Well, I apologize for the short chapter last time. I hope I can make up for it with a bit of a doozy chapter this time around! Thanks to all who are reviewing and faving and alerting! Particularly a heartfelt thanks to my reviewers who are so awesome and let me know that people want to see more of this and that this isn't a waste of precious lifetime hours!
To: Ellie, Immortal Sailor Cosmos, Winter Cicada (wow! you joined!), ClaMiAl, Double-Gemini, DragonsFlame117 and wbss21 - THANKS A TON FOR CHATTING!
Ellie: Odin and Kol'la... hm... yes...
Winter Cicada: I can't reply to your awesome review since your private messaging is disabled. But thanks for your comments! I'm so glad you joined FF! I really think Jotunheim must not be forgotten, because eventually we will return there. Heehee. And of course, onward goes the story!
And of course, having awesome San Diego Comic Con stuff to see... Nerd HQ and all that... that was amazing! Tumblr is all gaga about it... and I love it.
Warning! Slavery! Warning! Angst! Warning! A SORT OF SEX SCENE! OH MY! Warning!
Distortions In Time
[Bitter Desolation, Incandescent Harmony]
Chapter 29
Gathering Light II
"It has been a while since we have been able to speak properly," she said drawing closer as his posture relaxed a little.
Glo-Glo had always been perceptive, he thought. A small hand rose to trail its way up his arm to rest on a strong, yet delicate collarbone.
"You have grown."
Kol'la didn't back away, but for a moment, he did not respond. His back stiffened a little again in response to her words and touch, feet placed apart in a strong stance. Kol'la looked down at the woman he had never thought to see again and considered her words. He guessed now, what kind of price he would have to pay. Suppressing his immediate response of amused and slightly mocking laughter (really, their vanity is so predictable and easy to manipulate) – then paused as he considered what he had been initially expecting.
Glo-Glo was a gift – and her unspoken request did not seem such a burden. No. And yet... and yet...
You have grown...
"I have." It wasn't quite a question, yet not quite a statement.
"Mmm... you are taller for certain."
He huffed then lightly – a short brief laugh and glanced down, noticing that the lithe dancer was right. Now a good head and a half taller than Glo-glo, Kol'la was able to enjoy the line of muscle that ran down her neck to her shoulders and plentiful bosom. A generous woman, he thought lazily, stupid but good-natured and able to see the bright side of life...
"Yes, I suppose I have gained some height," Kol'la agreed mildly. "I am more... mature now, I should think –"
"Ahhhh..." Glo-Glo swayed forward, allowing her weight to rest slightly on him, and her fingers rose to trace his lean muscles up to a well-chiseled jaw. "Very mature, Kol'la." At the slight pressure of painted blue nails, Kol'la's head turned downward and his lips brushed suddenly across the top of her nose. Teasingly. She shuddered at the soft touch. "And I think... there can only be good improvements, knowing you."
"Thank you."
Kol'la's reply was muffled a little as her nose slid along the side of his cheek, cool skin against cool, and her lips met his briefly. Plucked eyebrows over painted eyelids. Eyelids bedecked with small, stick-on jewels and light yellow pencilling, hiding her luminous eyes in ecstasy.
There was nothing but silence at the end of the long, dim hallway – but not true silence. Not empty silence. There was the hum of ancient lighting, the distant clatter of a cleaner's broom and a not-so-distant creak of an occupied bed down the way. There was the rustle of light fabrics moving against his heavier leathers and rough cotton. There was the sound of breath and a stifled moan. There was the slight hiss as his lips trailed across hers again briefly.
The tall young man pulled away then and for a moment, he blinked and then looked down, noticing how different Glo-Glo looked. Her rapid breath caused the tender swell of breasts to rise up and down rather erratically. A long dark tongue ran over reddened, swollen lips and the natural yellow of her eyes were nearly swallowed by the black of her pupils. Kol'la smiled then – a quick smile (what would you think of me now?). To whom was that thought sent, he wondered. He did not know.
"I used to think of you as oto'oa," he admitted, drawing her hand down in his, watching how she held on fiercely, her smaller fingers twining around his longer, thinner ones. "As a big sister –"
Glo-Glo laughed then.
"You were a small boy," she said. "This is different – because we are different. Because we can change. Kol'la," she smiled at him gently. "People can always change – and is that not a beautiful thing?"
He raised his bent head and quirked an eyebrow up at her, giving her the patent 'I'm-a-poor-cute-confused-lil'-boy' look which he had long since perfected for moments such as these. Glo-Glo even laughed more and kissed him on the nose.
Kol'la blushed, nodded and then he said, eyes suddenly sharp, "You brought it with you?"
"Ah, suddenly the businessman, Kol'la," Glo-Glo shook her head. "Well, I deserved it – letting you sucker me in like that. Here it is." The dancer pulled her side-satchel around and unbuckled it, unzipped an inner pocket and then a second pocket inside that one before carefully easing out a velvet bag. It filled the palm of her hand quite easily and she allowed him to take it. "As you ordered. Troaz made it just as you specified – and the payment you sent was adequate."
Deftly, Kol'la opened the black, velvety bag, revealing the stone, cut as he had ordered – glowing green eerily in the dim lighting, flashing an inner power – ready to accept his. If all goes well, he reminded himself. This is a first time. But then, he added philosophically, there is a first time for everything. There were four other smaller stones as well. All of them well-cut and varying shades of green and blue-green.
"You are pleased?"
"Very," he replied, carefully slipping the smaller stones inside to nestle with the large one inside.
"I am glad."
"Now there is the question of what you wish for your help in this matter."
Kol'la pocketed the stones away in his own side-satchel and looked back down at Glo-Glo, who smiled up at him again. She had always smiled for him, he remembered suddenly. Glo-Glo had been the kindest. Why? He did not know. Perhaps, he would never know. She rose up on her tip-toes and tugging at his neck a little, drew him in for another kiss. Or perhaps he did know... either way, it did not make sense.
These matters never did have much to do with sense, however, Kol'la reminded himself and shivered. Memories rose at her tender kiss and when her hands roamed over his shirt and down to his waist, Kol'la couldn't help but think of a mage's wandering hands, the thoughtless groping of drunk customers and those last few terrible weeks in the dark chained to a bed.
This thing – this gentle thing – this soft thing – Kol'la did not understand, but he would do his best. He pulled her to a small adjoining room which branched off the hallway. This was the usual place for secretive liaisons. A cleaning supplies closet complete with an appropriate pull-down bed for any workers exhausted from mucking blood in the infirmary or shat in the bathrooms. It would suffice.
In the half-dark, the room barely lit by a small wall-light, the two tugged off each others' clothing and found their way to the bed, caught in a small frenzy of touching and kissing. There was a fire within Glo-Glo and Kol'la began to catch it as well – the flame within his belly burning brighter with each passing second, with each bestowed touch and kiss – it was so hot and heady – and when he came up for air, the slender slave-boy (man, he was a man now) discovered that he had somehow manoeuvred himself on top of her. The natural way of things, he supposed, and for a moment, he considered her as he lay there, braced on his elbows and forearms. Her face was now glowing and slightly greener with the infusion of blood. Her lips were bussed and a little slick – and Kol'la wondered what she saw.
Glo-Glo drew back a little and watched him in return. Green fingers rose to run through his shorter, black hair and then to his shoulders now bunching with developed muscle – and then his lean biceps and forearms.
"Kol'la..." Her flatter nose crinkled a little.
"Hm."
"This isn't..." A pause, then she kissed his chin quickly before the experienced dancer pressed on. "This isn't your... first time, is it?"
Kol'la laughed then, a short, hard, bitter thing. A cutting thing. So old. He was so old – that is what he thought some days. So, so tired and old.
"No," he finally said. "Boss-man had thought to –"
"That is one way," Glo-Glo's finger pressed on Kol'la's lips gently, silencing him. "I speak of another."
"You mean the art of making love, then." Kol'la frowned. "Glo-Glo, I can create many things but this is –"
"We are not in love," she hastened to assure him, "but that does not mean there is no care... or – or joy. To delight in each other, that is the measure. Do you understand?"
"It's – I have experienced many things and I – I know... how it is done... seen it and I, know the basic rules, er, mechanics," Kol'la mumbled a little incoherently, feeling more inadequate than usual. "What if I cannot –" He could not meet her eyes. "I fear you have chosen the wrong... partner and will receive poor repayment –"
It was difficult to admit. She did not laugh and it helped. Gentle hands soothed tense back muscles as Glo-Glo's eyes caught his again in reassurance.
"No, Kol'la," she kissed him then on lips and cocked her head as if considering him. The light in her eyes was warm as if she had found some kind of treasure within the fineness of his pale flesh – as if she sensed the hidden power beneath. "No, cho'ai." A whisper in his ear and her long tongue darted out to run along the edge of a thin lobe, enjoying the catch of breath in response and the quivering of muscles underneath her palms. "It is my... delight... and honour."
And she drew him down.
[... here...]
[... another kind of magic is born...]
At some point, Kol'la began to gain an inkling of what Glo-Glo had meant. It was a different kind of energy and nothing like the fire and power of magic running through his veins. Not the same at all, he thought wildly at one point. At a soft murmur of instruction, Kol'la lowered his lips and discovered yet another new thing – happiness in the expression of another's rapture.
He would never forget this. Never forget...
[... birthed not out of the fires of a thousand suns...]
[... but the flames of two hearts meeting...]
They said nothing for a long time afterwards. Soft breath and a long embrace was all the communion they needed. At some point, the two fell asleep.
-0-0-0-
After Glo-Glo left out the back staff door, thanks to a smiling, winking cook who poked Kol'la and insinuated a variety of things (much to Kol'la's disgust), the young slave darted up to the dorm and slipped in silently. Stashing his treasure underneath his pillow, Kol'la laid down and stared up into the darkness, unable to see the ceiling, unable to see anything really. For a moment, all he could see was Glo-Glo's flushed face and glittering eyes. The warmth of Glo-Glo's arms about him.
Snorting in disgust, the Jotun-in-disguise rolled onto his side and tried to wrestle his thoughts back into submission. He pondered the Atraxia crystals behind his head and how he would fit them into his preferred weapon of choice – the spear. Kol'la considered the shape and size and then, after a moment, he took out the largest stone and channelled some magic into it as an experiment. It was easier done than he had thought - and his collar did not raise any kind of warning. As he had expected.
When the waking alarm bell rang, Kol'la was ready. The crystals were stashed in his side-satchel which he toted with him all day most of the time – the only secure location for them at the moment. Ignoring Thor and the others' jibes and guesses as to why he had risked punishment (something Kol'la rarely did without much forethought) and crept out after curfew, the magic user instead focused on getting to his spear and setting up the modifications as necessary.
He had much work to do.
[... they were coming...]
[... feel it...]
"Kol'la."
It was Master Shax. Kol'la stopped obediently and looked at Shax's chin – the safest place to stare without looking cowed. Watching the alien's slit mouth move, Kol'la imagined blowing the wealthy owner's head off with a particularly vicious blast of magic, or watching it flattening beneath the legendary Mjolnir. The mental exercise helped Kol'la keep his temper even as he listened to the rest of his master's words.
"I noticed you weren't in your bed last night."
"Ah –"
"No need to deny it - Hawa'o double-checked. Hm. Well, frankly, 'it's about time' is what I thought, initially," Master Shax cuffed his slave not unkindly. "I was beginning to wonder."
Kol'la did not reply.
"Was she worth it?"
Cool skin, supple flesh, amazing flexibility and the experience of many decades. A kind heart, a contented spirit, a generous soul. Kol'la had no desire to speak of such things to a man with a heart of coinage.
"Yes, sir." Kol'la replied dutifully, allowing himself to blush a little.
"Hm, well, just make certain it doesn't become something more – you know, what I am talking about. Regulation and all."
"Yes, sir."
No romance. Kol'la had told her that he was not able to make love, and that was still true in a way. For the first time, he felt regret, felt a hole where something was missing.
"Although, if it does become something regular, let me know who it is," grunted Shax. "I am sure your offspring would be inherit some of your better qualities as well."
Kol'la's skin crawled. A sudden urge to vomit overwhelmed him, but he merely nodded and, being released from Shax with a peremptory wave of the hand, the young Jotun moved onward to the training room. However, suddenly he had no stomach for working magic.
... your offspring, Shax had said...
As if I would inflict this life on another being. Kol'la vowed to himself, remembering Mayultha. Never. Then he paused and remembered the cruel words of the Jotunn youth from long ago.
... they are deformed? That they are even unable to bear children...
... The last thing Jotunheim needs is some kind of weakling breed leeching from its soil...
... Have you seen the others with child? The size of a Jotun babe would split its body in two...
... Forget the act of getting with child...
Kol'la paused, leaned back against another grey wall and stared up at the ceiling, trying to forget the memory – but it would not stop replaying in his mind. They had never believed that I would be able to sire children, he thought. I may never be able to sire children.
It does not matter, he told himself. It does not matter it does not matter it does not matter...
Later on that evening in the training gym, when Thor and Fandral teased Kol'la about the rumoured girl he had spent the night with, Kol'la snapped back, said a few choice words and got himself well beaten for it. As Thor trounced him on the mats, ending up with sitting on Kol'la's chest until he cried 'forfeit', the only thing the young Jotun could think of was the family he would never have, the children he would never hold. Not unless he was willing to inflict his runt-ish life on another Jotun babe, and should they be half-breeds -
- Toh's dark eyes -
- the spear descended -
And should they be half-breeds, he thought, what kind of monsters would they become then? Something savage as my people are considered or feral and deranged as Toh? Kol'la felt the weight ease off his chest and Thor was calling his name as if from far away, concern now lacing his usual booming voice.
... your offspring would inherit some of your better qualities as well, Shax had said...
He would never know.
Wow. Sudden sex scene and sudden angst... Depressing. On the other hand, plot is moving along! Odin is on his way, we know, and it seems like Loki and Thor will be ready for when he comes. When he comes.
I'm going on a trip, kinda business trip, for about 5 days, so my next update will be around this time next week. Or so. Maybe next Wednesday. I will be updating them a longer intervals since the school year will be starting up again. Once a week - and if I write a short chapter, twice.
Thanks a ton for tuning in!
Please review and let me know what you think!-KI
Information on Levels of Mage/Magical Abilities
Level 1 – Eno'sa (highest)
Level 2 – Eno'tho – Thanos
Level 3 – Eno'frei
Level 4 – Eno'ah – Elven Mages/Odin
Level 5 – Eno'ko – Asgard/Jotun/Any Other Healthy Realm Mage
Level 6 – Eno'yul – Sharda'aa/Regular Mage
Level 7 – Eno'vee – Uncollared Kol'la
Level 8 – Eno'mah – Collared Kol'la
Level 9 – Eno'lei
Level 10 – Eno'sanai (lowest)
Numbers (for this quadrant):
0 - nai
1 - sa
2 - tho
3 - frei
4 - ah
5 - ko
6 - yul
7 - vee
8 - mah
9 - lei
Alien Glossary:
'auzha – fucker
Dou'ma – idiot
r'senk'ne – a kind of deer/cow hybrid
n'ch'nka – a kind of cow
chi'iano – a radioactive piece of rock similar to uranium
kol-sava'atha – a titanium-rich ore
Morning-star - a mace.
oma'auzha – mother-effer
udji'oo – a drug, like opium
Jotunheim Glossary:
Aldinn Stathr – Ancient Place
Atfirth – energies
blakkrbjorr – black beer
Blakkrbjorn – black bear
blakkrgras – black grass
blargras – blue grass
Dagaheim
dvegr – dwarf
dyrspeki – zoologist
Eybjarg (Chasms of Forever)
fauld – a part of armour around the lower midsection
Flara River – Treacherous River
For-Eldra – Ancestors
Forn Vegr – Old Ways
Gastropnir
Gnottvatn (Lake of Abundance)
Gothahus – temple
Grarfjall – Grey Mountains
grarulfr – grey wolves
Griotunagardar
hafnathr – sea serpents
heillgrjot – healing stones
Heimsrsal – Soul of the Realm
heithrsker – crystal flowers
Holdra River – Hero's River
holkimurtr – small flat fish
Holkn Vollr – Flat Plains
holmganga – a method of ending feuds/disagreements
hota-eik – white oak
hvaeta – wheat
Innaheim – Inner Realm
jarnkottr – iron cat (beast which Laufey released in Thor)
jarnvithr – iron wood
Kaldrfjall (Cold Mountains)
Kero Fornvetr – Casket of Ancient Winters
kostrboth – a method of proving virility for the purpose of marriage
lagreinn – small one (epithet)
Lengi Ofrithr – Long War
luthrblom – trumpet flower
manisilfr – moonsilver
melrakki – white fox
Myrkr Skogr – shadow forest
Nattura – spirits
Northri Stjarna – North Star
silvralmr – silver elm
silvrfiskr – silver fish
Sithr Efingi – True Heir
Skalldi
skordyr – Jotunheim goat
snaerharra – snow rabbit
Storrholl – Great Hall
thurblakulfr – giant black wolves
tunglbom (moonflower)
ulfrbarn - wolf child
Utanheim – Outer Realm
Utgard
vaetki – nothing
ventrmellin – winter melon
villrkyr – wild ox
Virtha Aevi – Coming of Age
Vollrvatn – Lake of the Plains