A/N: Fasten your seat belts, my readers. Things get bumpy from here. I'd like to apologize to anyone who loves the song "Grenade" by Bruno Mars - the lyrics appear at the beginning of this chapter and possibly the next. I love BM and was surprised this was one of his songs because the first time I heard it, it reminded me of a stalker - and therefore is perfect for Mawher. So, if any of you out there love it and are offended, I apologize.
"I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya."
-Bruno Mars
Grayed out scene: close up of Abby's terrified face
Friday morning, 1:15 A.M.
Mikel lowered Abby to the bed, and as he stood back up, he brushed some of the hair out of her face, being careful to avoid the goose egg on the right side of her head.
"I'm so sorry, my angel," he whispered softly as his fingers ran lightly over her matted hair. "You know I wouldn't hurt you for the world – but I knew you wouldn't come with me. I know that once you wake up, and I've had a chance to explain, you'll see that I had no choice. Everything I've done is so we can be together. I love you and I know that given a little time, you'll realize you still love me."
Thursday morning, 7:05 A.M.
As Abby stepped off the elevator outside her lab with her shadow, Watkins, in her wake, she was amused to hear Tony and Ziva arguing over her 'Lab Manual for Dummies'.
"No, it doesn't go there – that's not what the manual says, Ziva!"
"But we have tried it that way two times and it has not worked, so I suggest-"
Her words were cut off by an alarm from Major Mass Spec and Abby couldn't stand it any longer. She burst into the lab, startling her friends with her sudden appearance.
"What the hell is going on in here? Tony, what did you do to Major Mass Spec?" Abby demanded as she set her lunch pail on the evidence table and went across to her baby.
"How do you know it was me?" Tony blustered.
Abby snorted as she pressed a series of buttons and the alarm stopped.
"Hey, how did you do that?"
Abby turned around to glare at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "What were you trying to do?"
"We were running the sand sample again," Ziva explained as she stepped between the two of them. "But someone pushed the wrong button."
"Why is everyone so quick to blame me?" Tony pouted.
"Maybe because you look so damn guilty, DiNozzo," Gibbs smirked as he strode into the lab.
"Thank you, boss, and good morning to you too."
"Gibbs, why were you having Tony and Ziva rerun the sand sample? Did you really think I missed something?" Abby was trying hard to keep her emotions under control but her hands were shaking. "I mean, this is Tim we're talking about – one of our own agents – I would never-"
Gibbs stepped into her personal space, and placed a finger against her lips, stopping her flow of words. "Abby, I would never question your professionalism – especially not on this case."
Her brows wrinkled. "Then why?"
"Because we've got to nail this bastard – after your phone call last night, I realized that the clock is ticking. It's only a matter of time before he tries to grab you and I want to be prepared when he does."
"Uh – are we missing something here, boss?" Tony broke in.
Gibbs stepped back and looked at his two agents. "Abby called me late last night to tell me that she got into McGee's home computer – and that she felt like she was being watched."
Ziva looked at Abby in concern. "You think Mawher is out there somewhere, watching you?"
Abby shrugged. "I know it sounds paranoid but-"
Tony shook his head. "No, he had all those surveillance photos last time, remember? It would make sense that he's watching you again."
Abby rolled her eyes. "Thanks, I feel so much better."
Gibbs addressed Watkins, who was standing silently against the wall. "Did anything happen during the night?"
"No, it was quiet, Agent Gibbs."
Gibbs pressed him. "And you saw no one around the building – no one when you looked out the window?"
"No, sir, I didn't. But if he was across the street in another building-" Watkins left the sentence unfinished and a look of understanding flashed between the two men.
"DiNozzo, Ziva, take a photo of Mawher and canvas the buildings in McGee's neighborhood. I want to know if he's been seen by anybody or more importantly, if he's rented an apartment with a view of McGee's apartment."
"On it, boss," Tony barked, smothering a yawn behind his hand. "Do you mind if we-"
Gibbs smiled. "You can stop for coffee on the way, Tony."
Tony grinned and nearly ran from the lab before Gibbs could change his mind. Ziva lingered to ask how McGee was.
"There hasn't been any change."
Abby swallowed the tears in the back of her throat and went to hang up her coat as Ziva left. She felt more than heard Gibbs come up behind her, and Abby had to physically brace herself not to lose control over the emotions.
"Did you get any sleep last night, Abs?"
"Some – not much." She shrugged as she turned around, offering him a weak smile.
His eyebrows rose in surprise as he took in her attire. "I didn't know you went to MIT."
Abby felt her face flush as she stepped around him. "You know I didn't." She stepped up to the computer and began to type furiously. "It's Tim's. I know it's weird – but it makes me feel like he's here with me. If only he could see me now, right? All the fights we used to have about him going to MIT – like it was so much better than any other school and - oh Gibbs-"
Suddenly he was there, wrapping her in his arms, and she buried her face in his collar, inhaling the scent of coffee and sawdust. For a few moments she allowed herself to cry and then she pushed him away.
"Enough of that – I've got work to do. You wanted that sand retested – your wish is my command, sir!"
Gibbs smiled. "Don't call me sir, Abs."
"Yes, ma'am." Her eyes twinkled with their old joke.
He chuckled as he drew her close one last time and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Green suits you."
Thursday morning, 9:30 A.M.
"Gibbs is going to kill us if he finds out."
Tony grinned at Ziva as he played with the fingers of her left hand. "And how is he going to find out, Sweet Cheeks? Are you planning on telling him?"
Ziva shook her head. "No, I am not – but he seems to find out things without being told. I think he is a physicist."
Tony frowned at her for a moment before he laughed. "A psychic? No, it's just that famous Gibbs gut, honed to perfection after all these years of sniffing out the bad guys."
"So, you do not think he will find out we went to breakfast instead of going straight to work canvassing McGee's neighborhood?"
"Ziva, relax-" Tony's words were cut off as his phone rang. "Hey, boss. No, nothing yet. We still have –" he sighed and was silent for a moment. "Yeah, I understand. No more breaks until we have something." He hung up and avoided eye contact with Ziva.
She snorted through her fingers. "Breasted!" she crowed.
His mouth twisted into a one sided smile as he grabbed her hand and slid out of the booth. "Busted."
Thursday, 11:30 A.M.
She didn't want to do it. She knew she had been stalling. It was Tim's private thoughts – his dreams, his desires, his fantasies and if, no when, he woke up and discovered that she had violated his privacy and read some of his journal entries, there was no telling how he would react.
True, she would have Gibbs to back her up. She was just following orders – after all, this was something she did everyday in the course of their cases to profile the victim and suspects. But damn it! McGee wasn't just another victim – he was her best friend, even though she had done a piss poor job over the years of showing it. And if she had anything to say about it, he would be her lover again as well.
Abby expelled a nervous breath as she collapsed in her desk chair. Is that what she wanted – to be his lover? For how long? She knew that McGee had wanted a long term, committed relationship from her – that was the main reason they had broken up all those years ago. The very idea of tying herself down to one person scared her beyond words and she had run, even though she had loved him. Abby started at the thought. Yes, she had been in love with him back then – that was why her fear had been so great. She hadn't been ready. Was she ready now?
And did Tim still want her?
Abby knew that it was very possible some of the answers would be found in Tim's journal but she didn't want to find out that way. She wanted to wait until he woke up and they could talk together, face to face. It wasn't right to violate his privacy. Not unless and until they had exhausted every other avenue available.
Her computer beeped, signaling a new email message and Abby clicked on her inbox. She scanned the message from her friend at Graphic Ink and smiled.
"Gotcha."
Friday morning, 2:05 A.M.
Pain.
Abby moaned at the pain radiating from her head. Her mouth felt dry and for some reason her tongue was glued to the top of her mouth. She tried to lick her lips, to get some moisture into her mouth, but something prevented her. Panic gripped her as she realized she was gagged.
Fighting to keep her fear under control, she tried to move her hands, only to discover that they were tied behind her back. She could feel the rope around her ankles as well. It was time to open her eyes and see exactly where she was and start formulating a plan of escape. The problem was her eyelids still felt incredibly heavy and the slightest movement only increased the pounding of her head.
A few minutes more wouldn't hurt anything.
Thursday, 2:15 P.M.
"So, where's your team, Agent Gibbs? I thought you called this debrief for two o'clock and it's-" Vance paused as he glanced at his wristwatch. "Fifteen after."
Gibbs' lips twitched as he fought a smile. "You got a previous engagement, Leon?"
"This isn't my only appointment this afternoon."
"Well, I can give you a private debrief later if you have to-"
The elevator dinged and Tony and Ziva stepped off, bickering. "We would not be late if you had let me drive!" Ziva was shaking her fist in Tony's face.
"You're kidding, right? Ziva, not even your crazy ninja skills could move us through bumper to bumper traffic through Georgetown unless you drove on the sidewalk!"
"Do not think I have not done it!"
"Not while you are on duty, I hope, Agent David," Vance broke into their argument.
Tony and Ziva broke apart, both of their faces flushing in surprise.
"I am sorry, Director, I did not see you there," Ziva murmured.
"Maybe that's because you were talking about how you would hit pedestrians-"
"HEY!" Gibbs yelled. "Can we get started or do I need to give you both head slaps first?"
"Sorry, boss. It's been long morning." Tony dropped his pack beside his desk and collapsed into his desk chair. He pulled out a small memory card and inserted it into his computer.
"Tell me it's at least been a productive one."
Tony nodded at Ziva to proceed while his fingers flew across his keyboard. "It has. We found that Mawher has rented an apartment across the street from McGee's, under the name of Reynolds."
"His sister's last name?" Vance asked.
Ziva nodded. "The manager of the building, Greeley, showed us a copy of Mikel's drivers license with the last name of Reynolds."
"Now I wonder how he came by that," Gibbs speculated.
Tony shrugged as he pulled up some images on the plasma. "Well, Mawher used to stage crime scenes, maybe he's graduated to making phony IDs." He stood and aimed the clicker at the screen. "Right, here's the exterior of the apartment building and here is an interior shot of Mawher's apartment. As you can see, there's not much here – just a cot, a change of clothes and some high powered binoculars."
"All the better to see you with, my dear," Vance muttered.
"And this, is the view from Mawher's apartment."
Silence fell over the room as they all stared at the exterior of McGee's apartment building.
Finally Vance cleared his throat and pointed at a set of windows. "Is that Agent McGee's apartment?"
Tony clicked again and the next slide appeared, a blow up of the windows. "Yes."
Vance swore and Gibbs's jaw tightened. "Dinozzo, when was this apartment rented?"
"Two months ago."
The elevator dinged and Abby raced into the bullpen. "Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! I heard back from Graphic Ink via email and I just now got off the phone with their lead design artist. She's willing to testify that she designed and inked that tattoo for Mikel Mawher nine months ago."
Gibbs looked at Vance. "Enough for a warrant, Leon?"
"More than enough. I'll call metro and let them know what we've got and see if it helps their case with Cassie."
Gibbs nodded. "Tony, Ziva, get over to Abby's neighborhood and canvas it. My gut tells me Mawher's got another apartment over there too."
Abby paled. "What?"
Tony's shoulders slumped slightly at the thought of heading out again but Ziva hit him in the back of the head and he glared down at her.
"Come on, I will drive," she said sweetly.
"Like hell you will!" he raced her to the elevator.
"Gibbs, what's going on? What do you mean, another apartment?"
"Abby, sit down, I have something to tell you."
"You're scaring me." Abby bit her lip as she perched on the edge of his desk.
He sighed. "I know. But Tony and Ziva found out that Mawher had rented an apartment across the street from McGee-"
Abby's shoulders slumped. "So he was watching me last night!"
Gibbs nodded.
She shook her head. "I don't understand. Why would he be watching Tim? It's me he wants."
"He must have thought Tim was a threat."
"But why? We aren't dating, Gibbs, I swear."
"Abby, have you read McGee's journal yet?"
She squirmed on his desk.
He placed a hand on her knee. "Abby?"
"I can't, Gibbs. Please don't ask me! It's an incredible invasion of privacy and Tim will never forgive me."
Gibbs sat quietly for a moment as he mulled over his words. "Even if it provides a motive and saves your life?"
She groaned at his words. "That's hitting below the belt."
"I know. I won't ask you to share anything you find unless it pertains directly to Mawher. But I really must ask you to read it."
Abby sighed. "You know I can't say no to you."
Thursday, 5 P.M.
Abby skimmed over as much as she could. She simply didn't want to know how attractive Tim had found Cassie, though she did find it interesting that they had met in his favorite bookshop. It was a very small, out of the way place that most people passed right by without seeing. Cassie said she had heard about it from someone but couldn't remember who. Abby fought down the suspicions inside of her. Had Mikel been following McGee and set up the casual meeting, hoping his sister would fall for Tim? Abby shook her head and continued reading.
It was evident from Tim's writing that he felt something for Cassie. But he was feeling guilty over something and she wondered what it was. When she read the entry about her own lunch with him, her heart nearly stopped as she read his words.
Days like today are such exquisite torture – to have her so near and yet so far. While she was talking, telling me about the fears she harbors about us going off and not coming back from a mission and she let me play with the fingers of her right hand – I felt so complete. I felt like I could die happy just sitting there in that restaurant holding my Abby's hand. It was such juxtaposition to the date I had had earlier in the week in that very restaurant with Cassie. That evening she had been pressed up against my side in the booth and I could feel her breathing next to me. Her cheeks would flush whenever her eyes would meet mine and she would lean towards me, almost as if she was waiting for me to kiss her. But I couldn't. I didn't want to. Today, sitting in that same space with my Abby, playing with her hand, I could feel my body responding to her. It didn't matter that there was a table separating us. It didn't matter that we haven't been together in years. She is the only one who makes me feel alive anymore and yet for her, I am just McGee.
Yes, days like today are such exquisite torture.
The tears were streaming down Abby's face as she touched the screen, wishing that she were touching McGee's face instead.
"I do love you," she whispered.
Thursday, 5:30 P.M.
"I need a pizza."
"Is food all you ever think about?"
"No."
Ziva let out a little shriek as Tony spun her into his arms.
"Sometimes I think about- OW!"
"Gibbs said no breaks, remember?"
"He was talking about food."
She cocked her head at him and smiled. "Was he?"
"He was. Come on, just a little-"
Ziva melted for a moment against him. "No, you are a bad influence on me, Agent DiNozzo."
"But you love me anyway, Agent David."
Ziva froze and the teasing grin slipped from Tony's lips. "God, Ziva, I wasn't thinking. Please, don't-"
"Tony, it is all right." She jerked open the door of the apartment building and strode inside.
He groaned and gave himself a head slap. "Good going, DiNozzo, telling the girl she loves you before you say the words to her. Brilliant! Why don't you just go jump over that cliff now." He entered the building to find his partner leaning against the wall, waiting for him.
"I was beginning to think you ran out into the street."
"Ziva-"
"Not now, Tony."
"But-"
"Later!" She turned on her heel and led the way down the hall to the manager's apartment, knocking loudly on the door. After a few minutes, she knocked again, louder still.
Tony grabbed her wrist. "Don't break the door down. I don't think he's home."
A door opened across the hall and a middle aged woman in curlers poked her head out. "Mr. Shay is out."
Tony flashed his badge. "Agents DiNozzo, David, NCIS. Do you know when he'll be back?"
Curlers snorted. "When the race track's closed for the day."
Tony grinned and pulled out his photo of Mawher. "We're actually looking for this man. Do you know him?"
"Yup. Reynolds, 3B. Now if you'll excuse me, my soup's going to boil over." The door slammed shut.
Ziva grinned. "You have such a way with women."
Tony groaned. "Come on. If you're a good girl, maybe I'll let you pick the lock."
Thursday, 6:30 P.M.
After tonight's date, I really should break things off with Cassie. It's not right to let her think I could come to feel more for her than friendship. I've tried, God knows I've tried but the feelings just aren't there. I know that Cassie wants to take our relationship to the next level and that she's puzzled by the fact that I haven't made the next move and slept with her. She's probably beginning to wonder if I'm a virgin, which I'm most definitely not. After being with Abby – well, that's the problem, isn't it? She was my first and I'm beginning to think she'll be my only.
Abby felt like she couldn't breathe. Of course she had known McGee was a virgin – they'd shared their sexual history, or in his case, lack of one when they'd been together. But was he really saying he hadn't been with anyone since her?
I mean let's face facts here, old boy. Your dating record is downright scary. There was the woman who stole your credit card and ran up all those bogus charges. Then there was that date with the cheerleader on Halloween that didn't happen. Next, there was that female gamer that Dinozzo made up – she wasn't even real! And don't forget the woman you met in the coffee shop who tried to kill you, literally, to find out where a suspect was. Yep, winners one and all.
Cassie seems to be a perfectly nice girl but I have to admit that I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop because when it comes to my love life, it always does. Abby is the only girl I've been with who has liked me for me, accepted me for me, and yet I still lost her. If I can't hold onto a girl like that. . . .
Anyway, back to tonight's date. Cassie was really pulling out all the stops. She wore a low cut, short dress that showed all her curves and when she bent over, I lost my train of thought to say nothing of my power of speech. I knew that she had high hopes for the evening but I still felt – nothing. Perhaps I really am destined for monkhood. After dinner, instead of taking her to my place like she'd hoped, I drove her home. I could feel her tension with every passing mile and when I pulled into the driveway she got out without waiting for me to come around and open her door. I jumped out and asked her to wait, that I wanted to talk.
"About what?"
"I'm sorry, Cassie – I know this isn't how you wanted the evening to end."
"Is it me, Tim? Did I-"
"No! No, I just-"
She nodded. "There's someone else."
I flinched. "That's not- she doesn't-" I stopped, not knowing how to end that sentence. "I'm sorry."
"I know. Can we – start over?"
I smiled. "I'd like that. Can I call you later?"
She smiled sadly. "I think I need some time. Maybe we can go to lunch on Monday?"
I left, agreeing to call her at work Monday morning to see if we were both free. I'm not sure how I feel. Maybe we'll be able to work through this – maybe we won't. Do I want this to work with Cassie? I still can't shake the feeling that there's something she's not telling me about herself. And the whole time we were talking outside her house tonight, I felt like we were being watched but there were no other cars in the driveway and she told me she lives alone.
I keep telling myself that I'm being paranoid, that it's just my history with women that's making me gun shy. But at the same time Gibbs has told me to always trust my gut. Maybe I should talk to him about all this. Perhaps after my lunch with Cassie on Monday.
Abby bit back a sob as she closed Tim's journal. She had found the motive. Mawher must have overheard the conversation that night between Cassie and McGee. If only Tim had shared his suspicions with Gibbs earlier – no, she wouldn't go down this road. She reached for her phone to call Gibbs when the phone on her desk rang.
"Abby Scuito."
"Ms. Scuito, this is Dr. Hart-"
"Dr. Hart, is Tim all right?"
"That's why I'm calling. I wanted to let you know I'm lifting the no visitor restriction and I was wondering if you could come by-"
Abby jumped to her feet, her heart pounding. "I'm on my way!"
Thursday, 7:15 P.M.
"Watkins, we have to get there before eight! That's when visiting hours end!" Abby wailed.
The agent grimaced as he clenched the wheel tighter. "I have no control over the traffic, ma'am."
"Don't call me ma'am!" she huffed as she lapsed into silence.
"Are you sure we shouldn't have left a message for Agent Gibbs?"
"I told you I left him a message on his desk. He doesn't check his email and wherever he is his cell wasn't getting reception."
"I don't think we should have just left NCIS without-" just then there was a popping sound and the car lurched violently to the side.
"Oh no! Not now!" Abby groaned.
Watkins pulled onto the shoulder of the highway. "Stay here."
Abby raised her eyebrows. "Do you know how to change a flat?"
Watkins flushed. "No, but-"
Abby grinned as she opened her door. "Then you stay here. I'll have us going again in a jiffy."
Fortunately the flat was on her side of the car, or else she would have had to ask Watkins to get out as well. Rolling up her sleeves, Abby got to work. Once she had the car jacked up and the tire off, she knew she was in the home stretch. As she lifted the spare out of the trunk she heard footsteps approaching.
"Need help, ma'am?"
"No, thank you, I've got it covered."
"Well, in that case-"
"Abby, who are you-" Watkins asked as he opened his door.
There was a blinding pain as something collided with her skull and Abby screamed as the world went black.
Friday morning, 5:30 A.M.
Abby moaned as she felt a light pressure on her shoulders.
"Wake up, sleeping beauty."
The voice was familiar but she couldn't place it and for some reason, hearing it didn't make her want to open her eyes. She shifted her head slightly and the throbbing increased. She moaned again and she felt fingers stroking her cheek softly. With a greater effort she could ever remember it taking, she forced her eyes open.
Mikel Mawher was lying next to her on the double bed, his fingers stroking her cheek, smiling at her in adoration.
"Good morning, my beautiful Gothic angel."
A/N: dun dun dun! Mikel's got Abby . . . was that really Dr. Hart that called? And what happened to Agent Watkins? All this and more coming up! Reviews are L-O-V-E.