You guys are the absolute best group of followers ever! Reading y'alls reviews made me SOOO happy that you liked the last chapter. I've been veering off of the other characters a little trying to make room to develop Daryl and Rose but I realized(thanks to some reviews!)that we definitely need the side characters just as much as the main ones so be expecting more of that to come! I'm starting to fall for our little family now:) Welp, y'all enjoy and tell me what you think:):)
"Rose.." I hear a voice call behind me but I'm too fixated on tying up the mans body to care who, "Rose, stop. Let go of it."
"Him." I say bitterly, gritting my teeth.
"Huh?" The person sounds completely dumbfounded, which causes the anger inside me to soar.
I whip my body around, seeing red and my vision starting to blur with tears, "HIM! He's not an IT! He was a person!" I yell, my body trembling, "And I don't want your help." I spit those last words as if they were poison.
It's only after I wipe away the burning tears that I realize who had just gotten the brunt of my outrage. Daryl stands there, a flash of pain tears through his blue eyes but it's gone like a fleeting thought, his features being stoic once again, "Suit yourself. I'll follow ya to the burn pit." He says, giving me a look that lasts a little too long.
I turn around, grunting at his offer, and begin tying the rope around the burly mans ankles.
-Don't need anyones help. Sure as hell didn't have any body to help me for ten damn months out here all alone! My mind rants on, but as the anger turns into sadness, I regret my words and thoughts.
-You're acting like a child. You're not alone now, you have no reason to carry this entirely on your shoulders anymore. That's what family is for, Jake or your parents would do the exact same.
"Daryl..I- I'm," I begin to apologize, yet I look back to see only empty space behind me. "Sorry." I mutter the last word to nothing, exhaling deeply as I finish the sinister job.
The ride to the burn pit seems even longer than usual as we share the silence with only the sound of the horses hooves striking the ground and the quietly relentless dragging of the body behind me. I wish, even long, to hear his voice telling me that everything will be alright, that I can't let this man get to me. My mind wonders back to our kiss in the barn, how I had felt so safe in his arms, and now, how I could stay in his embrace forever and be perfectly content. Yet, wishes and longings were childsplay, even more so in this new, hellish world. I shake my head, sighing when I still fail to rid myself of the foolish wants.
"Don't even know his name." I say quietly, more to myself than Daryl, but he moves up to ride beside me.
"You can't think like that," He says to me, "drive yourself crazy."
I sneak a glance over to him, only to find him looking right back at me. My heart flutters and begins to race for a moment until I look away, feeling the flush of blood rushing to my cheeks.
"Daryl.." I say, still wanting him to hear my apology.
He looks ahead now, "Hmm?"
"I.. I'm sorry." I confess, "For what I said earlier in the barn. I do need help.." I pause for instant, taking in a deep breath before letting it out slowly to add, "I just wish I didn't." I finish.
-There. It's done. He knows you're weak, but it needed to be said. Right?All the thoughts and questions begin flooding through my brain, and I feel the anger and sadness boiling over again.
"We all need a lil help. Ain't none of us above it, 'specially you." He says back, looking at me seriously before playfully throwing a little ball of unrecognizable material at me, causing me to jerk Chenoa's reins. She lets a snort as she corrects herself, shaking her head at me.
"Sorry, sorry.." I coo at her, patting her neck.
I look up to notice our arrival at the burn pit. I sigh deeply, trying best I can to prepare myself when I feel Daryl's big hand take mine. He was standing by Chenoa now, looking up at me as reassuringly as I figure only Daryl can. I let him pull me down, feeling his hands hold me steady as I hit the soft, grassy earth.
My breathing becomes erratic at his closeness and I seriously scold myself for acting like such a little girl in his presence. I dare a tiny glance up at him, and he gives me a little smirk followed by a short, but so uncharacteristically sweet, kiss on my forehead before releasing me to retrieve the tied up corpse.
While he's occupied, I busy myself gathering the kindling and plenty of kerosene, carrying them to scorched black pit. As I watch him drag the blanket covered man to the edge of the pit, I move to gently take the feet from him, still feeling the need to finish it myself. I grit my teeth, letting the tears fall and watching them darken the wool they hit.
"Heavenly father," I begin, not looking at anything but the blanket, "take this soul with you. Lead him on your righteous path in your kingdom." I say, finally settling him in, "Forgive me for my sin Father." I finish. Stepping out of the shallow hole, I grab the metal container of kerosene and douse the body entirely before bundling all the dry sticks around the figure.
Daryl holds a single book of matches out to me, I take them gently, still feeling the damp, salty tears on my face but I simply don't have the strength to care. Striking one match, I use it to light the rest of the book, until they are blazing in a small ball of light. I finally throw the flame onto the blanketed silhouette, flinching at the instantaneous burst of heat consume my body.
"God, forgive me." I whisper, looking up at the clear sky.
"He'll understand." Daryl says from behind me.
I turn to him and watch as pain crosses his strong features at the sight of my red eyes and tear stained cheeks. He crosses the distance between us in easy steps, taking me in his arms. I'm shocked at his boldness for a short moment before I grasp him tightly, burying my face in his plaid shirt, taking in his signature woodsy scent.
"You gotta quit bein' such a baby, lil' girl." I hear him say as he tugs my hair from its ponytail.
I give a small, tired laugh, "Shut up."
The words muffle into his shirt but he still manages to hear and responds with an amused grunt. I pull away, quickly wiping my face as best I can. Ugh! Is there ever going to be a moment you aren't a blubbering basket case around him?! My thoughts cascade with accusations and insults but I push them away, choosing to maybe care to listen later.
I sit down, defeated, in the tall grasses at first, but soon find myself laying down, looking up to the cloudless, blue abyss above us. Daryl moves to stand over me, giving me a quizzical look, "Whatya doin'?", he asks in a curious voice.
"Well, one could say I'm lying in the grass," I answer in a sarcastic voice, "but I'm not sure how to translate that your boonedock slang." I finish, giving him a devilish grin as I pat the ground beside me.
"Hmmf." Is all he manages to come back with, and after another short, questioning look and a shake of his head, his body is lying right next to mine, our shoulders touching, my hand caressing his.
I feel giddy all over at how close he is to me, even though we're around each other often, it's never the same as this closeness. The feeling of a mutual want, a need for intimate human contact, is what makes just laying in the grass next to him feel like a heaven-sent moment in time that I wish would last forever. Sadly, the reality of things is never but a few steps behind, and is always quick to knock me off my high horse.
I sigh, closing my eyes for a second longer, "We gotta get back. There's so much to do." I say, reluctantly pushing myself up off the ground.
Daryl is up now too, and walking toward Raven as I take one final glance at the flame engulfed body. I breath out deep and long, wanting to finally rid myself of the guilt. You're forgiven, you're justified, you did what it took to survive. I repeat the words, vainly trying to believe them, yet feeling like it will be a lifetime before I actually can.
I turn around, looking at Chenoa staring back at me and Daryl watching me from atop Raven back. "I'm coming, I'm coming." I say to them easily.
"'Bout time." Daryl says, giving me a cross look.
I shoot back with an icy glare, and childishly stick my tongue out as I nudge Chenoa past him. I hear one of his faint grunts from behind me but I keep pushing the big mare until she finally decides to break into a run, and I no longer hear anything at all but the wind rushing in my ears and Chenoa's heavy footsteps pounding the earth hard and fast. I let out a loud, genuine laugh, feeling free, even if it is for only this one moment. Yet, to me, this rare moment is like a drop of water in a parched desert, it gives me life. The feeling of being so alive, when all that seems to exist anymore is death and sorrow, burns through me for a brief moment, but it's just long enough for the flame to catch deep within.
-It begins.