Summary: The war between Jotunheim and Asgard draws to a close, but thanks to a horrible twist of Fate (or perhaps not), the nameless runt of Laufey-King is not discovered by Odin and so begins a remarkable journey of life that should not have been. Jotun!Loki AU. Set pre-/during-/after Thor/Avengers Assemble. MCU-verse only.
Warnings: ANGST! Loki-whump! Language, adult situations, violence, child abuse, dub-con, sexual assault (also of a minor), substance abuse, one abortion scene (sort of), slavery, sex trade (maybe), some mild original character/Loki M/M pairings.
Comments: This is not a slash fic. Sorry. It's Loki-centric, although I definitely show the rest of the Avengers and etc. Please review! Constructive criticism welcome.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers. Marvel owns it. I do not get paid for this piece of work. Sadly, but understandably. LOL.
Thanks to all those who reviewed! I hope you enjoyed the special side-story I wrote. Thanks to: wbss21, ClaMiAl, NX-Loveless-XN, Winter Cicada, MikoHatome, soupcan, Biabara, DragonsFlame117, Ireland Ranger, Anarane Oronra and The Soul Soldier.
Double double toil and trouble! On all fronts... In this fanfic, lots of it. In my real life, tons. My dad was diagnosed with viral meningitis..Seriously? What? I know... weird... and my allergies brought my immune system down crashing, so I've got a cold AND a growing case of some bizarre form of eczema called... dishydosis or something. T_T
Between illness and class prep and stuff, I may not update for a good week after this. Depends how I feel this week. (crosses fingers) Here's to hoping!
Distortions In Time
[Bitter Desolation, Incandescent Harmony]
Chapter 39
A Glimpse of Destiny II
When the youth of Vanaheim's Court finally arrived in Asgard, the entire city and, even more so, the Palace were in a tizzy of expectation. Servants rushed about surrounded by a perpetual barrage of commands. Housekeeping staff revisited musty guest chambers in a whirlwind tour of the further recesses of the castle. Stable-hands and their boys found themselves pressed into various duties including re-cleaning the entire Royal Stables from top to bottom until they sparkled – if stables could sparkle, providing maintenance around the Courtyard and Palace and other various errands... if they weren't already working on their own daily duties. Maids cleaned and gossiped and tittered and giggled at the tales of the nonsense the young Lords of Vanaheim could get up to when abroad. No better than young Prince Thor, if you asked them.
The youth of the Royal Court of Asgard, the young lords and ladies therein, who had disappeared into the countryside for familial matters or late spring holidays, returned to the capital with high hopes of getting Court invitations to the various functions that would no doubt be held. Many a morning was spent waiting for the red and brown-clad messenger boys who brought with them excessive bundles of vellum filled with gorgeous cleric scripts and carefully worded invitations to balls and hunts and tea parties and the like. Of course, the amount of invitations you received equated a certain social status, so, as the days passed by, nervous young ladies and excited young lords were filled with intense expectation more usual during the Winter Solstice celebrations.
The Mage's Court was in no better state. This annoyed Kol'la no end, for the young scholar was more interested in completing his final dissertation on the use of heat energies for self-sustaining travel through the Void. High-Mage Agaeti had shown uneasy approval of the project, but had allowed Kol'la to continue, knowing that obstruction would only fuel the young scholar's insatiable curiosity even more.
At any rate, unlike most Apprentices, Kol'la had already completed the exam for Apprenticeship and was now speeding through higher level Acolyte work in an effort to combine both achievements into one graduation. He had no time for Thor's discussions on the joys of tumbling young Vanaheim ladies or Fandral's inane babbling concerning various Court gossip (which usually amused Kol'la and gave him idea for well-meant pranks – but not these days) or Volstagg's perusal of the Queen and her Handmaiden's plans for the feast entrees. Sif and Hogun, after Kol'la had nearly turned red from annoyance, had recognized Kol'la's need for peace and pulled a protesting Thor and Fandral away.
As he watched yet another group of gabbling, low-level Apprentices pass by in the corridor just outside his room, Kol'la sighed and shook his head. He knew what was coming – long-winded speeches, eternally revolving dances and outrageous amounts of feasting and drinking which would last until all hours of the wee morning. Interminable feasts offering nauseating amounts of food and mead... and drunk fools to boot, Kol'la grimaced and then brightened at the thought of seeing Sif standing about uncomfortably in a fine gown. At least, I will not be the only one miserable. And Vanaheim is a magical place – the homeland of Lady Frigga – so perhaps there will be some interested in discussing magic...
BAM! The wooden door to his small, spartan chamber banged open as two lower-level Apprentices and a young Healer burst in: Thykka, Hael and Spaeyk. Kol'la scowled and was about to reprimand them snottily on destruction of Academy property (as if he had never done that before) when he caught sight of the stack of scrolls and brown squares in their hands. Blue eyes dancing and pushing back her long hair which had fallen out of its neat bun, Hael, currently the Academy's only female Mage Apprentice, laid her bundled down with triumph and stepped back to allow her fellow Apprentice Thykka and the Apprentice Healer Spaeyk to follow suit.
"Kol'la!" she said, nearly jumping up and down, which caused Kol'la to glare darkly at the three even more. "Your box was overflowing so Master Eskol told us to bring it to you. You know how he gets when things look messy – and with the lords and ladies -"
"I know, I know," Kol'la rubbed his brow, leaving an even bigger smear of ink across it. "And you also know that I have no interest -"
"Ah! How can you say that!" protested Thykka, scrabbling through the invitations. "You have the most out of all of us here. Even more than the Aggra."
"You should not speak of High-Mage Agaeti in that manner," gasped Spaeyk nervously looking about as if expecting the aged magician to appear from underneath Kol'l'a's bed.
"Well, that aside," Kol'la waved his hand dismissively (and smiling just a bit that his nickname of 'Aggravation' had stuck). "They could send me a mountain of missives. I will not go."
"Seriously?" sighed Thykka. "Well, you would be the one to say no..."
"What a shame," agreed Hael, opening up one invitation and then paused at the sight of Kol'la's evil eye before shrugging and continuing. "What? It is not as if you are going to answer them, Kol'la... I need to see what you got. We have a running tally and that bikkja, Kayra, has been saying she is about to get the most. I pointed out your pile, but she said you would not respond to the letters, so they do not count."
"She really has it out for you, Kol'la," Spaeyk sat on Kol'la's bed, ignoring another look of disapproval. "Ever since that time..."
"She deserved it," Thykka laughed. "You remember her face? I laughed so hard... my cheeks hurt."
"And that is saying something," Kol'la grumbled.
"OK. Come, Thykka, and help me to tally these up. A hunt. You writing this down? Here – I have my scrip and pen."
Thykka began to write up a running tally as Hael opened the letters. Attempting to focus on the intricacies of sigil-work in Void-space, Kol'la found himself listening to Hael's soft running patter.
"Let us see what Kol'la has here. Amazing. A hunt. Got that? And this one is... another hunt... but this one is with the High Court. How did you get that kind of invitation, Kol'la?"
"There is probably some rich old dame who-"
There was a short scuffle as Kol'la kicked Thykka in the shins and when everyone was more or less calm again, Hael's stack had increased a bit as the girl continued unmoved by the short tussling match.
"Two hunts so far. A dance. Another dance. A feast. A tea party. Oh, here is two more tea parties – no – no, Thykka, that makes three tea parties. And two dances. And two hunts. And a feast. Here is... a ball. The big one to which everyone is invited. Another tea party. You will be drinking a lot of tea..." Thykka made a face behind Hael's back. "I saw that," Hael said absently. "And another ball – there is much dancing in your future, Kol'la. Do you have sturdy shoes? No, sorry. You are not going. Never mind."
"Look," Kol'la's hand slammed down on the remaining stack. "This should not-"
"Another hunt. This one is a small one and it appears that it was extended from Her Highness, Lady Frigga-"
"Save that one," Kol'la grabbed the piece of vellum before smoothing it out again and then slotting it away somewhere in his scroll-top desk carefully. "That one is mine. I will – I will answer that."
"Hm. Of course he will," Thykka nodded. "He is her favourite after all."
"Ah, then you will want this tea party and this ball. Both from Her Highness. Oh, here is the Mage Court feast. And the Commoner's Street Dance. Not particularly special since we are all attending those. Still, here are two closed lectures – Kol'la! You will hear a lecture from Aggra and the All-Father himself on seithrmancy and – well, never mind, it is not like you plan to go. Two more feasts. And- No! Kol'la! Wait!"
Kol'la had had enough. Rising, he was now attempting to reclaim his letters. Spaeyk gave a small squeak of indignation as the young Apprentice Healer was roughly hoisted off his perch and out into the corridor, followed by Thykka, who with the determination more easily found in warriors was still continuing his tally. Ink spattered across grey paving and the piece of scrap vellum he had been writing on smeared. Thykka cursed fluently.
"We are almost done!" Hael was protesting in a higher voice now. "It is obvious you are more popular than Kayra or Vinsaell! Come, Kol'la!"
"I. Do. Not. Care. Hael, please," Kol'la sighed, not so gently removing the letters from the girl's hands, refusing to be caught in some kind of fight with a girl over the Vanaheim nonsense. Pushing Hael out by her shoulders as the girl slowly edged to the door, Kolla wondered what would happen if he seized her and threw her out. Best not, he thought managing to edge Hael out despite the intense dragging of heels. The young Mage-to-be shut the door and locked all three locks which he had personally installed before slumping against the wood and sliding down to sit on the floor with a sigh.
It was getting worse.
[...but then...]
[...it always gets worse...]
[...before it gets better...]
The light strains of lute and fife and violas filtered past the heavy red velvet curtains and out into the mildly cool spring air. Long set, the sun had sunk behind the Skythurs Mountain, lighting up the grand city of Asgard. Few guests of the intimate ball, hosted by Her Highness Lady Frigga had gone out and so the smaller balcony was currently empty – save one still figure.
A slender black silhouette blotted out the stars and the glorious night sky – and it turned as the thick red fabric opened just enough to let a short slim figure past. For a moment, there was on awkward silence as the newcomer – a demure young lady from Vanaheim looked about in the too faint glow of a lamp for the inevitable company of the dark-haired young man. There appeared to be none. Yet.
"Oh – I'm-"
"No – no-"
"I'm – I – I'm sorry-"
"My lady, it is-"
"I did not mean to interr-"
"Not at all. There was no interruption."
Voices clashed and halted and started – and blue eyes met green ones timidly. A smile suddenly broke across the girl's face and laughter burst out. At the sound of her merriment, the young man's tense shoulders tightened a little – but when he saw the honesty in her blue-grey eyes, he relaxed a little.
"I am sorry," she sighed.
"It is no matter."
"I wished to breathe some fresh air," the young girl tipped her head and frowned, obviously trying to remember her name.
He smiled then – engagingly and said, "It is Kol'la. From the Mage's Court. I have been studying there these past... years."
"You did not come from Asgard originally?"
"What gave me away?" Kol'la asked bitterly.
The girl laughed again softly and then said, "Quite a bit, I think. Yet, that is not a bad thing." A pause. "This is when you are supposed to ask for my name."
"Yes," Kol'la turned more fully then, his green eyes sparkling. "I suppose it is. How remiss I have been! Whose company do I have the pleasure of keeping?"
"Vessa of the Lower House of Vaetia from Vanaheim. I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Kol'la." A tipping of the head accompanied a well-executed curtsey.
"Well, then, Lady Vessa of the Lower House of Vaetia, Vanaheim, what has drawn you out for fresh air at this fine hour?" Kol'la peered through the slight opening between the two curtains and noticed that yet another half-hour long dance was underway. "The festivities are yet to be over."
"Oh, you can call me Vessa," she leaned close, her light breath ghost just a little over Kolla's cheek as she too looked within the large ornate ballroom. For a moment, they watched the party continue on within before admitting: "Well, sometimes," she paused and then gave Kol'la a quick sad smile, "people need to... take a step back... to..." Vessa hesitated before shrugging and looking down awkwardly. "... consider things..."
"A man."
"I did not say that!"
"You did, in a manner of speaking," Kol'la grinned. "Which one?"
Her blue eyes flickered over automatically and his gaze followed hers as the young woman's eyes wandered over the dense crowd which stood to the side of the large open dance floor now currently filled with dancers. In the middle of the laughing group, there was a very familiar blonde head bobbing above the others, the long waving hair now nicely styled and washed for the evening setting off the even tan and clear blue eyes. Kol'la's smile twisted just a little and he glanced away and straightened slowly.
"I see."
"See what?"
"It is the Prince. Thor."
"I did not say his name!"
"Let me guess," Kol'la sighed, easing back a little. "This is your first time to visit Asgard – to see the Royal Family."
"Yes..." Vessa blushed and looked down. "So I must look rather... obvious, then."
"Rather."
"I am... sorry." An awkward pause. "I will leave you to... um..." Vessa paused and tipped her head. "What were you doing out here?"
"Getting a breath of fresh air," Kol'la replied with a light laugh.
"So you are avoiding someone too?"
"Oh, no, no." A pause. "Haha. No. There is no one here this evening that would interest me -" Another awkward pause covered by a light cough on his part before Kol'la stumbled on, wondering if his light blush was easily seen. "I am sorry. I did not mean to imply..."
"It is alright. I understand."
There was something in the quality of her tone of voice which caused Kol'la to eye the shy girl closely. Vessa's hair had been plaited in a rather old-fashioned way and her clothing was not very jewelled nor was she wearing the latest fashions. Kol'la had always prided himself on looking well; Vessa, apparently, did not - or could not. And she wants Thor to notice her? There is no way he would notice a dowdy creature such as her. Kol'la shook his head. A pity. He cocked his head in thought. Unless...
"I am usually not interested in gatherings such as these, either," Vessa admitted painfully. "What do you find more interesting... Kol'la?"
"I am currently studying inter-realm travel through the Ways and the Void," Kol'la replied, watching her face closely expectating the usual tell-tale disinterest to creep onto her face. Nothing of the sort happened.
"Inter-realm travel, using magic?"
"Yes."
"That can be rather... dangerous..."
"The elves do it all the time."
"It is their way," Vessa blinked. "It is rare to find other kinds who can stand the rigours of such travel. Particularly through the Void."
"The Void is dangerous," Kol'la repressed a slight shudder, "all the more important to discover safe measures to enable better travel. Not all of us can depend upon the Bifrost."
"You wish to go travelling any time soon?"
"Some day," was the cryptic reply and then Kol'la gave the young girl a quick smile. "But that must hold no interest for you."
"I would not say no interest," Vessa smiled back, turning away from the red velvet curtain. "What Dwarven runes are you using?"
"Runes?" Kol'la asked. "Dwarven runes? Why dwarven runes?"
"Well, yes, after all, dwarves do not rely on the Bifrost solely to travel. My tutor in Realm Runes and Inscriptions told me that dwarven runes can encourage perseverance and may help with extending magicks and strengthen delicate workings. I believe if you look in..."
And the two scholars wandered off into the gardens, arm in arm, underneath the soft glow of Asgard's moons.
[...two minds meet...]
[...but the heart is, above all, a curious thing...]
[...and what the heart wants...]
[...the heart wants...]
Over the next two weeks, in between intense research, Kol'la found the time to go to certain select parties, tea parties, balls, hunts and other small activities. Of course, there was no choice but for him to attend the two lectures by High-Mage Agaeti and Odin All-Father – to hear their discussion on seithrmancy, Vanaheim magic and its importance for integration with Asgard's own particular traditions. At the lecture by High Mage Agaeti, Thor noticed the young girl who sat by Kol'la – her blue eyes animated as she spoke with him, obviously intent on the subject at hand, judging by her gestures at the small vellum before her which held the notes handed out at the door. Thor looked at his own copy and stared at the arcane symbols – the arcane symbols which held no meaning for him.
Not that I care about such strange matters and useless knowledge. Kol'la, of course, will enjoy this speech - and he will, no doubt, chatter about it all day long with Mother afterwards. And Mother will look so proud and declare he is the second son she always wanted, Thor grimaced. I guess in a way, my lack of interest in all things magickal disappoints her. That Kol'la can bring her joy... should also make me feel glad. He is like a brother to me... Would it be such a burden to accept him even closer? I could see Mother taking him under her wing - and Father would not gainsay her... Thor shook his head, pushing his confused thoughts away, looking instead at the girl. Kol'la is another matter and can be dealt with easily enough... On the other hand... He looked at the two again – the dark gold hair bent closely to the hair black as midnight and frowned. Who was she again?
Thor did not remember the lecture thanks to the sight of Kol'la and the mystery girl sitting together – and the following night when Kol'la arrived for tea with the Queen and her maidens, Thor made certain to join (as a surprise) and speak with the maid in question. She was, as he had guessed, from Vanaheim after all – and rather sweetly shy. Ignoring the dagger looks sent his way from Kol'la's direction, Thor bent his charm on Vessa and began to show Kol'la how it was done. It was a familiar rivalry - another kind of arena within which Kol'la and he had many times competed against each other. As Thor began to ensure his conquest, the unsettled thoughts concerning Kol'la settled just a little and Thor began to enjoy himself quite well indeed.
When the two left the women's quarters, an incredibly irate Kol'la dragged Thor aside and the heavier warrior followed willingly as the two stumbled into an empty corridor. Jerking his friend around, Kol'la met Thor's blue eyes evenly.
"I know what you are doing, Thor," Kol'la said.
"What am I doing?"
"You are poaching on another man's property. Again."
"I did not know she was yours!" Thor protested, barely holding back a grin of triumph. "She responded to me so easily and it seemed to me that your relationship was merely that of friends or -"
"Leave. Her. Alone. Auzha."
"Kol'la," Thor pushed the younger man back easily, giving them both a bit of space. "You are overreacting. She has not made her choice."
"You never let them make a choice."
"What are you implying?" Thor asked, voice dangerously soft.
"Nothing. I don't know," Kol'la rubbed his face tiredly. "You know what I am saying, however. Admit it! The girls lose all their sense and you make it so!"
"All who come to me accept freely as I give freely, Kol'la. It is not my fault if you cannot attract any, nor keep any at your side. Your reputation precedes you -"
"What are you saying? You saying that no woman would choose me over you?"
"Well," Thor shrugged meaningfully.
A very tense pause ensued and then Thor folded his arms and cocked his head. If I did not know better, I would think that Kol'la cared about the girl. Impossible... and yet... Perhaps this is something of Mother's influence upon him. Mayhap Kol'la is beginning to change... for the better. Thor recalled his thoughts on the day he had brought Kol'la to Asgard. He had hoped to see his then friend, now almost-brother look to life with hope and joy instead of dread and fear. Although Kol'la still is mysterious in many ways, Thor mused, he has learned so many things and has grown and come to be part of my life. Would I wreck his chances for happiness so easily - and yet, would I allow him to win without a fight? He abhors pity, after all, and would be highly offended if I appeared to give him permission to woo the girl. What other alternative do I have but to forge on forward?
"Listen," Thor finally said, making up his mind. "There are two dances approaching. Let us see who can court the lady and keep her attentions. If, at the end, there is no certain choice on her part, we shall meet on the battlefield."
"Thor, you must be joking," Kol'la said in a deadpan voice. Then, voice filling with dread. "You are not." The young man massaged his eyes, and then lowered his hand over his mouth in contemplation as he considered the matter before dropping them. "I cannot believe you think this is something that holds the solution. That I would even consider it as an option-"
"It is a matter of honour," Thor shrugged. "It is simple. It is the only way. You know it." He turned away and eyed the lean profile of his friend and then as a hard pale face turned his way, lifted his chin in determination and added mischievously, "Whether you wish to play or not, Kol'la, the game is afoot. May the best man win."
-0-0-0-
Watching Thor leave, Kol'la mulled over the prince's words and grimaced. May the best man win, he thought, slumping back against the cold, hard, grey stone wall. But, Thor, the truth is- the truth you can never know –
I am not a man.
Kol'la straightened and considered his options and the best way to avoid brawling in the stable-yard with the Crown Prince in front of their august guests.
I am not a man, but I may still win.
He thought of Vessa. Was she worth it? Was she worth all this trouble? Until then, he had not considered her too seriously – but suddenly... she seemed like a treasure.
[...the heart wants...]
[...and what the heart wants...]
[...the heart wants...]
Was it Thor who had given her value? Thor's attentions? Kol'la did not know. Or was it her curious, lively intelligence and the dichotomy of her heart's desires? Was it merely rivalry after all?
He was going to win this. Of course, he was.
[...is, above all, a curious thing...]
[...the heart is...]
But... will he?
Author's Note re Thor: Thor's having some introspective moments here... This is to deal with a few questions/comments a reviewer pointed out and I thought had great merit. As a result, I'm tweaking a few things here and there concerning Thor... and hope it feels more organic! There are a couple things I'm going to be factoring in with Thor, however...
a) Thor is a social being - and I think that in a society that is mainly comprised of large families (culturally speaking), Thor might have felt the odd one out and wanted a little brother or sister.
b) Loki is not yet his brother... just a very close family friend whom Thor has come to think of as something like a brother (all but legally).
c) Thor kinda gets his own back/deals with his worries subconsciously by putting Loki down/giving him a hard time/teasing him etc
d) Odin is by no means outwardly favouring Loki or showing Loki attention in any obvious way... Odin has chosen Loki - but that does not equate unadulterated affection, so I think Thor (rightly so) does not see Loki as a serious threat or rival for his fathers affection... (although... Loki might feel that way... dun dun dun). Frigga's affections, although appreciated by Thor, are not as necessary b/c he's in that phase where he's too cool for school.
e) Thor kinda... pities Loki which means that he's more giving/forgiving (we see that at the end of the dinner conversation, the off-hand comment that Loki is less privileged which leads to Thor's generosity)
f) other things will happen to ease the transition - which I can't speak of b/c it's spoilery. .
I hope this works for everyone!Let me know what YOU think~!
If you haven't reviewed yet, there's still time to enjoy the side-story! Give me a shout, and I'll send the link to ya!
Thanks a lot!
-KI
Alien Glossary:
'auzha – fucker
Dou'ma – idiot
r'senk'ne – a kind of deer/cow hybrid
n'ch'nka – a kind of cow
chi'iano – a radioactive piece of rock similar to uranium
cho'ai - lover
kol-sava'atha – a titanium-rich ore
Morning-star - a mace.
oma'auzha – mother-effer
oto'oa - big sister
udji'oo – a drug, like opium
Asgardian Glossary:
seithr - magic
seithrmaster - mage, sorceror
ergi - womanly, weak, "gay"
bikkja – bitch