-Ouch.
I try to move, but even the slightest movement and it feels like my wound is tearing open all over again. Still in and out of a hazy world, I haven't fully woken up yet. I do hear vague voices sometimes, but my brain won't even try to make sense of it anymore. So, I lay here, tortured by my own thoughts and wishing I could just get out of this damned bed.
-Is anyone else hurt? Where has Daryl been?
I never fail to pick his husky southern voice apart from the others, but I haven't heard it in a while. Maybe he just doesn't care, and that make my heart hurt instead of my side but then again, I don't want him to see me like this; so weak and helpless. So, I lay here some more and try vainly to find a comfortable position, but failing miserably with every attempt until I finally drift off into another black abyss.
. . . . .
I wake to a stinging in my arm and involuntarily jerk it away.
"Rose?" I hear a small voice ask. "Rose, it's okay. Just some more pain meds." She finishes.
- The pain medication. That's what's keeping you stuck in this daze. I finally realize, and I move my arm away again, this time on purpose.
"No."
I croak out, noticing how dry my mouth was, like I've been eating sand the whole time. Trying now to open my eyes, I'm thankful it's dim in the room and feeling the full brunt of pain coming on now, I greatly question my decision of no more pain killers. No, I have to get out of this eternal, hazy darkness and if that means taking on the pain, then so be it. Cracking my eyes, I take it slow and watch the real world come gradually into focus. I hear a sharp gasp to my left now,
"Rose, Rose, are you okay? How do you feel? I gotta go get deddy."
The voice, surprisingly, rises in pitch as she pelts me with questions. Turning my head in her direction, everything feels so stiff and sore, I feel like the Tinman in the beginning of Wizard of Oz when he's all rusty and can't move. After a few seconds, my eyes adjust and I'm finally able to see Beth's blonde hair, hanging in two neat braids on either side of her face, and her doll-like blue eyes looking back at me with concern and shock. I'm able to give a small, pained smile now,
"I miss anything good?" I say, my voice still cracking from the lack of moisture.
She laughs nervously, still looking at me like I might spontaneously combust at any second.
"I'm so glad you're back." Beth says, her voice cracking from emotion and I do wish I could hug her right now, let her know that I really am OK.
"Hey, don't worry about me. I'm fine." I say, really wishing I had a huge glass of ice-cold water in my hand. "Is everyone else.. Are they okay?" The question comes out quickly, and I stumble over the words, worrying too much about all the possible answers I could be given.
"Besides just bein' worried sick about you, we're all pullin' through." She replies woefully, but relief floods through my body and I swear it feels like a thousand pounds has been lifted from me. If any of them were hurt, I have no idea what I would do, I'd take a walker on for any one of them if it means keeping them all safe.
"Hey.." I hear the deep voice come from the door and I turn my head a little too quickly, causing my breath to catch from the pain.
-Pain killer is still an option...
No.
It's Rick's lovely blue eyes I meet next. It's the first time I've seen them so tired and weary since I looked into them so many months ago as he and the others stood in my living room; I'm sure wondering if I was crazy after witnessing mine and Daryl's fight.
"Rick." I say, a small smile comes to my lips.
"How are you feelin'?" He asks, giving me that same worried look as Beth did.
I wanted to throw my hands up and ask them why they keep looking at me in that way, but I don't really know how bad I've been. -Judging from this pain, you've been pretty terrible.
"I've been better, but I can't complain." I reply.
Truth is, I want to complain, a lot. I want to know why those walkers were all the way up here on the mountain. I want to get out of this bed and go clear the woods right now. Thinking about going to sleep again without knowing we're safe makes my whole body cringe with fear. I do want to throw a fit, yell a little bit, maybe even cry but no way am I letting them see what happen has really gotten to me.
-You're a Montgomery. I remind myself. You don't let one little incident ruin you, no, you get up and make sure nothing like that ever comes close to happening again.
Lost in train after train of thought, I barely notice the group forming around me. I look up, seeing Carol holding Judith, Maggie and Glenn side by side, of course, Herschel hobbling over to Beth's side, and then there's Carl standing by his father. Seeing him unharmed, alive and well, made the storm of anxiety inside me calm just a little. Yet, that relief is short-lived as I look from face to face, just missing one more.
-Where's Daryl? I ask inwardly, hoping the frown I feel coming to my face isn't noticed by anyone else.
"We didn't see you in action, but from what we heard, you were completely badass." That's Glenn, and I try to laugh along with the others but I'm cut short by the pain ripping through my side and chest. Instead, I clear my throat,
"Well that shouldn't come as much of a surprise." I say back, looking, I'm sure, far from badass at the moment. But my comment gets everyone laughing, and I feel the tension lessen just a bit in the room.
After a little while, and a few questions about the farm later, they all begin giving me approximations of a hug, telling me how happy they are and I return with a thank you to each, knowing how completely indebted to them for my life. Herschel brings me a low dose of pain-killer and, finally, a cold glass if water. I sip it at first, relishing the wonderful coolness of it, but before I know it, I've gulped it down and am asking for another. When I've had my fill and my side is radiating only a dull, annoying pain, I manage to wiggle onto my opposite side, feeling a little more comfortable but none the less frustrated.