Chapter 37 – Peace

Alice's POV

I stood outside, as Bella and Jake spoke inside Charlie's kitchen.

My mind wandered back to the night before.

I had felt at peace, with Bella in my arms. I watched her sleeping form as waves of calm ran throughout my entire being. Not once during our love making had I been tempted to bite Bella and bleed her dry. Oh, I'd struggled initially to gain control of my emotions as they helter skeltered around my body. Bella's scent, laced with lust and desire, had hit me with a force I had never experienced before, and it had sent my need into a frenzy as it battled to gain control of my own desire. I had tasted her, and kissed her, and caressed every ounce of flesh I could, and she had returned the favour with that smile that sent my emotions into overdrive.

I was in love with Bella Swan.

And she loved me.

And I had cried.

I couldn't recall the last time I had cried. Perhaps, when I was human… but that memory, if indeed it did exist, was locked somewhere deep inside my conscious, waiting patiently to be set free. No, I couldn't recall crying as a human… nor did I recall crying as a vampire because… well, vampires didn't cry. Yet I had shed a single, solitary tear that had run down across my cheek, slowing as it was captured by Bella's waiting finger tip.

And she had tasted it – my mind was so focused on the tear, I hadn't had time to stop Bella from tasting it, now I was only too aware that the tear could have been venom… and if Bella had tasted that single drop… what would have happened?

I shuddered slightly. Sensing the movement, Bella lent her cheek into the crook of my neck and snuggled closer.

I was so very thankful that my tear seemed to be the real thing, although I was still confused. I needed to speak to Carlisle, and I needed to find out if they had found the stranger, the vampire that was causing so much damage and destruction.

But not yet.

I was too content, here, with Bella in my arms. I could hear her steady breathing and even heartbeat as it pumped blood around her body.

Blood.

Slowly I smiled; no longer did fear and panic ensue; I loved Bella, and I would never hurt her.

She sighed in her sleep and murmured "Alice…"

Even in sleep she was thinking about me. I closed my eyes, even though I knew sleep would never come.

Bella.

Always on my mind, I didn't need to dream about her because she was foremost in my thoughts ever minute of every day since I had met her, and as I kissed the top of her head, savouring the scent of her hair, I realised she had been in my thoughts before I had even met her. That first vision, of someone new… since that moment, I had been thinking about one person and one person only…

Bella.

Time continued to slowly pass, as I savoured this moment. I was holding the one I loved, but how long before the moment passed? Soon it would be day break, and I would have to let her go. More nights would arrive, and I hoped more than I thought possible that they would be spent like this with Bella. But what about after? When the nights, weeks, months, years passed… what then?

My eyes shot open as I heard Bella cry out in her sleep… "Don't ever leave me…"

I held her tightly, soothing words escaping my lips as I stroked her arm that was now thrown across my chest.

"I won't…." I whispered back.

Bella seemingly satisfied with my response, or the scene that was playing out in her dream smiled against my neck as she sighed and continued to sleep soundly.

I would never leave her, but what if she left me? I would never change. I would always be me, Alice Cullen. The sands of time had ceased to drain for me, but for Bella – for Bella they continued to leisurely fall…

Bella would age.

Bella would change.

And I would lose her.

The thought was impossible to bear as images ran through my head – Bella maturing, meeting new people, perhaps even a potential husband… Bella having children, growing old, watching her own children give birth…

I shook my head. These weren't visions of the future, they were merely my imagination acting up to the fear I felt, the fear of losing Bella.

I felt a slight movement on my cheek, and realised it was another tear drop, roaming down across my cheekbone.

I needed to speak to Carlisle, I needed answers.

Slowly I extracted myself from Bella's arm and leg. I watched as she reached out for me. Quickly I moved a pillow under her searching arm. Gently Bella moved into the pillow and sighed with content.

I didn't want to leave her, but I had so many questions I needed answering.

Quickly I threw on some cloths and left the room, closing the door gently behind me. It didn't take me long to reach the kitchen, where Esme stood facing the large open full length windows that took up one entire side of the room.

"Esme" I whispered, as Esme turned and smiled.

"Bella is asleep?" she asked, walking towards me and taking both my hands in hers.

"Yes" I answered simply, as I squeezed both of Esme's hands in my own.

"Alice… is everything okay?" she asked, a look of concern slashing across her face before it was quickly replaced with her usual smile.

"I need to speak to Carlisle… is he back yet?"

Esme pulled me towards the lounge area and together we both sat.

"Not yet, but he is close by – I can sense him"

I smiled then. Esme and Carlisle had a bond that really was impenetrable; both could sense the other even if miles of land separated them.

"You can talk to me, if you like" she continued.

I nodded. "Esme.. I'm… confused"

Esme moved in closer to me, and rubbed my shoulder with her soothing hand.

"Bella?" she asked.

"No… yes… I…"

I stumbled across each word.

"You love her, Alice".

I nodded, "How did you know?" I asked, as Esme smiled again.

"Let's call it mother's intuition" she answered.

I nodded again. Esme may not have been my birth mother, but she was the only mother I had ever known and loved.

"She feels the same way" she continued, and I knew it wasn't a question.

"Yes" I answered simply.

Esme continued to rub my shoulder, "You're finding it hard, these feelings you have are new to you Alice…don't worry about them, enjoy them"

I sighed then. "She's human, Esme. One day she will leave me… and what then? What do I do then? She makes me feel… so many emotions… tonight… Esme, tonight she made me so happy, and I cried a tear… and then when I thought about losing her, I felt so sad… I cried a tear again… what is happening to me?"

Esme stopped her gentle stroke and looked directly at me.

"Alice, nobody knows what the future holds for you and Bella. I wish I could tell you what will happen. I can only advise this; life, as they say, is for living. If Bella makes you happy, you live every moment you can with her until life takes a new direction, for you or for her. Vampires can experience emotion Alice, although I have only heard of a vampire shedding a tear once before".

I looked up at Esme immediately, "Who?" I asked.

Esme smiled; "One day, a few years ago, when I was inside watching you and your brothers and sister outside playing baseball with Carlisle… you all looked so happy, and I felt so content and blessed to have you all in my life – the family I always wanted when I was a human… the family I treasure more than anything else in this world Alice. I watched you all, and I cried a single tear. I have never told anybody until now".

I lent forward and embraced Esme. Slowly she rocked me in her arms. "Everything will be okay, my love. But you need to speak to Bella about your fear"

I nodded into Esme's strong arms.

We sat like that, for a while. Esme combing my hair with her fingers, rocking me gently.

"I need to go back upstairs" I responded moments later.

Esme smiled, "Go back to her, Alice. And don't worry. All will be well"

I kissed Esme on the cheek and then bounded back upstairs to be with the one I loved.

And there I laid, with Bella in my arms until the sun rose and shone into my room.

And there I stood for a while, watching its arcane powers as it set itself higher and higher into the sky. How I had loathed the sun before and how my mind had altered so quickly when I realised Bella wasn't upset or feared by what it did to me.

I could sense her awakening before she opened her eyes, yet I remained still, as the sun continued to bath my skin. And then I turned, because my eyes craved Bella.

She looked… beautiful. And it took every ounce of control I had to stop myself from throwing myself on top of her, claiming her lips with my own as my fingers did my bidding…

I needed to escape; I didn't want to, but I knew Carlisle wanted to speak to everyone about what had happened the evening before. So I had left her, albeit begrudgingly.

And when Bella had arrived, flushed as ever after Emmet's comments, we sat and listened to Carlisle. And I knew Bella wanted to see Jake, and I was relieved and happy she wanted me to go with her. I didn't like the thought of leaving her alone with him, especially after that kiss… yet when he had arrived at her home; I knew she wouldn't be able to get any sense from him with me there.

So I left her, again. But I was going to stay close, so close that I could still hear every word that had passed between Bella and Jake.

And then he tried it again… I could hear his words… "You really do like to play with fire don't you"…

And without a further thought, I found myself back in the kitchen with them both, arm linked through Bella's.

I had never been possessive before.

But I was starting to now.

So here I was, with Bella and Jake as he turned to leave the house ""Remember, Alice can help you with that homework"…

He wanted me to tell Bella what he was, and as I stood opposite Bella, I started to wonder how I could tell her…

Tell her that her best friend was a shape-shifter.

Tell her that her best friend was a wolf.