Part 2

Brittany's POV

I never looked back. I just kept running. This was the last place I wanted to be all of a sudden.

The hurt I was feeling, now, was indescribable. How could Santana and Quinn do this to me? They were supposed to be my friends.

It doesn't matter that they were drunk. The two of them in bed together was not something I ever wanted to think about. It was making my stomach churn.

I know I told Santana to find a "real" girlfriend, but I definitely didn't mean for it to be someone we both knew.

Did she want to date Quinn? Have the two of them always shared something? These were questions I didn't even want to fathom the answers to.

I stopped running and sat down on one of the stairs. My breathing was erratic. I needed to calm down.

Why was I so upset anyways? It's not like Santana is my girlfriend. She broke up with me.

Plus, I'm with Sam now and I'm happy.

I am happy, right?

Shit. Why was everything so confusing?

I sat there for a while pondering everything that had lead me to this point in my life.

I thought about Santana and our break-up. I thought about Sam. I even thought about the BIG secret I was keeping from everyone.

I shook my head to rid myself of all thoughts. Nothing made any sense.

Just then, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see who the intruder was.

"Brittany…" I heard being whispered.

I would never grow tired of hearing her voice.

She sat down beside me drawing in a shaky breath.

"A few months ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I thought that if I set you free your pain would just go away. I figured you wouldn't have to sit around waiting for me. I thought it would make things easier and better for you."

She took in another deep breath.

"After I left the choir room, I cried for days. I didn't want to lose you. You have always been the one thing I've kept close to my heart."

"When I found out you were dating Sam, it literally felt like someone shot me in the heart. I couldn't breathe, much like you're probably feeling right now."

I turned to look her in the eyes. "Just about," I said.

She nodded at me and continued. "I came back to McKinley with every intention of getting you back. I didn't care if I had to fight for you. I wasn't threatened by your relationship with Sam because I expected you to just fall back into my arms. However, I realized that Sam was right. I let you go, Brittany. I let you go and you moved on."

I felt my lips curve into a frown. I had wanted her to fight for me. I did. Yet, at the same time, I knew I couldn't hold her back from her dreams. I also knew that if I had taken her back, she would have never gone to New York.

"I shouldn't be allowed to feel like this, Brittany, but I do. I can't stand watching anyone else be with you. You were supposed to be mine, forever."

With that, tears started falling from her eyes. I knew this was hard for her. Santana hates sharing her feelings. So, when she does it makes me feel incredibly special.

"I know you're really upset right now. Yet, I should be able to sit here and tell you that you aren't allowed to feel sad or angry because that's how you made me feel."

She stared right at me, straight into my eyes. "It hurts, doesn't it, Britt?"

I hadn't even realized tears had started falling from my own eyes. I didn't trust my voice, so, instead, I nodded "yes".

We sat there together in silence before my words finally found me.

"What hurts the most is knowing you didn't wait for me. I'm so selfish to think you would. I shouldn't be allowed to think that. Christ, I'm with someone. I just never thought you'd actually give up hope so easily."

"What hope, Brittany? You pretty much told me to go out and find myself a girlfriend. You can't tell me one thing and anticipate something else."

"I know that!" I said, raising the tone of my voice.

"I need you to tell me what you're feeling, Brittany."

My lips began to tremble. I was trying so hard not to cry again. "I feel empty."

"Why?"

"I feel empty without you…"

"What about Sam?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Sam is great. He's taken good care of me. He makes me laugh when I'm feeling down. He takes my mind off things…"

"Okay…"

"But…I don't have a connection with him. I mean I like him, but I could never love him. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does," she responded.

"He was just a distraction."

"So, then why are you still with him?"

I sighed. "I don't know…"

"Brittany, please, be honest with me."

I stood from my spot on the stairs, "Because…"

"Because why, Brittany?"

"Jesus, Santana…because I didn't want to hold you back. I didn't want you to stay here and wait for me and miss out on all the opportunities you could be making for yourself."

It was quiet again. I'm pretty sure we really could hear a pin drop.

"Sit down," she demanded.

I couldn't even look at her. I was too ashamed.

"Please, Britt."

That's all she had to do to get me to give in. I loved hearing my nickname roll off of her tongue.

I reclaimed my seat next to her and was surprised when she grabbed my hand. She laced our fingers together.

"I think it's safe to say we both have a lot of regrets."

"Yeah," I said as I watched her thumb slowly massage my hand.

I bit down hard on my lip. There was so much I wanted to say to her. It was becoming difficult to keep it all bottled up inside of me.

"We have a lot we need to talk about, San…"

"I know."