Chapter 32
Daryl's POV
"Where're ya goin'?" Carl asks, chasing after me.
With all the fussing and panic consuming the dining room's tolerable space, I decide it's best if I turned tail and got the hell outta dodge. I still feel the anger boiling inside over Rose, and now all this debate over what to do about one girl has got me riled up even more.
"Goin' to the barn." I say, not looking back to him, "But," cutting him off before he can even ask like I know he will, "you need to stay here."
His next words sound truly pained, "Yeah, I figured so." He says, and the anger in his voice makes me feel guilty.
-There ain't no place for him there right now. You need to get to the bottom of this. And fix things with Rose. But, I shake my head, Why is that my job? I ask internally, if she wants to act like a kid, so be it, I can give her some of her own medicine.
I push the screen door out of my way, and the cool breeze blowing feels good on my face. Everything seems serene until I catch movement from the corner of my eye, jerking my head in the direction, my thoughts come to life.
"Asskicker." I say gently, smoothing her ruffled brown hair before nodding, "Rose.", and as I'm heading down the stairs I hear a snort from behind me, only imagining the death glare she's giving me this very moment, but not daring to turn and witness it for myself.
I spit and pick up a blade of willow grass to chew on as I make my way to the big old barn. What I plan to ask this Simone girl, well I haven't thought about it yet, just gonna let it ride I guess. All I do know is that I'm gonna get to the bottom of this one way or another. I know how much strain it's already put on the others and they've known for all of 20 minutes, but what gets me the most is how Rose is reacting. I remember very well the night that bastard got the jump on me, and I remember what she did to save my life and for the well-being of the strangers that she had just taken on her farm. Maybe I didn't take that into consideration when I jumped on her about making such a quick decision about this girl.
-Ahh yeah, just go pick her some flowers and write a sweet little apology poem for 'er. I hear Merle's critical voice in the back of my mind, and do my best to push him away. I don't have time for his bull too.
Finally making it to the looming wooden structure, I unlatch the lock carefully and quietly as I can. It glides open, and the sweet smell of straw takes over as I walk in. Leaving the door open just a crack to let in a little more light, I stalk through the barn silently, still contemplating what I'm going to say. Raven gives a loud snort, seeming upset by this new visitor in her house, and I hush her easily, gliding my hand over her nose. As I come up on the no longer vacant stall, I see Simone sitting in the same position as when we left her. Once she hears me though, her head snaps up and those icy blue eyes meet with mine.
"Oh goody, the redneck." She says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Look, I don't know why you're here, and I frankly don't care if it has anything else to do with besides letting me go." The look she gives me now, can almost rival Rose's signature "go-to-hell" glare, but I keep my eyes steady.
"What's gotcha in such a hurry?" I ask, "We got food, clean water, shelter..someone on their own, these days, wouldn't wanna turn that down."
She finally looks away, "Yeah only I don't want, or need, your or anyone else's help. I was doing just fine on my own until I found my way up this damned mountain." She replies, I can hear the weariness in her voice now.
"Why didn't ya cut yourself outta the snare?" I ask now, realizing I missed that big part of her story.
"What?" She looks back to me with anger and confusion.
"You said you were huntin' up here, what kinda hunter don't have a knife on 'em?" I give her a hard glare, and I can sense the hesitation in her eyes and voice.
-She's about to lie to you.
Her throat clears, and she begins "The kind of hunter that left her knife stuck in the brain of the rotting, ungodly creature that tried to take a bite."
I have to give her a little credit, she keeps up a solid face, no fidgeting or darting eyes, but I still know. It's the same as watching the animal you're about to take down, how it moves when it knows it's done for, fight or flight. We all got that instinct in us.
"Alright." I say back, looking past her at a sliver of sun coming through the warped planks of wood, "Everyone is talkin' about what to do with ya, you'll be here for the night though so you best get comfortable." I start to turn, but stop when the word "Wait.." slips through her lips. I look back,
"Who is the women that was here earlier?" She asks, more timid than I thought she could be.
Confusion sweeps through me by her question, Simone hasn't asked about any of the rest of us, why would she want to know about Rose?
"Uhh, name's Rose. This is her fam-, her farm." I say, and I feel the doubt start pouring through my veins.
Simone's eyes get wide for hardly a second before she replaces it with a neutral-like expression,
"She doesn't have family?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.
Now, I definitely know something is up, but I want to know more what she's not telling us.
"Yeah, parents an' a brother. Haven't seen or heard from 'em since it started." I say, doubting that Rose would be very happy I'm giving this information to a stranger. "What's it matter to you?"
The original anger finds its way to her face again and she gives me a severe look, "I can't ask a question? I figure some answers are the least y'all can give me for all this." She gestures at the ties with her head.
"Not about her ya can't." I say, willing my legs to walk away, still knowing something wasn't right about that girl or this situation at all. -Things just don't add up a bit.
"Oh, so the big, tough redneck has a soft side for the girl?" Simone patronizes me from behind, I don't say anything though, there's nothing to be said with so much to think about.
As soon as I pull the barn door to open enough to let me through, I collide with a silhouetted mass that seems to be all but running into the barn. I hear a high-pitched grunt and the shadow stumbles backwards into the sun. "What are you doin'?" Rose asks, and she's mad, really mad. If it were possible, you would've seen the smoke billowing from her ear, like in those old Nickelodeon cartoons, from how furious her expression is.
"I was talkin' to her. What's it matter?" I say, giving her a little fire myself. Now she grabs my arm, pulling me around the side of the barn and toward the old garage where her Jeep stays.
. . . .
After slamming the door, closing us off from the world, and giving me no witnesses, she turns quickly to face me. I can see those green eyes burning, and feel the anger radiating from her small frame, so my hands find their way into the pockets of my jeans and I brace myself for impact.
"What's it matter?!" She says, trying not to yell but not doing the best job, "It matters to me! You can't just go in there, alone, and talk to her. You should've taken someone with you."
I give a sigh, shaking my head and stepping towards her, "You thank someone smaller'n you and tied up is gonna get the jump on me?" I give a snort, "I can handle myself better'n that lil' girl." I say, moving my eyes to stare at the big black Jeep parked to left of her.
"That's not the point." She barks back to me, "you didn't have anything to say at the table, why did you just all of sudden decide to up and go pay her a visit?" Her voice is still louder than it should be, and she's begun pacing in the small area.
"I asked 'er some questions. I wanna get to the bottom if this, jus' like you an' everyone else." I reply, trying to keep my expression and tone blank.
She stops pacing only to look at me in astonishment, "So why didn't you at least take me? You don't think I don't want some answers about why this women was so close to MY farm? What did you ask and what did she say?" I step back from her, shoving my hands through my hair and letting out a "Hmff." as I propped myself on the hood of the vehicle.
"I asked why she wanted ta leave so bad if she was really alone, someone with no group ain't gonna turn down food and a shower," I begin, and surprisingly Rose stays quiet, listening intently, "then I remembered, she said she was out there huntin', but she don't have knife on 'er to cut herself out of the snare? Didn't seem right and she lied to me about that."
Rose holds a hand up, signaling a time out, "Hang on, how do you know she was lyin'?" She asks, looking at me curiously.
"She hesitated. Her voice and eyes wadn't matching up with what she was sayin'." I say, crossing my arms over my chest now, "told me she left her knife in a walker that attacked 'er." I finish, watching Rose's eyes flicker as her brain picks the information apart and after a few seconds, her lightbulb finally come to life,
"If it were only one walker, why wouldn't she take the knife back?" She asks rhetorically, but I look to her with a little sarcasm,
"Thought you were the smart one." I say, letting a tiny smirk come to my lips. She waves my comment, choosing to pace again, not out of anger but to help the gears in her mind keep turning this time.
"So what is she hiding.." She says, neither a question or a statement to me, but to herself.
"Beats me. But it's somethin', we should keep her here." I say, answering her musings.
She nods her head slowly, "Yeah.. Maybe she'll talk when she gets to know us. More comfortable." She says, and I notice her wringing her hands so I walk over as she turns her back, still pacing, and take her arm, pulling her close.
"I'm sorry." I barely manage to force the thought into words, but my heart makes that decision for me. I sweep the stray hairs that have fallen around her face behind her ears, and keep my hand placed on the nape of her slender neck. I feel the little chills spread over her skin, and she gives the faintest shiver,
"I'm sorry, too." She says, looking up to meet my eyes, "I shouldn't have snapped like that, earlier or right now."
I shake my head, "Nah, I should've thought more about how much all that hurts ya." I say, feeling the guilt rising like bile in my throat, "I know it ain't easy, but I know you're stronger'n this."
She lets her head fall against my chest and I hope she doesn't notice how fast my heart is racing right now. After a long sigh, she shakes her head left and right slowly, "Daryl.." She says my name, leaving my whole body wanting to hear more, "What are we doing?" The question comes out in almost a whisper, and I really have no idea how to answer her because I hadn't even answered that same question to myself.
Looking up to me and holding my gaze in hers, "I mean, we have these.. Moments, these moments when were alone and away from the world, and I lose myself. Sometimes I think you do too, but when we're around the others, I feel you pushing me away. Why?"
I feel the world stop spinning, my heart beats a little slower, and I feel a sick regret settle over me. Everything she is saying is so true. I live for these moments now, but around others, I just can't make myself look weak in front of them, like Rose would stop me from doing what I have to do to survive. Yet, in reality, I would give my life to save hers. I want to say that, to look her straight in the eye and tell her I loved her, tell her how much she means to me, but I can't. Wether it be from habit or the instinct of self-preservation, I just can't will the words from my mouth. So, instead, I kiss her forehead, then lean down, igniting the spark that always jolts through me when I feel her lips move with mine, fitting like puzzle pieces. This makes the second kiss today, a record for us, but unlike this morning's sweet and gentle encounter, this one quickly escalates into her arms around my neck, pulling me closer, and my fingers tangling themselves in her hair, wanting to be so much closer.
Yet, as always, she pulls away. Putting one hand on my chest, and looking down at the floor she breathes in deeply and sighs loudly. I try hard not to follow suit, and end up doing it anyway,
"We should-" I begin to say, but she cuts me off,
"Don't say it." She says to me curtly, looking up, and I see a new burning in her eyes but it's got nothing to do with anger, "This.." She gestures around with her hand, "can't happen anymore. Not until we figure out what this," now she's points at me and then to herself, "is." I hear a sadness in those words, and I feel like I could just beat the no good brain right out of my head.
"Rose.." I say, hearing the desperation in my own voice, "You gotta know there's somethin' here." I just don't know what else to say so I turn my head, not being able to look at her anymore.
-Just say it! It's the only way you'll keep 'er.
My heart says to me, and the words are sitting right here, right on my tongue, and they want to come out, but I don't let them. I can't let them.
I feel her small hand on my face, and she's tugging me to look at her, "I know." Two words. That's all she says, two words, but behind them are hundreds of words, hundreds of feelings, threatening to break down every wall I've put up in my not-so apple pie life. My walls protect me, keep me safe, keep me strong even when all I want is to show the tiniest weakness. Rose knows that weakness is her, how could she not?
In the middle of my musing, I'm cut off as I feel her arms slide around neck and how her body fits so well with mine as she hugs me tightly. Instinct takes over and my arms wrap around torso, picking her up from the floor.
"It's ok." She says, and I feel her warm breath slide down my neck. I release her and she steadies herself once back on solid ground. "Maybe one day, you can drop the bad boy redneck act long enough to do this away from the shadows." A very devious smile crosses her lips as she turns away, walking toward to the door, and I'm just standing here; Maybe for the first time in my life, left speechless by someone.
Just standing here, my brain going a hundred miles per hour trying to process Rose, what Rick's going to do about the others debating, and, of course, Simone. Her questions and behavior about Rose, there's nothing right about it. I try to shake it all, walking out into the late afternoon sun. I look the left, seeing Rose's figure disappear around the big house, and then to the right, sits the barn.
"Ahh to hell with it." I grumble under my breath, spitting one more time, I head towards the house.
- Hell, maybe they got it figured out by now. I think to myself, but realize that with all of us, that's more than a long shot kind of hope.
Hey y'all! Just checking in and giving a huge thanks to my followers and reviews! Thanks to every one of them, I've found just the inspiration I need to take the story where I want it to go AND where I reallyyy hope you guys like! Just please remember to leave reviews & tell me what you're thinking!
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