Disclaimer: Please stop calling here. The owner of Phil of the Future is not at this number.
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Aloha, Mrs. Diffy. This is the Principal Eugene Tillywack from H. G. Wells. I'm sorry to have missed you at home so late this evening, but I have a huge stack of emails that I'm sifting through after my fact-finding mission in Tahiti. There's an inordinate number from Vice-Principal Hackett concerning your children, and, for some reason, yourselves. Really! You wouldn't believe the how much of my mailbox is just taken up by emails with the name "DIFFY" in the title -- is there a reason why your daughter had her own personal office on campus? From gist of this, it seems that your family has made numerous contributions to this school: participation in the Distinguished Speakers series, fund raising for the Science Department's mascot's treatment, winning the Principal-For-A-Day competition and fast-walking competition, in addition to helping broadcast the daily morning update reports -- I just don't understand what this issue is that Vice-Principal Hackett has with the Diffy family. Oh, I see -- there are notes about detentions for both your children, mostly your daughter, but nothing serious enough to account for all these emails. Is there sometime next week when we could meet, maybe I could come over to your house? This won't be a formal visit -- I'll be the one in the loud Tahitian shirt. Please give me a call at H. G. Wells -- no more emails, please. After reading all these notes, I'm sure you have the number. Tiny bubbles! I miss the luaus already.
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