Triage
I find myself reflecting on the fact that personality traits affect us differently in different situations. When I first met Ivo, his organization skills left me a little breathless – truly he was the most efficient the strongestbeing I had ever encountered. That he could manage his research, teaching and social obligations and still have time left to play made me envious. I was lucky to get my assignments turned in on time. I was awed his ability to accomplish so much in such a short time with so little apparent effort.
By the time we were in Alaska that proficiency was to my mind the single feature that damned him irretrievably and made me determined to get away from him. He was too orderly, too thorough, too perfect. I didn't care how the fucking safety vests were to be returned to the rack when we got off the raft. Did it honestly matter? Did he really believe such things had significance in our lives? I loathed him.
When the moment came, when I reached my breaking point, I called Isabel but it was Ivo I really wanted. I knew that in that helpless state I needed someone to take charge. Like triage on the battlefield, Ivo would step in and assume command of the situation - issue orders and designate what needed to be done. Ivo would take care of me, a nurse in charge of a patient. I knew I could count on him, on his readiness and capability. And how very much I craved his controlling ways then!