Hey! I'm sorry it's been so long - I found this chapter really difficult to write and I had school work to do! Notes and questions at the bottom xx
"Hey, girls," Sirius says as they approach. James and Sirius are lounging on the grassy banks of the Potter garden, sunglasses and messy hair completing the look of perfected dishevelment.
"Hey, you," Hermione says, throwing herself down beside him with a smile. "Have you moved at all since we left?"
"Yes," Sirius says indignantly. "James went to get us some drinks and I took a piss in that bush over there."
"You're revolting," Hermione says, but she's laughing.
"How was the Ministry?" James says. "Are we going to see your beautiful face in the papers?"
"Almost certainly," Lily says, grinning as she sits down beside her boyfriend. "She did really well."
"What time is it?" Sirius asks.
"Like 3pm?" Hermione guesses, glancing at her watch. "Yeah about that."
"Merlin, you were gone hours," Sirius says. "How long was the interview?"
"It took about 3 hours," Hermione says, rolling her eyes. "There were so many people there and they all seemed to want to ask something."
"Some of the questions were just the most ridiculous things though," Lily says. "Like 'Miss Granger, our sources indicate that you are involved with House Black's black sheep, Sirius – is this true and where is he today?' I mean honestly, how that relates to Voldemort's downfall I do not know."
"Black's black sheep," Sirius repeats, grinning. "I'm not going to lie, I absolutely love it."
"I thought you would," Hermione laughs.
"Lily, how was your interview?" James asks.
"Yeah, good, I think," Lily says. "It took about an hour and then I went and watched Hermione's press stuff."
"Poor girl," Hermione teases. "Having to listen to me chat shit for hours."
"You were great," Lily says. "Sirius, what time is the party starting?"
"Not until like 8?" Sirius says, putting a hand on Hermione's thigh. "It's not like a big thing, I think only a few people are coming."
"Still, any excuse to have a boogie, right Mi?" James teases, hugging Lily tightly.
"You know me so well," Hermione laughs. "Oh, by the way, Remus is coming over in like half an hour."
"Nope," Sirius says, looking over her shoulder. "There he is."
"Oh hey, Remus," Hermione says, grinning up at the tired-looking teen.
"I picked this up," Remus says, throwing the Evening Prophet at her head and settling down on the grass beside Lily. "You came off well."
Hermione glances down at the front page and rolls her eyes; Sirius grabs it off her lap and reads aloud, "The girl who killed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named: Introducing Hermione Granger."
"Wow," James says, snatching the paper and scanning the article. "They love you, Mi."
"They're idiots," she says, lying back and staring up at the sky.
"Miss Granger," James quotes, "A sparky girl of 18, joined Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for her seventh year. Although little is known about her life previously, she has quickly made a name for herself. Best friend of Fleamont Potter's son James and girlfriend to the young Black heir, Sirius, she is well known as a favourite of Professor Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, and Harold Minchum, Minister for Magic."
"Wow," she says drily. "That's pretty accurate – rare for the Prophet." James smiles, reluctantly amused, but continues to read.
"Granger, who was by all accounts a pretty and popular student, made waves only days ago as it was announced she had killed You-Know-Who, ending his reign of terror," he continues. "Since then, she has been very quiet, preferring to remain with friends and celebrate. She is currently staying with the Potter family and…"
He trails off, reading under his breath until he reaches another point of interest. "Ah," he says. "Miss Granger was seen at the Hogwarts graduation ceremony only the day before her now famous duel with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. An unprecedented talent, the girl was named Transfiguration Today's Most Promising Newcomer, along with an array of other prizes."
"No mention of you," Lily says, laughing as Hermione rolls her eyes again.
"This is the worst article I've ever read," she says. "Seriously, what piece of shit-?"
"Rita Skeeter," James says. "Can I continue?"
"If you must," Hermione says. "Honestly though, that explains a lot."
"I've never heard of her," Sirius says. "How did she make it to the front page?"
"She's a trash writer," Hermione says. "I despise her."
"Yeah, she's not a huge fan of yours either," James smirks. "Seems to like you more than Sirius though."
"What did I do?" Sirius yelps.
"Although supported by Potter's girlfriend, Lily Evans, Hogwarts professors McGonagall and Dumbledore and school friend Castor Avery, Granger's boyfriend Sirius Black was nowhere to be seen," James reads aloud. "Certain reports suggest that Black has been jealous since Granger defeated You-Know-Who; indeed, the young couple have not been seen together since the night of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's downfall."
"See," Hermione says, rolling her eyes yet again. "Trash."
"I don't know, Mi," Sirius teases. "I am pretty jealous that you had to put yourself in harm's way and risk your life for everyone."
"Yeah," Hermione says, feigning a nod of regret. "I thought you might be."
"Hermione, I need to go and get ready for the party," Lily says. "Are you coming?"
"Good party," Remus says, clapping James on the back. "We're going to head up to bed."
"Okay, Moony," James says. "Sleep well."
"Come on, Cass," Remus says, taking his girlfriend by the hand and guiding her upstairs.
"Night, guys," Avery says as he heads down the hall and out the front door. "Tell Hermione I'll see her tomorrow."
"Sure," Sirius says, glancing around to look for her. "Where is she anyway?"
"I don't know, brother," James says, tripping up the stairs. "She vanished after we finished playing that stupid card game."
"Huh," Sirius says. "I'll go look for her." He wanders upstairs, checking the study and a bunch of spare bedrooms before he sticks his head into the library.
"There you are," he says, walking into the room. Hermione is curled up on a sofa, with her back to him. She is flipping through a large book, but she slams it shut as he enters. "What are you looking at?" he asks, walking over to sit beside her. As her face comes into view, however, he stops in his tracks.
She is crying. Hard. Her face is dripping wet with her tears and snot, her eyes are red and puffy, and her make-up is running. She is still dressed in her party outfit, a short, tight, floral-patterned dress, but she has put some pyjama bottoms on underneath it and she is wearing one of James' Quidditch jerseys.
"What's the matter?" he asks, kneeling down in front of her.
"I miss my friends," she sobs, burying her face in her hands. "I miss my family. I miss my life."
"Oh, Hermione," he says softly. "I thought you were happy here."
"I am, I am," she says, still weeping. "But I lost everything, Sirius, and I'm never getting it back. I've been so busy working to save you and concentrating on that…I never really thought about everything I'd left behind."
"You'll be okay," he says, climbing up onto the sofa and pulling her onto his lap. "You want to tell me about them?"
"I don't…I don't know," she says, resting her head on his chest.
"Okay," he says soothingly, taking the photo album out of her hands and setting it on her lap. "Why don't we look through it?" He opens the album and turns to the first page, a photo of Harry, James and Lily. "Oh my God," he coos. "That is an adorable picture."
"Yes," she laughs tearfully. "Look at James and Lily, they look lovely."
"James looks old," Sirius laughs.
"Sirius, he's 21," she says, whacking him.
"Tell me about Harry," Sirius says. "What was he like?"
"He's a really good guy," Hermione says tearfully. "God, he was my best friend and he died. He…he died."
"But thanks to you, he'll live," Sirius says softly. "You saved him from a childhood of abuse at Lily's sister's. He'll get to grow up with proper parents, the best parents ever. You did that."
"I know, I just…I miss him," she says. "He was so clever. I mean, sometimes you wouldn't know it to speak to him, he certainly wasn't 'book smart', but he had this way of understanding people and thinking things through. It was amazing. And he was hilarious. Like so sarcastic, he could cut you to pieces with his words. And he almost exclusively reserved it for Snape and Draco – you would have laughed so hard. And he was kind. It would have been so easy for his fame to go to his head and for him to be a total jackass about it. Or, to be honest, for him to have been angry all the time. So much crap happened to him but he was still so nice, so inclusive, it was inspiring. And he was brave. Everything I know about bravery and self-sacrifice, I learned it from him. He was always so willing to protect other people, I just…he wasn't perfect but he was my best friend and I loved him. He was like the brother I never had."
"I think I would have liked him," Sirius says.
"You did," Hermione says. "You were very important to him."
"And I will be again," Sirius murmurs, kissing her hair gently. "Can I look at some of the others?" Hermione nods, still crying, and he flips to the next page, beaming at the pictures in front of him. The first is of Harry, Ron and Hermione, taken just before the end of their first year at Hogwarts.
"Oh, you were adorable," he gushes as the three wave up at them, all laughing.
"Shut up," she says, blushing. "Look at my teeth."
"Cute," he says, grinning. "Who's this one then?"
"Ron," she says. "Ron Weasley."
"Oh, Molly and Arthur's kid?" he asks. "When do they have him?"
"Still a couple of years," she says. "He's an '80 baby, like Harry."
"Wow, how many do they have?" he asks.
"7, in total?" she says thoughtfully. "Molly just had Fred and George, right?"
"Yeah," Sirius says, smiling. "April 1st, the perfect prankster birthday."
"And they will be pranksters," she says, growing tearful again. "God, I loved them. They were so much cleverer than anyone gave them credit for, but all they wanted to do was make people laugh. And they could too, they were so funny. Honestly, some of the stuff they came up with, you and Lupin were jealous you hadn't thought of it."
"I can't wait to see it," he says, grinning. "So, two more after them?"
"Yes," she says. "Ron first, then Ginny."
"I've heard the name Ginny?" he says.
"Yes, she's the one Harry falls in love with," she says. "Ginny was my best friend, the person I could tell anything. I loved the boys and I would have done anything for them, but it was really nice to have another girl to talk to. She was so cool too, like a real badass. All the boys loved her, she was so pretty, but the girls loved her too because she really stood up for them. Like she wasn't going to take any shit from anyone – probably because she grew up with six brothers. I just loved her. I hope she survived."
"And Ron?" he asks.
"Oh Ron," she says, dissolving into a fresh wave of tears. "I loved Ron so much. He was so annoying so much of the time, but he was one of my favourite people in the world. He was really funny and he had such a huge heart. He never did any work but he was so clever when he tried. He was just a good person, one of the very few I knew. God, I miss him. I miss them all."
"That's okay," he says soothingly. "I think that's only natural, babe. But you have done the most amazing thing. You've saved all of them from a life of…fear and danger. They'll grow up happy and safe. And so will you."
"God, that's so fucked up," she laughs. "But I know you're right. I just…sometimes it's difficult to have lost so much."
"I can't imagine," he says. "But you are not alone, Hermione. You have me and James and Lily and everyone else. We all love you and we want to spend the rest of our lives with you. Especially me."
"That sounds almost like a proposal, Sirius Black," she says drily, pushing her hair back off her face.
"Yeah," he says, clearing his throat. "What if it is?"
She chokes slightly and looks up at him, shocked. "Excuse me?" she says. "Are you seriously doing this?"
"Maybe," he says. "Should I?"
After a moment, she shakes her head. "No," she says. "I look ugly. I'm wearing pyjamas and a dress and my make-up is everywhere. And I'm upset and I don't want you to do this because of that. When you do it, I want you to do it because we're both so happy that we never want to be anything else. I want to marry you, Sirius, but not like this."
"Okay," he says, leaning in and kissing her gently.
"Good afternoon," Lily says, sitting down on the sofa beside Hermione. "Did you have a good night last night?"
"Yeah, fine," Hermione says. "I think I just need to take some time, make my peace with everything that's happened." She turns to Lily and looks her straight in the eye. "And that includes you, Lily."
"Me?" Lily says. "Hermione, I know we went through a lot and I said some really dumb shit, but I thought we were past that?"
"No," Hermione says tightly. "We are not past that. Because you said all those things and I forgave you, but my friendship with James has never been the same. And I miss him. I miss my brother."
"Hermione…" Lily trails off, uncomfortable. "Hermione, everybody loves you. I just don't understand why you have to pick my boyfriend."
"Are you serious?" Hermione says, going pale. "Everybody loves the idea of me, Lily. The hero who defeated the Dark Lord. Do you know how hard that is? To have all these people falling over me but not knowing one ounce about who I am?"
"Oh, poor Hermione," Lily says, rolling her eyes. "She's too popular."
"Excuse me?" Hermione says. "Lily, everybody I ever loved has died. All my friends, my family is dead and gone and I am alone. And I thought I'd be okay because I have Sirius and Remus and James and now I don't even have him."
For a long moment, neither of them speaks. Then Lily sighs heavily and says, "Hermione, I'm sorry. I am…eternally grateful for everything you have done to save our lives. But James is my boyfriend and I…I am not comfortable with you two being as close as you were."
"Then you…you and I have nothing left to say to each other, Lily," Hermione says. "I thought you are one of my best friends, but I cannot…you don't trust me so we can't…" Then she gets to her feet and walks out of the room, heading upstairs to pack.
"Hermione?" James says, walking into her bedroom. "Are you okay, sweetheart? Sirius said you had a bit of a wobble yesterday."
"James, I love you," Hermione says honestly. "You know that, right?"
"Of course I do," he says, watching as she piles clothes into a bag. "What's brought this on?"
"I need to clear my head," Hermione says. "I need to find…some sort of peace with everything I've lost. I need to get away."
"Why?" James asks. "Why can't you do it here?"
Hermione looks up at him, tears brimming in her eyes, and says, "I don't think that Lily would like that very much."
"Did you two have another fight?" James asks angrily.
"We're not fighting!" Hermione shouts. "It's not a fight – nobody's done anything wrong. I just…I miss you. You are one of my best friends, James, and I can't be myself around you because I'm so worried about what she's going to think!"
"I miss you too," James says, lowering his voice as his eyes fill with tears. "Hermione, I love you. I adore you. But I love Lily too. I'm so caught in the middle here and I don't know what to do here."
"Do something!" Hermione shouts tearfully. "Do something so that I'm not alone anymore."
"You're not alone," James says, stepping forwards. "Hermione, you're not alone."
"I've always been alone!" she shouts. "Ever since I got here, I've been alone. I've been fighting alone and crying alone and risking everything alone! Because everything I ever loved is gone and I am alone."
"You're wrong," James says, grabbing her hands and forcing her to look at him. "Hermione, you don't have to fight or cry or be alone anymore. I'm here."
"No," she shouts. "You're not. You're not here because I can't even touch my best friend in case his girlfriend gets jealous."
"Screw it," he says. "Screw her. You need me and I am here. Come here." He grabs her by the waist and pulls her into a hug; they lose their balance and fall onto the bed. Laughing, he rolls so they are on their sides, staring at each other. "Now, what do you need?"
"I need…I don't know what to do next, James," she says quietly. "Like…where do I go from here? I've done my job and now…you all go on with your lives. But I don't have a life."
"Of course you do," he says quietly. "You have Sirius and you can get a job and have a family. It won't be the same, of course it won't. And I'm sorry that you had to sacrifice everything you loved for me and my family. But they're your family too now, you know that. My parents would do anything for you, I would do anything for you. Please, Hermione, just…just let's try. Let's try together."
For a moment, she doesn't speak. And then she nods. "Yes," she says softly. "We'll try. I'm going to try and live, James, but I'm not…I think I've pretended to be very strong for a very long time. And I just can't do it anymore."
"Okay," he says. "Well then don't. Let us be strong now. James and Remus and Avery and everyone else do it for you."
"And you and me?" she asks softly. "Where are we?"
"Where we've always been," he says. "You're my sister, Hermione. I'm going to hold onto you and never let you go."
With that, he grabs ahold of her waist and pulls so her body is pressed against his. He hugs her so tight that she can scarcely breathe and holds her for so long that she can barely remember to be without him.
A few hours later, Euphemia and Lily go looking for James and Hermione. They find them in her bedroom, wrapped round each other and fast asleep.
"He loves her very much," Euphemia whispers to Lily. "If you try and separate them, you will lose him."
"Yes," Lily says. "I can see that."
Okay, so I really don't know how I feel about this chapter. I don't hate Lily, but whenever I write her, she seems to come out very cruel? And I have strong feelings about James and Hermione, I think they're lovely together so I'm very conflicted about where to take this story. Basically I would like your input - do you want me to keep writing? Do you want an epilogue or more chapters or nothing? Or do you have any ideas about where you would like it to go? Just let me know because I have about a billion ideas and none of them seem quite right.
Thanks guys