Sorry for the wait - note at the bottom! Enjoy! x

19

"Are you sure I can't change your mind?" Harold asks.

"I'm not saying no," Hermione says, smiling warmly. "I'm just saying not right now. I need to get away, see the world…be a teenager for once. I'll be back, and I will really want a job when I get here. So, don't forget me."

"I don't think anyone's going to forget you, Miss Granger," Harold says, his eyes shining. "You're the saviour of the wizarding world. The whole world, really."

"I wouldn't go that far," she says, getting to her feet. "Now, I better be going. Sirius and I are leaving this evening."

"Oh, Mr Black is going with you?" Harold says as he gets up to show her out.

"Yes, of course," Hermione replies. "Any excuse to slack off for another year. Plus, it's going to be a really great experience, he would never turn it down."

"Well I hope you have a good time," Harold says. "Come see me when you get back."

"I will," Hermione says, leaning in and brushing her lips against his cheek. "Goodbye, Minister."

"Goodbye, Hermione," he says, and then she's gone.

"Are you sure you've got everything?" James asks as Hermione zips up Sirius's backpack.

"Honestly, James, you're worse than your mother sometimes," Hermione says fondly. "Yes, we've got everything. You watched me pack, remember?"

"I know," James says, wringing his hands anxiously. "I know, I'm just…what if you've forgotten something?"

"Then we'll buy it," she laughs, stepping forwards and taking his face in her hands. "Please calm down, love. We brought down Lord Voldemort – I think we can manage a few weeks abroad."

"About that," he says. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know," she says honestly. "As long as we want to be. But it will be okay. I'll write all the time, I swear."

"Okay," he says, hoisting Sirius' bag onto his shoulders to carry for her. "Right, come on, let's get all this stuff downstairs."

"Wait," she says. "Can we say goodbye here?"

"Of course we can," he says, setting the bag back down. He grabs her by the waist and pulls her into a hug; the force of it lifts her off the ground. She wraps her legs round him and rests her head on his shoulder. "Now you listen to me, Hermione Granger," he whispers. "You be safe. You be sensible, okay? No more risking your life for other people. Just live well, have fun and come home to me. Because I love you and I'm going to miss you every second."

"I'm going to miss you too," Hermione says, suddenly tearful. "I love you, James, and I wouldn't…I wouldn't have survived any of this without you."

"Well now you don't have to," he laughs, kissing her cheek gently. "Now go and have fun."

"Okay," she says. "And don't you get married without me."

"Are you kidding?" he says, setting her down so he can look her in the eye. "I would never."

"Good," she says. "Now come on."

The two of them carry the bags downstairs, to where Sirius, Lily, Fleamont, Euphemia and all their friends are waiting. Hermione is already a little tearful and she sniffs loudly as she sets her bag down and turns to Remus and Peter.

"Have fun, gorgeous girl," Remus murmurs, hugging her tightly. "Be safe."

"I'll miss you both," she says quietly as she hugs Peter. "But I'll write to you when I can."

"Good," Peter says. "Look after Padfoot, won't you?"

"Of course I will," Hermione laughs. She moves onto Avery and Bella who are leaning against a wall, arms folded.

"Narcissa and Severus send their apologies," Bella says quietly. "They couldn't make it but they said to tell you they're going to miss you."

"Oh, tell them that I love them," she says, leaning in and hugging Bella. "Get out of the Rodolphus situation, Bella, seriously. Just be happy."

"Okay," she says, and then Hermione turns to Avery.

"I will miss you," he says quietly. "Very much."

"Calm down, babe," she teases. "Don't get over-excited."

"I hate you," he says, and she laughs, leaning up and hugging him tightly.

"No, you don't," she whispers. "I'll see you really soon."

She works her way down the line, saying goodbye to Cass, Marlene and Alice, then Regulus and finally Lily. Then she turns around to see James and Sirius hugging, and she smiles fondly.

"Look after my boy," Euphemia says, drawing Hermione's attention back to her. "Keep each other safe."

"I will," Hermione says. "Thank you for…for everything." She looks to Fleamont and then back to Euphemia. "You are both the kindest people I know and I am so grateful for everything…" She breaks off, suddenly tearful, and Fleamont puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Don't thank us," he says. "Just live a good life."

"We'll see you soon," Hermione says. "I love you both."

"As do I," Sirius says, running over and hugging them both tightly. "Bye, Mum. Bye, Dad."

"Have fun," their parents say and then they are gone.

"Lily?" Hermione says quietly, raising the mirror to eye level.

"Oh Hermione," Lily says wanly. "Hi. How are you?"

"Fine," Hermione says. "Congratulations on your engagement, it's great news."

"Oh, thank you," Lily says. "Is Sirius there?"

"He's just in the bathroom," Hermione says. "Is everything okay?"

"No," Lily says. "I need to speak to both of you though."

"Okay," Hermione says, getting up and banging on the bathroom door. "Sirius, come out. Lily needs to speak to you."

"Lily?" Sirius says, coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped round his waist. "What's up sweetheart?"

"Oh Sirius," Lily says, suddenly tearful. "Listen, I'm really sorry, both of you, but Fleamont and Euphemia are dead."

"What?" Sirius says, catching the mirror as it falls out of Hermione's hand. "What do you mean?"

"They died," she says, tears starting to drip down her cheeks. "There's been a Dragon Pox epidemic and they…they didn't make it."

"Oh no," Hermione says tearfully, watching as Sirius stumbles to the bed. "Lily, we'll come home this evening, okay?"

"Yes, okay," Lily says. "I'll see you later."

Lily is gone, and Sirius and Hermione are alone in their hotel room. "How did you…how could this happen?" Sirius says. "You couldn't have warned us?"

"What?" Hermione breathes, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Sirius, I didn't know. Harry never met his parents or grandparents, nobody ever told us what happened to Fleamont and Euphemia. I knew they were dead, but I just assumed it was the Death Eaters, I didn't…I swear I didn't know."

For a moment, neither of them speaks. And then Sirius looks up at her, eyes bloodshot and brimming with tears. "I'm sorry," he says. "It's not your fault, of course it's not. I'm just…I didn't know when we said goodbye that we were never going to see them again. They were the only parents that ever loved me, Hermione, and now…"

"I know," Hermione says, kneeling down in front of him. "I know. I'm devastated that we said goodbye like that, I'm devastated we'll never see them again and I'm devastated that they're gone. But I think we can both take some comfort from the fact that the last time we spoke to them, we got to tell them how much they meant to us. They knew how much we loved them."

"But we were supposed to tell them everything we'd done," Sirius says sadly. "The curse-breaking and the stupid meditation shit that you loved so much and all the amazing magic…and now they'll never know."

"No, they won't, and that's really sad," Hermione says. "But we'll tell James and Lily and all our friends. And somewhere, wherever they are, Fleamont and Euphemia will hear it too." Sirius stares at her for a moment, almost gone behind the eyes. Then, in a second, he breaks, burying his face in Hermione's shoulder and sobbing. "I know," she murmurs tearfully. "I know, Sirius, I'm so sorry."

For a few minutes, she comforts him as he cries, holding him together until he finds the strength to do it himself. Then, slowly he lifts his head and his eyes are wide, like he's seen a ghost. "James," he murmurs, and then they're running.

"Hermione," Lily says, as she flings open the front door. "Sirius, thank Merlin you're back."

"Where is he?" Sirius asks, already halfway up the stairs.

"In his room," Lily says. "But, Sirius, he won't see anyone!"

"He'll see me," Sirius says, vanishing from view. Behind him, Hermione lugs the bags into the house and throws them down in the hall. Immediately, she seizes Lily by the shoulders and pulls her into a hug.

"Thank you," she murmurs. "For calling us. I can't imagine what you've been going through, all by yourself."

"It's not been so bad," Lily says. "Remus and Cass are here too." At the mention of their names, the couple come out into the hall; Hermione hurries across the room and hugs them both tearfully. They cling to her for a long moment, glad to see their friend again, and then let go so Hermione can look at Lily again.

"I wanted to say sorry," Lily says. "I've been so childish. And it all seems so silly now, with everything that's happened. And James…he needs you in his life. You were the one he asked for, you and Sirius. You're his sister and I understand that now."

"Lily," Hermione says tearfully. "Thank you." She hurries up the stairs and into James's room. James is lying on the bed, facing the wall; Sirius is crouched in front of him, trying to get him to speak.

"Hermione, I'm scared," Sirius says.

"Don't be," Hermione says. She pulls her shirt over her head, drops her trousers and climbs into bed beside James. In the first movement he's made since either of them entered, he shifts so that Hermione can curve her body to fit his, and he wraps his arm around her waist. "I love you," she whispers; he presses a kiss to her shoulder in a silent response. Slowly, Sirius strips down to his boxers and goes round the other side, wrapping his arms around James. Again, James moves to accommodate Sirius, squeezes his hand gratefully and then goes still again.

"How long will he be like this?" Sirius asks softly.

"As long as he needs," Hermione says, closing her eyes and savouring the feeling of them all together again.

Two days later, James finally snaps out of his stupor. "I want to move," he says, and immediately Hermione shifts, rolling over so she can look him in the eye.

"Okay," she says. "What would you like to do?"

"I'm going to sit up," he says, and she nods, kneeling up so she can help him if needs be. Slowly, he lifts himself to an upright position and he looks around the room. "Where's Sirius?"

"He went to the toilet," Hermione says. "And I think to get some food."

"When did you get back?" he asks.

"Only about 10 minutes before we came to you," she says. "Lily called us."

"I didn't mean to ruin your trip," he says.

"Don't be silly," she says. "We were on our way home anyway."

"Did you have a good time?" he asks.

"Yes," she says softly. "But we don't have to talk about that now."

"Can we?" he asks. "Tell me everything."

"James," Hermione begins, nervous now.

"Just talk to me," he begs. "Please."

"Okay," she says, beginning to weave the tale of their trip. All the curse breaking in Egypt, the magical creatures in America and the meditation in Asia. Then, as she begins to run out of steam, she meets his eyes and sees that his eyes are watering. "Oh James," she says gently.

"My parents are both dead," he says, matter-of-factly.

"Yes," she says quietly. "They are. I'm so sorry."

"I don't blame you," he says. "I know you would have saved them if you could."

"Of course," she says. "I loved them too, James."

"I know," he says, and then he pauses. "I miss them," he says eventually.

"I know," she says tearfully. "I do too."

"Will it ever go away?" he asks. "Does it go away with your parents? With your friends?"

"No," she says honestly. "I carry it with me every second. I loved them all so much that the loss has left a hole in my heart. But you will adapt to the pain, I know it."

"I don't know how to live in a world where my parents are not," he says.

"I know," she says. "And it won't be easy, not ever. But for now, all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Because they would never forgive us if we gave up now."

"Oh, Hermione," James says, leaning forwards and resting his head on her shoulder as he bursts into tears.

"How is he?" Lily asks as Hermione trots down the stairs.

"As well as can be expected I think," she says softly. "The funeral was never going to be easy."

"I'm glad you're here, Hermione," Lily says. "I don't know if I would have been able to do this without you."

"It's fine," she says. "I'd do anything for James, you know that."

"I do," Lily says. "And I don't…I don't hate you for it anymore."

"You hated me?" Hermione asks.

"For a long time," Lily says, sitting down on the bottom step. "I mean, can you blame me? You literally fell out of the sky and you were this…superhero. You saved everyone's lives and you made everyone happy and worse, you made everyone I've ever loved fall completely in love with you. You were fucking perfect – 10 times as beautiful as me and just as smart and funny and…you were me, but better and so I wasn't necessary anymore. And that was really shit, for a long time. But then I realised that there is a place in this world for both of us. Because even though you're James's best friend, I'm the love of his life and if we can't be friends, then he can't be happy. And I want nothing more than for James to be happy."

"Well, same," Hermione says, sitting down beside her. "That's all I've ever wanted. For all of you to be happy. And I'm no superhero, Lily. I've always been smart and I'm incredibly competitive so I wanted to be the best, like I was at home. But I'm really not that beautiful and I've grown used to being funny, because I spent so much time with boys before but…I am nowhere near as good a person as you are, and I mean that. I convinced myself, and pretty much everyone, that when I got here, it was okay. You know, I'd lost everything and everyone that I'd ever loved, but it was going to be fine because I was going to be the one to save them. And sure I wouldn't get to…to live with them, or even see them again but-"

She breaks off now, choking back sobs, and then continues breathlessly, "But it would be okay because I'd know that they were going to live long and happy lives. And after a while I thought that I might even be okay, because I had Sirius and James and everyone and even though I was terrified, I was…starting to feel happiness again. And then, my plan started to fall into place and I…I wanted it so badly. And it wasn't just to protect everyone, no matter what I told myself. I wanted you all safe, yes, but I wanted him to suffer as well. Voldemort, I mean. It wasn't fair that I had felt such pain at such a young age, that so many people had died at his hand and that I was alone. I wanted to feel that same pain and I wanted to be the one to do it. So I made him like me. I'm clever and fairly pretty and I am good with people, better than I used to be. And I knew him, I'd spent…almost a year studying him, trying to get into his mind. I knew what I needed to be to make him…maybe not fall for me, but certainly trust me."

She pauses again, brushing the tears off her face. "I was worried, when I first met him," she confesses. "He wasn't as…far gone as he is back home. He was still…there was still some semblance of a man there. And he was funny and charismatic and…good at what he did. And I shouldn't have been surprised because he was always good with people, even when he was a kid. And of course that makes sense because he had all those followers and he must have talked them round, at least at the beginning. But anyway, I…I was surprised. But my plan still worked. Maybe even better, because I could flirt. He was a good-looking guy and exceedingly arrogant, so he knew it. I think he quite liked the idea of a Dark Queen, or whatever. But I made him trust me and that just made it better when I told him the truth."

"So, I'm not a good person, Lily," she says, sighing heavily. "I'm…all dark and twisted inside. I wanted him to suffer, I wanted to cause him pain. I wanted revenge, and maybe that's all he wanted too. At first anyway. Maybe this is how it starts and I become…the villain of our story. That's what I worry about, that I'll lose so much of myself that I become like him. Because I've killed and I've tortured and I've…well I've loved and I've lost and I've cried. Maybe that's the difference, eh? Because I did it for love, whether it was the love of the people I've lost or the love I didn't want to lose? And he never could."

She shakes her head as if coming up for air, and says, "So, maybe you feel like you aren't necessary, and I'm sorry because that was never my intention. But I need you, Lily. I need you just as much as everybody else, because without you telling me when I'm going too far, I…I might never stop."

"Hermione," Lily says, putting her arm around the brunette. "Listen. You are not the villain of this story. You're the fucking warrior queen who swings in to save the day. And this bit, now…this isn't the tragic backstory, or the beginning of a great evil. This is the happily ever after. And sometimes, we have to slay a few dragons to get there, which you've done your fair share of, but we're here now and you are…you are a good person. You have a huge heart and…I don't know, I guess even good people feel pain and anger and sadness. But that doesn't mean they're not good, right?"

"I guess," Hermione says, leaning her head on the redhead's shoulder. "I don't think we can get through this without each other, Lily."

"No, I think you're right about that," Lily laughs. "Who else is going to stop the boys from blowing up the house?"

Hi everyone! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Thank you very much for everyone who reviewed - it was really helpful in getting some energy back. There were basically two categories of reviews and I've gone for one, while trying to hopefully appease the others. So i wanted to thank jlove34 and Karatekid-Ninja for inspiring this chapter - your ideas were very helpful! I wanted to resolve the Hermione-Lily-James situation without writing Lily out completely, because I think Hermione would really struggle in a world where Harry is never born - all the good she's done would be... undone, i guess? And that would suck for me and for her. So that's the main reason for my decision. I also tried to address some criticism in this chapter - I really never intended to make Hermione perfect, but I can see how it's come across that way so here's me trying to fix it a little?

On the other hand, there were a lot of you who wanted James and Hermione to get together. Honestly, before writing this story, I never imagined them together, but now I can really see it so...I've started writing a James/Hermione/Sirius story. I haven't got very far and I'm not sure if it's going to be worth publishing at all, but if the audience is there, then I will.

Thank you very much for your kind words, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I'm trying to write around uni work so bear with me, but thanks again

xxx