Summary: The war between Jotunheim and Asgard draws to a close, but thanks to a horrible twist of Fate (or perhaps not), the nameless runt of Laufey-King is not discovered by Odin and so begins a remarkable journey of life that should not have been. Jotun!Loki AU. Set pre-/during-/after Thor/Avengers Assemble. MCU-verse only.
Warnings: ANGST! Loki-whump! Language, adult situations, violence, child abuse, dub-con, sexual assault (also of a minor), substance abuse, one abortion scene (sort of), slavery, sex trade (maybe), some mild original character/Loki M/M pairings.
Comments: This is not a slash fic. Sorry. It's Loki-centric, although I definitely show the rest of the Avengers and etc. Please review! Constructive criticism welcome.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers. Marvel owns it. I do not get paid for this piece of work. Sadly, but understandably. LOL.
ACK~ Here it is. (is dead) (runs off to drool over Dmitry from Project Runway Season 10)
Thanks to acidburned, InsolentKatt, wbss21, ClaMiAl, Chiharu-angel, IvySnowe, zippy zany, cecld16 and Soul Soldier.
Reply to Soul Soldier: Hi there! Sorry for the confusion. Bu hao yisi is another way to say, 'I'm sorry!' XD To be frank, between teaching, tutoring, preparing to go home, writing and everything else, I don't feel at all put together - but I'm so glad that it's not affecting my writing too much and thank you so much for the encouragement! Let me know if anything starts slipping because I really want to produce a finished product here! I appreciate your kind words! Good luck studying Mandarin!
Distortions In Time
[Bitter Desolation, Incandescent Harmony]
Chapter 53
Listening To The Past III
[...this is the tale...]
[...the forgotten ones now remembered...]
Once upon a time, when the Realms were young as a babe and Time had not yet been counted – before hardships inflicted the Cosmos That Was, Jotunheim was a paradise in which creatures, spawned out of the inner fiery depths and still running waters, lived in relative peace.
...relative peace...
...peace is so fragile...
...so fragile...
...no one knows the time or day, but what is certain – and, since the Mal'a'Hlad, forgotten – is that the Jotunn were a people as diverse as the beasts and the swimming creatures and the flying things already making their home in the Realm.
...out of the snows they came...
...thus they were born...
...to the snows they return...
...the snows of the For-Eldra...
...great and small...
Great and small. Yes, my child, Jotunn grew tall as the sky, and thus gained great might and hardiness. A darker, grimmer blue they wore on their skin and their frames were stout and muscled. Exceptional warriors and diligent in their labours of farming and building, these Jotunn continued to grow in great numbers and, in so doing, placed their mark on Jotunheim even to this day.
...yet...
...and yet...
...there were others...
Yet, there were others. Those whom we do not speak of. Those whose names were all but erased. Those whom even Time has seemed to have forgotten.
...but It never forgets...
...not really...
...not as long as we live...
...and remember...
...always remember...
...were smaller Jotunn, known oft times as the Light Kindred thanks to the gentler blue of their skin., their smaller statures, and slighter frames. Despite their size however, these Frost Kin were not to be underestimated, bearing their arched horns, greater than any Frost Giant, proudly. For although many died young and most were considered to be physically weaker compared to their darker, giant cousins, the Light Kindred were gifted in other ways by Nature, being empowered with the might of Heimsrsal herself.
It was they who raised the cities of Innagard, Tower of the Cold Sun, and Utangard, Citadel of the Pale Moon. It was they who birthed Meerauk out of the air. And it was they who first began to war.
...this is the cause...
...the burden of those gifted...
...to see the temptation of What Could Be...
...and not to grasp so hastily...
...and in the grasping...
...they lost it all...
In the end, the Light Kindred became known as the Lesser Kin and then, the Cursed. For imbalance has been the chief enemy within of those given great power – and the call of the Unseen, of the Dark, has driven many to madness. Either they were reduced to witless, gibbering creatures, feral beyond reason, or they would fall asleep – eyes wide open and unseeing, never to rise again. Others, maintaining a semblance of reason, took upon themselves the strategic raising of defences against the threat of the vengeful Dark Elves and the imperialistic tendencies of the Asgardian race who multiplied greatly and, in droves, foraged abroad for much needed resources or defended other Realms in the name of peace.
Utangard rose as powerful citadel and within its heart was placed the Kero Fornvetr. Knowledge of the natural world was sought out by these, the Lesser Kin, and in trade, they dealt with other Realms, seeking out new technological processes and inventions.
...thus Jotunheim prospered...
...and for a time...
...there was peace...
Until two, born from the ancient snows, came to full power...
[...this is the truth...]
[...which is now forgotten...]
[...should never be...]
"Two."
"Yes," Miot'vithr paused in his narration to answer Loki's quiet echo. "Twins."
"I don't remember..." Loki frowned as he searched his memories for any mention of twins and found none. "I thought Jotunn couldn't have – didn't have-"
"Indeed..." Miot'vithr shifted. "Well, rather, say it is possible, yet not permitted."
"Not permitted," Loki whispered harshly, fingers clutching at his wolf's cloak.
"Yes. As you are also – you should not have existed and yet, here you are." Miot'vithr's gaze did not move from the flames. Within his eyes, Loki fancied he saw twin flames flickering, imbued, as was everything else, with the fire of magick. "Two great traditions in Jotunheim were born out of fear – born out of hate, my faetha's faetha told me." He paused and then added as if reciting a piece he had learned by rote at school. "That no creature may bear to term a Second, or having borne, may allow a Second, such an abomination, breathe beyond an hour's time. This is the warning. That no creature may bear to term a Lesser Kind, or having borne, allow such the Lesser Kind, such an abomination, breath beyond an hour's time. This is the warning."
"No twins. No runts." Loki summed it up in four bitterly spoken words.
"Yes. Long ago, as I said, the Jotunn lived peaceably enough together – great and small – and all those in between. Although like is usually attracted to like, blood was mixed between the Kindreds at some point in time and the lines of clans intermingled to create new stronger families. Out of one such mixed clan came a pair of twins, so named Loka and Loki."
"Loka and Loki."
"Yes. For honour of their clan, for the love of Jotunheim, they worked here within Meerauk, the city in which they had been born, and extended its boundaries, brought out its glow and lit Meerauk from within with the fires of its magick. Bound together as they were within the spirit of Heimsrsal herself, the two extended their abilities to bring glory to our dark realm. Travelling to unexplored wastelands, Loka and Loki raised the twin cities of Innagard and Utangard," Miot'vithr smiled as if seeing the memory. He chanted then: "Innagard, Towers of the Cold Sun, and Utangard, Citadel of the Pale Moon, reflections for all time of the limitless power and the terrible glory and the stark beauty of Jotunheim. Innagard, the child of Loka, and Utangard, the child of Loki – these rose up on either side of the great valley, the name of which is lost forever. It is said that within the valley a lake lay and a great river – but those no longer exist. There is only the Void now. There is only the Void. The Void and the Eybjarg."
"What happened?" Loki whispered huskily, voice heavy with dread. He had a feeling he knew what was coming.
"Loki and Loka were the only children of a powerful clan which was making itself felt within the fabric of Jotunn society. Their uncle, a powerful Jotun of the Dark Kindred variety, and his family had much ambition and drew in his younger siblings into a series of political maneuverings which led to the first ever serious conflict within Jotunheim. Or so they say. For the first time, the holmganga began and the Jotunn began to battle for leadership – even between clans."
"Holmganga began then? So long ago?"
"So long ago. Before the Purge," Miot'vithr nodded. "Before everything. You might say that it started everything, in a sense. Or perhaps it began even before then. Perhaps it began with the Darkness, perhaps it began with whatever evil lies within this universe – what whispers in the night and feeds fear and hate and greed and untamed ambition." Miot'vithr then gave Loki a look. "At any rate, as you may guess, any clan with Lesser Kindred were the hardest with which to contend, for the Lesser Kindred, despite their size, were able to wield magick in terrible, yet great ways. Creativity, innovation, study and observation made the most intelligent and hardy of the Lesser Kindred into fearsome warriors – weapons to be wielded by those who knew best how to strategize."
"So they were drawn into the conflict..."
"In a way. They were born for conflict – that is what the Jotunn now say – the Greater Kind, looking back, fear the madness which often inflicts itself upon those of great power. Ambition, greed and pride, these speak more strongly, tradition says, to those of the Lesser Kind."
"Hmph... and history is always written by the victors."
"That, young one, is all too true," mused Miot'vithr. "Nevertheless, gentle Loka and clever Loki found themselves offered the opportunity to gather Jotunheim together and lead it into an era of unity and peace. Their uncle promised them positions of power – the chance to rule the Twin Cities and prosper the land on their own terms – should they aid him in uniting the land under a single king."
"And they agreed?"
"Yes."
"And paid for it, too, I should imagine."
"Well now," Miot'vithr chuckled amused. "Perhaps it is hard to believe, but not everything is shrouded in darkness and gloom. Loka and Loki were favourites of the people. Of the Realm, my faetha's faetha would say. The Elves of Alfheim, the Dwarves of Niflheim and Svartalfheim and even Asgard paid respect to them and their abilities, for the twins were well-travelled and had often come to the aid of others in times of need. Since the beginning, the Dark Elves had plotted to reclaim what was theirs and no doubt scheme to this very day. Loki, I believe, was the one who met with the Mages of Asgard and the Seers of Alfheim and discovered a way to foil Mal'Kithor's plot-"
"Malekith?"
"Ah... I know not Malekith, perhaps Dark Elf of whom you speak is Mal'Kithor's descendant – but, at any rate, the Dark Elves' plot to use the convergence in order to bring about the destruction of the universe was foiled and Asgard prevailed and Jotunheim, with their delegation, including Loki and Loka, proved themselves worthy scholars and allies during such dark times. Perhaps in Asgard and Alfheim you have heard those names before – or variations thereof – in memory of a more peaceful era between the Realms. Loki and Loka became names of power, genius and beauty. Thus they were known as the Twins of Jotunheim and gained a name for themselves, so when the time came for their Uncle, the first self-styled King of Jotunheim, Storrathr-King, to take the throne, Loki and Loka stood on either side of the throne and the people of Jotunheim felt at ease."
"Not for long," Loki muttered
"You are a dark one," Miot'vithr said amused. "Sadly, this time you are right. For a time, there was peace and prosperity. Of a sort. Many clans were unused to the new authoritative hand of the King and holmganga became a common enough occurrence between the Jotunn as they vied for positions within the new Court. Some even challenged the King. Many of the lesser clans and farmers and traders and craftsmen found it difficult to carry on in such a state of affairs, so when Storrathr-King fell in combat, his unnatural sleep worried the Court and threatened to bring increased strife. His two sons were too young to take the throne and, of course, the people turned to the Twins in hopes of bringing some kind of stability to the Realm."
"It didn't end well."
"No, I am afraid it did not."
"A throne, after all, traditionally only holds one," Loki said sharply, thinking of Thor and Helblindi and his own half-wished for dreams now long dead.
"Ah, well, that was only part of the problem," Miot'vithr shook his head. "It was clear from the beginning that Loki would take the throne officially. He was older, tougher and more able to deal with the rigours of kingship."
"But...?"
"But Loka disliked how quickly Loki took charge. Perhaps it was the fact that the younger twin was at that time carrying child and one is always a little more sensitive during those seasons – or perhaps after a lifetime of standing in Loki's shadow, Loka wished to prove his worth – or perhaps it was the realization that the paradigm of monarchy would not fit Jotunheim in the long run – or perhaps the Void whispered new fears into Loka – or perhaps Loka foresaw some terrible doom... We will never know. Faetha's faetha told me that the truth behind the matter has been obscured for eternity. Only the For-Eldra know. And the Twins, of course," Miot'vithr added. "But they took their secrets with them to the grave."
"They fought."
"Yes. Dauthr'ganga it was called from that day forward. They fought."
A silence. A weighty silence.
"They fought to their deaths. To the death of Innagard first – and at the sight of his city and people swallowed by the abyss of forever, into the Void, Loka fell into madness. Perhaps they were always mad from the beginning – that is what the Great Kindred believe. They fought within Utangard – but Loki drew his crazed younger brother onward and away from his own beloved town – and, they say, he attempted to sue for peace on the plains of Vollrvatn. To no avail, for in his battle, Loka had also lost his child – and in the losing of his child and his city, he felt as though he had nothing left."
"There was only Loki left."
"Yes."
"And to wound the heart of a brother in such a way... is there any chance for reparation?" Loki snorted. "I would think not."
"There was none, apparently, between the two, to Loka at any rate," Miot'vithr sighed. "So when the two met on the plains of Vollrvatn, they battled – and under the force of their combined strengths, the Holdra River was carved and Meerauk's foundations were shaken... and so it sank... and so it fell. And so Jotunheim fell – and it has been falling ever since."
"I thought..." Loki frowned, remembering the stories he had heard as a young child at the Gothahus.
The Holdra River had been carved by two heroes, that was what the tales say, he thought. Propping his chin up on his forearms, Loki considered the story Miot'vithr had told him. Can it be true? That they were not heroes at all – but merely brothers fighting for power? That, in the end, it was in the frenzy of ambition that Jotunheim was altered beyond recognition... and so... and so...
Loki's brow wrinkled as he considered the whole story, as the new information sunk in, as memories swarmed in, as the implications slowly began to unfurl. It all made sense now. It all made horrible sense.
Laufey's actions.
He had done it, after all, for the good of Jotunheim just as he was taught, Loki realized. He only did what I would have done. Or would I have sought another way? Cruel necessity... and an unwillingness to consider alternatives... enslaved to traditions... What can I think? Can I forgive him so easily? I think not.
Farbauti's sorrow.
How much Farbauti knows is suspect, but no doubt he only sees what might have been. Especially since I am Laufey's Hear and Laufey does not appear to be able to carry another. And why is that, I wonder?
Elska's pity.
Elska knew. Surely... he knew... at least he must have guessed that I would bring Jotunheim nothing but disaster – why did he save me – why did he hope – what did he think would happen?
Odin and Frigga's pride.
Do they know... do they know? If they did, if they do, why did – why do they keep me? I am their worst enemy. At best a rival for the throne no matter how I may appear to aid and curb Thor... foolish, arrogant Thor who knows nothing – or maybe they do not know of my cursed heritage and only thought to name me after a long-forgotten sorcerer in hopes that I would, in my maturity, bring benefits to Asgard as the ancient Loki did for Jotunheim. And what – they also wish for the doom I will no doubt bring as my namesake had done? They would risk all including the potential destruction of Asgard?
Anger, frustration, fear and sadness rose within Loki and the dancing flames before him blurred as tears fill his eyes. For a moment, it threatened to overwhelm him – all those memories -
Opna's whispers – you are nothing. The Void – YOU ARE MINE. The disdainful looks, the curses and the beatings. The distant black gates of Utgard. Utangard, Citadel of the Pale Moon, and Loki's city. Laufey's disdain and the Courts hatred. Thor laughing as he pinned Loki once again to the ground.
- YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW DEFEAT -
Loki found that for a moment, he was speechless, was choking on air, choking on heady emotions as fear swelled his suspicions. His mouth hung a little ajar, unspoken words forming on his lips.
Of course, he thought. Of course, with a name like Loki, maybe Odin thought he saw some kind of tragic ambition within me. Maybe I showed a talent for destruction as well as my talent for managing Thor. Maybe – maybe –
Loki's red eyes flickered down and his gaze darted about as other memories of Odin's self-satisfied smile came to the fore. That smile which always quirked about the edges of the old King's lips whenever he watched Thor and Loki bicker.
Maybe – maybe I am the foil to Thor, the reason why he will fight and prove himself worthy for the throne. Perhaps Odin wishes for me to challenge Thor and then fail, showing Thor to be the better man-
- YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW DEFEAT -
No. No. He told himself. Frigga would not – she would not be party to such a a scheme. She would not -
And does she know the mind of the King? Truly?
Of course she would know – she would she would she would she would -
What did she hope for you then? Not the throne, surely.
Loki's breath hitched – then began to increase, hard short gasps as he shook his head in disbelief at the traitorous thoughts which swarmed about in his mind.
She wants me to happy. To be at peace-
With that name? Hardly likely.
"And so, young one-"
Elska's still body. Opna's heavy hand on his back. Thyrstr's fists. Stumbling toward Utgard, begging for mercy and -
He was strong. He would not cry. He would not cry. Crying helped nothing. Nonetheless, tears rolled down his cheeks silently and from split lips spilled heartfelt promises in his broken grasp of the Jotun tongue. Barely intelligible with a hoarse voice so long disused. So long unheard.
Lonely days on the ice fields of Utangard. The scorn of the miners. The suspicious glances of the Elders. And that day I fought the slavers... he had always asked himself – what did I hope for? Acceptance that would never come? In the end, what did they do but practically offer me up to the Slavers – abandoning me when I needed them most – because why would they risk their lives to save something that would destroy them-
"Young one-" The raised rumble of Miot'vithr's voice rose a little, breaking into Loki's chaotic thoughts.
Loki blinked, red eyes wide and unseeing as he came to himself. He glanced down at his hands which clenched on his forearms painfully, his black nails diging hard into his cursed lines bringing a dark purpling to the surface.
Cursed blood, he thought, disjointedly, tears pricking now hotly on the edges of his eyes.
"Young one," Miot'vithr then leaned forward. "Now that you know... your heritage, your abilities... the power which flows in your veins, knowing that you may unmake what was made and make what was unmade. Knowing the Casket of Winters calls to you, its Other-Soul... Knowing this, what lies in your heart for Jotunheim?"
"What – what – my – my heart?" Loki stuttered, disbelievingly, shock spreading over his face as he raised teary eyes to Miot'vithr's. For a moment, he could only shake his head – and then, finding his voice again, Loki managed to get out: "My... my HEART? Wha – have you – have you – are you – you – are you listening to yourself? I mean, really, really listening to yourself. I – I – what can I find in my heart? Why would I care about anyone on this miserable, Norn-forsaken Realm? What could I do for Jotunheim at any rate but bring death? I am Loki, the Doom of Jotunheim – remember?" Loki found himself on his feet, panting quickly and heavily.
Red, wild eyes met calmer, untroubled ones.
"After all they have done. After all they did – they do – how they still treat me to this day... You know what they see when they look at me? Nothing." Loki paused and then yelled: "NOTHING! And how – how do you think 'nothing' can help Jotunheim. Jotunheim does not need my aid. It does not want my aid. Let it die as it should have long ago – as I should have long ago."
"Loki," Elska's soft voice broke into the smaller Jotun's rant. "Loki. No."
"And you – you – what were you thinking? You did not know? Or did you?" Loki's voice filled with venom as he whipped around to face the ghost of his past. Tears ran down his cheeks unheeded as fired question after question at the one being in the world who he had thought he could trust. "Did you? Is that what you thought when you saved me – you wished to wreck Jotunheim in vengeance-"
"No – Loki!" Elska stepped forward, extending a large, dark, roughened hand, but Loki bristled, flinched away, shoulders and chest heaving.
"Knowing my abilities? OR maybe – maybe – it was some sort of ignorant kindness to ease your own suffering without any thought about mine?"
"Loki – I did not-"
"Did not know? Did not want to know? Did not think? Why didn't you tell me-"
"I did not know, Loki, the full weight of my decision – but I felt called to save you for when I held you, I believed, truly, that you were mine to cherish. You were the son I could not lose... I thought you could bring hope to Jotunheim. Our realm had need of you-"
"So, you... what... saved me for Jotunheim's sake? Because I am some kind of... game piece for the Realm?"
"Loki! I never-"
"And why didn't you tell me after – after when you knew. You have known for sometime now, have you not? Have you not? Why did you not tell me then?"
"The truth is a complicated thing, Loki, I did not wish you to misunderstand as you are now – to be burdened with the truth so early-"
"What? That – that I am a monster that the Jotunn parents tell their children about at – at night?" Loki paused, his face crumpling as he battled back tears and anger. "You know they'd never let me near the throne of Jotunheim – you have to know that – had to know that, and yet you still saved me, thinking I would aid the very Realm which rejects me-"
"Jotunheim does not reject you, beloved," Elska took a step forward , his sad ancient eyes pleading.
"I am not your beloved!" Loki screamed, voice cracking, shoulders tense, fists clenched, tears now running down his cheeks. "And you – you are not – you are NOT Elska! I – I – I-"
Loki found himself for a few seconds at a loss for words. "I can do nothing for Jotunheim – there is nothing but – but – I cannot even speak of what is in my heart. The best this Realm can hope for is that I will forget it. Forget it. Leave it... and never return."
"Loki," Elska repeated softly, his face torn with aching sadness and grief.
"I – I am... I cannot..." Loki turned away then, stumbling off to the mouth of the cavern. Away from the silent still figure of Miot'vithr and the unsettling memory of Elska.
Looking out, Loki noticed that the suns must have set and the storm had abated at some point in the conversation, for Meerauk was now shrouded in soft moonlight and the air was clear. Now it was easier to see the destruction which lay below his feet. The skeletons of rooms opened up like gaping, hungry mouths to the sky, the empty dark window like sightless eyes, the rubble, the deterioration like ugly pockmarks and scars – Meerauk, the Sunken City... the forgotten to blemish upon Jotunheim's white canvas of a wasteland, Loki thought. Innagard had it lucky. And one day, one day, Utgard will join the graveyard of cities about Jotunheim. As it should be... If I stayed, would destruction come that much sooner? Perhaps that would be a mercy...
He imagined himself leading Jotunheim into an era of peace and prosperity, imagined himself sitting on Laufey's throne giving orders to a race of people twice the height of himself, imagined reaping praise and gaining respect from his wise laws and careful rulings. Imagined the inevitable future, imagined the failure and the pain and the humiliation that would follow.
He could hear voices from another time, another place, speaking within his memory.
"No. No. But... sometimes I wish I could. Just to see... to see if this is my destiny."
"What is your destiny?"
"To lose. I sound so silly. What I mean is – must I always paly the role of the wrong one... the misguided one... the defeated one?"
"Oh... Kol'la..."
"Why must... I always fail in what I set my hand to?"
"The things I saw... they were great things... and maybe some of them may see terrible –"
Some of them may seem terrible, Loki echoed Frigga's words with dread. No. Better let Jotunheim be, Loki thought, ignoring the whispers – the call of Jotunheim. Of Heimsrsal. Of the Casket.
...beloved...
...do not give up hope...
...there is hope...
...even here...
...on Jotunheim...
There is no hope to be had here, Loki said, shaking his head. Not within this Loki.
"Miot'vithr..." Loki said into the night. "You heard what Elska called me? This child of Laufey-King, this Runt, this Abomination that should never have been... bears that name. That cursed name along with such a heritage... so then, should I not bear that doom then – the doom of Loki? What say you to that? Can I be that saviour who would destroy what he worked so hard to salvage?"
Loki turned and any further words died on his lips, at the sight of the empty cave. Elsa and Miot'vithr and the fire were gone. The wind had died down and all that remained was the plink, plink, plink of dripping water, the crack of ice and the roar of the falls echoing eerily in the silence. No longer did whispers swirl about. He was truly alone.
[...Jotunheim fell...]
[...into silence...]
Closing his eyes and shoving down regret, Loki turned away, grimacing.
"Good riddance," he told himself firmly. "Good riddance," he repeated. "They may need you, but they do not want you. They never did. Never well. Helheim take them all."
With that, Loki grabbed his pack, his spear, pulled his wolf's cloak about himself more firmly, plunged into the stream of magick once again and, finding new wells of power within, he transported himself to the Offaerdale where he knew the safest paths lay to Asgard. Arriving painfully with a groan, Loki fell to his hands and knees in the snow behind some rocks, panting as the magick blazed along his raw nerves. For a moment, he waited to catch his breath, then, stowing away his cloak and transforming himself back into his hidden Asgardian garb and visage, Loki prepared breathlessly for the final, most dangerous leg of his journey. Half-panting, half-sobbing, Loki gathered himself – and without looking back, disappeared again and plunged onto the Dark Paths desperately.
Never, he hoped, will I have to return again. If I am so lucky.
You never are, another dark part of him pointed out. Thus, Loki departed from Jotunheim.
[...and it grieved...]
-0-0-0-
Loki arrived, as he expected, rather suddenly on the edge of a rocky slope which fell away a little steeply down into a thick forest. Usually, Loki managed to skid down it rather easily enough to arrive breathlessly but unharmed at the bottom. This time, however, with little control over his seizing muscles, the slender young man ended up tumbling down the stony incline rather painfully, to land awkwardly on the bottom, covered in bits of gravel, dust, weeds and grass stains.
For a moment, he just lay there enjoying the light breeze which blew across his face and finding himself thankful for the first time in his life for the warm sunlight which filtered through the green leaves which swayed gently above him. The forest was comforting, safe – familiar enough territory. Beyond it, he knew lay green hills, fertile valleys and small meadows of flowers, grass and the odd orchard or field of some farmer. It was to the south and east of the city, not far from the capital, a good day's journey on horseback.
Once I catch my breath and relax a bit, I'll have to transport myself closer, Loki sighed. Trying to get to the castle will be too taxing for me at this point...
So he lay there, enjoying the sunlight and the breeze and the dappled warmth and the cheerful songbirds and the smaller creatures (foxes, hares, squirrels and wild mice) which scurried along branches and every so often peered down at him, bright black eyes inquisitive. There were no wolves nearby, nor bilgesnipes, nor birds of prey, nor bandits or slavers or hostile Frost Giants -
Do not spare them a moment's thought, Loki, he told himself, decisively, testing his strength carefully as he heaved himself upright to lean against a tree. Only think of home.
After a moment, he got up and made his way slowly down the hill, deciding to enjoy the quiet of the forest for a moment or two before going straight to the city's outskirts. My muscles need resting, Loki groaned, stretching his arms and legs experimentally. Disappearing his pack into his magical storage space as well as his spear, the better to free himself up for a leisurely hike, Loki moved onward, following the small path which wound its way down a small hill. The trees leaned in and down, sheltering the underbrush and the earth beneath his feet ran in small grooves – rills which would fill with rain during the spring and early summertime.
Following them downward, Loki watched them grow and deepen, as he expected into small gullies and then collect with others fed by mountain springs into a larger stream. The stream, he knew, would join with other streams further down and make its way as a river down into the city, joining Asgarthaharr. It was soothing to listen to – the young babble of the leaping waters as they splashed merrily over grey glistening rocks and jutting stone. Running clear, the stream offered Loki fresh water from which to slake his thirst. Under the sunlight, it glistened like so many diamonds, indescribable and uncomparable - a feast for eyes which had so long dwelt in the smoky dimness of the grey, urban planets and the shadows of the monochromatic, severe landscape of Jotunheim. Loki enjoyed the short hike down the hill and allowed himself some more time to relax his nerves before transporting again closer to Asgard's capital.
Drawing closer to the back gate of the outer court, Loki saw a familiar tall figure – golden hair, blue eyes, large muscles set off in well-wrought armour. Thor. As the Crown Prince turned about, Loki found himself unexpectedly cheering up at the sight of Thor although another part of him grimaced, knowing how he looked – dishevelled, grimy and a little stiff. Not what a conquering Prince would look like, I should think...
"Loki? LOKI!"
Yes. Thor had caught sight of him. Blue eyes widened and then shone with relief and excitement at the sight of Loki making his way past several crowds of peasants, merchants and servants haggling over fresh fruit, vegetables and new cuts of meat which were always brought to the Court's servant's entrance. Slipping past a particularly vocal group of fishermen, Loki approached Thor warily – to no avail.
With another great cry which drew the attention of far too many people, Thor pushed his way over to Loki, pulled him into a tight embrace, held him back the better to clasp Loki by the shoulders warmly, looked him over, exclaimed again and tangling his large hands in Loki's long dark locks which had grown longer around his neck.
"Loki! You got back! I was beginning to think I would have to put off my current plans to go out and hunt you down again! Mother said not to worry – which is odd coming from her – but I can tell that she was getting rather nervous for true. Ah! But you will get quite a scolding – running off like that-"
"I told her I was going out, Thor," Loki frowned. "Are you sure you are not exaggerating again?"
"She knew – ah – well, I do not think she thought you would be gone so long. I certainly did not think you would bear to part yourself for such a period of time from your precious books and experiments... Father said you would be back in your own good time, but I am sure that – FANDRAL! Look who has finally returned!"
"Oho! Loki! I see you look..." A quick glance up and down Loki's dusty and torn attire, Fandral decided to settle for diplomatic, "...healthy... and rather... well, how can one say this... have you been in some war that we were not told about? It would not be like you to go off keeping some wonderful opportunity for combat all for yourself-"
"I assure you I was not seeking combat-"
"Ah! Sif!" Thor was really beside himself. "Look who just arrived! Loki! And he looks rather – well – Mother will have a fit."
"I hardly think-"
"You know how the Queen gets when one of her boys disappears," Sif shook her head humorously. "How many times has Thor's ears been blistered with her scolding?"
"And for good reason," Loki smirked, folding his arms and giving Thor a hard look. "The things you get up to, Thor, should have given us all grey hairs long ago."
"Not I," Sif sniffed, "I can keep up with Thor."
"That is the truth," Fandral snorted and then coughed sharply as Sif elbowed him with a death glare. "Ah, so, Loki, where were you at anyways? We were not looking for you, but we did not see you in Vanaheim or Alfheim when we were there."
"Vanaheim and Alfheim?" Loki blinked. "What were you doing there?"
"Looking into something," Thor shrugged. "Nothing came of it, sadly. Still, some new thing has come up on-"
"No," Loki groaned. "Not again."
"Not again?" Thor repeated miffed. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Never mind," mumbled Loki. "I just... I know where this is going."
"Well, I was going to ask you to join us, but if you are so busy," Thor said testily, "and wanting to get back to those boring-"
"They are not boring-"
"They are boring to me. And to Sif and Fandral and Volstagg and Hogun."
"Yes, and being boring to you lot, they must be boring to everyone," Loki said sarcastically, allowing Thor and the others to draw him further into the gate and closer to the palace. "Silly me to have forgotten that!"
"Well, you have been gone some time," Fandral slapped Loki on the back with a smile spreading across his face, flicking back his golden hair gracefully as he winked at a passing serving maid. "You may have forgotten that it is all about us."
"Ah, yes," Loki replied dryly. "I must have."
"Well, I think you should come," Thor said, a determined glint in his eye. "It is a shorter jaunt this time – and Father sanctioned it."
"Hm," Loki nodded noncomittantlly.
"To Garthrana, which is you know a state we offered protection to some time ago... bandits landed and have laid waste to good farmland and wreck havoc, stealing and looting and taking slaves and I think-"
"Fine, Thor," Loki waved a hand tiredly in Thor's direction as his older brother's words spewed out.
"-that this is a good opportunity for Asgard to show its goodwill to it's neighbours, which is what you are always going on and on about whenever we talk diplomacy. Even Father and Mother think it is a good idea and are sending a company of soldiers with us – I think it might be Tyr even-"
"Thor. I will go-"
"-I know that you are just coming in from your own quest or wherever you went off to hide, but this will be nothing but a quick strike mission, easily enough handled-"
"THOR! I said I would go!" Loki hit his brother on the arm hard enough to catch Thor's attention. "When do you ever listen-"
"You will come?"
"Yes. I have been saying that for the past minute or so, have I not?" Here, Loki turned to Sif and Fandral for confirmation.
"He has been," Sif rolled her eyes. "You talk too softly, Loki."
"Just because he does not sound like a giant," Fandral snorted, "does not excuse our dear Prince's exuberance. I am glad you are coming, Loki, at last we will have one person with sense on the mission other than Hogun."
"I notice you do not count yourself in the number," Thor laughed easily, now that that his world was set to right and he had gotten his way. "How modest."
"Fandral knows what I would say if he began to spout his usual delusions of grandeur," Sif laughed then, "but I am glad that Loki is coming."
"If you will wait," Loki amended, giving Thor a look. "I must repack, bathe, eat and meet Mother... and Father."
"Yes, yes," Thor agreed as the four stepped into the first back foyer of the palace. "Mother will no doubt have a lot to say when she sees you."
-0-0-0-
The meeting with their mother and father was nothing what Thor had expected. Instead of being summoned directly (for he knew that the news of Loki's return would have spread like wildfire throughout the Court), Loki was able to eat and bathe before making his way to his Mother's rooms. Impatiently, Thor followed Loki in, wanting to see what Frigga's first words would be.
Shouting and scolding as she usually would? Or would she just give Loki the even more potent look of disappointment?
Instead, however, at the sight of Loki, Frigga rose swiftly and drew her younger son into a tight embrace, drawing back, looking the dark-haired young man up and down before drawing him again into another tight embrace while tutting about how much weight Loki had apparently lost. Although to my mind he looks as he does usually, Thor thought critically, too thin... Standing to the side, Thor blinked, befuddled as Loki smiled tiredly in silent response.
"You will have to eat a good dinner tonight, young man," Frigga was saying as Odin came into the room, joining Thor quietly. "No ifs, ands or buts. Vegetables, fruit – and I will have the cook bring your favourite mint pudding in celebration. My goodness, your hair has gotten quite long – it has been a while I suppose since you have seen a barber."
"I will get it looked after tomorrow," Loki promised, "and I will eat well tonight. I promise."
"And? How did it go?" Frigga asked.
"It went... well..." Loki glanced at Thor and Odin quickly before meeting Frigga's inquiring gaze. "It went well all things considered. I am... tired."
"Were you hurt or wounded at all?"
"Not this time around," Loki smiled. "I just used a fair bit more magick than I am used to. It is amazing how out of practice one can get-"
"Hm," Thor grunted, feeling a little perplexed and nonplussed – and annoyed.
So, Loki is going to be hailed as some long-lost son – and not even get a scolding for running off who knows where?
"I would have thought that you spent enough time fiddling about with such trivialities like magick," Thor added. "What with all those hours you waste away in the library with your nose in a book like some old man or woman."
"Now, Thor," Frigga said mildly, giving her older son a look.
"Well," Odin finally said, moving forward to clap his youngest son on the back and nodding in a stately, serious manner. "He is a scholar, Thor, and scholars must read as a soldier must wield his sword. Still..." Here, Odin gave Loki a small nod of recognition. "I am glad to see my second son home safe."
"I am glad to be back," Loki found himself smiling back in response, his hand now firmly clasped by Frigga's warm fingers. He squeezed her hand gently. "It is good to return home and see everyone again... Quests are great adventures and we can... we can learn much from them," Loki continued sobering a little, "but in the end, it is the return that matters."
"True," Odin nodded. "Even better to return successful."
"Was it successful? I know how it can be difficult for you to-" Thor fell silent at Frigga's silent 'look'.
Looking away, Thor frowned, wrestling with rising feelings of jealousy as Frigga made Loki sit down on her closest couch and ordered tea and biscuits for them. Of course she will go easy on him, Thor told himself in consolation, considering how sensitive he is – and how rare it is for him to go out and show himself in some honourable combat. It should be encouraged more often, Thor decided, I just need to ensure that I can join him. I want to experience it with him, Thor realized suddenly – and with relief – how important Loki had become to him over the years. He is my brother. Of course I want him by my side. It is only right that we should support each other.
"It went just as I hoped, on one level," Loki was saying quietly to Frigga as she poured him a cup of sweet dark tea and offered him a fluffy white biscuit. Odin was served next and Thor chafed silently as he waited for his turn. "There were other... surprises... but it went well."
"Where did you go?" Thor asked again. "I know you can get to some places even I do not know of - and Heimdall could not find you, for some reason-"
"No matter," Odin said dismissively. "It was a matter for the King and since you are not King... yet... it need not trouble you. Your mother and I are just glad to have both of our sons back safely. I hope that Loki can stay a little closer to home in the near future – since we have much to discuss. Thor has been preparing all of his life for this moment – and it would behoove us all to take our fair share in supporting Thor in his new responsibilities when they are given to him."
"Thor is doing what?" asked Loki, curiously.
"He will be-"
"I will be preparing for kingship," Thor puffed out his chest proudly and caught his mother's proud gaze with a big smile.
Loki, mid-sip of his tea, suddenly started to choke a little. Frigga patted him on the back gently, offering him a tissue, while Odin gave his younger son a sharp glance.
"Sor-sorry," the younger man gasped. "When is this happening? Soon?"
"Not soon enough," sighed Thor, lounging back suddenly in his chair with a gusty sigh. "Father says I must prepare with this and that, increased tutoring and I will have to spend more time at his side during the Court and council sessions. Also, I have to go to some court functions and meet some people and there is the whole matter of what I must wear and the day it must be on and how many people will be allowed in, if any at all, and so on and so forth."
"All in good time dear," Frigga smiled at her eldest. "It will come sooner than you expect."
"My thoughts exactly," Loki mumbled, but he said nothing more on the matter, deciding to change the topic. "I would like to stay but..." Here, he gave Thor a resigned look. Thor immediately sat up and nodded proudly.
"Loki agreed to accompany us to Garthrana! How wonderful is that!" he enthused, leaning forward to hit Loki on his leather-clad bicep.
"Oh, Thor!" Frigga protested. "He just got home! I will have hardly had time to say hello! And I think Loki needs a rest – he looks like he needs a rest-"
"Ha! You should have seen him when he first came in," laughed Thor easily. "Covered in bits and pieces of twigs and leaves and dust – as if he took a tumble down a hill or something... I never seen Loki so dishevelled since he worked in the stables!"
"Just because I like to be clean-"
"Well," sighed Odin, "at least Loki returned hale and whole. I know that your Mother was worried for your health, my son, as she is always for all of us."
"For all of you," Frigga's hand rose to give Loki another side-ways hug. "I definitely missed our breakfasts together."
"I did too, Mother," Loki found the word, which had been so difficult to say before, so easily passing his lips.
"Oh, Loki..." Frigga's eyes suddenly got rather wet and she busied herself with the pile of napkins by the kettle.
Thor sighed again, annoyed and embarrassed by his mother's open sentimentality, and kicked Loki in the ankle.
"We should go and get ready for tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Loki asked. "So soon?"
"We have been preparing all week," Thor glared, "it is not my fault that you arrived at the eleventh hour!"
"It is not my fault! How was I supposed to know you what you were planning?"
"You should have been here at the beginning!" Thor retorted.
"Ah! So I am to be kept to the grounds of the palace merely to be at your beck and call for any of your usual brainless whimsies?"
"Brainless?"
"Whimsies," added Loki, with a wide grin. "Your brainless whimsies."
"Aiding folk to fight bandits is hardly a whimsy nor is it brainless-"
"Well, maybe not this time-"
"I should say not!"
"-but next time, you know what will happen..."
They left the presence of their parents, arguing volubly – but the both of them were smiling.
[...Asgard's brilliance never dims...]
[...Jotunheim falls into shadow...]
[...and Meerauk lies in silence...]
[...is waiting...]
[...waiting...]
Laufey is right, Farbauti thought sadly of the one lost yet again to their family, he did not belong here... he will not return – and so we cannot wait... we must not wait. And yet... Here, the tall, elderly Jotunn peered down sadly to gaze across the way to the nearest city wall upon which, he knew, Byleistr paced daily, face into the suns' rising.
Byleistr will wait. He will always be waiting.
Wow. OK. Excuse me while I go die. I'll see when I get an update done. We'll see... (whacked out)
I hope this whole thing lives up to the hype... vv
Let me know if it didn't... or if it did.
Thanks so much, you guys~
-KI
p.s. There may be a week or two wait before the next update. I'll try to get something out before Christmas, but we'll see...
Alien Glossary:
'auzha – fucker
Dou'ma – idiot
r'senk'ne – a kind of deer/cow hybrid
n'ch'nka – a kind of cow
chi'iano – a radioactive piece of rock similar to uranium
cho'ai - lover
kol-sava'atha – a titanium-rich ore
Morning-star - a mace.
oma'auzha – mother-effer
oto'oa - big sister
udji'oo – a drug, like opium
Asgardian Glossary:
bikkja – bitch
Brenna-Fir – the Immolation
Drakka Thyod – Dragon Race
ergi - womanly, weak, "gay"
Fiendfyre – a phoenix-firebird
Flauguna – flying feet/teleportation
fotr'ro - footstool
Ginnung – the Void
harhvila - high bed
Hiti-mothr – Flame Fury (also known as Lachruth)
Kaesia-Seithr – Spirit-Spear style
Koma a Aldr – Coming of Age
Kveykva-herklaethi – Light Armoured style
Laegja – the Immersion
Ofolr Leith – Dark Paths, Other Ways (crossing the Void)
Ominni-tith - the Forgotten Times
Rikr-Hringraevi – Grand Cycles of Time
Runa a Fyrsta – Rites of Initiation
Runa a Kelda – Rites of Spring
Runa'a'vetr – Winter Solstice
Saga-Vefr – Story-weavers
seithr - magic
seithrmaster - mage, sorceror
Skjald-borhyrr – Wall of Flame
Skipa – the Infusion
Skokkr-a-Mir – concealment skills, Box of Mirrors (also known as Col'ca-cenedril)
stormerki – mysteria
Tveir-Andlit – illusionary skills, Double Face
Velspara-Speki – the Well (of Wisdom)
Elvish Glossary:
skreyppa – slippery one
gargani – snake
fintalenir – trickster
vanwa – defeated one, impolite term for "loser"
caitahto – liar
curunar – fiery one
Lachruth – Flame Fury
Col'ca-cenedril – Box of Mirrors
Cebir-Gondlug – Spike-Stone Dragon
Am'loce Norie – Dragon Race
raudhaust – high bed
Jotunheim Glossary:
Aldinn Stathr – Ancient Place
Almror'ganga - Long Range Weapon Contest
Arlang'leith – the Annual Caravan
Atfirth – energies
ausa'songr fugl - flow-songbirds
blakkrbjorr – black beer
Blakkrbjorn – black bear
blakkrgras – black grass
blargras – blue grass
blar'iss hros - black ice horse
Blaufe'irsteinn - blue fire stone
Brandr'ganga - Unarmed Combat
Dagaheim
Dauthr'ganga - Death Duel
dvegr – dwarf
dyrspeki – zoologist
Eybjarg (Chasms of Forever)
Faetha'snaer - "Mother", "who births the snow"
fauld – a part of armour around the lower midsection
Fjor'fylgja – Life Mate
Flara River – Treacherous River
For-Eldra – Ancestors
Forn Vegr – Old Ways
Frothleikr'ganga - Battle of Magick
Fylgja'snaer - "Father", "who aids the snow"
Gastropnir
Glima'ganga - Battle of Swords
Gnottvatn (Lake of Abundance)
Gothahus – temple
Grarfjall – Grey Mountains
grarulfr – grey wolves
Griotunagardar
hafnathr – sea serpents
heillgrjot – healing stones
Heimsrsal – Soul of the Realm
heithrsker – crystal flowers
hjarr'veithr - rabbit chaser (a kind of eagle)
Holdra River – Hero's River
holkimurtr – small flat fish
Holkn Vollr – Flat Plains
holmganga – a method of ending feuds/disagreements
hota-eik – white oak
hvaeta – wheat
hvitr'steinn - white fire stone
Innaheim – Inner Realm
iss'hona'by - ice honey bee
jarnkottr – iron cat (beast which Laufey released in Thor)
jarnvithr – iron wood
Kaldrfjall (Cold Mountains)
Kero Fornvetr – Casket of Ancient Winters
kostrboth – a method of proving virility for the purpose of marriage
lagreinn – small one (epithet)
lagr'hyggr – fool
Lengi Ofrithr – Long War
luthrblom – trumpet flower
manisilfr – moonsilver
Meir'brothir – Older Brother
melrakki – white fox
Myrkr Skogr – shadow forest
Nattura – spirits
Northri Stjarna – North Star
rjothr'auga haukr - red-eyed hawk
silvralmr – silver elm
silvrfiskr – silver fish
Sithr Efingi – True Heir
Skalldi
skordyr – Jotunheim goat
Smar'brothir – Younger Brother
snaerharra – snow rabbit
snjarlang'hvartha - snow camel
Storrholl – Great Hall
thurblakulfr – giant black wolves
tunglbom (moonflower)
Utanheim – Outer Realm
Utgard
vaetki – nothing
ventrmellin – winter melon
villrkyr – wild ox
Virtha Aevi – Coming of Age
Vit'ganga - Battle of Wits
Vollrvatn – Lake of the Plains