Chapter 8

Nightfall seemed to come quickly and the room where Caitlin and Hawke were being held was getting darker and cooler. Hawke could sense that Caitlin was getting cold and that she was still very upset.

"Caitlin, come here," he said. "Together we can keep warm."

Caitlin reluctantly moved across the room and sat down beside Hawke who was sitting on the bed with his back to the wall. He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him.

Caitlin shifted slightly and winced. "Ow," she said.

"What's wrong?" asked Hawke.
"Oh, I think they pulled a couple of stitches out of my arm when they forced me into that helicopter."

Hawke couldn't hide his anger and worry. "I told Dom that you two shouldn't be flying any Airwolf missions. It's too dangerous," he said. "That should have been me."

"Just because you want to run away and hide when things get tough doesn't mean that we do Hawke," Caitlin said.

"Is that what you really think of me?" he asked.

"I don't know what to think Hawke," she replied. "You never tell me what you're thinking. I still have no idea why we can't be together when it's obvious we love each other."

String was silent for awhile. He knew she was right. Why was it so hard for him to tell her how he felt? If he loved her, why didn't he trust her with his deepest thoughts and feelings? Maybe that was the problem.

"I guess I feel that you deserve someone who can protect you and provide for you. Without my eyesight, I can't do either of those things," he finally said.

"Don't you think that's a little old fashioned?" she asked.

Hawke shrugged. "I'm an old fashioned guy I guess."

"You certainly didn't think this whole thing through," she replied. "What were you planning to do if you got your sight back?"

"Get on my hands and knees and beg," Hawked chuckled.

Caitlin turned and punched him lightly in the arm. "Damn it Hawke, that's not funny. How can you make jokes at a time like this?"

"Look, things aren't looking too good here," he replied. "I was just trying to lighten the mood."

He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his other arm across her stomach. "You're right though. I was too upset about losing my eyesight that I didn't think it all the way through. Last night, you got to me and it scared me."

"I don't understand," she replied.

"You're the only woman I've ever been with that knows how to push all the right buttons with me," he said softly. "Even when I try to pull away, you always seem to know how to reel me back in. It would have been so much easier had you gone to Florida and stayed."

"Going to Florida meant running away," she replied. "It didn't feel right. I'm too old to be running from my problems."

"Like I do," he replied.

Caitlin sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"You know as well as I do that there's no way we can go back to the way things were before our relationship got serious," he replied.

Caitlin felt the tears in her eyes again. "I know," she said. "But the alternative scares me."

String reached up and felt the tears stream down her face. "Please don't cry Cait," he said. "I know I'm hardheaded and an ass sometimes, but I don't think I can ever really let you go. As scared as I am to let you be there for me, it scares me more to not have you in my life. I'm really sorry for what I did this morning."

Caitlin put her arms around String and squeezed him tightly. "I love you but the only way I can stay is if you let me in Hawke," she replied. "That means telling me the things that make you tick. Why you do the things you do. Can you do that?"

"I'll try," was all he said before both of them drifted off to sleep.