I know its been like 2 years since I updated but just found this story again so going to try and finish it. Please review and let me know what you think, also and ideas on what you think should or could happen. Thank you
"Really we're not going to leave you. I promise" just this simple sentence that was said to be comforting gets to me. I start crying and the both seem to be not expecting that.
"Hey what are the tears about?"
"I'm sorry it's just I've been promised that before. Josh swore he would never leave me. He said he'd be there when ever I needed him and now he's gone. He's gone"
2 weeks. 14 days. That's how longs it's been since it happened. Josh is gone but I'm still here. Physically I'm here but mentally I'm somewhere else. I'm lost. I'm just lost without him. It should have sunk in but yet I still don't get how it could have happened. People from the church have said that its al been a part of god's plan. But how can I believe that, what about my plan. What about his plans, our plans. We were supposed to live our lives and then grow old together. He wasn't supposed to …. Well not now. Not when we were 18. I can't even say it. I know that's ridiculous but I can't and I can't stay here. Walking downstairs I'm probably about to hurt my parents but I have to do it. I can't stay here.
"Mom… dad?"
"Gabriella?" See. There shocked at the fact that I've come downstairs to talk ..What are they gonna be like after I've said what I'm about to.
"I know I've not been myself the past 2 weeks.."
"Well sweetie we totally understand you been through a lot. We're not expecting you to bounce back for a while but just the fact that you've come down to have a conversation means the world. And just so you know me and your dad are gonna be here for you every step of the way.."
"Mom. Please. I appreciate everything you've just said and I know you'll be there but can I please finish what I'm gonna say before you say anything?" they just sat there and nodded. "I love you both so much and you have been so amazing over the past couple of weeks. But….I'm sorry I can't stay here. I've tried. Mom I honestly have tried. But walking outside to get the paper this morning proved to myself that everything I thought was going to happened did. I saw the tree, and the bloodstain and everything brought back the vision of the crash. I'm sorry I really am I but I can't live somewhere when every time I open my front door all I see is the place where he got taken away from me. I can't I'm sorry. I've tried but I can't. I want to go with Taylor tomorrow. I hope you can understand"
Sat upstairs now I can't stop thinking about what I've just done. I know this is what I want and in the long term it will help me by leaving here. But a part of me knows I'm going to miss being able to go and see the places we used to go whenever I want. I won't be able to do that in New Mexico. I won't be able to go and remember.
"Gabriella?"
"Come in" mom and dad walk in and I know they're going to try and convince me to stay. But I can't I've tried for the last week but I can't.
"Gabriella we're not going to lie to you we really wish you would stay with us so we can be here and help you through this…but if you really feel like it's going to help you by going with Taylor then you can go" I can't believe it I really thought they would make me stay.
"Really? Thank you. So much. And I'm really going to miss you both but I feel that this is something I need to do"
" We understand that and here" my dad gave me and envelope.
"Plane tickets?"
"Yeah we figured that you would want to go so we bought them the other day. We also got an open return ticket so you can come back whenever you like"
" Thank you so much." I can feel myself starting to cry manage to hold it together until they leave but then I'm gone.
"Gabby? Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah i'll be down in 2 minutes Taylor"
So today's the day I leave. Everything's packed. And I'm leaving for the airport in 10 minutes. Its surreal. I know this is what I want but its feels so wrong leaving here. It feels like I'm deserting him. That I'm just moving on and forgetting him. But I have to leave or I never will.
Everything about this house reminds me of him. For the first time since it happened I'm standing on my balcony. This was the place that I last saw him happy and smiling. I try to picture him like that but since it happened all I can see is the pain and fear in face when he was lying in my arms covered in blood on the street. Although I know he's gone I can't accept it yet. That's why I've not been back to his grave since the funeral. It's too hard to fully say goodbye. I can't do it yet. I've wrote a letter to him and asked Taylor to leave on his grave when she went this morning because I'm too much of a coward to go myself. But I feel that if I go I will be fully acknowledging that's he's gone and I'm just not ready to do that yet. One day but not now.
IN NEW MEXICXO
"So how awkward do you think it will be?" although Chad was my oldest friend he seriously did not know when to shut up.
"Seriously are you actually talking right now"
"What?"
"We're at the airport to pick up Taylor and her best friend who has just lost her boyfriend and your asking if its gonna be awkward. Have some respect Chad" Sharpay always had a way with words and if there's one thing she hates its rude people. Chad looking at me for help didn't not know how to respond to Sharpay's death stare. And believe me you do not want to be on the receiving end of that stare.
"Right guys listen. When Taylor and Gabriella walk through those doors this is what's going to happen. We are going to be nice but do not look at her sympathetically cause that will make her feel awkward. We are going to talk her like normal but without forgetting the fact that we need to be sensitive round her. Which means Chad you are going to not say anything stupid that is going to make her upset or feel awkward just be nice and offer to carry her bags.."
"When do I say stuff that's makes people feel awkward?" he seems totally lost at the comment but we all know what she means.
"Don't even get me started we do not have the time. Now Ryan. I know you are a lovely guy and are very sensitive but you have a habit of sometimes asking to many questions. So just try and be normal and not bombard her. She's gonna be tired and she's gonna be upset which means keep the asking to an absolute minimum. Finally Troy.." oh here we go. She spins around and although I would never admit it to her when she gets like this she can be a little frightening. "Troy. You are the only whose ever met her and I remember saying that you got a long really well so you need to be the one to initially make her feel comfortable. Be nice but don't be to charming cause it will just confuse her. Now guys I know I sound like a controlling bitch but just imagine what's she's been through. Her boyfriends died in front of her eyes and she's now moving to a place where she hardly knows anyone. Just make her feel like she belongs her and let her know that we're nice and welcoming and we are also going to be here and support her if she needs it. Okay?" we all just nod. When Sharpay is in this mood you do not want to cross her. Don't get me she is one of the most loveliest people you will ever meet and se would do absolutely anything to protect her friends and family so that's why we listen to her when it comes to stuff like this.
"Taylor can I ask you something?" we had just got off the plane and we were walking to the exit about to meet her friends who were picking us up.
"Yeah of course what's up?"
"When we meet your friends….there not going to be asking me about him are they? Cause I really can't deal with anyone talking about it right now?"
"Of course not. I was talking to Sharpay last night and I told that its really hard for you so not to bring it up at the airport. And believe me she will have given the guys a bollocking this morning about what not say when we get here"
"thanks it's just gonna be weird enough meeting them without bringing up the reasons why I'm here" I can see Taylors a little surprised at the face that I've just mentioned josh without crying. It's just since I left the house this morning I've not felt the need to cry. I think it's finally sinking in and I know don't know what to feel.
"You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be" here we go. We walk through the arrivals and I can see waving to a group of people. Looking in the same direction and see 4 strangers. Well actually that guy looks really familiar. I think it's that guy I met once. Yeah he came to visit with Taylor. He was really nice and we got along well. Ah what was he called again…t something…
"Troy over here" that's it Troy. I knew it began with a T.
"Taylor!" a rather pink blonde girl came running over and hugged her.
"And you must be Gabriella. I'm Sharpay and this is Ryan, Chad and I think you already met Troy"
"Yeah. Hi. It's nice to meet you all. And thank you for picking us up" why am I talking so quietly. It's so unlike me I used to be so loud and bubbly. Its ever since… anyways I refuse to focus on that. This is supposed to be my new start.
"Yeah thanks guys. So who's going with who" I know Taylor has seen me go quite and is trying to move the conversation along. I really love her for it right now.
"Well troy and Chad have drove but Chad's car is a typical guy car and is seriously messy so him and Ryan will go in that and take the luggage then us girls will go with Troy. Well if that's ok with everyone?"
"Yeah sure. Let's go"
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