Stockholm Syndrome
And I won't hold you back
Let your anger rise
And we'll fly and we'll fall and we'll burn
~ Stockholm Syndrome, Muse
Poor Ivo. First Danny and then me. He was such a slave to his needs, but then aren't we all? I suppose I am no better or worse than he for needing me than I for wanting him. And I am not certain which of us was the greater victim, the greater culprit.
Still, falling in love with me had to his biggest mistake and I can't help but wonder if he ever regretted it. But no. He has stayed by me through thick and through thin. He came to love me so completely that as time went on, he actually began to adopt my point of view, seeing it as correct and just. That I was a consummate liar and thief - manipulative and selfish to the core, that I betrayed and rejected him - seemed only rational to him. He made excuses to himself for my behaviour – accepting me for all my wrongdoing because he loved me. I had had a difficult upbringing, been ignored by my mother and a sex toy in school. Of course I was depraved. He loved me and no matter how much I abused that love he was steadfast. He would not abandon me.
Never mind the fact that he had had it much worse. His mother rejected him outright when she discovered he was homosexual, refused to acknowledge him at his own sister's wedding. Never mind that his own lover had been murdered just for being gay; he was left with permanent injuries from the attack – diminished vision in one eye and the loss of one kidney. Never mind that he readily availed himself to help me heal. I was so absorbed with my own needs, I failed to ever consider his.
How odd that the worse off of the two of us took it upon himself to shelter the maltreater. Strange that the needier became the master.