Everybody Leaves Her

Request: Caroline gets Klaus' voicemail. Title from Beautiful Disaster by John Mclaughlin.

Caroline played the message again. "Caroline. I'm standing in one of my favorite places in the world. Surrounded by food, music, art, culture. And I can only think of how I wanted to show you. Maybe one day you let me".

She wasn't sure how many times she had played it since the first time, but she knew that the words would stay in her mind for a long time. It wasn't really a choice, it was a... a need to hear his voice, to hold onto and treasure the last words his voice would ever say to her.

Why did Klaus have to say things like that? Why did he have to make her think he cared more than he did? He left. He left without a word, or explanation, and she wanted to be angry at him. She didn't want to hear his sweet words, his promises of a future together, when he didn't mean them. Why would he wait for her? She was... she was just a blip, she didn't even register on the map of his life.

She had done her best to push him away, and he had finally left. The problem was, she wasn't sure if she wanted him to come back or if she wanted to run to him.

She played the message again.

Did she want it? Did she want to be with him? Did she want to experience the world with him at her side? She didn't know, she couldn't know, and as many times as she thought just maybe, maybe she could go to him, something held her back. And she didn't know what that was.

So she played the message again, biting her lip, trying to fight down whatever the feeling was that was bubbling up in her.

"I'm afraid of you..." Her words, directed at Klaus but said to Silas rolled around in her head as she tried to sleep. That wasn't quite right though, was it? She wasn't afraid of him, at least she wasn't afraid of Klaus hurting her physically, not anymore. She was afraid what it said about her that she... felt anything for him. She was afraid that if she opened her heart to him, if she let herself really fall for him, he would get tired of her and leave her. He already had.

She wondered how much of Silas' words to her had been her own desires and not something that Klaus would ever say or feel. She picked up her phone, scrolling through the numbers, putting the phone to her ear without really a thought. The standard automated message rolled into her ear, and she suddenly knew what she had to say. "Hey Klaus, it's um, it's Caroline. Look, I don't expect you to wait for me, and it's fine if you don't, I understand. I'm not ready yet. I- I need to do things on my own for a little while. I need to- I need to be okay with myself first. But if your offer is still there in five, ten years, I think I'll be ready to try." She paused for a moment, gathering herself. "I'll be seeing you then. Bye Klaus."

All she could hope was that he would wait, because she didn't think she would ever shake him. And that was the scariest part of all.