Hello there again everyone! khrismlove here for another exciting chapter of When Water Turned Ice! :D
I don't own FairyTail, Mashima Hiro does - his characters, concepts and ideas ~~ :D
I don't own even the requested song that i suggested to be played while reading a part of this chapter! :D The singer, composer and producer are greatly appreciated and acknowledged :D
Thank you for supporting my work! Keep on reading! :D
Juvia's P.O.V.
"The girl that's always with Gray is….
Is….
my bestfriend…
Levi.."
Lucy became dumbstruck while Erza held the hilt of her sword. "You mean….Levi, the top 1 of the class?", asked Lucy while staring intently in my eyes.
"Yup."
"How could she have done this? HOW DARE GRAY?!", Lucy started having her tantrums. She has doubts manifesting in her eyes, but I couldn't blame her for that. Even I couldn't believe what happened.
"Tell me the whole story.", Erza demanded. Erza's always been the "sure-willed" lady. She doesn't jump to conclusions…unlike… Lucy. xD
"Alright."
THE STORY
I've always stalked Gray ever since I met him. It's because I'm really obsessed with him, maybe because of his looks, maybe because he's ice, maybe because of his ignorance, maybe because he's simply Gray. I don't know if he ever noticed I'm stalking him, I guess he didn't. Or if he did, he doesn't care.
It was a Saturday when I saw Gray passing our house, he's definitely going to the park nearest to our place. So I immediately put some decent clothes and switched to ninja mode to stalk in the shadows. When I've reached the park, he was talking to a girl, blue haired and somewhat shorter than him. They were conversing seriously, then laughing. Rainclouds were forming above me, hinting that anger and jealousy has overcome my heart. I vowed to follow them everyday and see if I can get a closer look of the girl. If I do, then I'll make her regret choosing Gray.
It happened again the following morning. This time, they went to the mall. I was hiding behind people, surprising them when I do. The girl led him to a stall of where they sell miniature sculptured rose. I know that stall because that's where I buy the unique roses that I add to my collection. The girl was pointing to a shiny red one, and Gray immediate examined it himself, putting it close to his face. I tried so HARD to focus my eyes on the rose and then it hit me. IT WAS THE ONE THAT I WANTED SO BAD TO BUY BUT COULDN'T BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY YET!.And then, he bought it. Then the girl got it from his hands and fancied herself in staring at it. Then they turned and left.
Clouds started to form again so I tried so hard to hold my composure. But it was the rose… *cries really hard*
"Hey Juvia, why are you crying?" – Erza. "I really wanted that rose." – Juvia. "Just go on with the DAMN story! You're interrupting our building emotions"-Lucy. "Alright, alright." – Juvia.
To calm down my emotions, I went to a fast food and ordered a couple of drinks and a meal. I thought I would relax a bit, but my Gray-radar pick up Gray's presence, and when I look, there they were on the far side of the fastfood, their backs facing me. My hurt wanted to collapse, to run towards the table and start drowning the girl but I wasn't sure if I must. So I left, crying.
Week days followed and this feeling got worst. Gray always dismisses early, recess, lunch and after class, to speak to this girl. I haven't seen him walking the girl to her house because at the exit gates, they separate – which was a good thing. So I concluded that the girl is also my rival and luckily, a schoolmate. So I can trace her anytime I want. But I couldn't.
Every night, this feeling of jealousy and anger keeps bugging me. I tried to sleep, but couldn't. I started thinking of giving up on Gray. If he's happy with the girl, then I should be happy for him. But you can understand me that I love Gray, and I tend to be selfish, protective, possessive – even though he's not mine. This growing doubt couldn't be erased by the motivation I once had ever since we met. Maybe it's because Gray's happiness is involve. And I don't want to hinder that.
This doubt grew into a firm decision when I saw the face of the girl…
*Insert background music here – It Will Rain – Bruno Mars* (please do! ^_^ so that you'll feel the emotion running through Juvia :D)
It was Levi… my bestfriend…
They were there again on a Saturday morning. It was in the same park where I first saw them. This time, I took the courage to hide behind the tree closes to where they are sitting, just behind the bench. When I got a closer look at her, that's when my heart fell into pieces. No, not in pieces – it was already in pieces – it was in ruins.
Knowing that Gray was dating someone broke my heart. Knowing that my feelings for Gray weren't enough, it shattered my heart. And knowing that it's my bestfriend whom he is dating, it seems like my heart got stepped on repeatedly, simultaneously stomped on, until my heart is but particles, glitters with which the wind will simply blow it away.
I couldn't control my emotions anymore, I just…just let it all out… let it all go… No one will care anyway. Gray wouldn't care… like always. I stared blankly at the grass, my back behind the tree. It was useless fighting back tears. It was useless to still continue my love chase for Gray. It was useless to even demand an explanation from my bestfriend. I AM USELESS.
Eavesdropping is not a part of me but I couldn't help but catch a glimpse of their conversation. But my hearing seems hazy over the emotions that went crazy inside of me. I just caught… "You know what…the feeling is mutual… Love…". I went out of focus, like my ears started to malfunction and couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. But it was enough for me to conclude that Levi is confessing her feelings for Gray.
I began to sob. Darkness started to replace the bright horizon that was once lighting up the morning. Rain clouds started to gather. Tears won't help but fall – it's the only way for unspoken feelings to be let out. It's the only time that pain took over my whole body, my whole being. It was unbearable. It was unstoppable. Like the pouring rain that fell down to the earth…
People started to look for shelter from the pouring rain. Gray and Levi took off somewhere. As for me, I cried like a baby under the shelter of a tree. I shrieked, yelled up to the sky, even screamed so loud. But the pouring rain was louder than my screams. I cried and I cried until there were no tears left for my eyes to let out – but that was impossible. My knees became the only closest "thing" that I could lean on.
Sensing that it was already afternoon, a drizzle still lingers. I stood up and walked carelessly towards home. I was drenched in the rain, my clothes were muddy, my hair all tangled up. But I didn't care. When I reached home, I went to the bathroom and stayed in the tub for hours – drowning myself possibly. But I know that's impossible.
Levi is my bestfriend, a very important person in my life. She's the first friend that I have ever had. Gray is my dream, my love and the first man that I ever loved. Both of them are important but both of them disappointed me. Both of them broke my heart. And both of them left me to pieces. I wanted to be mad. I wanted to curse the two of them. I wanted to curse their relationship. I wanted to damn throw every bit of my power to them, crush them into bits. But…they are still my friends. And I wanted them to be happy.
If being with each other makes them happy, good for them. Maybe it's time to set aside my selfish love for Gray. Maybe it's time for me to stop. Maybe this is the sign. Maybe there's a different path where I'll be happier. Maybe focusing on Gray is the reason why I can't find that happiness that I deserve.
I went to bed, still crying. But when I woke up, I firmly vowed that I wouldn't be the same Juvia that Gray met, that Gray missed, and that Gray wouldn't ever take for granted anymore. Because this Juvia, has feelings turned to ice and a heart turned to stone.
After that day, Levi left for abroad. She was on errand with the head of the department so there wasn't any decent conversation with her yet. Sure, there are lots of emails from her. But I didn't let her feel that I was hurt. I kept my distance from Gray. It was hard at first but when I recall all the stupid things that I've done for him and all the ignorance that Gray has shown for my actions, it motivated me to stay away. And it did. After a year, it became normal – ignoring Gray.
So that's my story!
To my surprise, Erza and Lucy were both sobbing hard.
"Hey.. don't be so emotional", I demanded the two of them. But they kept on crying, and wiping each other's tears. This is the first time I saw Erza and Lucy cry.
"GRAY'S A JERK! *sneezes*", Erza firmly stated.
"Yah! I total jerk! He should have cared for your feelings at least for respect!", Lucy demanded.
"Thank you guys for the concern. But what's done is done.", I gently told them.
"But how about you and Levi? Does she knows?", Erza asked. Come to think of it, we haven't talked to one another for a year. No, not because I'm mad at her. She's in another country right now, still in the errand.
"We're still bestfriends. If she's happy, then I am too. I wouldn't let a boy destroy our friendship.", I answered Erza's question.
"But what will you do if she arrives at school? You know, we're classmates, Lucy and I, you, Gray and Levi. You'll see them…you know, all lovey-dovey. What will you do?", Lucy awkwardly ask. It's a good thing she asked that because I've been thinking about that also.
"I don't know. Maybe just act normal. Act like I don't care anymore. If I lose control, blast her a wave of water, please tell her I'm sorry.", Then the two of them stared intently at me. "No, I'm just kidding. Honestly, I don't know."
"Well, we'll know the answer for sure. Speaking of the devil. Look who's coming.", and Erza glanced to the direction where a young blue-haired girl is approaching.
It's Levi.
"JUVIA! I MISS YOU A LOT!", upon seeing me, she ran really fast and drove right at me, with a hug.
I don't know what to say or what to do! O_O I'm not yet ready for this. Lucy and Erza seems worried and concern about me. And Levy is holding me very tight. WHAT WILL I DO?!
After a couple of seconds, my emotions ran out of control…and my vision went black….
I regretted what happened next…
OMG! What did really happen?! Did she blasted Levi with a wave of water? Find out in the next chapter! :D
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