One Week of Wonder

9. Mabel's in a Jam

(August 25, 2015)

Part 6: Got to be a Morning After

Mabel felt something warm and damp on her cheek. "Stop it, Waddles!" she murmured. "You only get a lick after I finish eating." Then something dimly broke through the fog she felt she was in. "Uh, Waddles?" She opened her eyes. "Teek?"

He smiled at her. "Hi. How are you feeling?" He had been sponging her face with a warm washcloth.

"I feel fi—no, I don't," she said. Mabel had started to sit up but flopped back loosely on the bed. "Ugh! What happened to me?"

"Gnome jam," Teek said. "That was yesterday. Here, drink some water."

He'd put ice in the glass and, considerately, a flexible straw. Mabel sipped. "Yuck! My mouth tastes the way a cat litter box smells!"

"Then I'll wait to kiss you," Teek said. "Don't you remember yesterday?"

She frowned. "Um, sort of. Mushrooms? Something about mushrooms? And strawberry jam?"

"Strongberry," Teek said. "It made you Super Mabel."

"Oh . . . yeah," Mabel said, struggling to assemble the jigsaw puzzle of her memory. "I—I carried you! I picked you up and ran with you! That was fun."

"Maybe it was for you," Teek said. He took the empty glass from her, the few half-melted ice cubes rattling. "You're going to be weak for a day or two. It's OK for you to eat something now if you feel like—"

"What . . . time is it?" Mabel asked.

"Nearly nine. Wendy picked me up early this morning when she came to work. I've been sitting with you for about two and a half hours."

"Aw, Teek!" She reached for his hand. Tried to. Her own arm flopped and fell back. "What's wrong with me?"

"I told you, you overdid it," Teek said. "You were running your engine at like a hundred and eighty per cent. Now you have to rest and build up your strength again."

"I could just have some more jam," Mabel said reasonably.

"No, you couldn't," Teek told her. "First because next time it might kill you, and second because there's no more left. We got rid of it. It's meant for Gnomes, not people. You understand that, don't you?"

"I . . . yeah, I suppose," Mabel said. "Hey, stop. Where are you going?"

"I'm right here," Teek said, but he receded into the distance until everything was gray and Mabel went to sleep again.

"You sure you want me to handle this?" Wendy asked.

Dipper nodded. "I like Jeff and all, but he's a Gnome. He plays mind games with me. He really likes pretty girls, though, so he'll be more honest with you."

Wendy laughed the way Mabel did when being dismissive. "Pffft! Yeah, right. He didn't even know if I was the girl or you were!"

"Look at it from his perspective," Dipper told her. "When you're that short, all the big people look like knees." They got out of the car and he called, "Gnomes! We need to speak with Jeff! We have a gift for your people!"

They didn't hear anything, but within a minute, Jeff popped out of the foliage of an oak, about twenty feet above the ground. "We aren't selling jam today!" he called down.

Dipper nodded at Wendy. She yelled up, "We don't want any, Jeff! Matter of fact, we brought back the jars that Mabel got. We want to return them to you. And we've brought enough mushrooms for a feast!"

"Say no more!"

Jeff vanished, leaves rustled, and then he popped up on the ground near them, rubbing his hands. "Mushrooms, did you say?"

Dipper took the car keys from Wendy and popped the trunk. Inside were four grocery bags stuffed with mushrooms—all the grocer had in stock. "Here you go," he said, taking them out and setting them on the ground.

"Store mushrooms?" Jeff asked, drooling. "Who do you want killed?"

"Nobody, just the opposite," Wendy said, grinning.

Jeff nodded, looking wise. "Oh, you two want a baby! Tell you what, each of you take one little lick of Grope Jam—"

"No, no, no!" Dipper said. "Wendy means we want to save Mabel's life by giving the jam back to you Gnomes."

"Oh," Jeff said. "Sorry. Excuse me, let me send for some help with these mushrooms." He whistled shrilly, and a squirrel chattered. "Hey, Grover!" Jeff yelled, "Go find Shmebulock and tell him to bring a work crew of eight trusted men. Just tell him they gotta be guys that can control themselves. Bring them here!"

The squirrel flickered away through the treetops. Dipper said, "I'm going to sit in the car, Jeff. Wendy's got the jams. She wants to talk to you. Be nice—she's my girlfriend!"

"I'm always nice!" Jeff objected. But the moment Dipper closed the car door, he said to Wendy, "Why not try dating an older guy like me, Wendy? Might be a nice change!"

"It's a committed relationship," Wendy said. She handed Jeff a smaller bag. "Here are the jams. Check and make sure that Mabel didn't stash any. She took a couple spoonfuls of the strongberry, though."

Jeff obligingly uncorked and inspected the jars before sealing them again. "Looks like that's all she took," he said. "The other three are full, the wax layer unbroken. I'll make sure these don't fall into human hands again. Or Mabel's hands, either. Hey, if she likes Gnome products, I can arrange to get her a little jar of honey. It's plain honey, no magic ingredients or mystical powers, but it's top quality, and I can get it for her. I know a bee."

"That would be nice," Wendy said. "Maybe you can bring it to the birthday party next week."

Jeff snapped his fingers. "Of course! A birthday present! We'll bring two jars, one for Dipper and one for Mabel! Great idea." He sighed. "I'm going to miss those two when they leave for the fall and winter. It's always interesting when they're around."

"They'll be back," Wendy said. "Uh—don't want to insult you guys or anything, but how are the Gnomes set for cold weather?"

"We're fine," Jeff said. "We're almost stocked with everything we need. We've got the shallow burrows ready, just under the frost line. Worst comes to worst, if it's a really hard winter, Soos always helps us out."

"He's gonna be away for a couple of weeks after Christmas, though," Wendy said. "Uh, you know what Christmas is, don't you?"

"When humans light up the big tree in the park, sure," Jeff said. "We bring the Gnome kids to see it."

"OK, so right after that time, Soos and his family are going to be away for two weeks, but I'll be staying in the Shack to keep an eye on things. If you need anything, just come and if Soos isn't there, you can see me, all right?"

"Thank you, we will," Jeff said. "But really, since we went into the pest control and disposal business, we're doing great. Make a little money, buy some emergency rations, some heavy fabric for warm clothes, it's easier these days." He looked around. "What's keeping Shmebulock?"

The squirrel, or another one, chattered from a tree.

"Thanks!" Jeff yelled. To Wendy, he explained, "The scout says they're coming. They should be here in ten minutes. If you'd hang around until they get here, so no feral Gnomes try to hijack the mushrooms, though, that'd be great."

"Dip and I will wait. Feral Gnomes? Those are the guys who live in the deep tunnels?" Wendy asked.

"Ferals? Yeah. We all used to live underground, you know, hundreds of years back. But then we dug too deep and the Mole Men invaded. They eat Gnomes. Came close to wiping us out. We fled to the surface and took to the trees then. The civilized Gnomes are the forest clan. Of course, every year a few of them slip off to go into the tunnels, get back to nature, that kind of thing. They don't usually last very long." He smiled. "You know something, though? Last few years, more Ferals are coming up to join us than vice-versa. Their lives are still hard and dangerous. Used to be, every winter a few dozen of us civilized Gnomes would freeze or starve or get eaten by a bear or something. Since Weirdmageddon, though, that hardly ever happens. In fact, I can only remember one Gnome who got eaten by an animal in all that time. And he was eaten by a goat."

"A goat?" Wendy asked. "The one that hangs around the shack? Gompers?"

Jeff shrugged. "I'm not on a first-name basis. But a goat! Imagine! A goat eats a guy!"

"Yeah," Wendy agreed. "That's bizarre, man. Goats are herbivores."

"Oh," Jeff said. "That explains it."

"Explains what?"

Jeff said, "The guy who got eaten. His name was Herb."

After what seemed like a few minutes, Mabel opened her eyes again. "Dozed off there," she murmured. "What's that?"

"Brought you a tray," Teek said. "Two boiled eggs, whole-grain toast, ordinary plain old strawberry jam. And a glass of milk."

"I am kinda hungry," Mabel said, and he helped her sit up in bed. She fumbled with the fork.

"Here," he said. "I'll feed you."

"I'm not helpless," she complained as she slipped sideways and plopped onto the bed.

"Let me help anyhow," Teek said, pulling her back up and bracing her with a couple of pillows. "Here, open up."

One egg, half a glass of milk, and half of the toast later, Mabel began to be able to coordinate enough to finish eating by herself. "Man, that stuff really messed me up!" she said. "I'd better hurry and take my shower and get to work."

"What time do you think it is?" Teek asked.

"I don't know, nine-thirty, ten?"

He laughed and gently wiped some runny yolk from her chin with a napkin. "It's five in the afternoon. You slept all day."

She gave him a pop-eyed look of astonishment. "Yikes!"

"It's OK, you needed it," Teek said.

"Uh—I hate to be that girl, but I kinda gotta go to the bathroom," Mabel said, squirming.

"I'll help you up."

He did, and Mabel found she could not only stand, but holding onto him, walk—well, shuffle—across the hall to the downstairs bathroom. Soos had equipped it with grab bars just in case Abuelita needed them (she didn't), and using them, Mabel took care of business herself. But she was happy when Teek helped her out, put an arm around her waist, and walked her back to her bedroom.

She lay down, gasping. "I hope I snap back soon!"

He sat on the edge of the bed. "You will. You always do. You're Mabel Pines!"

"Yeah . . .." she gave him an oddly shy smile. "Uh, I seem to remember—you saying something that we said we weren't ready to say. Did you?"

He smiled. "I love you, Mabel Pines," Teek said. "Yeah. I did. I do." He took her hand. "You scared the crap out of me yesterday—by slinging me over your shoulder and running around, challenging Grenda to an arm wrestling match—"

"I did what?"

"You won, too," Teek said. "Grenda and Candy are coming over this evening. Grenda will tell you. Anyway, yeah, you terrified me. But then I realized what scared me most was the fear that I might—lose you. And that made me realize that I love you."

She squeezed his hand. "That—it really, and I never—oh, Teek! Uh—kiss me?"

He did, on the cheek. "You'll have to brush your teeth before we do anything more exciting," he said. "That jam reeks!"

She smiled uncertainly. She whispered, "Teek? You won't be mad?"

"At you? No, I couldn't be."

"Umm . . . I'm gonna say it. Teek—I'm not ready to tell you I love you yet. I don't mean to hurt you! I like you so much! But—it's just that—I have to be sure, Teek. Are you mad?"

"No, not at all," he said. "You're worth waiting for. But I do love you. Until you're sure, I'll settle for your liking me."

"A whole lot," Mabel insisted.

"A whole lot, then. Sounds like you're pretty close."

"Yeah. I—oh, damn it!"

Teek laughed in a shocked way. "Mabel!"

"Hey, I'm almost sixteen, OK? Sometimes it's hard not to swear. Look, I want to be in love with you, Teek! I'm pretty close. I feel something with you I've never felt with any other guy. I think I'll get there. Will you be patient with me?"

"You know it," he said.

"I mean, I know I can be random and goofy and I have mood swings and all that crap. It must be hard to put up with me sometimes. The thing is—I don't want to hurt you. So just ride it out, OK? We'll be back next summer, if not before. Maybe by then it'll all be straight in my head."

"In your heart," Teek said.

"That, too. I really want a kiss."

He stood up. "Bathroom's that way. Toothpaste and mouthwash are in the medicine cabinet. You do that for me, I'll kiss you hard enough to knock your socks off."

She giggled. "I'm not wearing socks."

"Then I'll try for something else," he said, and then turned red.

That made her laugh. Teek wasn't all that good with teasing innuendo, but he made up for it with his expertise at kissing. Mabel let him help her get out of bed and this time she walked on her own. A little shaky, but she walked unaided.

She saw Wendy and Dipper in the hall, and when they asked how she felt, she said, "I'm a lot better. I do want to talk to you both, soon as I brush my teeth and take a shower. But first, before that—I've got something I gotta do with Teek!"

Wendy looked knowing, Dipper a little apprehensive. But they didn't ask questions or say anything to discourage her.

I'm lucky to have this family, Mabel thought.

So, she went and brushed her teeth and freshened up, and before joining her brother, Wendy, Grenda, Candy, and the Ramirez family for dinner—she and Teek sat side by side and furthered their understanding.