They did not see Nero the next day, or the day after. Veld had anticipated the kid would disappear for a good twenty-four to forty-eight hours. He was an adult, a trained SOLDIER, and had a better idea of how the surface worked than he'd had when they'd first found him. Veld would have been lying if he'd said he wasn't worried about the kid, but he didn't share Vincent's distracted concern. It was no good sending a search party out for Nero. Even Vincent would never find him. Instead, they did their best to begin searching for his family without him.
It was curiously hard to focus on the day's work before the meeting with Tseng. Veld caught himself thinking about Nero, about Elfe, and how he'd manage to trip over himself twice regarding the same damned thing. He might lecture Vincent about expecting too much, about pushing too hard, but had he been any better? Caring for an adult child who hated him yet needed him, and hated him all the more because of it, had been one thing. Nero didn't hate either of them, so far as Veld knew, but like Elfe, Nero needed help even if he didn't want it.
"It's no good going forward without Nero," Shelke said the moment they sat down. Reeve blinked and turned to Veld and Vincent.
"He needed some time to himself," Veld said calmly. Vincent opened his mouth, received a swift kick to the ankle from Veld, and closed it again.
"I'm sure we could make a good start with what you know," Reeve said encouragingly.
Shelke wilted a bit where she sat. "Well, I'll try, but my knowledge is limited. Nero had the run of the place. Because of his shadows, he knows Deepground better than even the Restrictors knew it. I'll tell you what I can, but I doubt it'll be anything you don't already know."
Pulling out the schematics of Deepground's layout, Reeve spread them across the table top.
"Try us," he challenged gently.
Shelke's information was helpful in that what she knew proved the blueprints were old, and either the spaces had never served the functions they had been built for, or had been repurposed since their construction. The schematics were covered with red and green marker by the time the meeting was over, but she had been right. It didn't actually help much.
"Nero's been down there," Vincent commented. "So have I, but I'm nowhere near as good as he is at shadows. If I hadn't…"
Veld shot him a look and Vincent fell silent.
"Is there something you'd like to share?" Reeve asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Don't worry about it," Veld assured him.
"Well, if that's all, I'd better get going," Reeve said, gathering up the plans. "If you'll excuse me."
Veld offered him a casual salute as Reeve exited. Shelke remained in her seat and gave the two of them a look.
"Okay, what happened?"
On one hand, they could probably use Shelke's help. She might know of a hiding place Nero had gone to, somewhere Vincent might be able to access. On the other, it meant outing themselves as the bone-headed idiots they were.
"Nero wanted to keep a pet," Vincent blurted. "I said he could, but I kind of forgot to run it past Veld. It...escalated from there."
"What do you mean 'escalated'?" Shelke asked, sounding alarmed.
"Nero ran off," Veld said flatly. The longer he thought about it, the more he blamed himself in the matter. It was easy to forget- even with the mask and the mako suit- that Nero had not lived his whole life in the sun, and that even the most basic subtleties of daily life were completely alien to him. "I shouted at him and I wish I hadn't."
Shelke winced. "Yeah, he's sensitive that way."
"Has he contacted you?" Vincent asked, a note of desperation in his voice. "Have you heard from him?"
She shook her head. "Sorry, no. I don't think he knows where I live. If he did, I'm sure it would have been the first place he popped up. I know he had a cave he liked to hide in, though I've never been there."
"I tried that already," Vincent said miserably. "He's probably avoiding it, since he knows I can get there."
"Probably," Shelke agreed. "Is there anywhere up here he might go to hide?"
Veld looked up, inspiration sparking his brain. "Actually, I might have an idea."
"Max?"
Max nearly jumped out of her skin. It was late, she was the only one left in the lab. The project had taken a bit longer than anticipated, and then she'd gotten wrapped up in fine tuning it. The voice in the empty lab had caught her by surprise, but she calmed at the sight of two golden eyes staring at her from a dark corner.
"Oh! Hey Nero."
Nero stepped from the shadows and crossed the floor to her in only a few long strides.
"Hey Max," he said, a smile behind his mask. She was on the point of asking "how are you?" but it seemed like a stupid question. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days. Darker shadows than usual ringed his eyes, and his shoulders sagged.
"What's the matter? You look exhausted. And sad." She came as close as he ever let her, but didn't try to hug him or pat his arm; he was twitchier than Vincent about personal contact.
He shook his head. "Nothing." A pause. "I...it's a long story." He fidgeted awkwardly where he stood, apparently out of things to say. "I'm sorry. This was a stupid idea. I should go."
"Nero, wait a second." Max flicked switches, shutting down the equipment she'd been using, shoved her notebook into her backpack, and turned back to Nero. "Come with me, okay? Just for a few minutes."
"Okay," he agreed, falling into step with her.
She led him to the elevator, down to the ground floor and out the front doors. "Come on, I live right around the corner."
Her apartment was in a tall, narrow brick building, up three flights of stairs. Max unlocked the door and gently nudged Nero ahead of her. "Go on in."
She tossed her backpack onto a chair. "You want something to drink? I've got tea and coffee."
"I...yeah," he admitted. "I'm...kinda hungry." He looked away, as if ashamed to admit it. Rather than meet her eyes, he studied the carpet, the walls, the personal items she'd used to decorate. "You have a nice house."
"Thanks." She rummaged in the tiny refrigerator, pulling out a small foil pan covered in plastic wrap. "Got some leftover meatloaf. Eat it, it'll be one less thing in the fridge."
Passing him the pan, she found a fork and a couple of paper napkins, gave them to him, and then got two bottles of iced tea, and plopped herself onto the couch. She could wait until he'd eaten to find out what was wrong.
"Thanks," the word came out almost guilty, as if he were sorry she had to bear witness to him eating. Obediently, Nero ate, polishing off the entire pan in less time than she would have thought possible.
"Thank you," he repeated once he'd finished. "That was really good."
"No prob." She handed him a bottle of tea, and took a swig of her own. "What's up? Veld out of town or something?" If the poor kid had to eat Valentine's cooking, it was no wonder he was hungry.
"No, I… I left," he mumbled, studying the finish of the coffee table. "I just want to find Weiss and Rosso and go home, but I couldn't do that if I was spending all my time learning how to fit in up here."
He took an experimental sip of tea. "So...I left. I've been hunting for them all week."
Max took a moment to process that. She hadn't talked to either Vincent or Veld recently. Knowing them, they wouldn't have said a word about Nero leaving, the jerks.
"Okay," she said slowly, "I get that. I thought the WRO was going to help with that, but no one's said anything about going down there. You shouldn't have to do it all by yourself. I know you're a SOLDIER and all, but it's gotta be dangerous. And it's huge, isn't it? How are you going to do this alone?"
"That is the problem," he agreed. "The WRO won't get around to searching for weeks if not months. They're waiting to find a safe way in from the top, and that'll never happen. I'm the only one who can get down there from any other entry point. Except I'm only one person, and I can only cover so much territory. Deepground covers just as much square footage as Midgar just in surface area, but it goes down as far as the old Shinra tower went up."
His suit had two pockets on the thighs like a pair of cargo pants, and he reached into one, pulling out the PHS he'd been given. Poking at it, Nero brought up a photo of a hand-drawn map.
"Most of the stuff near the surface is all machinery; vehicles, automotive, stuff that doesn't matter so much if it's damaged or discovered. All the important stuff- troops, Mothers, experiments, that's all down near the bottom. The WRO would start from the top down, and even if they could get in, it'd take ages to dig their way down to anything that matters."
He enlarged the image so Max could make sense of the homemade blueprint.
"That's the old main hall, most of it is gone now since Reactor Zero blew up."
Max had been wondering about the scribbles in red pen. Nero pushed the image over a bit.
"That's where the barracks are," Nero went on. "Our room is in there. Problem is, it's underneath an area that got hit pretty hard. There's a lot of damage; places where the ceiling's fallen in and stuff. I can really only shadow into spaces I've been before. If the geography's altered, it makes it not only hard, but risky."
"Well, I was gonna offer to help, but…" Max peered more closely at the map. "Yeah, no. One more person wouldn't make any difference. You need the WRO troops to get in there."
At the look on Nero's face, she took the PHS from him and set it on the table. "Nero, I don't want to be nosy, but Veld and Vincent really care about you. They want to help. And Reeve will want to help, too. I don't know him as well, but he's the whole reason the WRO exists. He can move mountains when he needs to. You need to get together with all of them and plan this, and do it right. Okay?"
"I'll help if they want me to," Nero agreed miserably, "I just don't think they will. Veld and Vincent...they've been awesome but…" Nero trailed off and looked away.
"They won't help me. I couldn't follow all the surface rules. I told them as much. I may have shouted. There was...kind of a lot of shouting."
There was a long and uncomfortable pause before Nero looked up. "I'm not cut out for this, Max. I'm not any good at this. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I don't belong up here."
Max shook her head. Damn, and people said women were too emotional. "I get it, hon. They're not family. At least not yet. As for the rules, well...screw that. You be you, okay? You need a place to stay?"
"I've been sleeping in the cave," he began. "The only thing is, Vincent knows how to get there. I don't want to talk to him right now."
Vincent might know how to get to the mako cave, but it was highly unlikely he would think to look in Max's apartment. Nero was a SOLDIER, built to function at full capacity on little food and less sleep. That didn't make it pleasant.
"I should keep looking," Nero said, hauling himself to his feet. It took far more effort than it ought to.
"Why don't you stay here tonight? Just to sleep," Max added, to be clear. They were friends; she didn't know if it was going to turn into anything else, and only a bitch would take advantage of a guy who was obviously hurting. "You can sleep here on the sofa, or if you want to, you can stay with me. I trust you, and I promise not to make any demands. It's got to be better than the cave, as pretty as it is."
Nero nodded, the look on his face painfully grateful. "Thank you. If...if it's not too much trouble, could I stay with you? I'm not use to sleeping by myself. I won't do anything, I swear." He wouldn't have anyway. The idea of warping Max somewhere strange and inconvenient- or worse still, as distant and unreachable as the place he'd warped his mother- was enough to deter any misguided romantic fancies.
"Sure, babe. You're skinny enough, you'll fit right next to me." Max grinned to show she was joking. "I wouldn't mind the company. It gets cold in there this time of year, and we're trying to save on the heat bill."
"I don't know how much help I'll be. Azul says I'm cold-blooded."
"Well, two bodies are warmer than one, usually." Max didn't point out that 'cold-blooded' could mean his emotional distance from others. She didn't know Azul, but she knew Nero, at least a little. He had a good heart.
"I know you've got to leave the mako suit on," she said, opening the bedroom door. "I don't mind. And we've got lots of blankets, so, um…" Not wanting to embarrass him, she pointed out the bathroom door nearby. "There's the bathroom. I'm gonna shower, okay? If you hear somebody come in, it's my roommate, Dalton. He's cool."
"Um okay," Nero agreed. "Is it okay if I watch TV?"
"Sure. Just not too loud. Don't wanna bother the neighbors." Max winked, and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door.
No sooner had she closed the door, than the unmistakable jingle of the cartoon channel started up. Nero was fascinated by children's programs for reasons Max could not define. She supposed if she'd grown up in hell, she might find talking animals and song-and-dance routines mesmerising as well. As predicted, when she emerged, he was planted in front of the TV, staring intently a cartoon short she could have recited by heart.
"You really like those, huh?"
"It's just so pretty," Nero breathed. "I know it's pretend, but it had to come from somewhere, right?"
"Well, someone's imagination," said Max. She'd changed into thin sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt. It worked for sleepwear, and shouldn't give Nero any ideas. She wasn't worried, but he'd seemed anxious to assure her that he wouldn't make a pass at her.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something move. She turned to look.
It was short, round-headed, and solid black, but for two bright yellow eyes, with two antennae waving at the top of its head. If it was an insect, it was the biggest one she'd ever seen, about the size of a small child. Funny she'd never seen one before, but then, Nero had never been to her apartment until now.
"Um, Nero? What's that?" She pointed at the...thing.
A noise- half amused, half exasperated- buzzed through Nero's mask. "Ned! You were supposed to go home. Why'd you follow me?"
As if beckoned, Ned scurried across the carpet and happily plopped onto Nero's lap.
"Kiss-up," Nero said fondly, scratching at Ned's antennae as if he were a dog. "You got me in trouble once already." Remembering Max's question, he picked up the creature, and turned him to face her. "This's Ned. He's a shadow creature. Say 'hi', Ned."
Ned, obligingly, lifted a hand-like forepaw and waved.
"Aww!" Max approached, reaching out to touch Ned's antennae, and stroked a hand over his head. "Hey, he's pretty cute! He lives with you? That's cool!"
Sitting down next to Nero, she grinned at Ned. "Adorable. How'd he get you in trouble?"
"Oh. Well. Um. He's...kind of what the shouting was about. Among other things," Nero mumbled guiltily. "I asked Vincent and he said it was okay if Ned came into the house. Veld...disagreed. And we kind of ended up yelling." He shuddered. "I haven't talked back to a CO since I was like...three." Hunching in on himself, he hugged Ned close.
"Sounds grim." Thinking, Max said nothing for a minute. "You're working with the Turks now, right? Tseng's your CO, not Veld. I know he tends to project that old Chief vibe, but...he's not. And I can't even imagine Vincent yelling. Do you want me to talk to them? Maybe sort of knock some sense into 'em both?"
"Gods no!" the terror in his eyes was real and horrible. "No. No it's...it's better this way. They don't want to deal with me anymore. It's fine, really. I just want to find Weiss and Rosso and go home. I can't do that if I spend all my time trying to become like them. Like you."
"Okay." There was obviously more going on than was apparent from what he'd told her. She'd known Veld since she was nine. Despite his profession, she'd never known him to be violent toward his friends or family. She didn't think Veld, or Vincent, had been rough with Nero, so why was he so scared? Something didn't add up.
Making a mental note to talk to either Veld or Vincent, quietly, Max patted Ned again. "So what are you going to do? You admitted that Deepground's too big for you to search alone. I know Reeve would help, if you ask him, but...no?"
The fear had not left his eyes, but now there was sadness there as well. "Max, it's been weeks. Almost months. Even a SOLDIER can only last so long. They're both bigger, stronger, tougher than me. They're together. They have each other. I want to believe they're fine, but if they were...wouldn't they have found me by now?"
"Good point. But on the other hand, if there's other people still down there, maybe your sibs are taking care of them? If they're as strong as you say, wouldn't they try to help the other survivors? Maybe they're working on a way to get out right now."
"I guess maybe," Nero said slowly. "If the Restrictors are dead. Maybe." He didn't sound convinced, but he unclenched a little. Ned hopped up and scurried over to sit in Max's lap instead.
"I can't go back," Nero said, almost more to himself than to her. "I left. I can't go back. I can't be what they want me to be. I can't be Vincent's best friend. I can't be Veld's...I don't even know what. I'm really bad at pants and doors and boundaries and...everything," he finished despairingly.
With a heavy sigh, he turned to look at the still droning television. Little cartoon moogles were skipping in a ring around a toadstool.
"When Azul talked about the surface...I thought it would be like that. Everyone happy, everyone smiling. No blood, no cold, no reason to constantly watch your back or sleep with one eye open. I guess it was stupid but I thought it would be perfect, that everything would be better. Except…" he trailed off, letting the words hang unsaid. Except it isn't.
"I'm so sorry, babe," said Max, leaning sideways until their shoulders touched. "Sometimes life really sucks, I know. Bad stuff happens up here, too. People die. They lie and cheat and steal, and do worse things, too. I wish I had something better to tell you. I wish I could find your sibs and fix Deepground for you."
Privately, she doubted Deepground could be fixed, or should be. Even if Nero's brother and sister turned up alive, how could they go back to living there? Reeve would never allow Deepground to be recreated.
She wanted to put her arms around him, but that didn't seem wise, knowing how easily he flinched when someone touched him. She stayed where she was, in his space but, she hoped, not so much that he'd get even more upset. She shifted Ned from her lap to Nero's.
"Maybe we should get some sleep," she suggested. "My mom always says things will look better in the morning, when you've got a clear head."
"Okay," he agreed, gently dumping Ned into his own shadow. Almost shyly, he leaned up against her shoulder for the space of a heartbeat before standing. "Thanks."
"No problem."
She put the empty pan and the bottles into the sink, turning off the TV and most of the lights, leaving one dim light on for whenever her roommate got home.
"Jump in," she told Nero, nodding at the bed. "I have to be up at six, I hope the alarm doesn't bother you."
"It'll be fine," Nero assured her, sliding more than hopping into place. He didn't bother to draw back the covers, just laid down on top of the comforter. "Fluffy," he remarked.
Max snickered. "Get under the blanket, silly. It's okay." She climbed in herself, holding up the other side of the comforter for him. "Come on. It's warmer that way. We can sleep back to back so you're not, y'know, overcome by lust or whatever."
"I...what?" Nero faltered, pausing in the act of pulling the blankets over himself. "Why would I start perving on you? We're just sleeping." A pause. "Is this another surface thing?"
"It was a joke. Sorry, I didn't mean to be creepy." Max clicked off the bedside lamp. "Oh, you better tell Ned not to go out in the living room, or Dalton's room. I don't want to freak him out. He wouldn't care, once he knew what Ned is, but in the middle of the night it might be a little weird."
"He'll stay in here," Nero said rather too forcefully, perhaps for Ned's benefit. Rooms. Doors. Everyone sure liked their space up here. Then again, he had the cave. It wasn't so different, really.
"Oh, crap, sorry. I didn't mean to refer to the mess with Vin and Veld. I should probably shut up now." Max sighed. She had just gotten a glimpse of the difficulties Vincent and Veld experienced, trying to communicate with Nero. Right now her sympathy was mostly with him, but she could see where things might have gone south with two fussy old men, set in their ways.
"Good night, Nero. Trust me, it will work out, okay?" Maybe that was unwarranted optimism, but wasn't that better than being convinced that things were going to get worse?
Nero's eyes shone in the darkness with the infamous SOLDIER glow, twin lamps in the darkness, a pair of fireflies gone astray. For a moment he fixed her in that luminous stare.
"I do trust you," he said softly, a curious weight to the words. "G'night."
The glow winked out as Nero closed his eyes, plunging them into complete darkness. Max heard the bedclothes rustle, felt the mattress slant as he shifted, evidently trying to get comfortable. Despite her suggestion that they sleep back-to-back, when she went to resettle, her arm immediately bumped into his. He wasn't actually touching her, but had aligned himself as close as he could without making physical contact.
He had said he wasn't using to sleeping alone. He'd lost the only home he'd ever known, left Vin and Veld's house, and all he had now was a cave and one companion made of shadow.
The heck with it, Max thought. She slid over a little closer. "I'm cold," she said. "Is it okay if I snuggle?"
"Um, sure."
Nero leaned a bit, closing the gap between them. The arm he looped around her was cold, but not icy, probably from the flow of dark mako inside his suit.
"There we go." Max tucked her head into the curve of his shoulder. "Much better. See you in the morning."
Nero did not respond. He was already asleep.