A/N – Hello again! I know I sound like I am on repeat (or it could just be that I am suffering from a sugar rush) but I just want to extend my thanks to everyone, once again, for sticking with this story (and for your reviews).
And a **BIG** thanks to my chum Jezikial for checking through this chapter for me before posting; you're a star! She's now my beta-reader, not that she knows it yet… *grins*
Okay, I'll shut up now! Happy Reading!
Chapter 76 – Time
Reuben's POV
Everything is a game to you, isn't it Reuben? Always one for the dramatics... no wonder you're alone…
Perhaps I like being alone? Perhaps I like playing games for my own amusement...
Really? Because one day, Reuben, your games will backfire on you... and it won't be quite so much fun when that happens…
I admire you Reuben, don't listen to that voice... always trying to be the one in control, it's jealous of you Reuben, it envies your ability, it always has…How can I envy someone who is already me?
Stop it... both of you... I am the voice of reason, I am Reuben, and I will play whatever game appeals to me.
So you think she'll come and play with you, Reuben? You honestly think the Cullen's will let her out of their sights for a moment? Because if you do, you are deviating from the fact... you are incorrect in your actions, judgement, and opinion... even method Reuben... so very, very wrong...
You are defective and mistaken, not I... Bella will come to me, because she is curious... all newborns are curious, it's in their very nature to be inquisitive... she'll have questions...
Questions she can ask the Cullen's...
Questions she should be asking you Reuben, you know so much more than they do...
I know I do! She'll soon tire of them, all of them. Like me she will tire of Alice and her bizarre ways...
Bizarre? You think Alice is Bizarre?
Of course she is! Look where Reuben found her! A mental asylum...Stop it, both of you...this isn't about Alice anymore, it's about Bella... like me she will thirst for human blood... like me she will crave it... of course she will come and find me, I am the only one who will understand her ache and her thirst for blood. The lust, the need, the desire... only I can understand her hunger... not the Cullen's... not her father, not the wolf pack... just me...
And what about Jake, Reuben? You haven't forgotten he can sense your presence, have you?
Always questions... when will you start to trust Reuben? Of course he hasn't forgotten...I never forget... and I know what I need to do... but Jake can wait. He is insignificant...
Insignificant? A shapeshifter, with the ability to transform into a wolf… and you think he is insignificant?
Reuben is correct, Jake is unimportant. He is of no consequence to us…
No consequence? Have you heard yourself? You honestly believe a wolf… no, make that a pack of wolves, are without weight? Are meaningless?
I never said he was without weight, but he is nondescript and his presence is irrelevant, because I will soon extinguish his light like I have done to so many others…
Exactly how do you intend to do that, Reuben?
Questions, questions, questions…
Jake is negligible… I gave him the chance to leave… I won't be giving him another… but Bella is my priority now…
Of course she is!
Reuben, you can still leave… leave this world behind you and move on… Bella may be your prerogative, but she is also Alice's…
I don't care about Alice Cullen… and I am not leaving…
Why would you even suggest such a thing? You left once before… you won't ever leave like that again…
You think I am intimidated by your thoughts? Why would I leave now that Bella is a vampire? Why would I leave my soul mate?
You think Bella is your soul mate? Tut tut Reuben… it wasn't that long ago you thought the same about Alice, and look what happened there…
That was different; Alice was weak when Reuben turned her… so very weak… Bella is strong… Bella belongs to us, she belongs to us all…
And what about before Alice, Reuben? What about Anne…
Stop it… I refuse to think of her, of then...
Why Reuben?
Because I was human then…a pathetic and weak human…
Because you loved her, and she left you… they all leave you Reuben…
Neither were worthy of your love, Reuben…
It's still not too late to embrace the light Reuben, move away from here while you still can…
I walk in the darkness save what little light the moon does give, I walk under the inky, jet clouds that resemble funeral shrouds…
Death of many…
Salvation of none…
You're falling deeper and deeper into the abyss Reuben…
You think I like it here? You think I was ever given a choice? My cheeks were once crimson, my breath was once steady, and my heart was once strong but look at me now! My eyes are dim with pensive gloom, you think I wanted that? Do you honestly think I wanted to be dragged and locked in a silent, never-ending tomb?
Reuben, Reuben… you are the night, and nothing can stop you, or us. There may have been a time when you embraced the day, the light, humanity… but that was before you were resurrected… before you became who you were destined to be. The light was always so glaring and burning… now you can hide in the shadows until it is time…
And when will it be time, Reuben? When will you stop playing these games? You need to let go of all this anger, your life is out of balance…
Ignore him, Reuben. He knows nothing of what he speaks.
Take note Reuben, your anger is a mask for hurt, and for feelings of abandonment… you need to understand that you feel angry because you feel as though no one is listening, because it seems that no one actually sees you… because you have no one to turn to…
Well, I listen Reuben… now you need to listen to me…
Why? Why does he have to listen to you? The voice that is never silent, the voice from his past, the voice that torments him…
Stop it, please…. I can't control you, either of you… I need…
You need to embrace your compassion, Reuben. I am your compassion and one day you will listen to me…
You have a deep, intangible façade,
One not many can invade.
Securing you, a walled defence,
Surrounds you like a picket fence.
Sanctuary, your safe enclosure,
Saves you from inapt exposure.
Concealing me and what I know,
Obscuring eyes a veiled shadow.
Mixed emotions, helter-skelter,
Rush around your darkest shelter.
Provoking thoughts make you tremble,
Without my thoughts, you'd disassemble.
I long to be, and long to feel,
Yet I find you still conceal.
You hide away from close inspection,
Sincerity and true perfection.
Constantly, I sit and muse,
My random thoughts invade, confuse.
Craving answers, intuition,
Deep inside, a supposition.
Comprehension locked inside,
Contemplation is my guide.
Perhaps one day I will endeavour,
To break you down, to cut and sever.
Till that day, I'll dream illusion,
Imagination! Such delusion.
Incubus, where I can see,
The person you're destined to be…
I know who I am destined to be and I'll strop playing these games when I am ready…
I live in agitation land
Slowly watching grains of sand
Tiny pieces leisurely fall
Is the writing on the wall
Stop the sands; set them free
Is this any guarantee
Turn the timer; simply wait
Bella Swan, this is your fate…
Bella Swan, I am your fate.