Summary: The war between Jotunheim and Asgard draws to a close, but thanks to a horrible twist of Fate (or perhaps not), the nameless runt of Laufey-King is not discovered by Odin and so begins a remarkable journey of life that should not have been. Jotun!Loki AU. Set pre-/during-/after Thor/Avengers Assemble. MCU-verse only.
Warnings: ANGST! Loki-whump! Language, adult situations, violence, child abuse, dub-con, sexual assault (also of a minor), substance abuse, one abortion scene (sort of), slavery, sex trade (maybe), some mild original character/Loki M/M pairings. Also F/M pairings.
Comments: This is not a slash fic. Sorry. It's Loki-centric, although I definitely show the rest of the Avengers and etc. Please review! Constructive criticism welcome.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avengers. Marvel owns it. I do not get paid for this piece of work. Sadly, but understandably. LOL.
Inspirational Music: Assassin's Creed OST, The Village OST, Machinarium OST, Enigma, Monument Valley OST
Thanks to all reviewers who are so patient and encouraging in their comments towards myself. There are times when I wonder what I was thinking, starting this - and I get frustrated with myself, since I know that I have deviated with the story, adding details and chapters here and there which have lengthened the whole thing abominably... but I hope you guys can hang in there, because the Avengers is coming! We are getting to the part wherein Loki is almost an Avenger but not quite. LOL
Thanks to: Guests, Sophia, Elizabeth, wbss21, jai parker, leeanne noack, InsolentKatt, vincent1875, Basia Orci, zippy zany, vonhinten
I hope you guys will enjoy the Thor emo and what he's working through! Please review after with questions/comments - it's a great encouragement to me~!
Distortions In Time
Chapter 78
The Truth
What I truly am. The truth I never wished you to face.
The words replayed over and over in Thor's head as he stared back at the creature, the being before him, the one he had known as Loki. It is Loki, he repeated to himself mentally, it is Loki. Just Loki.
That was the truth after all. Loki was Jotunn.
A Jotun. He remembered the long, bloody tales told him by Guardsman Eriksson before the old warrior fell in battle against a dread beast on Vanaheim. Long, bloody tales of horrific atrocities, how the Jotunn killed their own, their weak, how they had laid waste to Midgard, how they had turned their backs and fled like the cowards they had been to Jotunheim. He remembered the long lectures given him by his tutors on the various Realms. Always interested in battle and the chance to be like All-Father himself, Thor had always listened with fascination to what the Asgardians had learned over the years of war concerning the Jotunn. How they worshiped their ancestors, invisible beings and prayed to earth, sacrificing even their children to the Void if need be.
Mother. Mother, he now recalled, had disapproved. Odin and Frigga had fought and Thor was swiftly ushered from his angry, arguing parents – Odin, loud and rough, and Frigga, soft but insistent.
"-It may be truth but only half of it-" The door was then shut and their words were muffled. He could hear one of his books being thrown down on the table heavily. "Old wives' tales! I would not have my son be raised on a lie."
Thor had not understood then. He understood now. Or rather, he didn't – but he did.
He was finding it hard to breath.
Placing his hands on his knees, Thor inhaled and exhaled carefully as his doctor had taught him. Under stress, she had said, you can gain clarity when you take a moment, take a deep breath – in – out – in-
Loki was small for a Jotun. Jotun were giants; everyone knew that – so this was... unexpected. A runt? Runts were often killed at birth-
In – out – in – out-
When he had first met Loki, the slave known as Kol'la had not understood the idea of familial loyalty, hand not understood what it meant to have friends... Perhaps that was not merely his experiences as a slave which had formed him so, Thor thought disjointedly, perhaps he survived an attempt on his life and was abandoned as a babe and grew without his family and so was stolen -
In – out – in-
Why had he not told me? Thor wondered and then paused as another small voice within him, the one which sounded more like Frigga replied, 'You know why'.
In – out-
Loki was not speaking. Neither was he. He was supposed to be talking. He was supposed to be finding out what had gone wrong. Had he been captured in the war with the Jotunn and tortured? Had he betrayed Asgard and Odin had exiled his adopted second son?
The House of Odin is full of traitors.
That was what Laufey of Jotunheim had said.
For a moment, Thor's vision blanked out and all he saw was red.
In-
He felt sick.
Getting to his feet blindly, Thor looked down at his brother, at his not-brother, at the one who had called himself brother and perhaps was not, or perhaps he was... It was getting too hard to think.
He looked down at his brother but his vision, blurred and disjointed, would not allow him focus. Barely meeting those strange, those blank crimson eyes, Thor nodded, mumbled something, made his way to the door, fumbled at the strange knob and fled.
He did not look back.
-0-0-0-
"Thor – Thor."
Coulson, careful not to touch his obviously tense employee, could barely match Thor's stride as the ex-god made his way out of the second room and into the hall. Thor's unseeing blue eyes looked a little lost and oddly blank. It looked strange on man who normally showed his emotion, but at the moment, Thor looked as though he were holding back a torrent of emotion – just barely. It reminded the SHIELD agent of the still figure in the white room the ex-god had just left.
As if on autopilot, unstoppable, Thor made his way out of the building and sagged against the building wall, drawing in deep, ragged breaths as though he had been suffocating.
"Thor, you alright?" Coulson asked.
He knew the answer. Thor is not alright, but these questions, the experienced field agent knew, have to be asked. Otherwise they just stew and try to carry their burdens alone...
"Coulson," Thor blinked down at the man by his side as though noticing him for the first time.
What else had he been seeing? Coulson wondered.
"Hey, what – what happened?"
"What happened?" Thor asked and then looked away, tensing up again as memory washed over him again.
"In there... you guys... Wasn't that Loki?"
"Yes. Yes," Thor finally said. "That was... Loki." Then he added in a quiet voice and his blue eyes, meeting Coulson's, were full of anger, confusion and fear. "But not the Loki I knew."
Coulson nodded slowly, trying to sort out the implications of Thor's words. Was the guest-captive a fake? Or had he switched sides? Was Loki brainwashed? He frowned as he processed Thor's words.
"Not the Loki you knew?"
"Loki is Jotunn."
"Ahhh..." Coulson paused, noticed his phone was vibrating, ignored it and continued. "Those would be the rivals of Asgard?"
"Yes. Rivals. That is... one way to call them," Thor shook his head. "Mother never – she never agreed with what my tutors and friends and what the guards in the palace and the soldiers told me. Old wives' tales, she said."
"OK."
"Now I see why..."
"She might have been right."
"Mother is often right." A pause. "And yet..."
Thor turned and punched the wall behind him two times. Coulson made a mental note to have his agent's hand looked at. And the slightly damaged brick as well.
"They must have known."
"Who?"
"Mother and Father." Thor paused and reiterated, voice hard. "They surely must have known."
"You will have to ask Loki that." Coulson sighed at the angry look on Thor's face. "Or I can do it."
"She was always... soft on him. Mother had a special place in her heart for Loki. I knew that, accepted that, but what if it was because... of what he was?"
The two men stared out at the almost empty car park before them, lit only by the lights. Overhead, the night sky scudded with thick clouds promising more rain. April showers bring May flowers, Coulson mused.
[...in the silences...]
[...you can hear...]
[...it is the truth...]
[...of all things...]
"I thought it was the fact that I was never as... skilled as she was in magick. Loki was the magickal child she had always wanted. And Loki had never had a mother. She wished to be the mother he had never had..." Thor leaned back against the wall again, ignoring the blood on his hand. "Perhaps she knew and wished to shelter him. They knew."
"Hm."
"It explains much." Thor shook his head. "So much."
Loki's inability to deal with Asgard's sun. His penchant for ice and fire magicks. His love of chilled food. His wild emotions which on rare occasions flared and ran wild. Mother had sent Loki the mint ices and had campaigned for Loki's acceptance into the Academy... Somehow, she must have known... but how?
"I'll have someone take you back to your rooms," Coulson broke the silence and, glancing over at Thor, he gave the quiet ex-god a reassuring, small smile. "We'll work it out another way."
"I just..." Thor gestured lamely and looked away. "I just need time."
Coulson just nodded and after a moment walked away, talking quickly and in a low voice on his phone no doubt to one of his superiors, Director Fury more than likely. Or one of his numerous agents at his beck and call. I am only one cog in a very large, well-oiled machine, he knew. Loki, for better or for worse, has become another.
Loki. That brought on a whole new slew of emotions and thoughts – and when Thor raised his head the next time, it was to find that a quiet young man in a dark suit and accompanying dark car had come to take him to some rooms already set aside for him. Coulson was nowhere to be seen, but his words hung in the air.
We'll work it out another way.
And if Loki proves to be obstinate, if his usual wariness is mistaken for recalcitrance, Thor shifted uneasily. What then...
I just need more time, he had said.
...more time? Thor slid into the back seat of the car and watched as the back door disappear as they rounded the corner and pulled out onto the road. Perhaps we do not have any.
[...silence fell...]
[...the wall...]
[...the chasm...]
[...of separation...]
"So..."
Loki looked up as another man took Thor's empty seat. The chair which had looked so small bearing Thor's frame now held a familiar face. Coulson, Loki recalled. He had come and gone during his illness. His illness. That was Loki called it. At the memory of his vomiting and raving, Loki twitched.
"It wasn't the drug thing after all."
Leaning back on his pillows and turning his gaze away and downward, Loki stared at the white tiled flooring of his room. Under the tension of the silence, he could feel the fidgets coming on, the anxiety. He fought to keep his fingers still as they lay in the folds of the blankets pulled up to his chest.
It has been so long since I have had such luxuries, he thought miserably. I suppose they will come to an end soon enough. Midgard may not remember the Jotunn, but Thor...
Surely Thor would not abandon me to the tender mercies of the Midgardians. He tried to tell himself that over and over and over again, yet the well of fear, the gnawing fears which had chased him since the first day he had pulled on the disguise of Aleiko rose within him. Always his dark dreams had dogged his steps, anxiety clawing at his gut deep deep down. They would find out. Odin and Frigga, Thor and Sif and the Warriors Three, Asgard and the Mages Council... One day, he had supposed, they would all discover his dark secret. And he would be alone. Again... Or not.
What would they do?
It depended, he had thought, upon his usefulness, on his loyalty, on those who cared enough to protect him.
And then, he had discovered the truth. They had always known. Odin and Frigga and Mage Agaeti and a few others. A secret held for his protection. Caught up in preparing for a war, carrying on in Odin's and Thor's stead, Loki had had no real time to process the implications, but there had been time afterward. On the Tro'watal, on V'lozh'noi, on Jela to fully grasp what had truly been revealed.
Frigga had known... and she had accepted me with the open arms of a mother. Odin had known and had used my fear as best he could to his advantage – and he had seen within me a great prize. Something Laufey had never done... and the two or three Mages who had known had still offered me respect.
And now, Loki thought, I must relive it over again – and this time, I am in no position to protect myself. I must... win them to my cause, persuade them to believe what I speak is the truth... or we are all doomed...
"No," he finally whispered.
"Still," Coulson tried to start the flagging conversation again. "It could have gone worse."
"He didn't touch me," Loki finally managed, voice small.
He looked down at his hands, still scarred, still healing. Then, his glistening red eyes rose to meet Coulson's, wide and anxious and filled with sorrow. Biting his lip, fighting back tears and glancing away again, Loki swallowed, willing his cheeks to stiffen and his face to remain still.
"He said he needed... time."
"All of his life, our – the Jotunn have been monsters to him. That cannot change in a day."
"I think," Coulson said carefully, "you underestimate your brother. He has... changed. Changed, but you know it's one thing to change in your head and another thing to change through experience."
"I thought that... I had always worried that this day would come. I had always hoped it would never – he would never," Loki paused. His voice wavered a little as he continued, "In recent days, I had been given hope that it could be different. I had thought that perhaps there would be some good to come out of my... situation... who I am."
Frigga. Odin. Mal. Loki blinked away unshed tears, which now fringed slightly on his lashes and his narrow, bony face hardened.
"I was mistaken."
Coulson said nothing for a while.
"He said that you are Jotunn. From what we have gathered over the past few years, the Jotunn are the mortal enemies of Asgard?"
"Yes."
"And Thor's father, the king of Asgard adopted you, I take it."
"Yes."
"Did they..." Coulson hesitated a millisecond before continuing. "Do they know?"
"Yes," Loki shook his head, closing his eyes and his brow furrowed. "I – I was so worried that they would find out, but in the end, Mother and Father – the king and queen – they – they knew. And a few others."
"But not Thor."
"Not Thor," Loki looked down. "I myself did not know that they knew until a short while ago. It came as a... as a shock to me."
"He'll be angry about being kept in the dark," Coulson said. "And who wouldn't be?"
"Mother said there should be no secrets in the family." Loki gave Coulson a twisted smile before shrugging. "She was right. As always. He should have been told. We should have been told. I should have – I should have said something... I just... I was so afraid. And now, it has all come to nothing."
"Give your brother some time," Coulson smiled. "He will come around. I think he will remember and will come to understand. If you two were as close as he has told us, he will come around. Thor just needs time."
"Time..." Loki murmured, green eyes bleak. "There is no time..."
[...silence fell...]
[...in the silence...]
[...there is only doom...]
[...heavy-weighted and inevitable...]
Half an hour later after several phone calls and two swift conferences, Coulson got on the phone again.
"We need the Captain in Washington DC by tomorrow morning. We need Steve."
-0-0-0-
Early the next morning after a morning run around the block (twenty-five times), Steve found Thor in the gym set aside for agents. However, the usual thud and bam of punch-bag boxing and the monotonous slap of running feet could not be heard. The room was empty excepting his friend but the quiet room was filled with unspoken thought. Standing and staring at the red and blue punching bag before him, Thor seemed the very picture of indecision.
"Morning, Thor," Steve said, conversationally.
"Steve," Thor turned then and, looking his friend up and down. "You are in town!"
"Arrived late last night," Steve nodded. "Coulson needed to speak with me."
"You have already finished your morning exercises?"
"Yeah. You?"
Thor shrugged, "My heart is not in it today. No doubt Coulson told you already."
"Your brother, right? I heard."
"Did Coulson send you to speak with me?"
"Well," Steve ran his fingers nervously through his hair before taking a seat on a nearby bench. "Not really. More like listen. I'm just... here to listen, if you need it."
"There is nothing much to say." Thor turned back to the punching bag with a frown. "I spoke of my worries and anger to Coulson already."
"Hm... So you feel better now?"
"I am upset," Thor admitted with a gusty sigh.
"Your brother is a Gotunn – Jotan, right?"
"Jotunn," corrected Thor absently, slumping down beside Steve. He leaned forward, head in his hands, palms digging into his eye sockets. "Yes."
"The ancient race of people who fought Asgard, from what I remember you telling me before."
"Yes. They were at war with us when I was... exiled."
"This is the war which you started."
"I had a part in it," Thor finally said after a long moment. "Perhaps. But they also invaded my land. What was I to do?"
"Perhaps the invaders were only a small rebellious minority," Steve said carefully.
"That is what Father suggested." Thor sighed. "I was raised – everyone about me had told me all my life that... they had told me the one thing, that Jotunn are savage beasts who live for conquering. Thinking of Loki in that way... it is hard."
"Very upsetting."
"And he hadn't told me!" Thor's voice rose, his head jerking up and he jumped to his feet as the feelings of affront which had risen within him the night before once again came to the fore. "Mother and Father probably knew as well – and they hadn't told me either! What did they think of me? That I was unready? Or unwilling to accept him? That I was stupid and would never need to discover the truth of the matter?!"
"Well," Steve said carefully, "this is your chance to prove them wrong."
Thor paused and nodded, but Steve could tell by the way Thor's hands rubbed his face, the way his fingers jerked and pulled on the edge of his sweatshirt, the way he paced back and forth across the gym room that Thor was by no means at peace with the situation – or the truth of his adopted brother's heritage. It is, after all, one thing to forgive, Steve thought, but another thing to forget and move on and build on top of the old foundations of broken trust and hate.
"How do you feel about Loki being a Jotun?" Steve asked. "Forget the fact that people haven't been up front with you or honest. Just looking what lies before you... How do you feel?"
"I don't..." Thor frowned. "I don't know," he repeated, his voice small and bewildered. "I am – I am angry and afraid... and disappointed. I can hear the voices of my friends and my teachers and my father's stories. And I can hear the words of King Laufey... and I can see the dead bodies of the guards in the vault. It feels so easy to dwell in those moments. That is all so familiar to me. But there are other things to remember as well. All of our times together..."
"You are torn."
"My heart is torn," Thor said in soft anguish. "I do not know what I can do if I am to be truthful to Loki... and myself."
For a few minutes, the two men said nothing. Suddenly, Steve jumped to his feet and smiled at Thor. "Hey, wanna join me for a ride around town? I don't think you've seen much of the capital, right? I think there are a few things you should see."
-0-0-0-
Twenty minutes later, Thor was on the back of a large motorcycle – a hardy machine with amazing horsepower, modern design and the high quality leather Steve had been used to in his younger days. Black and silver, it was a far cry from Steve's usual ride, but it was the best motorcycle in SHIELD's lot. Steve grumbled a little bit about the handle's curvature. It was, apparently, lower than he would have liked.
Long ago, Thor remembered, Steve lived on Midgard when the entire world had been at war. Now, he works in a new world, a new paradigm. A man torn between two worlds. Perhaps, he will understand my problem after all.
When Steve brought the bike to a halt, parked it and took off his helmet, Thor, following suit with his own helmet, looked about. The Captain had parked by a very square, rather unadorned building. Unadorned by Asgardian standards, Thor chastised himself. Never judge a building by its exterior. Understated architecture is a sign of power in Midgard oftentimes.
"This is a museum," Steve nodded. "It's... not a place I am very fond of visiting, to be honest. But," here, the tall, blonde American sighed, "it's the best place to remember. A warning for all of us."
As they entered, Thor caught a glimpse of the building's name. One word stood out: Holocaust. Holocaust, Thor blinked. Once again, the All-Speak, which had seemed to be defective since his first arrival on the planet, did not help.
"This museum is a memory of the many deaths we have seen in the past centuries," Steve explained. "Genocide. The Holocaust was a time when many people were killed simply because of their race or their sexual identity – or because they spoke out against the atrocities they had seen."
"So this place condemns killing?"
"Yes, well... in a way. It's so we can remember and make sure it won't happen again."
"This is the war which you fought in – and now the countries who were the enemy live in relative peace with everyone else today," Thor recalled. "I remember."
"You've lived a long time, Thor. You've seen a lot, experienced a lot – and maybe you think that the wars and the deaths I talk about are nothing compared to what Asgard experienced..." Steve cocked his head.
"I suppose..."
"But let's just take a short walk through and see if anything looks familiar to you. If you can understand that when I talk about letting the past go, letting it be, I am not saying that lightly."
Thor nodded, watched as Steve procured tickets for them and the two entered the building. Still early i the morning, the museum seemed a little quiet. There were a few small groups of people moving around slowly from room to room. Steve's voice, respectfully lowered, also fit in with the general somber atmosphere.
Given his space, Thor was allowed to wander as he pleased, taking time to look at, to read the writing of the plaques and the various words and names on the walls. He did not know how much time passed in that place, but Steve's hand on his shoulder roused Thor from deep meditation as he stood before a stark white room filled with a large pile of shoes. The shoes – large and small, twisted and dirty and tattered – spoke of hundreds, perhaps thousands of people who no longer wore them. Empty testaments to the dead.
"They were not just soldiers," Thor said, voice muted. "There are small shoes. Children."
"Yes," Steve sighed.
"I have seen children killed in battle. It always – it always seemed a waste."
"Do you think Asgardians killed Jotunn children?"
"I..." Thor frowned, suddenly uncertain. "I do not know. I think not. My father, for certain, would not approve. Mother would be... She would be furious. But, I have seen – I have heard of the death of innocents in battle. That is something no honourable man would wish for."
"Agreed," Steve nodded. "More often than not, however, these people died in camps, men, women and children... and other families who lived around the camps, the locals, the neighbors, would turn their eyes away, would ignore what was going on. To survive."
"They are complicit also, through their inaction, do you think?"
"Some people think so," Steve shrugged. "I don't want to judge them. But those who stood by and watched and those who took part in those kinds of atrocities, spies and informers... in the end, many of them were freed... and their children live among us today."
"They are not their ancestors," Thor said. "That is what you are going to say."
"Yes... the mistakes of your parents, grand-parents – that can't determine character entirely."
"Loki is not defined only by his race."
"What do you think?"
Thor stared at the shoes for a moment longer before turning away.
"He is cultured, intelligent, skilled in magicks and knowledge..." Thor shook his head. "When I remember the tales I was told... and I think of Loki, I know he is not defined by what – by who he is."
"Let's go," Steve gave Thor a small smile. "We'll grab a quick lunch at a deli Coulson suggested. Then, we can go for another ride. There's something else I think you'd like."
After three sandwiches at the deli and two bottles of coke (the old style which Steve enjoyed best), Thor and Steve took to the road again. This time, Steve appeared to drive a little ways away from the centre of the city. Passing by various monuments, he talked about how each one was a memory of something or someone, an event or a battle. Thor could not help but compare the monuments to the ones his father and his forefathers had raised. Monuments of the great heroes, past kings and the victorious battles in which Asgard has taken part. In some ways, Midgard is the same, Thor mused, but in some ways... they are different.
Crossing over the river, they came to an area where many Midgardian warriors – soldiers – had been buried. Arlington, Steve called it, but he did not enter. He did speak of a memorial to the unknown soldier which surprised Thor for a few seconds. So even Midgard would remember the common warrior, Thor marveled and he felt a smile creeping across his face. He gave a short laugh. Midgardians are always so surprising.
It was not very long before Steve brought his bike to a stop and the two men, stowing away their helmets, strolled across the early spring grass and inhaled the sharp cool air. Overhead, the clouds had pulled away, allowing a little warmth from the sun. Thor, looking about, nodded in approval. Just what I needed, he thought. A time to think, to get away from it all... He paused as he took note of Steve. The soldier was standing at respectful attention for a few seconds before relaxing his stance before a powerful piece of sculpture.
Another monument set in stone: a group of men, dressed in very old-fashioned uniforms and round hats, appeared to be struggling to raise the American flag. The entire endeavor appeared to take everything out of them as they reached for the pole, as they supported each other in the great task. Thor was immediately transported to the battlefield. He could imagine it in his mind, for it seemed to him like a scene cut out of Asgardian legend.
I dreamed of moments like these as a child and a young man, Thor smiled. There would be a glorious day of battle and Sif and Volstagg and Hogun and Fandral and... and Loki would be there at my side. Together, we would do great deeds and save our Realm from the darkest of evils.
"I have never seen war in Asgard," Thor admitted aloud, his eyes following the flap-flapping blue, white and red flag above. "I have gone to the aid of others and have gained much respect and renown and glory on the battlefields of other lands and realms, but war has not haunted our lands since I was a babe."
"Why do you think I showed you this?" Steve asked, circling about the monument slowly.
"I do not know. Perhaps you wish to talk about how war is difficult? It is a team effort? We must all work together? Maybe not. That is something Coulson would say, I think."
"Haha. Yeah, that sounds like Coulson, doesn't it?"
"So, what is your reason?"
"Hayes, Sousley, Bradley, Block, Strank and Gagnon."
"You knew the men?"
"No." Steve smiled briefly. "Not where I was stationed. This was Iwo Jima and only three survived the war... more or less."
"But they were heroes."
"Yes," Steve said. "Everyday men. Some of them from farms, from small towns... Some days, I am worried about this world. I wonder if we are going to be alright. If we are going to make it... This picture is an encouragement, really. It just reminds me that there is bravery and honour in everyone. Sometimes less than you would like, but it's there – if you look for it."
"Even in the Jotunn, you think?" asked Thor skeptically.
"Do you think Loki is brave? Has his own honour code? Would he stand at your side to raise the flag?"
Thor thought of the Kol'la he had met in the House of Shax – a bitter, aloof young man who had fought with courage, who had battled with great tenacity and who had looked out for Thor without fail. He had protected Thor despite Thor's race... A Jotun protected an Asgardian that day. He could have so easily given into hatred, but there had been nothing but annoyance. Thor found himself smiling over that. There was that time on Gaias, and that other time with the dragon... and that other time looking for herbs for mother on Vanaheim... and that other time...
"Sometimes we look at guys like these and think that they are the epitome of heroism," Steve's even voice broke into Thor's thoughts. "We think – they are the guys to be – and don't get me wrong, they are! But you know... heroism comes in many forms."
"Other than fighting evil and defending the weak?"
"Well, being able to see look at something from another person's point of view. That's a great ability. Being able to forgive – that can be heroic. Walking away from an unnecessary fight. Yeah, there are other kinds of ways to be a hero. It's not just about looking good and getting the praise and going on the circuit and impressing all the girls... It's being there for people, the people who you love and who love you, the people who need your support."
Thor didn't respond. He could only see Loki lying in the bed. Loki's blue skin and the blue lines upon his face and hands and arms. Loki's red eyes had been filled with fear and sorrow.
And I walked away. Thor looked down at his feet and then away at the grey horizon which blurred suspiciously. I let him down... I could not see past the colour of his skin – and if what Steve says is right, then for a moment, I failed the test. I was no hero.
"If Loki is not his race, if he is not his ancestors, then... perhaps your moment has come to think about what you have known now for some time to be the truth..." Steve laid a hand on Thor's back and then said softly. "Heroism is putting your beliefs into action – even if other people don't understand, even if you are hurt as a result. It is one thing to know, it is another thing to do. I'll be at the motorcycle waiting for whenever you are ready."
Then, Steve was gone, leaving Thor with only the silence.
-0-0-0-
When Thor returned to the motorcycle, he said nothing and when Steve dropped him off by the Potomac River close to their HQ, saying that Coulson would be around to pick him up in half an hour, the ex-god only nodded, keeping his silence. Steve, moving away from the curb, looked back. Thor, wearing his navy-blue sweatshirt and blue jeans, long blond hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, looked odd beneath the pink-white blossoming sakura trees around him. The man did not move from his seat, nor did he appear to have noticed that Steve was gone.
Shaking his head and hoping that he had been at least a little successful in setting Thor off on the right path, Steve returned back to HQ to let Coulson know what had happened.
They had done what they could do. Now it was up to Thor. It was a matter of time.
-0-0-0-
Thor did not notice the night sky darkening. When a small white and pink petal drifted down and landed on the back of his clasped hand, he stared at it a while. Gently turning his hand, Thor caught the fragile thing and looked at it curiously. A piece of a blossom from the trees, he supposed. A thing easily crushed and soon it would rot and fade – but in this moment, it was a thing of delicate beauty.
It reminded him of Jane. Jane, who would not be able to stand at his side forever. Jane who was smart and kind and beautiful, yet ephemeral as the flower he held in his hand. Our time, he knew, is limited and already he could hear his father's voice counseling him to forget her. I want to call her, Thor realized with a smile, talk to her, tell her about my problem. She would give me sound advice... but talking to her, what would that achieve, really?
I already know.
'Heroism is putting your beliefs into action – even if other people don't understand, even if you are hurt as a result.' That was what Steve had said. 'It is one thing to know, it is another thing to do.'
It is one thing to know...
Loki is a Jotun, but he is also my brother. My only brother. A brother I can never let go.
...it is another thing to do.
Things will be difficult as the old gives way to the new... We can never go back. It will be hard this new path we must tread together.
Thor raised his head, his face a picture of determination and trepidation intermixed. Coulson, he saw, was emerging from the usual dark vehicle, looking cautious. The ex-god forced a smile which Coulson returned with a nod.
"Can I..." Thor hesitated before finding his voice and repeating his question more firmly. "Can I try again?"
"That is the best thing I could have heard all day," Coulson patted Thor on the shoulder as his agent rose to his feet. "We were going to have to go ahead with the questioning without you – but this way is much better."
"You would have risen to the occasion," Thor chuckled then, "if I had failed you."
"But you didn't. So, we can get this show on the road."
"Yes," Thor forced down his uneasiness and took a seat inside the vehicle with Coulson. "I have wasted enough time sulking. Now, I am ready for the truth."
"It won't be easy," Coulson reminded Thor, "but I know you and Loki can figure it out. The fact that you returned will be miracle enough for him. If you two don't give up and keep on talking, things will... make more sense as time goes on. That's the way of family."
"Family," Thor thought of his mother and father alone in Asgard fighting the Jotunn. Forcing his fears down, he focused on the task at hand. Loki and the fear and sadness and despair within him.
Loki, he thought, I am coming.
[...reaching out...]
[...together we may face the future...]
[...and the future...]
[...and the secrets of the stars...]
[...and the treasure they hide...]
[...across time and space...]
[...lost to history...]
When the Realms were created, the overflowing energies of the Realms had been formed into the gems known as the Infinity Stones. Hidden and watched over with great care, in the event that an evil entity such as a Mad Titan were to gain control of them, the Stones were kept in great secrecy. Some were placed in Vaults, others were slowly collected, yet others were buried in Asgard's greatest Vault, the Vault within the Realm Eternally Sheltered. Eternally Sheltered and Eternally Watched, the world of Midgard turned and spun about its sun. Within its teeming, joyous breast, many treasures were hidden.
Yet a new age dawned and with it, great power was sought and discovered. Fate decreed the wheels of power would turn once again – and the Tesseract was found. Once found, the white cube was wielded with limited knowledge but great ingenuity.
So it sat within its nested metal throne and reached across the spaces, across the Void, calling out to those who would listen, to those who could hear the voices of the stars, those connected to magicks and the realm of the unseen.
It sang out and flared with the power of a mighty star. If only there was one worthy enough to wield it... but the echoes, ringing out, returned, holding dark promise.
He was coming.
There we go! It's finished. These Thor chapters kill me to be frank, but it needs to be done or we just have a hole in Thor's emotional and mental timeline. Hopefully this will make sense as to his actions later on.
Next chapter: The Tesseract blows. Loki tries to warn people. Things start to go full-throttle.
Off-topic: I saw Hobbit #3. OMG. THRANDUIL! WUT! Where did you come from, sexy beast!? I love Thranduil. Now we see where the awesome of Legolas comes from. Just saying.