A/N – Okaaaay, I felt a (little) guilty for leaving you guys hanging while I vanished to Sunny Spain… so, for all of you, another chapter… and this really will be the last until I return… maybe… chuckle.

Enjoy!

Chapter 80 - Catalyst

As her fingers tightened even more, the last thing I was fully conscious of were Alice's eyes looking at me intently...

And then...

Then it started to happen again.

Where was I? Or rather, where had my mind carried me to this time? My eyes were closed, at least, in the literal sense yet here I was experiencing an event once again that was appearing so vividly in my mind... and although not actually present I knew deep down I was under the influence of my gift as the vision of long ago played out in front of my very eyes...

I was fully aware of someone running towards me at a high speed... and then...then they tumbled as someone else seemingly tackled them to the ground.

"Get off me..."

That voice was familiar yet different...

"I said get the hell off me"

And at once I knew, mentally scolding myself for not putting the pieces together sooner... I had been holding Antara's hand...

The girl on the floor was Antara.

I watched as Antara was pulled to her feet by two men in a uniform I didn't recognise.

"We've got you now Missy" one of the uniformed men hissed as Antara struggled wildly in their arms. Before I could make sense of what just happened, the other man lashed out hitting Antara squarely on the jaw...

"NO!" I screamed as I watched her slump in their arms, the vision now becoming obscure and dark...

"Bella"

Alice... I could hear Alice yet she seemed so far away...

"Antara, you need to let go of her hand..."

Alice's voice again, more urgent this time...

"Not yet Alice, she isn't in any pain. Trust me... I need this contact to fully understand her gift..."

I felt slightly nauseous as my head started to spin. Why couldn't I see anything?

Suddenly I was blinded by a searing slight, so bright I found myself covering my face with my hands... and then I heard her, again...

"If you touch me again, so help me god, I will kill you..."

Antara?

"Antara" I heard myself whisper, as the light dimmed and her image appeared in front of me...

Was she talking to me?

And then I realised, how could she be talking to me? I was merely a spectator of her past... watching the events unfold in front of me as they had done so many years previous...

"I'll do whatever I like with you" a voice hissed, as I turned... "You're in MY country now..."

My country… Australia! I immediately detected the man's accent…

He was tall almost lanky and as he walked over to Antara I realised he was holding something in his hand... what was that?

And then I shivered.

He was holding a club...

"No... Don't you dare..." I screamed as he lunged forward, hitting Antara on the arm.

It's no good Bella, he won't hear you, nobody will hear you... echoes of the past remember?

"I want you to let her go Antara"

Alice's voice again...

"She sounds in pain"

Rosalie this time... the past couldn't hear me, but clearly the present could...

"I swear she is in no pain, she is merely witnessing pain... My pain..."

Antara... she knew...

I watched helplessly as the man struck Antara again, this time across her cheek as blood started to trickle down her face... I couldn't take much more of this...

Slowly the man started to laugh as he watched Antara fall to the ground, kicking her in the stomach before leaving.

And then she rolled into a ball, a tight ball, as she held her arm... the blood still spilling from her face.

The bastard.

"Antara, are you okay? Please, speak to me..." I whispered softly, crouching by her side as I forgot my presence was merely a mirage, only existing for this one moment in time...

No tears spilled from her eyes as her gaze remained focused on where the man had vanished too.

"I'll get you one day" she whispered, as she wiped the blood from her face, glancing down at her stained fingers.

"And I shall kill you" she finished, as I found myself being hit by an unknown force that seemed to catapult me back, further and further...

"How much longer does she have to endure this?"

I heard Alice as I reached out blindly, trying to find her... but it was too dark, everything around me was too dark.

"Not much longer"

Antara... why couldn't I see her? Why couldn't I see anyone? Why did I feel as though I was tumbling down an endless black hole...

"You want to kill him, don't you?"

Suddenly I felt my legs buckle as if I had come into contact with a hard concrete floor... whose voice was this? I didn't recognise this voice...

"I've been watching how they treat you Antara... I've been watching for a while now... and I know you want revenge for all of the beatings he has given you..."

Blurred.

My vision was so blurred... I couldn't see who the voice belonged to.

And then I felt something on my hand, and I knew it was Antara, or at least, Antara from the present.

"Its okay Bella, try and concentrate on my voice... you are starting to understand the power of your gift... accept it... welcome it... and things will become clearer..."

Concentrate Bella... you need to do what Antara is suggesting.

"The pain you feel when you witness the lives of others, it will subside once you start to embrace the gift... like a flowing tap, you will learn how to control the speed of the water Bella, and you will learn how to turn off the water entirely, so that the visions no longer bring you pain...you have a strong spirit, stronger than any I have come across. You fear your own power but with time you will be liberated from that fear. Listen to my voice… trust me… whatever you think you can do, or believe you can do, begin it… you can control your gift"

Listen to her words Bella…don't fear your gift… embrace it…

"Who are you?"

Anrara's voice again, only more hesitant and unsure. And then I understood, it was the Antara from the past as the scene in front of me unveiled itself.

"Who I am is of no concern, however, what I can offer..."

His voice trailed off as I watched him take a step closer to her. Tall and slim with long blonde hair, longer than Jaspers... and red eyes... inflamed and glowing...

"My question is do you accept what I offer?"

My eyes darted back to Antara, who was slumped on the muddy ground, her legs and hands in chains... immediately I saw the bruises across her face, bare arms and legs... the torn top and shorts not hiding the result of her beatings.

"I'm a thief" she spat, "it all depends on the value of what you offer..."

He laughed then, a deep and rich laugh that seemed to enter my brain, bouncing from cell to cell... never leaving me.

"Immortality" he replied, with a raised eyebrow.

Immortality...

"Revenge" he finished, as he leant down and broke the shackles from Antara's wrists and legs with one swift movement.

Revenge...

Antara remained seated, as her eyes moved to the chains that were now tossed to the ground. Not once did she flinch.

She wasn't afraid...

Slowly she looked back up at the unknown vampire.

No, she wasn't afraid, she was... intrigued...

"Do it" she whispered, as the vampire laughed again, reaching down to take her in his arms.

"You see what happened Bella... now you know... but there is more you need to see... to fully understand what drives me, you need to see..."

Antara's voice floated towards me as though it were dancing in the wind as the image stilled, and then dulled... the last thing I saw was vermilion spill from Antara's neck as the vampire took her skin in his mouth and bit down gently...

I braced myself for the tumbling sensation, yet it did not come. Instead I now felt as though I was floating... before my feet found a hard surface in which to rest upon. Everything was dark, but I was starting to understand the darkness... it always came before the light...

"How the hell did you escape?"

All at once I recognised the voice of the man who had beaten Antara before... the one who had clearly beaten her many times since...

"Magic"

Antara soon came into my sights... the same Antara as before, yet different...

"Well, don't think you're getting away with it" the man spat, as he brought the club out from behind his back...

"Oh, I shall enjoy this" Antara replied, as the man lunged forward.

I watched as Antara quickly spun the man in her arms, removing the club from his grasp.

"What the..."

"I'm going to have some fun now" she whispered in his ear, as she then pushed him forward.

Quickly he turned, fury appearing across his face. And then he lunged forward again...

Big mistake...

I watched as Antara brought the club down heavily on his arm, resulting in a "crack"

The man staggered, clutching at his arm.

"You crazy bitch, you've broken my fucking arm" he stuttered, as Antara smiled...

"One down, one to go" she softly spoke as she threw the club away.

"Allow me to continue" she finished as she stepped forward taking the man by his free arm I watched as she snapped it with her hands...

The man fell to the ground, withering with agony... yet all I felt was... satisfaction... after all he had done to her, I actually felt...

How could I feel that way?

"You deserve pain, after the constant beatings you've put me through" Antara hissed, as she reached down and scooped him up with her hands.

"And now? Now I shall feed..."

The last vision was one I would never forget, as her lips came into contact with the mans neck... ripping and tearing at his flesh...

"Everything is okay Bella... open your eyes... come back to us" Antara whispered.

Alice was the first thing I saw when my eyes flickered open… as Antara removed her hand from mine, Alice's arms were immediately around me.

"Bella, are you alright?" she mumbled into my chest as my arms slowly enveloped her. Seconds passed as my eyes then darted to everyone else in the room.

Esme and Rosalie were both standing near me, concern etched across their faces. Carlisle, Emmet and Edward seemed… tense, although not as tense as Jasper who had clearly felt the distress that I had witnessed. I glanced at Antara as Alice took a step back, her eyes flashing with deep concern.

After everything I had witnessed I was no longer intimidated by this newcomer. I felt… a deep empathy for the life she had led. I also felt encouraged by her and her words. I hadn't felt as unsure this time as her past had played out before my very eyes. With Emmet and Esme I had felt everything deeply, as Jasper did daily… but this time her words had given me some comfort and a form of mental control.

"You fear your own power but with time you will be liberated from that fear. Listen to my voice… trust me… whatever you think you can do, or believe you can do, begin it… you can control your gift"

"Thank you Antara" I almost whispered as she glanced from me to Alice.

"Everyone around you believes in you Bella, all you need to harness is the belief in yourself and your gifts"

Her eyes were now back on me as she tilted her head.

"But this is so very new to me" I answered as Antara nodded.

"Bella, you are able to see the past lives of other with a mere touch. This is one of your gifts and you must trust it for it is uniquely yours and is as individual as a fingerprint or a snowflake"

Alice frowned, "One of her gifts?"

Jasper placed his hand on Alice's shoulder, sensing her confusion. Antara, noticing the display nodded slowly.

"Bella, it is no accident that Edward is unable to read your thoughts. The truth is, he can, you merely block his ability to"

Everything in the room seemed to still at that moment in time.

I could block Edward's ability? It was as if Esme had suspected…

"This would explain a lot of things" Edwards's voice was clear and crisp, as his brows seemed to furrow. I must have also looked confused, as Carlisle stepped forward.

"You also sensed this Antara?" he asked gently, as Antara nodded again.

"Bella also has the ability to shield herself… in this instance; she shields herself from Edwards's ability to read her mind. Jasper told me that… before, when Bella was…" her voice trailed off as she looked at Jasper.

Jasper removed his hand from Alice's shoulder.

"When Bella was… in the process of changing… you could hear her Edward, for a split moment, I told Antara"

Edward nodded, "Yes… so I assume, because Bella was so frantic to be heard, she dropped her guard, her shield…."

Again, Antara nodded.

I could drop and replace my shield at will?

"This is all so new to me" I mumbled, as Alice edged closer and held my hand giving it a squeeze of encouragement.

Antara smiled.

"Bella, everything may seem chaotic but with time and guidance from your family you will find order, clarity and even peace but you must be patient. Be mindful that patience is essential for the recognition of your gifts and acceptance will soon follow"

Steadily she continued.

"It is early days and you must step carefully and gently. It is not a weakness to accept that you do not have understanding at your fingertips and are lacking experience. With perseverance you will succeed, not all of the pieces are in place yet but they soon will be"

I felt Alice squeeze my hand again as I turned to face her.

"Together we will accomplish" she whispered, as Antara's voice floated towards us.

"You may feel as though everything is falling apart Bella, but this is necessary"

I looked from Alice to Antara, a frown appearing across my face. Sensing my bewilderment she steadily continued.

"You cannot rebuild until you have torn down your old ways. Trust that things will improve, but first they must be dismantled. You are a new born, one with amazing control. I suspect you will rebuild sooner that anyone expects"

Slowly Antara's words echoed around my head before one question appeared before my very eyes…

"But… how come I am unable to detect the past lives of the others?" I asked, almost timidly.

How come I had never witnessed Alice's?

Antara seemed puzzled by my question as Carlisle's voice continued on my behalf. I was relieved.

"Bella has, thus far, seen Emmet and Esme's past before yours. She has had contact with the rest of us, but she hasn't witnessed first hand how we became what we are today"

Antara bit at her lip, an act similar to mine when I was thinking.

"You were already a vampire when you saw these snippets of their past?" she asked lightly, as I nodded.

"And you had some form of physical contact with them, when this happened?" she asked again, as I nodded once more.

"Yes, I was having an arm wrestle with Emmet when I first experienced my… ability. And then, I was being comforted by Esme when I witnessed her… past" my words trailed off as my eyes flickered to Esme who smiled and linked her arm through mine.

"So, in both circumstances you were experiencing extreme emotion, in the first instances the desire to win, and in the second, you were fearful… and when I took your hand, you were worried… I can only presume that your ability to shield not only stops others from penetrating your defences, but may also stop you from using yours, unless you experience extreme emotions. With time Bella, you will harness the ability to control both of your gifts"

Silence ensued again, before Antara cleared her throat.

"Who won?" she asked, as Emmet immediately groaned.

"It was a draw" he mumbled, as Antara smirked.

"That answers my question perfectly" she finished, as Alice laughed beside me. Finally she seemed to be more... relaxed with Antara.

I had two gifts…. And if I could somehow learn to control them…

You could connect to Alice's past Bella… finally; you would know what happened to her… she would know what happened to her….

"I have two gifts" I mumbled again, as Emmet's voice seemed to boom from behind me.

"Hell and I don't even have one" he muttered, as Antara raised her eyebrow.

"I think your gift, Emmet, is one of humour. Never knock that"

Rosalie laughed as Antara moved her gaze towards her.

"And yours, Rosalie, is compassion"

Rosalie smiled.

"Thank you"

Antara's eyes moved from Rosalie, towards my hand that was still held by Alice's.

"May I?" she asked, as Alice turned to face Antara.

"You want to sense my gift?" Alice asked, as Antara smiled again.

"Oh, definitely" she finished, as her smile widened.

Alice held out her hand.

"Let's do this"

See you when I get back! ES x