A/N – I really didn't want this chapter to disappoint as it's kind of pivotal to the story (and I would hate to let you all down) As such I asked my chum Antara (the real one) aka Aussie Royal to scan before I posted (for that, I thank her sincerely)
Enjoy!
Chapter 83 – Identity
I slowly walked up the stairs towards Alice's room. Had I still been human there was no doubt in my mind I would have felt exhausted and mentally fatigued. It had taken nearly an hour for Jasper to calm certain occupants in the room. Jake's arrival had caused both Antara and Rosalie to become a little unapproachable and detached. Edward had tried to use his gift to reason with them both by listening to their innermost concerns but it had taken time for them to drop their guard and become a little more affable… and Jake himself hadn't been much better. That mixed with Emmet's constant baiting had resulted in an interesting hour. Alice had seemed to grow almost weary of the events that were unfolding before our very eyes, and I wondered if she had seen the evening's occurrence before they had even begun.
"I need to go upstairs" she had whispered into my ear, as Emmet had reluctantly held out his hand to Jake.
"Come with me?" she had asked, as Jasper had glanced at me.
"I'll be right up" I had replied, as she smiled before quietly leaving the room.
I had spoken briefly to Jasper before leaving the room.
"Thank you Jasper, I know it can't be easy controlling the mood in this room right now"
Jasper had nodded slightly, his eyes resting on mine intently.
"Go to her, Bella. I can handle everyone here… even Jake…"
I had smiled as Jake removed his hand from Emmet's.
"Call that a grip" he had muttered, as Emmet almost scoffed.
"I was going easy on you Junior"…
Junior, a name coined by Antara, now used by Emmet… they could have been twins.
"Alice needs you" Jasper had continued, as he placed his hand on my arm.
Yes, Alice needed me and I needed her.
So here I was, waiting outside the closed door, random thoughts colliding in my mind.
Slowly I opened the door, as my eyes immediately became accustomed to the dark. Alice was standing with her back to me near the full open window at the end of the room. A slight breeze was playing with strands of her hair as she turned to face me.
"Bella"
Her voice was soft and called out to me like a mermaid's song, immediately enchanting me and beckoning me forward. My feet carried me across to her within seconds, as our hands entwined.
"I'm sorry I left… I needed to think" she whispered, as she took a small step closer to me.
"I understand" was my simple reply as Alice smiled at me once more.
"And is the atmosphere downstairs still arctic?" she enquired with a raised eyebrow.
I smiled, "I'd say more…. chilly… verging on temperate, thanks to Jasper"
Alice's lips broke out into a smile. "I never saw that….merely Antara's… reaction… to Jake"
I pulled Alice towards me, "So you did see something, I wondered… next time, give me a heads up and I can escape?" I asked as Alice started to laugh.
"It's a deal, providing we both escape together"
I nodded as I brushed a stray strand of hair away from Alice's face.
"Want to share your thoughts?" I asked lightly as Alice glanced from me to the bed.
"I'd rather do something else" she whispered, a gleam appearing in her eyes.
Her statement immediately stimulated, as familiar warmth seemed to stroke my skin.
"Really?" I whispered, as Alice quickly span me around in her arms, pulling me back with her as we both landed softly on the bed.
"I feel fevered" she murmured in my ear as she leant across, her lips brushing my lobe.
"And excited…" she continued, as I felt her tongue make slow circular movements on my ear lobe, moving down onto my neck.
"You only want me for my body" I whispered with a smile, my voice now laced with passion.
Alice continued to run her tongue along my neck before gently blowing on the wet trail she had left behind. I felt myself shudder, a small growl escaping my lips.
Alice lifted her head back, her honey eyes now looking into mine. Taking both my hands in hers she smiled.
"I want you for your mind, body and soul" she whispered.
Mind…
Body…
Soul…
They were the last three words I heard before everything seemed to spiral out of control…
"Bella?"
Mind…
I was tip toeing around the edge of Alice's mind… as my inner voice spoke out to me…
Walk lightly Bella… slowly now… this is Alice's mind… delicate and fragile… tread carefully…
"Bella? What is it…?"
Body…
As Alice's grip tightened on mine, I knew it was time… finally time to see Alice in her human body…
Patience Bella, remember what Antara said… be patient and all will be revealed…
"Its happening again, isn't it?"
Soul…
I felt the walls slowly crumble around me, the walls that had stopped me from seeing Alice's past… my gift of shielding, even my own ability, was finally conceding… finally allowing me to look deeply into Alice's soul…
Relax and stay calm Bella… it is time to unlock the door to Alice's past, time to see her quintessence…
"Its okay Bella, I am here, I am always going to be here…."
"I am always going to be here for you Mary, but you need help… you need help from professionals, do you understand?"
I was no longer sitting with Alice in her bedroom. As the spinning slowly subsided in my head, I began to see where I was… and who I was with…
"I don't want to be left alone mother, I don't like it here"
Alice.
My eyes immediately searched the room to find the one I loved…
"Mary, listen to your mother. You have psychological problems that need addressing… you're not well…."
"Don't patronise me father, there is nothing wrong with me…."
And then I saw her…
"Alice…."
Bella, Bella… when will you finally realise you will never be heard? These are merely images of the past… you will only be heard in the present…
"Do not speak to your father like that Mary, your intellectual state is not sound, you need help…"
I could hear Alice's parents, but my only concern was Alice as I walked across the hospital room towards her….
Alice… so fragile… I immediately hated seeing her this way. How dare they put her through this, how dare they... I felt a shudder as my self control started to spin out of control….
"I can't do this… I can't see them treat you like this…." My voice trailed off as I felt Alice's grip from the present tighten even more.
"Its okay Bella, remember what Antara said… relax…."
Alice's voice floated around my head as the room seemed to enter darkness. She couldn't remember this…. She couldn't see it because she couldn't remember it...
Part of me didn't want her to remember…
"You have a mental illness Mary; we will help you at this hospital…."
"Hospital? Don't you mean mental asylum?"
"Mary, Mary…."
"Stop calling me that… I told you before, I prefer my middle name… call me Alice"
What was happening? Where was I now?
The image that appeared before my eyes made me convulse.
I watched, powerless, as a nurse appeared at my side, before moving towards a figure huddled in the corner of the room… it was Alice, although I barely recognised her in the white, ragged gown she was wearing.
"Please, leave me alone"
"Its okay Mary, don't worry. Everyone is scared to death the first time…"
I watched in horror as the nurse lifted Alice roughly.
"No… leave her alone… don't…." I screamed out as another voice echoed around the room.
Antara's.
"Concentrate on the images Bella, and remember they are merely broken figments of Alice's past… she is in no pain now…."
No, not now... but she was about to be…
I tried to reach out towards the nurse, but my arms seemed to be glued to my side.
"If you sit still, the metal plates won't hurt as much Mary"
An overwhelming and painful feeling erupted inside as I watched the Doctor place two metal plates to the sides of Alice's head, buckling them into place with a strap that seemed to push savagely against her forehead.
"NO" I screamed, as the Doctor placed a wire into her mouth.
"Bite down if the pain gets too much, Mary..."
I can't watch this… I can't see her go through this…pain...
I watched as Alice closed her sad eyes, taking a sharp intake of breath before a shrilling sound bounced around the room…
"No… stop it; please… you're killing her…." I screamed as Antara's voice appeared once more…
"Bella… I know this is hurting you, but you need to remain focused if you want to see what happens… don't erect your shield…"
Shield.
I wanted to be Alice's shield as I watched her shake and tremble.
"The electricity will change the level of chemical in your brain Mary…"
Those were the last words I heard before I felt myself fall…
Those were the last words I heard before I saw the next scene unfold…
Those were the last words I heard before I saw him…
Reuben.
"This can't be right…. I don't understand…" I heard myself mutter as I watched him walk casually along the asylum corridor without a care in the world.
Why am I seeing Reuben? How was he connected… he…
He knew Alice was called Mary…
I didn't know how before… but I was starting to understand now…
I followed him as he stopped outside a closed door. I watched as he ran a long finger across the gold name plate. I listened to his words, clear and crisp.
"Doctor M Marshall…."
Where was Alice? Why was Reuben here? What was he doing in the….
And then I knew. Knew before I even witnessed what I knew I was about to…
Slowly Reuben began to whistle as he knocked on the door. The door opened slowly, as I found myself inching towards Reuben…
"Doctor Marshall I presume" Reuben whispered, his red eyes gleaming.
"What? Who are you? How did you get in here?" the doctor questioned as Reuben began to laugh…
The laugh I remembered so well….
"A psychotic depression is like your worst nightmare, isn't that what you believe?" Reuben asked casually, his head tilting to one side.
"Yes… but…"
Before the doctor could finish, I watched Reuben reach out quickly, taking the doctor by the throat in a tight grip.
"Wrong belief, I AM your worst nightmare"
I continued to watch as Reuben thrust the doctor back into the room, closing the door behind him.
The last thing I head was a blood curdling scream…
I hated Reuben with a passion… yet at that very moment, I hated the doctor more for what he had done to Alice… and I knew I would have done the same thing…
"What can you see now Bella?"
Antara's voice was soft…
You can't tell her Bella, not until you know more… you need to speak to Alice about this in private…
And then I saw her.
My Alice, sat on a chair in a deserted room, her knees tucked under her chin as she gently rocked back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…
And I knew what was coming next; I didn't need Alice's gift to see…
I knew.
Reuben…
"They've locked you in a mental asylum and experimented on you…. They don't understand you like I do… Alice…"
Alice's head shot up. Blinking a few times I watched as she attempted to gain focus…
"I've taken care of the Doctor…. He won't be hurting you anymore, now let me take care of you Alice and you can take care of me… you and I, together forever…"
Alice stopped rocking as she slowly dropped her legs, standing shakily.
"Who are you?" she asked in an uncertain voice I was not familiar with.
"Alice, I am your fate" he whispered….
I can't see this… I can't watch him do this to her… please… I understand now, I understand…
"I understand now… I can't watch anymore Antara… please make this stop…."
As Reuben lunged at Alice, I felt my body pivot as if it were on some invisible axis…
And then I saw him…I saw Reuben… towering over Alice, a crumpled heap on the floor… blood on his lips...
"You ARE pathetic…. You can't even stand! They were right about you Alice, you are weak… too weak for me….you're a vampire yet you collapse under the pressure… you are feeble and mentally infirm…"
Alice remained on the floor, trickles of blood spilling from her neck….
"Get up! You are a new born; you should be stronger than this…."
Alice didn't move…
"I can't let you live… you are a contradiction…." His voice snarled as I felt myself rush towards Alice….
"There….."
Another voice echoed as a congregation of people gathered in the distance…
"Lucky escape Alice" Reuben spat before vanishing.
My eyes were immediately on Alice…
"Alice, please… you need to get up… you need to escape… they will wonder what happened to you…"
My voice was frantic now as I felt something touch my cheek.
"I did escape Bella… I am here…"
I could hear Alice, my Alice from the present, as the touch on my cheek pressed a little harder.
"Come back to us Bella… come back to me…" her voice continued as her kiss deepened…
The last thing I saw was Alice as she stood slowly, turning to face the people that were now running along the corridor towards her. Quickly she turned, and for a split second I felt like she was looking directly at me…
"Alice…"
And then she started to run…
"Its okay Bella, I am here, open your eyes for me…."
Slowly my eyes flitted open as Alice placed her arms around me.
"I am here" she whispered again as I slowly moved back to look at her.
Antara was standing behind her next to Jasper.
"I… saw everything…" I whispered, as Alice placed her thumb under my eye.
"I know" I continued, as Alice slowly wiped her thumb across my cheek.
"It was… painful… I felt… "
"Upset" Alice finished for me as I slowly nodded.
"How did you know?" I asked hesitantly.
"Because you're crying" she answered, her thumb wiping away the tears that were now falling freely down my face.
Antara looked at Jasper.
"We'll leave you now" she murmured as both Alice and I looked up.
"You need to talk" she finished, as she led Jasper out of the room.
Yes, we needed to talk… But how do I tell Alice about her past?
And more importantly, how do I tell her about Reuben?