A/N – Hello! Just a quick thanks to my chums who helped me with this chapter – you know who you are and I really (really) appreciate you reading over this before I posted it. Thank you.
Oh, and….get well soon Jinxy! xoxo
Chapter 84 - Translation
My eyes remained focused on Bella as Jasper and Antara slowly left the room. Both seemed equally concerned, as Jasper hovered before closing the door quietly behind him. I had called out to Antara, and she had suddenly appeared in my room, Jasper by her side. I had never seen Bella so agitated before. When she called out my name in anguish I knew I needed Antara's calming words to infiltrate the nightmare Bella was living…
The nightmare that was my past.
My past, a product of an infinite number of events… the past that Bella had re-lived.
It almost seemed ironic to me that I could see snippets of the future, an array of boundless opportunities, while Bella could witness the past… the past that was fixed in stone. Like Bella and I, the past and the future had merged this evening and had become one.
Intuition was and always would be intrinsic to my mind, yet there had always been elements of the unknown that even my intuition had been unable to break down. This evening Bella had somehow unlocked the gateway I had unintentionally kept secure for so long. Before meeting Jasper I had existed by quietly moving from place to place, keeping myself hidden, almost blinkered to my surroundings. Not once did I stop to examine my own preconceptions of the world before… the world where I had been human… I merely accepted that I was once human, and was now a vampire…
Even Jasper's calming influence did very little to unmask the secrets of my past. Oh, his gift stopped the self-depreciation I had always felt from tearing away at me, but the past was still a mystery to me.
Until now.
I looked into Bella's eyes that were now a pale yellow.
She recognised my past, she had witnessed it… and those echoes of time had caused her to cry.
I had caused her to cry…
I, with my clearly turbulent past…
I, who had given Bella her gift to begin with.
"I am so sorry," I whispered in a voice I barely recognised.
Bella's arms were around me in seconds. Her speed was second to none as she slowly started to rock me gently in her arms.
"You survived…" she whispered back as I burrowed my head against her chest.
Yes I survived…
But what had I survived?
Bella's words came floating back…
"I can't do this… I can't see them treat you like this…."
"No… leave her alone… don't…."
"No… stop it; please… you're killing her…."
Had I survived some ordeal I was oblivious to? An ordeal that Bella had witnessed with her gift?
Antara had remained so calm throughout the whole nightmare that had unfolded before me. Bella's suffering had plagued me, leaving me with a distressing agony that burned deep where my heart had once existed…
An agony that had left me feeling guilty.
I knew there was nothing I could do to change what had already happened in the past, but watching Bella, the innocent bystander, observe images that were clearly tormenting her…
I wanted it to stop.
My past, compared to Bella's pain, was insignificant. Bella was all that mattered to me. Bella who was still holding me tightly against her.
"Alice… I…. I need to tell you something, and I hope it finally brings order, clarity and peace to the chaos of your past."
I absorbed her words.
Order, clarity and peace…
I wanted that so much, yet the tone of Bella's voice made me realise they would come at a price.
Slowly she shifted. Moving back a little I watched as she took hold and gripped at both of my hands.
"It may have seemed that your inner conflicts would never be resolved Alice, yet I can tell you what I saw… a part of me loathes the thought of you finding out what… happened… but only by knowing can you finally let go and start to heal."
Gently she removed one hand from mine, cupping my cheek.
She was anxious.
I needed to alleviate her worry.
"I understand Bella…."
I listened as she slowly and steadily began to tell me about her experiences of my human life…
"They left you there Alice… and I couldn't do anything to help you as they… experimented on you…."
Bella's voice was ragged and raw as her hand moved back to my own.
Electric shock treatment…. And my own parents had given their permission…
"Do you remember anything about them?" she asked slowly as I shook my head.
"No… did you… see them?" I asked a little hesitantly as Bella now shook hers.
"No… I heard them… but I found I was concentrating on you, only you."
"My parents had me committed to a mental asylum because my visions made them uneasy," I replied, my voice now raw.
Bella's grip tightened.
"I can't comprehend what they did… and I despise what they did," she replied forcefully, as I found myself trying to remember something, anything, about them…
"I still don't remember them," I answered truthfully as Bella quickly kissed my forehead.
"Well I hope you never do," she finished as I placed my hand on Bella's cheek as she had done to me moments earlier.
"I hate that you had to see that Bella… it pains me so much that I couldn't stop it… that I was the cause of it…"
Bella didn't let me finish as a slim finger appeared across my lips. I waited as she then moved her finger to the side of my forehead.
"This is where the deepest memories of grief are held," she whispered, before moving the same finger to the side of her forehead. "And this is where grief's wounds will finally be healed Alice. It pained me to see what happened to you… but I had to see it, so I could tell you… so you can heal," she finished as a single, solitary tear ran down her cheek.
I caught it with the tip of my finger.
"I'm sorry you had to see those experiments Bella."
Bella bit at her lip, a mannerism that had remained since her transformation, one I adored.
"Alice, I am sorry you had to… live through those experiments."
I nodded, and then shrugged.
"I remember very little… sometimes, I see images, but I am never certain if they are scenes of possible future occurrences or merely memories that are demanding to be recalled… but I don't remember my parents or the asylum."
Bella inched closer to me.
"Alice… there is more."
And I somehow knew that this was the moment I had been waiting for... although what that moment was still remained hidden… until Bella continued to speak, almost gravely.
Hospital corridor…
Watching and waiting…
He arrived…
He…
Reuben…
Reuben killed the Doctor…
Reuben….
Changed me….
Reuben…
I felt myself physically flinch as Bella slowly finished, her last words jabbing at my mind like a slender surgical instrument exploring the depth and direction of a wound…
A wound like the one that Reuben had inflicted when he sired me… A wound like the one he had marked on Bella's arm…
Reuben changed me…
"How could I not remember?" I mumbled, as Bella bit at her lip once more.
"Alice, I am… sorry," she whispered as I almost leapt from the bed.
Reuben had changed me… his desire for a mate had fuelled his passion to change me, a mere human, into a vampire… and he had been disappointed… so disappointed when I hadn't responded to him…
And now he was back, seeking revenge… wanting…
Bella.
Bella was immediately by my side.
"Alice, please talk to me."
Reuben… who was provoking my family with his persistent distractions, intent on pulling us apart. Intent on pulling Bella and I apart…
Bella I am your fate…
Reuben who had a gift similar to Bella… the gift of shielding…
The gift Carlisle and the Volturi were kept in the dark about… unless…
A thought suddenly struck me.
"What if I somehow gave him his gift Bella?"
Bella's brow scrunched.
Slowly I continued, "Carlisle never recalled Reuben having any particular gifts while he spent his time with the Volturi…"
Bella slowly nodded before tilting her head slightly.
"He could have hidden his gift?" she asked lightly, as I found myself trying to remember Carlisle's words…
"Carlisle said Reuben became careless with his choice of victims… that he opposed the rules and regulations, almost flaunting the decisions he made, the same decisions which led to his ultimate expulsion from the Volturi… he never wanted to leave, Bella. If he could have used his gift and shielded his presence whenever he killed an innocent human, they would never have known it was him… he didn't use his gift, because he didn't have it then…"
As my words trailed off, I saw the realisation run across Bella's delicate features.
"When he turned you, he gained some residual energy from you…"
I immediately interrupted.
"When he turned me, I gave him that gift… I gave that psychopath a gift…."
I felt myself shake as Bella placed a supportive hand on my shoulder.
"Yes, you may have given him that gift Alice, but it was unintentional… you were oblivious… we were all oblivious…"
"Until now," I replied, my voice husky.
Until now….
Bella's arms were around me once more, embracing me like a protective cocoon.
"Alice, we will find Reuben… and when we do…."
"When we do, I'm going to inflict the same punishment on him that he did to the Doctor that made my life a living hell," I murmured.
It was time for revenge.
It was time for retribution.
It was time to finally end the nightmare that was Reuben.
A/N - Time for the fun to begin? :) Thanks once more for sticking with this story!