A/n:I'm sorry this is really late...

I can't explain why right now cause I'm in a hurry...

I'll explain when I can..

I promise!

Enjoy this in the meantime!ü

Sorry again...

By: Aningme

Chapter 22

Dilemma: The Sequel

He didn't want to admit it, but he couldn't help it but feel the painful punch in the gut of the anxiety that was torturing him ever since his decision. He guessed it was just impulse, or even desperation, for him to accept such a huge option--he wouldn't really know.

Perhaps he just needed it for Hermione, hoping that taking her there would bring back memories that she lost. Perhaps he needed it for his child too, hoping that when he/she comes in this world, everything would be back as it should be. It seemed to him that the decision wasn't as bad as it looked, considering those possibilities.

But, even at the point of view of the most logical angle of it, he still felt the dread that would always stay in his heart. The guilt would be there, the sadness, the shame, the pain.

But he had to tolerate it. He had to take it in.

He was, anyway, also doing this for himself.

He wanted it to be over, for his sake, and for everyone else's.

He was the only one who could do it. And no body else.

And with that particular fact, there's no turning back now.

Turning from the comfort of the sofa to the window panes of the parlor, he stared out as the mild silver moon shimmered over the front porch of Hermione's apartment. He listened as the discreet pots and glassware tap and clang in the kitchen, nearly smiling at having the idea of Hermione fixing dinner. She insisted of him to stay away from the kitchen as much as possible, not wanting to spoil her surprise. He'd always been the one to take care of her, she pointed out.

And, finding the opportunity a perfect timing, it was her turn now.

Sighing more in idleness than boredom, he turned to the door separating the kitchen from the parlor. He had no idea what she was doing in there, what she had in mind.

And hell, he'll be damned if he just sit on the sofa and let in the opportunity of moping the whole night take over him.

Finding her busy with a chicken casserole (he supposed) and a pot of something soup, he cocked his head and folded his arms over his chest. He studied the way her hair was messily tied up in a ponytail, having some locks falling down her face. He noted the apron she was wearing, the pot holder she was holding, and the way she frisked at the soup smoothly. He almost laughed out loud as he watched her taste the possibly casserole, frown a minute, then shrugging, dashing more salt into it.

She took her cooking very seriously, he mused, watching her hazel eyes gaze over at everything, setting everything, like it was such a critical contraption.

And with that, he couldn't help himself feel the strong urge of his admiration for her. And also, he couldn't help the lust that started rolling over his gut spreading over his head.

Catching himself, he shook his head and cleared it, composing himself, and retreated to a safe distance. He was always an expert on controlling his feelings and his thoughts, letting it flow in convenience for him in any situation.

But with just the sight of her, she could easily dazzle his head and perplex him with strong emotions he couldn't control.

And so far, she was the only one who could do that to him without any effort.

"Smells good. The aroma." He muttered, startling her. He watched in amusement as she glared at him and glanced at the egg that she was previously holding, and was now cracked up and messy on the floor. "Oops. Slipped." He smiled, grabbing a towel nearby to clean the mess up.

"I told you not to come here." She hissed, grabbing the towel from him and cleaning up the floor by herself.

He chuckled at her, adoring the look of annoyance on her face, and crouched down in front of her. "I felt all alone out there." He pouted, making her laugh. "I'm sorry about the egg."

She straightened up and tossed the towel aside. "I have plenty more."

He turned to the refrigerator and took one, handing it to her. "What's it for?"

"What?"

"The egg."

Hermione cocked an eyebrow and shook her head. "I'm not telling you."

"Oh really." He said, leaning over the busy stove. "Lot's of goodies here."

"Just get out of here and leave me be." She slapped his back good mannerly and pushed him mildly to the door. "The others might arrive sooner or later. No one would come to the door for them with both of us in here."

Grabbing her hand behind his back, he pulled her into him in a maneuver and held her close, really close. "They can wait."

She laughed shakily and tapped his cheek, fretting to find her hands shaking a little. "Draco. The casserole might burn if I don't check on it." She pointed out, her heart beating fast as her face and his were only an inch apart.

He smiled ever so slyly, turning her stomach into a frantic rumble. "So, you are cooking casserole."

She willed her face to frown at him, but instead, ended up smiling. "You're such a con man." She pushed his back towards the door, opening it and leading them both outside. "Now you wait here and greet our dear friends when they arrive. I'll tell you all about my cooking when it's all done." He pouted again. "That won't work with me now, so quit it. Be patient and I'll be right back. Dinner's almost ready." She turned away from him and deserted him again, leaving him alone.

Disappointed, he turned to the window and watched a black minivan park just across from the black gate.

He just watched as Ron, Ginny, Seamus and little Relina emerged from the minivan, their smiles and chatters seemingly an effect of the excitement that blooms from them. It was Hermione's idea to have a small get together tonight, somewhat a little farewell party before they both leave for Hogwarts tomorrow. He thought it wasn't necessary for all that fuss for a simple trip like that. It wasn't like they'll be staying there for a long period of time. A week, he deduced, and not an hour more. And then, they'll be back for the better, he hoped.

But then, as he watched his friends walk over to the gate towards the front door, he didn't realize the calm smile that curved his lips. He wasn't sure if he was going to be used with their get together times every time there's an occasion in any form.

But apart from that, he felt good to have them around for such things.

He never liked having those people around him. He never thought he could tolerate them.

But somehow, they became a huge vital part of his life now. His life with Hermione… He wasn't used with people talking to him about serious things, and people concerned about him for serious situations at hand. He never had anybody to ask him how things are, or to hang out with just for the sake of it, just to have fun. He never knew what fun was, thinking work and wealth would be the only things he needed in his life.

But now, with these people around, he didn't know there was even more to that.

And, to his bewilderment, he never thought that the people, whom he hated the most before, would be the people whom he'd treasure most in his life.

Surprise, surprise. He is already one of them.

The Gryffindorks. And their adopted Slytherin a-hole.

He laughed at that, shaking his head good naturedly, and turned to the door to welcome his friends.

"There he is!" Ginny, the ever so perky Ginny, wrapped him in a bear hug, smothering him, and beamed him a good welcome smile. "It's good to see you here." She sighed dreamily, threatening him.

He nodded, recovering from the hug, and managed to smile. "It's good to see you guys too." He muttered, feeling the jitters from the hug. He glanced at everybody and smiled at the little girl who was clinging up over his legs the moment he opened the door.

His favorite niece was smiling up at him, her eyes glimmering with excitement. "Mama said Aunt Hermy was sick. Is she okay now?"

He glanced at Ginny and crouched down to her and picked her up, carrying her. "Wow, look who's getting bigger every time I see her." Relina giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Aunt Hermy's getting better. She's in the kitchen making dinner."

"Oh, I hope she's making a casserole. She's really good with that." Seamus interjected, his eyes adoringly settling over his snuggling daughter up Draco's neck.

"I also brought some red wine." Ron added, lifting the bottle and studying it. "It would be good with the casserole, if that's what she is cooking."

"Why don't we find out inside?" Draco shifted and gestured for them to enter.

"Now would you look at that!" Ginny looked around, smiling at everything. "It looks even better the last time I came here."

"Sure is spooky." Ron muttered, glancing at everything. "I feel like I'm in a time warp or something. It looks so… the same."

"Not bad." Seamus nodded. "Not bad at all."

Having a brief moment of observing silence, Ginny turned to Draco and smiled at him, still overwhelmingly pleased with what he had done for her best friend.

It still felt weird to realize that the person they hated the most just a few years back was now the husband of her best friend. "Malfoy… Thank you."

Draco turned to her, amused. "For what?"

"For all of this. It's really great." She sighed lightly. "This really means a lot to her."

He turned to the place and looked around, studying everything in ease. "It's nothing really. It's no big deal."

"Oh, but it is." Ron interjected and glanced at him, studying his face. "This would help her cope up with everything more than anything else. This had been, and seemed to be always, her sanctuary when everything falls apart on her." He touched the table, and the sweet smelling daisy resting inside a long glass vase on top of it. "She did hide in here before, when you left for Canada."

Draco just stood in silence, feeling the air suddenly going thicker.

"She tried to run away from here too, moved to a new one farther from us and from the hospital, and tried to live a new life." Ron continued, watching his silver eyes. "But still, she ended up coming back."

Suddenly feeling the heaviness of the air, Seamus suddenly chuckled and stepped up between Ron and Malfoy. "Well, we really did go way back." He cheerfully interjected and grabbed the red wine bottle from Ron's hand. "Why don't we have some of this while we wait? I'm sure Hermione wouldn't mind."

"Yeah, you guys do that while we girls do the kitchen work." Ginny smiled at Relina and took her from Draco. "Why don't you give your auntie and mommy a hand in the kitchen? I'll teach you how to cook." She mumbled in Relina's ear, her voice cooing through the kitchen.

"So," Seamus began. "How is she?"

"She's really doing well." Draco answered, grabbing three glasses from the table and handing them over to Ron. "We talked about a few things, decided on a few things…" He smiled, finding himself unusually comfortable about reporting on everything to them. "And we're trying to work it out."

"That's good." Seamus nodded. He watched him smoothly pop the cork from the bottle and gallantly pour the wine into their glasses. "How are you?"

Draco lifted his glass as if in toast and sipped. "Never been better." He sighed and thought over the wine. "Not bad, Weasley. Good choice."

"San Diego Spanish grapes, 1945. Just shipped in yesterday." Ron muttered and sipped his. He whirled his glass and watched its dark red gleam over the dim lights. "You sure about all of this, Malfoy?"

Draco cocked a brow ever so casually, acting as if ignorant of what he was pertaining to.

"I mean," Ron sighed, walking over the couch, sitting down. "Going back to Hogwarts. It's a little…"

"A little what?" Draco interjected, his voice so calm and stoic, giving Seamus a little chill down his spine.

Ron glanced at him. "A little complicated." He muttered; his voice low and deep. "A lot of things had happened and—"

"I know that, Weasley. Haven't you thought of me figuring that out before I even decide on this?" Draco pointed out, his temper almost winning over control. He shook his head and sighed softly, hissing out air, relaxing his head that was already throbbing inside his skull. "I have already decided. You can't change my mind."

"It's always that way with you, isn't it? We can't change your mind." Ron deduced and lifted his snifter as if in toast. "Here is to you."

"Ron." Seamus warned, glancing at him. "You heard the man. He already decided."

"The fact of the matter is, Finnigan, I am wondering why we are even having this little conversation." Insulted and pissed, his vision suddenly faded in a nauseating blur, merely startling him. He shook his head casually, glanced at his snifter, and set it aside. "If I may ask the reason of your decision to change mine…"

Seamus tipped his glass empty to his lips and sighed in content, a façade of his rumbling stomach that was doing flips in frustration. "No offence meant, mate. But like what Ron said, it will be complicated." He watched as Draco calmly turned to the window panes and stare out into nothingness. "But if you think about it, it may help Hermione."

"It may and may not." Ron amended, gazing deep at his reflection on his empty glass. "But what exactly are you planning to do there, Malfoy?"

He didn't answer for a moment, his eyes going blunt. The headache was seeping through him, and the fatigue that he set aside awhile ago with Sober Up and caffeine was taking its toll on him, weighing his body down. The meds and caffeine are wearing off, he mused, and pressed the heels of his palms over his eyes to relieve some pressure. "I have to talk to some people, clear things up." He finally answered, ignoring the throbbing of his eyes and the shadows lurking in the corners of his sight. "I have to go back and end this. End it all."

"Bullshit." Ron hissed and shot right up from the sofa, startling Seamus. "You're just like her, shutting down on everybody like that and pushing us away. You both love to put three meter thick of cement wall around you and lock yourselves in, trap yourselves in to another world different from ours. We may not know what exactly is going on around in your heads. But why can't you let people come in to your shields and let us help you?"

Draco turned to him, bewildered with his sudden outburst.

Ron hissed a breath slowly and calmed himself a moment. "You don't need to close yourself in seclusion and deal with it alone. It's suicidal." "I know that, Weasley. I know my li—"

"You need to remind yourself that you have us. Fortunately or unfortunately, you do." Ron muttered, crudely cutting him off. "Don't tell me you know your limits. Look at yourself. You're white all over. You're losing weight. You're pushing yourself into an internal breakdown."

"I do know my limits. And I'm not into an internal breakdown or into any of that crap." He insisted; his temper and pride overtaking him. He wanted to step up to Ron Weasley, grab his collar, and make his point. But as he felt his knees wobble, he reached for a chair and sat down philosophically, the sight of himself dead sick in the tub, Harvey's temper glowering over him, and Hermione's worry draining in her face flashing before his eyes… "I just… I don't want any of you in this. I started this, and I will end it."

"Just swallow your pride for one bit and think about Hermione and yourself." Ron snapped, making Seamus take a precautionary step back. "You think this is best for her? And the baby?"

"Ron—"

"You don't understand." Draco interjected, shutting Seamus up. He ran his hands through his hair and tiredly looked at them. "This is not my pride we're talking about. I have to do this. I need to. For all the things I could give her, this would be the best I could ever do. Let's face the truth and accept it. I have caused all of this. From the very moment my mother came back, to the point of the accident, to the difficulty she's in now, the pain I have caused her, the tears she'd shed for me, the grief she and you have endured, the death of Potter… Everything."

"Malfo—"

"No. Let me finish. I have to point this out." Draco insisted, standing now. "From all the money, the pleasures I could give her now, the hardest thing and the most essential thing is what I will give her. It's the truth that she needs. The freedom from confusion is what she needs. And I'm going to give her everything. I mean everything. Even if it meant for my life, even if I need to go back to the place I dreaded the most almost half of my life." He paused, breathing ever so slowly to calm himself down. "I need to do this for her. Maybe for myself too. And having the fact that I did it by myself just might justify what I have done."

"Justify what, Malfoy? That you killed Harry Potter?" Ron questioned, staring coldly back at him.

"Justify the truth, Weasley. And nothing else." Draco amended, leveling his eyes with his. "Just let me do this. I just want to make things right for her… Bring her back… Let her know everything. I don't know whether she'll still look at me the way she looks at me right now. I don't know if she could still accept me as whom I am… But even if she can't, it would be enough for me. I don't want to force her to love me… I don't want her to love a person she doesn't even know…"

"She married you before. She also knew about everything before. Why do you think she'll leave you now?" Seamus finally spoke, his voice suddenly gone rusty of misuse.

"You're a royal pain in the ass, Malfoy." Ron suddenly sighed. "Like always."

"I would prefer to clean my own mess than to make other people do the dirty work." Draco added, a weak smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Like paying your dues?" Seamus nodded. "I really understand what you're saying, mate, but can you handle this now? I mean, Hermy, and Hogwarts, and the baby? C'mon. It's a whole bundle loads."

"You're underestimating my abilities, Finnigan?"

"Nope. Just clearing the facts from fiction. Look at yourself. You look like a corpse. Drank too much of the wine?"

"It's not the wine." Ron corrected, just staring at Draco, his eyes secretly smirking at him, knowing more about something he shouldn't know.

Draco just grinned back in acknowledgement and nodded at them. "I'll just freshen up upstairs while you wait. I think the girls are almost done." He said and walked towards the stairs.

Seamus just shook his head at him until he was out of sight. "Sure is a hard wall to break."

"He never changed." Ron nodded and poured some more wine.

A/n: Waaahh!

Really short, I know...

But I really gotta hurry!

Will update when I can...ü

Until then!ü