Disclaimer: You'd think that I could get a good bargain on buying Phil of the Future since even Disney doesn't broadcast it anymore, but no. I still don't own PotF.
•BEEP •
Hello, this is the Home Sweet Home Shopping Network. We at HSHSH recently received a sample audition of a competitor's video marketing show, Keely's Korner. Loved it! Anyone who can move that junk would be an asset to our organization. Televised rapport, poise, glamor, authority, yet retaining the girl-next-door essence -- this Keely has it all, especially if these numbers check out for her viewer sales. Yes, we're interested in acquiring Keely Teslow, but not "buying her" as your proposal suggests. We don't really buy and sell people. That's just an urban rumor; myth, really. We "rent," sometimes, but no buying. Not yet. Not that the price you're asking for isn't extremely tempting (you're really eager to move her immediately, aren't you?), because it is, but we don't ... you do understand, don't you? In this century, it's really not "legal." Maybe someday -- and then there's the shipping and handling problems -- our lawyers are still working on it ... please, have your people call us back, Miss Diffy, and we'll work out the details, and maybe you can go into depth with some of your other tantalizing prospects. Can you explain exactly what you meant by a "good deal on fashion zombie models?"
•BEEP •